APH and its characters (c) Hidekaz Himaruya

Boyue's Note: This story was born lame. I am sorry. D8

"You may not love me today, tomorrow, or ever, but I will love you until it kills me, and, even then, you'll be in my heart." - Unknown

Pairing: France x Canada

Matthew crossed his hands and placed them on the table. Kumajirou sat still on his laps; it didn't make a fuss like it usually did. It didn't complain or make strange comments about things. It sat quietly on its owner's laps, understanding what the somber atmosphere in the room meant.

Across the table, Francis leaned against the chair and crossed his legs. He exhaled slowly, eyes glancing at Matthew now and then, but never really looking at him. And Matthew knew that because he couldn't take his eyes off Francis. Even though his vision was blurred by the tears welling up, he kept firm eye contact. Even as Francis continued to avoid him, Matthew stared and stared.

Wondering what was so repulsive about him that made Francis not want to look at him.

And his heart just broke again and again into smaller and smaller pieces.

"Je suis désolé mais je ne peux pas t'aimer," Francis said, his eyes still averting Matthew's stare. "Tu es comme un fils à moi."

"Je sais," Matthew responded in weak French.

"Tu vais trouver un autre amour," Francis added with a soft sigh. "Tu es un garçon merveilleux."

"Stop."

"Mattieu, je sais que tu…"

"Stop!"

Matthew slammed his hands on the table. He took a sharp inhale for air, hot tears rushing down his cheeks. He shook his head and apologized quickly for his behavior. He wiped his eyes and breathed loudly through his mouth.

"I-I'm sorry," he mumbled through harsh sniffles, "I'm so sorry."

"Ne pleures pas, mon cheri."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Matthew finally broke eye contact. He turned his head and gazed at the wall as he tried to calm his nerves. But no matter how many breathes he took, his lungs still felt out of air. His head ached like someone was firing rockets into his skull. His heart tightened; every beat of the vital organ sent a jolt of pain through his body. His stomach turned into knots. He felt like vomiting. He knew now how it felt to be utterly broken-hearted.

Kumajirou perked up its head; its long eyebrows frowning with sorrow. Matthew patted the bear's head and forced his eyes back to Francis. He took one last sniffle with a big heave of his shoulders. He pursed his lips together and smiled widely.

"Merci pour tout," he said, his lips quivering.

"Je t'adorerai toujours."

Francis reached across the table. But the Canadian flinched and took his hands to his laps quickly. He still smiled, forcing his muscles against their wishes. Francis nodded and pushed himself away from the table. He waited for a moment before he stepped toward the front door.

"Salut, Matthieu."

"Au revoir."

Matthew watched the door close. The sound of the click vibrated his ears like battle drums. He pulled his chin down and pressed it on top of Kumajirou's head. The bear squirmed and wiggled out of his laps. Matthew pushed his arms on the table and slumped over it. He chewed his lip and bit into his gum. His glasses chafed his cheeks and the tears stung his skin. His fingers dug into the flesh of his arms.

"I've always loved you," he whispered into the table. "Je t'aimerai toujours."

TO BE CONTINUED...

Boyue's Note: I don't ship this pairing... but it's about due time I write about them! The next chapter is connected to this story!

French translation: "I'm sorry but I can't love you. You are like a son to me. You'll find another love. You are a wonderful boy. Matthew, I know that you... Don't cry, my dear. I'll always adore you. Bye."

Matthew: "I know. Thank you for everything. Good bye. I'll always love you." 8Db

P.S. Visit my LJ for some adult-oriented stories~! ;D