Author's Note: Trigger Warning for Sexual Assault reference

I lay in my bed sobbing when we got back to Dauntless. Mom and I's crying had attracted the attention of one of the Dauntless leaders. I don't know what his name was. He had tattoos on his neck and he had dark hair with a dark stubble on his chin. He was attractive. I preferred Four though.

"What is going on here?" The Dauntless leader had demanded of us.

"I'm sorry." My mom said apologetically. "I just wanted to talk to my daughter."

"Well, truck is packed. It is time for us to leave. So, say good bye to her now."

"I will." My mom said as she pulled me into another big hug. "Bye, baby! I miss you."

"Did you all already have dad's funeral?" I asked her quickly.

"Yes, I'm sorry baby. We did." She said as she caressed my cheek before she hurried off.

I stared after her as she left. I heard a sigh behind me, and the Dauntless leader grabbed a hold of my arm and pulled me. "Come on" He said impatiently. How nice of him to treat me roughly after learning that my dad died!

My tears dried up between the time we got off the loading dock to when we got into the truck. I held my tears in until we arrived back at Dauntless. I cried the moment I got into my bed. Amy and Randy got on the bed with me to comfort me. I don't know how long I sobbed my eyes out with them saying soothing words and patting me.

"You know what we should do?" Randy finally recommended.

"What?" I asked curiously. I sniffled a bit.

"Get drunk"

"We start fear simulations tomorrow." Amy pointed out. "I don't think it's a wise idea."

"I have to agree with Amy." I said reluctantly. It was an appealing idea that could numb me of anything I was feeling right now. "I was thinking about getting another tattoo."

"Oh, that's cool!" Amy said happily. "I like that idea."

"You know what?" Randy remarked before smiling. "So, do I."

All three of us went back to the tattoo parlor located in Dauntless. I found a stencil for each of the symbols for both Amity and Dauntless. I had Tori arrange the Amity symbol to be on top and the Dauntless symbol to be on the bottom of it. It would be located on the center of my back near my neck. The tattoo symbolized two different things for me. One would be the obvious way of how I started off being in Amity and then transferred to Dauntless. The other was an inside joke. Both symbols of the two fractions looked like a campfire to represent the hunting trips I had with my father. The tattoo was my way of honoring my father's memory.

I had the pleasure of looking forward to fear simulations the next morning. I ate very little of breakfast because I was nervous what I was going to confront. We were waiting nervously as each initiate went through their simulation. By this point, there were only five of us left to go through the simulation. Mari was currently in simulation with Four watching over her.

We were taken back when two Dauntless members entered and went inside where the simulations were being held. They carried Mari out a few minutes later. She was in shock. Oh, great...I hope I wasn't next.

Four looked my way. I wasn't a good friend in that moment because I was secretly wishing he called Amy's name.

"Raven"

Of course, I thought sarcastically as I got up. I entered the room with him closing the door behind me. I went from being nervous to being uncomfortable.

"Sit down" He told me. I went to the chair and sat down. "I'm going to give you a serum that will stimulate the part of the brain responsible for fear. It's going to give you hallucinations. I will be able to see what's going on inside your head on screen."

I'm sorry, what?

"You're going to see inside my head?" I asked nervously. Now I was worried that he will find out I've been raped.

"Uh-hmmm" He replied. He looked at me suspiciously. He pushed me back till my back was on the chair. "You're going to be facing your biggest fears, Raven. Just remain calm and face them." He produced a large needle with the serum attached to it.

"Is that the serum?" I asked him, getting scared before the damn simulation has even begun.

"Yes"

"Does it have to be injected?"

"Yes"

I took a deep breath. Maybe I will faint from all this and he doesn't know what is in my mind. Four was scrutinizing me. It unnerved me because it seems his eyes was piercing my soul.

"Are you afraid of needles?"

"Yes"

"I'm sorry." He said apologetically. "I wish there was another way to do this, but there isn't. You have to be injected. Or you're out." Now he was beginning to sound like Eric.

"Let's just get this over with." I said impatiently.

"I'll be gentle." He assured me. I looked at him as if he said that as a purr. He ran his fingers down the side of my neck very lightly. I must've been a cat in a past life because I tilted my head for him to continue stroking me. It was relaxing. Soothing...and that's when he decided to inject the needle into my skin. I moaned and basically held my breath the whole entire time that the needle was in me as he still needed to inject me with the serum. "Good job" He said to me, his voice butter soft. "That's one fear you faced."

"Uh-hmmmm" I mumbled. I was already feeling the effects of the serum. It didn't seem long for me to go under.

When I woke up, I gasped. I was on these five pipes assembled together that was like ten stories off the ground. I take it this is because of my fear of heights? I laid back onto the air pipes. "This is not real." I repeated. "This isn't real." However, I couldn't get over irrationality that I was still up in the air. I didn't want to jump. I would be a dumb bastard if I did.

I slowly turned myself over until I was on my stomach. Then, I got on all fours. I looked straight ahead of me. Must. Not. Look. Down

I kept my eye on the opening near the ledge as I crawled my way across the skyline pipes. I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached the ledge. I sat against the wall, looked up to the sky, and try to catch my breath. When I looked down, I found myself at Amity.

I was surrounded by wood piles. Oh, shit...I knew what was coming. Numerous Brown recluse spiders emerged from underneath the wood piles. They began to chase me. I ran as fast as I can. They weren't fans of water. So, I ran to the water hole that I made love to Jonas near. I dove in the water. As expected, the spiders stopped at the edge of the water. However, this damn fear wasn't done with me yet apparently. The next thing I knew, all the spiders merged into one big Brown recluse spider that was about the size of a two story building. It's fangs were about the length of a man's arm. I felt myself feeling faintish looking at the big bastard that had six eyes as Brown recluses have six eyes rather than eight eyes like most spiders do.

The water dries up on me. I start running again towards the woods. I rest behind a tree. I looked down to see my quiver. I know what I'm going to do. I string my bow. I got the arrows right. I was ready by the time the spider came into view. I aimed the first arrow at one of the two middle legs on the right side. It was a direct hit where I shot the arrow straight through it's leg, trapping it to the ground. I shot the second arrow into the same leg on the opposite side. I shot two more arrows in the two other middle legs. The spider was trapped now.

I dipped the last arrow tip into bug repellent. Then, I took aim at the spider's head and fired. The arrow landed straight in the middle of it's six eyes. The spider struggled and made some creepy noise that I guess is a scream. Then, it collapsed onto the ground...dead.

I collapsed myself onto my knees, exhausted. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Jonas. My stomach filled with butterflies at the sight of him and my heart gave a happy thud. I was still in love with him despite us not being together. I was happy more that he was smiling at me.

"Jonas!" I squealed in delight as I threw myself into his arms. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too" He replied, hugging me tightly. The type of hug I wanted when I saw him at Amity a few weeks ago.

I pulled away slightly to look into his eyes. "I'm sorry." I said to him. My voice broke a bit and tears sprang to my eyes.

"For what?"

"You know"

"Tell me"

"I'm sorry that I left you in Amity." I said to him tearfully. "I really him. I didn't leave because of you. I left because of Adam."

He tipped my head back, so he could see more into my face. Concern crossed his handsome features. "What do you mean?"

"I left Amity of Adam."

"Why?"

The words were on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to tell him so badly. "I was r-" I began. I realized I couldn't say the word. It was like how my mind refused to admit I was raped when it first happened. "I was ra-"

"You were what?" He asked me again.