The wait was long. The time between taking Yuui's hands and watching his eyes open was undefined, a period spent in a confused whirl. A flurry of motions and emotion. He held him close, hands pressed to wrists, pushing red towels down into the scars.

Yuui had continued weeping, in regret it seemed. Although gently he leant his head against Kurogane's chest, apologising lightly, in a hoarse voice. He smiled a twisted smile, admiring the tools of irony, and grateful just to die in Kurogane's arms. As he closed his eyes, losing consciousness, Kurogane felt something leaving himself, desperate fear snatching at sensibility, refusing to allow him to remain calm. He eventually recognised his frustration, his anger, furious with himself. Clutching Yuui's paling body, shedding his first tears in so long, he blamed himself.

Very soon he could lose Yuui forever. And the thought of him stalling for time, waiting longer to book his flight, staying in a hotel for a night, even considering just a little longer… he didn't want to think what might have awaited him beyond the door. Besides that, he had promised to Fai that he would make sure his brother was alright. And despite all of this, everything that had happened between them, he sat there, holding him close, feeling his shallow breath fading against him, praying that he wouldn't leave like this.

But still, he felt glad to have met Yuui this one last time.

***

Yuui opened his eyes, staring at a white ceiling, hints of blue, breathing deep and steady. Slowly, everything comes back to him. He frowns, doubting himself, analysing the probabilities of suddenly finding those long desired arms wrapped around him, the possibilities of closing his eyes in one place but waking in another. He blinked, his mind turning cogs, increasing in pace, feeling a presence on each arm. Looking down - a red line, encased in plastic, emerging. He was in hospital.

Remaining whole for a second – a period of silence - he felt himself deteriorate, a heart shattering and he began to shake, close to tears. What he'd done. He couldn't understand or even comprehend his own memories. Shutting his eyes tight, one trembling hand held the other tightly, trying to feel the blood beneath. Breath shuddering, sobbing dry sorrow, he tried to find himself amongst what he sensed and felt it. He was terrified. He watched himself again, drenched in his own blood, a person he couldn't recognise or relate to.

He heard a door open and shut, heavily, fraught with anxiety. Yuui turned his head sharply and, as their eyes locked, remained very still, staring towards him, changing completely as footsteps came towards him. Something connected. Slowly, very slowly, breathing tentatively, he shifted his body ever so slightly, facing to the side, relaxing his shoulders, hands pressed flat against him and laying his head down softly, gently on to his pillow, staring towards his visitor. As if he were a rare and short-lived sight, he lay there for a long time, soaking in his image, his shape and form. Finally, his lips pressed themselves into a grateful smile, twisting gently into a lovely and warm shape – an appreciation of small things. Aware of the desolation surrounding them, the light pouring in behind him and uncertain of the reality before him, whether he had created this image or not, he whispered preciously, 'Good morning, Kurogane.'

'Tch,' his visitor snapped, breaking his steady, stone-cold gaze, 'so that's all you have to say?' He sat down beside him in a seat long-occupied.

'No,' Yuui responded, inspecting the bandages around his wrists, moving carefully to avoid twisting the tubing linking him to the machinery, cold and impersonal, gently bringing him closer to life. He accepted the events before him, exposing themselves with clarity. 'I probably don't have much to say but there are things I want to say.'

'Go on,' Kurogane said gruffly, folding his arms, leaning back, having sat in that chair for a long time.

Yuui closed his eyes, glanced to the side, a sense of heavy and overbearing thought overcoming his expression. He smiled lightly. 'I want to know what you have to say too. You came a long way and I'm sorry to put you through this.'

Kurogane frowned, brow creasing, speaking with a bitter and loud, almost shaking tone. 'What the hell were you playing at?'

To his surprise, Yuui laughed, so genuinely and carefree, it touched and skimmed the ceiling. 'I've not heard you speak like that in years,' he said, eyes peering nostalgically, 'but you're right. I'm stupid. And I'm sorry I ever made you worry. I'm just glad to see you back.' He turned his arm over, lips twisting into a thoughtful smirk as he gazed upon the consequences of his actions.

Kurogane stared towards him, eyes wide, slightly stunned by his reaction. 'Who said anything about being worried?'

Yuui's eyes suddenly lifted from his arm to Kurogane's face. He smiled knowingly and whimsically to himself. 'Nobody said anything about being worried, you just seem… really tense. I've upset you, and I'm sorry for that.'

It was Kurogane's turn to pause and to think now. Fumbling for words, he'd expected a fight and he'd expected to have won that fight somehow, anticipating a struggle in opinions, a battle for belief. Now he found himself on the other end of his prediction. He'd visited intending to apologise only to find himself accepting an apology. Confused, he couldn't see why Yuui should have been in any mind to apologise and so he remained in his seat, wordless, without a clue how to steer the conversation back on to its proper course. Defeated simply by a smile, bowled over by Yuui's steady and light hearted acceptance, he had no response.

'Thank you,' Yuui said, shattering the last of Kurogane's preparation, the remains of his solid stance.

'Why thank me?' Kurogane asked suspiciously. 'Shouldn't you hate me for stopping you?'

Yuui shook his head plainly, propping himself upright, wincing as strain was placed against his wrists. Kurogane leant over, reaching towards him, but by then he had already settled. 'No. This changes everything,' he said lightly, then stopped, welcoming silence. He stared towards the ceiling in careful thought, choosing his words with much consideration, plucking them from the mixed tangle of emotions lying above them. His mouth opened and closed several times, about to say something then deciding against it, licking his lips slightly as he burned time, as Kurogane waited, eyebrows raised, for an explanation.

Finally he decided. 'Nothing needs to happen. You could just leave right now and you'd still have saved me. All I needed was a reprise from what I was going through. Right now, I've got time to think things over.' His voice slipped, falling down into a reflective state, a grieving and memorial tone. 'I don't think I really want to die, I just needed a chance to see that.'

'Why did you do it?' Kurogane asked flatly without wasting time, extra words or even breath. Something about the method made Yuui smile another sweet gaze.

Staring down, warmth within his speech, a tone so soft it held an edge, he said, 'I don't know. Something between confusion, fear and exasperation, I guess. But I wonder… I felt like I'd lost myself and I didn't know how to set it right, I suppose.' He tilted his head to the side, eyes staring detachedly, pondering over his own mentality. 'Now that I can think about it with a clear head it frightens me. Then again, I can't explain why my head's suddenly cleared, why I feel I've suddenly returned to normal. That scares me a little too.' He smiled sadly.

Kurogane said nothing, shifting in his seat to a comfortable position, as if telling Yuui without using words that he was prepared to listen to him for as long as he needed. Yuui smiled gratefully and continued. 'Maybe it was a last resort. I was too scared to wait for another solution, perhaps… at the time … I can't remember thinking about what I was about to do. I never even considered what I was about to do, I just did it. So before I realised anything was happening, I was staring at a gaping tear in my left wrist and holding a kitchen knife in the other hand.' He smirked, almost laughing, although Kurogane couldn't find the humour in that image. 'So I couldn't exactly stop there. When you came in, I had already cut the other wrist and was about to fill the sink with cold water.' He looked straight into Kurogane's eyes, lips pursing slightly, smiling apologetically and then breaking into a small laugh. 'You should be grateful I'm not very organised.'

Kurogane couldn't laugh back, even in the intimately awkward atmosphere Yuui procured in his disbelief at his own suicide attempt. He frowned, slightly pained, images surfacing, ugly and polluting rubbish on a clear and perceptible water surface. As clear as he could hope, at least.

Yuui sighed, accepting, realising how deeply he'd caused Kurogane to suffer, even if it never showed physically. Seemingly unreadable, Yuui could feel the nerves of the soft living flesh and tissue beneath the solid, impenetrable skin. He sank into himself, deciding not to lie again. 'If I'm being totally honest though, I'm not sure what to think anymore. I don't want to die but at the same time I can't see any meaning behind my existence. What I did try to accomplish in my life backfired horribly … and I can only blame myself for that.' He turned, facing away for a moment, either in self-shame or consideration.

'And what was that exactly?' Kurogane asked, now growing suspicious, sensing the origin of Yuui's pain, his predicament, his drained body in bed.

Yuui lifted his eyes. They stared with feeble emotion yet retained a steady, certain focus, a strength rising from his stomach, merging with the fluidity leaking from his chest. 'Part of the reason I decided to teach was to make certain no one would have to go through what I did at that age, at least within my own capabilities.' His lips shifted slightly, running over each other wetly and uncertainly. 'But there was a boy in one of my classes… I tried to stop him from making the same mistake that I had before but it didn't work out… it was like the moment was placed right in my hands… and then it just slipped and fell out of my control.' He took in a breath. 'There was another science teacher who must have been targeting him for a while… I started getting suspicious and he gave it away.' He paused, gazing through the air hanging around them, smothered in thought and regret. The light reflected off of it lazily, in a daze.

Thought and necessity pressed into Kurogane's skin, into his arms. Awkwardly, he shifted them as he prompted bluntly, 'So what happened to the boy?'

Yuui glanced, a guilty hue turning over his face. His tongue still lifted, placing sounds, calm and controlled. 'Neither of them has been seen for over a month now. And the boy's sister is dead,' he said, a dislocated and commemorative tone tightening his voice. He frowned. 'I should be dead too.' He closed his eyes, mouth twitching, almost forming a smile but being lost to his thought and his fear. 'That man made me part of his game. I can see that now. He didn't kill me for interfering because he expected me to kill myself after being involved and thinking it was my fault.' He buried his head in his hands, suddenly realising, feeling emotional pain in a sudden flood. Kurogane sat by and waited patiently for him to begin once more.

When he lifted his head, placing his hands on his lap thoughtfully, several tears had come loose and he brushed them away slowly, voice cracking, frightened, saying, 'I nearly let him kill me.'

Kurogane now moved forward, frowning in sympathy, and placed a hand on the top of Yuui's arm, smooth and soft, a smattering of teenaged heart-ache. 'He doesn't control you. You're in charge of yourself.'

Yuui's tears were blinked away, matched by a perked smile, a certain sweetness rising through the dank. He looked up towards Kurogane, holding this smile and nodded confidently.

Nothing to say, Kurogane retracted his hand, staring towards this new person, holding his breath, morphing into a hesitant being.

'Did you wait on me all this time?' Yuui asked lightly, a playful streak emerging, tweaking his expression and tone as he wiped away the remains of his tears.

There was nothing Kurogane could do to disguise the truth and nowhere to hide. He nodded reluctantly.

Yuui's smile took on a shade of gratitude and the words fell from his mouth, shining like pearls. 'Thank you.'

And Kurogane couldn't prevent his mouth from twitching, rising to form a short-lived smile, thankful for Yuui's life and for his voice.

'Do you have somewhere to say?' Yuui asked, a plain and conversational tone slipping into his throat.

Kurogane shook his head. 'Not yet.'

'You could always stay at my place. It's the least I can do,' Yuui offered.

Thinking of money, Kurogane decided not to fight against him. 'Thank you,' he accepted stiffly.

'Actually…' Yuui started with a puzzled expression, 'how did you get into my flat last night?'

'Er… The door was already open,' Kurogane lied quickly, scratching the back of his neck. Whatever, he didn't feel like explaining and Yuui had been a bit of a basket-case at the time anyway so…

He hurriedly snatched back his arm as Yuui frowned suspiciously at him, pitching a high 'Oh…' Something about his reaction gave away that he knew Kurogane was lying, perhaps reading his motions better than others, watching his arm, picking up and translating an old habit. Kurogane had forgotten how well they knew each other; it was surprising to see them both having changed so little after so long.

If Yuui realised then he merely brushed it aside, stretching in his bed with a complacent smile. He leaned forward slightly, resting against folded arms. He tilted his head, smiling angelically, nostalgically, peering into Kurogane's eyes. He watched Yuui, unflinching as he gazed towards him warmly, a strange and unfounded meaning beneath.

Finally he spoke, voice emitting warmth, attempting a simple statement. 'You know the way you speak hasn't changed. It's still the same as when we were young… but your accent's changed.' His mouth slanted slightly to the side, smiling as he watched the past.

And Kurogane stopped, voice not emitting any sound, no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't think of what to say. Held by such a simple statement, he felt the sparkling depth in Yuui's eyes and jolted as he realised that Yuui found this endearing, no matter how the comment had emerged on the surface. Withdrawing himself, using his maturity to draw limits on their relationship and conversations, Yuui was pleasant to speak to, easy to be around despite the past. But somehow it felt obvious to Kurogane - Yuui still felt deeply for him.

He gulped and closed his eyes. 'It's been a long time.'

***

Over the following week, dragging on step by step, he remained by Yuui's side, insisting that he'd be there every day for him, somehow grown bolder in his expression over the years. And Yuui's heart soared, unbothered by the challenges facing him – the barrier between him and Kurogane, the presence of doctors, concerned psychiatrists, bemused by his sudden turn in mind, the oppression of his ties with the lost Subaru and Seishirou. He floated, passing these nuisances by, glad merely to be granted one last wish: a chance to made amends. He couldn't quite explain it, but the second he'd lain eyes on Kurogane it was if something had suddenly reconnected within, jolting him back into reality, making him physically aware once more. He owed him his life.

And as his scars healed, the stitches removed, his mind mended, he talked warmly with Kurogane, a firm friend, growing closer each day, finding new things to discuss, untroubled by their former connection. Keeping a steady pace, their ease together grew alongside their strengthening bonds. Very little had changed. They avoided discussions of love-lives, deciding instead to talk about work, life in general, people they knew, things they enjoyed, things they just felt like talking about.

And on the day Yuui left the hospital, having finally shaken off chains and claims of depression, Kurogane had a surprise decision lying, waiting for him.

'Pack some things, we're leaving tomorrow. Maybe the day after,' Kurogane said as Yuui had stepped back into the flat, eyes morbidly being drawn to the remains of scrubbed blood stains on the carpet at first.

Ignoring these reminders, he turned his head sharply to stare at Kurogane questioningly. 'We?'

'Yes. We're going somewhere,' Kurogane said firmly.

Yuui laughed. 'I just got home! … Where are we going?'

'You're going to have to wait and see,' Kurogane said, holding more fear and impatience in his voice than awe or mystique.

Yuui raised his eyebrows. 'How long will we be away for?'

'I don't know. Just pack a few changes of clothes or something,' Kurogane snapped, immune after living out of luggage for over a week now.

Yuui smiled, although unconvincingly, slightly suspicious, a frown forming on his face. 'You're a very surprising man, Kurogane,' he said, turning away.

***
Note: I keep reading that over and thinking Yuui's reaction is so strange but it just seems like the type of thing he'd do. It seems just like our beloved from the original manga's type of reaction – I nearly died =D Is that a new haircut? It suits you!
I'll sit back and let you enjoy the love soon enough…
Oh and my friend 1234-I-Declare-A-Dance-War has just posted a new fic that she'd better continue *glare* I adore her style! *blatant advertising*