This...is...it...

Shopping had been beyond shit, I wasn't connected to Emily for nearly enough breath-taking moments, even in the cinema. I had been sandwiched between Cook and Emily, who was far too fucking involved in the film to even pretend to care about my fingers running across her knee and up her thigh slightly. Only the sigh of frustration caused her to look around and tell me to be quiet because people were trying to watch the fucking film. So yea, shit...definitely shit.

We were on our way back to the apartment now and I was slightly happier given the current circumstance of Emily being forced to sit on my lap as we now had two extra people to squeeze into the clapped out excuse for a car. She was playing with the back of my hair, kissing me occasionally when my bright blue eyes blazed into hers, making everything seem somehow worth the wait. Cook and Katie were sat next to us and Effy was smirking effortlessly at our obscene closeness in the mirror, having ultimately refused to let Mel drive back seeing how she nearly killed that old guy. Fucking hilarious, but a death by dangerous driving charge that it probably would be best for us to avoid.

The journey home hadn't taken too long and no sooner had I collapsed in my cabbage like state on the sofa, I was under orders to go out with Mel and get in some booze for the oncoming piss up. Cook had lit up a spliff and passed it over to Emily just as I was about to leave, despite Katie's obvious annoyance, he was still undoubtedly just fucking Cook, no one could harness him, but I'm sure Katie Fucking Fitch would give it her best shot.

"Hey don't get her too wasted, Naomi plans to use her later...right babe?" Mel shot me such a look and I could feel all the blood rush to my face in my embarrassment, it took me a while to regain functionality in my brain and words completely escaped me. I just stood there as my eyes flashed between a smug looking Mel, Cook grinning like a fucking idiot and Emily looking just as flushed as me.

"She's just jealous." Effy broke the silence, completely straight faced. It was Mel's turn to wriggle under the intent stares of Emily and me; I think I had a bigger grin on my face than Cook. Before I knew it, Mel had dragged me out of the apartment and out into the quite summer evening to get us the means to get absolutely rat faced. I couldn't stop laughing, she was walking several paces in front of me looking increasingly annoyed at the way Effy had destroyed her attempt at sarcastic genius. The air was thick with the smell of smoke emanating from evening barbeques, the laughter of people in their back gardens met my ears and as the sun started to set over the horizon, everything looked flawless.

"You going to walk this fast all the way there? I need to save my energy remember..." Mel stopped and seemed to fold her arms in front of her before I saw her back start to move in the obvious grip of laughter. I eventually caught up to her and she raised one of her eyebrows effortlessly in some form of silent appreciation at me always being able to rip the absolute piss out of myself around her. In other company I definitely got embarrassed, but when it was just the two of us it seemed that either of us could say absolutely fucking anything and then just shrug and giggle it off.

"Sorry Naoms, so, what is this impromptu party for anyhow?" We walked off at a more leisurely pace; probably a good thing considering smoking from the age of sixteen and a large amount of alcohol had left my insides and fitness levels pretty much fucked.

"Just you know, Emily moving back into the apartment and stuff..."I shuffled forwards and she just stopped, I had completely forgotten her fucking annoying ability to read me like an open book.

"What kind of stuff?"She was pretending to be inquisitive; I didn't even know what the fuck I had meant by it...obviously my subconscious trying to tell me that what I had bought in the jewellery store wasn't just an impulse for my girlfriend's birthday.

"You can't say anything, but, I bought wedding bands at the jewellery shop...My brain used the excuse that it would just be something nice for Emily's birthday...but..." Mel's face erupted, such a massive grin that was, to be honest, really disconcerting; once again showing that she knew what was going on in my own head better than I did.

"I knew it, not one to give in aye? Naomi Campbell getting down on one knee just because you love her...that's fucking brilliant!" She hugged me, holding me so tightly, I was confused...I didn't want to propose...I still didn't really want to get married, so then why the fuck had I felt the complete urge to buy something so absolutely connected to something that I still hated so god damn much.

"I...no, I, um...didn't..." I was floundering; Mel knew it and she released me from her almost killing embrace to look me square in the eye with a mixture of panic and complete confusion.

"So, what's going on?" I don't fucking know, where is all the 'I know you better than you know yourself crap when I fucking need it for a change? No, she doesn't deserve anger; it's all my own fucking doing, once again managing to confuse the situation beyond all recommendation. I just shrugged, light-heartedly against the new direction of the conversation before noticing that we had stopped walking completely.

"Maybe...oh, I dunno...you're fucking weird!" Mel smiled and walked off, there was no way in hell I was going to let her get this much out of me without helping me to figure it out in some way. I needed her ever so judgemental nature now more than anything and she was fucking walking away.

"Wait, what do you think I should do?" I knew it definitely wasn't a decision she could make for me, but she had helped me through so much, I would definitely never admit it to Cook, but Mel knew me better than anyone, after all she had enabled me to find myself way back at the beginning of university and since then had been nothing but a proverbial pain in my arse.

"I dunno babe, well, your fear of marriage is based on what? You see it as confirmation, something that shouldn't be needed because love should be all powerful...right?" I nodded, urging her to continue her psycho dribble that was actually rather spot on so far.

"Well, maybe if you, like...just asked her not to marry you properly, but have almost a wedding that isn't, a few friends, each of you could say just what the other means and then you could have the rings as your tacky reminder of how fickle your own beliefs seem when it comes to the love of your life's happiness..." I fucking loved this girl, how she could make so much sense of something going on in my own life that I couldn't even pretend to comprehend right now. I must have been looking at her with the complete adoration I knew I had in my eyes as she averted her gaze and started walking again. Silence descended and I just trudged quickly, caught up with her once again and wrapped her up in my arms. Thanking her for the insight that may once again make everything turn out almost too perfectly. She smiled took my hand before allowing us both to walk into the supermarket without a care in my world, finally, I took the rather large shopping list out of my back pocket. It was full of the usual, vodka, vodka and more fucking vodka, if I didn't know any better I would think that Emily was trying to get me drunk with the amount of shit that she had asked me to buy. It would take a lot, with all the neat spirits I had divulged in during the last few years, I was pretty sure I was getting immune to the stuff.

"Corona?" Mel seemed to have pushed our prior conversation well and truly out of her brain before she added her own input to what was missing, good old fashioned beer, I nodded insanely and she loaded up the trolley that she had produced from god knows where.

"Sounds good...what the fuck do we need more apple sours for?" I wasn't really speaking to anyone, but Mel still chuckled to herself at my instinctive swearing at things that made absolutely no sense. She didn't answer; we just put all the crap in the trolley and made our way back to the apartment as quickly as possible. I immediately regretted the decision to walk the short distance, even with the ruck-sack trick, that I had picked up at numerous festivals Emily and I had been to, the booze was still fucking heavy to carry. Effy and Cook met us at the door and helped lighten the load, spliff still hanging out of his mouth and the smell of my beer heavy on his breath, they seemed to have started the party without us, turning to Mel, the look on her face suggested she was thinking the exact same thing.

"We've got some catching up to do babes...Dutch courage for you though I think?" She grinned before handing me the bottle of Jagermeister we had picked up for the two of us and I took a deep swig allowing the warmth to wash all over my senses.

Three shots and four beers later, I was suitably wasted, but not too far gone that I wouldn't be able to ask Emily not to marry me when I felt the moment was right. The music was blaring and I was feeling completely shit for not feeling able to dance with Emily just in case all the words I was thinking about saying came out completely fucking wrong and I ended up asking her to do something utterly ridiculous. Cook seemed to catch on to the fact that something was up, as he practically threw the beer he was drinking down himself as he caught Mel and I talking through what I needed to say. He was far too fucking intelligent when he was pissed, it was bloody annoying how well he could read situations, like one of them sniffer police dogs, always on the scent of something that didn't really seem right somehow. Emily didn't seem to care that I was being so absent, deciding to take advantage of time alone with a now very drunk Katie Fitch to have some well needed bonding time.

"Naomikins...let's go fucking mental..." Cook's way of breaking the tension and the silence was to scream at me and hand me two flaming shots of sambuca, fucking disgusting, I hate aniseed, but I downed them with ease. This time remembering to blow out the fire first, I had singed my fringe in Uni on more than one occasion because I simply forgot.

"You're fucking planning something..." He shouted, causing far too much attention to be thrown our way.

"Shut the fuck up Cook, yea alright, I'm going to ask Emily not to marry me...don't fucking ruin it!" He looked confused, so I took the time to explain it, as eloquently as physically possible considering my now rather happy drunken state and how quiet I was hafting to speak. I could almost hear the penny drop as he attempted to point at his nose to indicate some understanding, unfortunately for him but fucking hilariously for everyone else, he missed and ended up shoving his finger straight in his eye...collapsing momentarily in a heap of laughter before standing upright again and downing his eighth beer.

Mel elbowed me gently and raised her glass over to a rather gorgeous looking Emily, looking in my direction, seemingly lost at the fact that Katie had disappeared somewhere, probably to pee, leaving her all alone. She looked so fucking cute. Mel shoved me forwards, causing my footing to fail miserably and me to stumble back into the front room before continuing the short journey into Emily's outstretched arms. Her touch was earth shattering; her hands ran along the length of my spine making me shiver genuinely uncontrollably against her. Leaning up, she encased my lips within her own, mouths moving perfectly together, pushing me to catch my breath. She smiled, the perfect smile that still after all this time made me feel like I was about to collapse. Utter brilliance resided in that smile, actually my whole fucking world lived quite happily in everything about her, something that didn't really need getting used to, she had been my life forever.

"You alright babe?" She asked gently, it wasn't the real question that was burning into her brain, I knew it wasn't...she really wanted to know what the buggering hell was going on and why Mel and I were whispering and giggling like rebellious school girls. Something she would just have to wait a while and find out, my own brain deciding that; for it to actually mean something I probably shouldn't be this fucking drunk.

"Yea, I'm with you...everything is just dandy!" I smiled my best smile, hoping all other questions would just flow out of her mind completely as I leant down to kiss her again. Harder this time, more force and longing hiding behind every movement my lips made against hers, tongues roaming freely, a perfectly drunken snog. Pulling away momentarily to regain some of the breath I had lost, I noticed Katie and Cook looking rather...well too fucking cute, he had just given her the necklace I had picked out and she seemed to really love it. Chalk up one for the blonde who knows shit tons about both the twins, fuck off...I'm proud of the insight I have thanks very much! Katie wrapped her arms around him and they shared a kiss of their own, making me gag only slightly, which was impressive, before everyone seemed to gather on the chairs and relevant sofa's for a rather shit game of charades.

As Emily was trying to find some non-embarrassing way of acting out the movie 'Cocktail' I found myself diving into just how terrific this whole reconciliation period had been and how I didn't want to go and fucking ruin it by making a spectacle that I wasn't sure was going to be completely accepted and liked. On one hand, she could see the effort and idea behind my 'un-proposal' and say how cute it is before taking me gently and then fucking my brains out for good measure. But on the other, she could take it as a kick in the teeth, say she never wants to see me again and my life would end completely. Suddenly I wasn't sure it was worth the risk...

"Fucking, Cocktail!" Cook shouted, bringing my attention back to the room with a bump as Emily jumped up and down with him for a bit before returning to my arms. I inhaled every part of her, relishing in the gorgeous mixture of her perfume, weed and vodka...quite a combination that I was utterly addicted to. Cook was about to start his turn, which I assumed would be another porno title that none of us had heard of and would just end up guessing stupidly hilarious ones until he gave in and sat down, but Mel stopped him.

"I've got a cracker..." She stood up, winked at me and then got to work, telling us that it was a film that had four words. I was completely scared, Mel's like me; she doesn't wink easy so you had better believe she had a fucking good reason for just doing so at me. I wasn't really paying much attention to what she was acting out, the only thing running through my mind was a million scenarios of how this night could end...far too many of them involved Emily not talking to me and just walking away for good. Muffled noises in the background suggested they were getting close to guessing the right answer so I returned my full attention in time to see Mel pointing furiously at me, Jesus, what have I fucking missed?

"My Best Friend's Wedding!" Katie shouted, and my heart immediately jumped into the back of my throat. Swallowing it back down as quickly as I could I attempted to hide the flushed cheeks I knew I couldn't escape from, bitch had set me up, yet again. I just sat there, waiting for the realisation to click into place, hoping that Emily would vaguely understand before Cook spilt the beans. Eventually I felt her attention turn to me, her deep brown eyes completely sobering in light of what I was about to do, Mel turned off the dull music and everyone else had muted to a hushed silence waiting for someone to speak. I took one deep and completely steadying breath, allowing me to stand up and face what I hoped would be the rest of my life head on. I took a few steps away from the sofa before turning around and looking Emily square in the face, nothing but complete sincerity in my eyes other than the burning fires of love that resided within me.

"Emily...I...was wondering if maybe...you would, um..." I was flailing, missing the point completely and giving her false hope that I was indeed about to get down on one knee and ask her to marry me properly. Deep breath, just go with it.

"...What I mean is, you know how I feel about marriage, how our love is stronger than everything and doesn't need to actually be proven to the government or state, or anyone else for that matter. But I look at you and I see my future, I see a family...maybe; one day...but more than anything, it doesn't scare me anymore. You take all the shit away and leave me with just more strength than I know what to do with, you mean everything to me...so I guess what I was wondering is, if you would do me the complete honour of not marrying me...but accepting this ring, accepting me for who I am...someone who isn't going to run anymore, someone who will always fucking be right by your side, until the very end." I took out the wedding bands that I had removed from my bedside cabinet earlier as she stood up and crossed the few steps towards me, tears in her eyes. But no smile, fuck! It was all going to go tits up, she knew I was just being a twat and now it was all going to turn to shit again. She paused as she got to me, taking one of the rings out of the box and...Slipping it onto her finger. Perfect fit and I found the strength to release the breath that I didn't realise that I was holding. She took the other one out, allowing silent tears to caress her perfect cheeks as she took my left hand and kissed the knuckles before encasing my second finger in with the silver band of belonging. It didn't burn, I didn't feel like I had let any of my morals and beliefs go, it just felt fucking amazing that I was hers and she in turn was completely mine.

She flashed forwards, burying herself into my chest, crying the happy tears that I really hadn't expected to see. Tilting her head upwards allowing me to lean down and kiss her perfectly with so much promise, momentarily encased in our own little bubble before being attacked by arms and embraces of the four other people that seemingly meant the world to both of us. Screaming, followed by laughing, followed by more drinking and eventually the realisation that everything was now and would forever be...

Perfect.

Fin...

Authors note to follow...obviously! :D (I won't tell you or ask you to review, just the fact that you have been reading is enough for me!)

Much love, forever and always!