Here is the last chapter. I'm actually quite sad this is coming to an end!
I apologise profusely for the start of this chapter but bear with me…
Ruth closed her eyes at her computer screen. Another one gone. Another friend dead. Tariq had stormed off of the grid because he couldn't bear the knowledge of Dimitri's death. It was horrifying. Ruth walked slowly into Harry's office.
"I'm going home," she told him heavily. He nodded and pointed at the phone in a way which Ruth understood. He had people he needed to talk to.
"I'll be there soon."
"Yeah," she whispered, quickly leaving the grid and Harry.
One month later…
Ruth held Harry's hand lightly as they approached the gravestone marking the resting place of their most recently lost colleague. The grief had abated somewhat but they both still missed him. Now it didn't hurt to remember the good times as well as the bad. Ruth had brought a small bouquet of flowers which she placed lovingly on his grave.
They both stayed silent in their own thoughts. Eventually by unspoken agreement they left the grave and walked away from the little country churchyard his family had chosen for him. "Are we just counting down the time?" Ruth asked sadly. "Are we just living for the day we're going to die?"
"No," Harry said firmly. "Some days it just feels like it. And this is one of those days." Harry put an arm around her waist lightly. "Everyone knows when they go into this job what it could take from you."
"But does it always have to feel this inevitable?" Ruth asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You have to remember the good times though," Harry said.
"I never thought I'd see the day when you were the positive one out of the two of us," Ruth said with a smile.
"I know we lose a lot of people," Harry said. "But sometimes they can still make you smile." Ruth looked at him quizzically. "Zaf," he said as they stopped and leant on a wall, overlooking a tiny country river.
"What about him?" Ruth asked. She had liked Zaf a lot and had missed him over her exile and had been devastated to learn of his death when she came back.
"When we found his body, months after he'd been taken it came down to me to go through his things in Thames House," Harry said. "I could have handed it over to HR but I wanted to do it. And in his bottom desk drawer I found this." Harry took out a small and battered notebook from his jacket pocket. Ruth took it and spent several minutes looking through it before she realised what it was.
"That cheeky little git!" Ruth said loudly as it dawned on her what she was holding. Harry laughed lightly at her reaction. "He was running a betting syndicate on the two of us…?"
"Apparently," Harry said. "I never mentioned it to anyone else but I have a feeling pretty much everyone in Thames House knew about it and most were involved."
"If I could see him now…" Ruth said still horrified that everyone had been speculating on her private life. And judging from the amount of entries in that book it really had been everyone. She closed the notebook shut with a snap and handed it back to Harry who pocketed it carefully.
"I miss him," Ruth said leaning on the wall. But after all this time she managed to smile when she thought of Zaf. Not to feel the gnawing grief anymore but to be able to see his happy face when she remembered him.
"I miss all of them," Harry said taking her hand in his. She turned to him and kissed his lips softly and happily.
"Zaf was five years out but we got there in the end," Ruth whispered.
"Yes we did," Harry said and he kissed her again.
Z is for Zaf. Special thanks to littlemissruth who came up with this great idea.
Thank you to everyone who has been reading this. An especially massive thank you to the following incredible people who left encouraging and inspiring reviews:
Alls Well, bluebyrd, cho123, Clem, cowbell, Deskspook, eggwhisker, fozzy88, Gem6, Karen8, Kate, LittlemissRuth, LiverpoolMiss, LivingInADreamWorldxx, mamzalini, more-than-words, MyladyLilith, nimax1, Novindalf, pook, sheldonsgirl18, Sparky75, spooksfan08, Symphony In Blue, The Damsels, the classicist, Three Sickles Short and watchstrap. (Sorry if I missed anyone out!) You helped me get all the way from A to Z without completely losing my mind. Without you fabulous people I wouldn't have gotten further than about C.
Here is the complete list:
A is for Anniversary
B is for Breakfast in Bed
C is for Curious
D is for Desire
E is for Elopement
F is for Flowers
G is for Grey
H is for Hiccups
I is for Irresistible
J is for Jealousy
K is for Kisses.
L is for London Landscape and Lingerie
M is for Marmite
N is for Numbers
O is for Overprotective
P is for Pregnant
Q is for Quality Street
R is for Red Roses
S is for Sunlight
T is for Take Away and Temper
U is for Under the Table
V is for Velvet
W is for Wedding Dress
X is for X-ray
Y is for Younger Model
And finally… Z is for Zaf.