"How many times do you think you'll save my life until I actually die?" It's the first joke in a long while. Gale and I are hunting, with Peeta's approval. I am still furious at Haymitch but he stays locked up in his room, refusing to talk to anyone. Vanessa has started eating again. I have expressed several times that I'd like to kick him very hard. But today, I shove a lot of extra stuff out of my mind, and focus on shooting. I hit a couple birds before I make the remark about Gale saving my life.

"Remind me again of the first time," he says, throwing a small knife into a tree with great skill.

"I'd rather not," I say. I am unwilling to relive the day he kissed me.

"Katniss, whatever happened between us doesn't matter anymore."

"Okay fine." I smile a little. "I was going to be fine, you just decided that I was gonna get hypothermia."

"Your lips were solid blue."

"Liar."

"They totally were." I shoot down another bird with the shake of my head and we sit down by a patch of berries to rest from the hike.

"Nightlock," says Gale softly, running his hands along the stem of the fruit. I grab a handful and hold it out, just like I did in my first Games. Before all of this started. But I guess it really started when I volunteered for Prim. Maybe a rebellion was already stirring before I got in the way and made the flame bigger for everyone.

"Look," whispers Gale, pointing to a small rabbit just four feet away. I load my bow and he nods. I pull back and am about to shoot, when something flashes in my vision. Vanessa, bound to a chair, her hair hanging. I scream. The arrows flies but I miss the rabbit by a mile, as Vanessa vanishes from the ground and the hare runs away. I try to catch my breath, falling back onto my bottom as my brain wracks with only one thought.

"Katniss, what happened?" asks Gale, gripping my shoulders.

"Gale," I mumble back, "I can't do it. I can't kill her. I can't kill any more people."

0o0

I make a plan to see Haymitch and Effie even gives me a key to his room to let me in. She is still shaky from whatever the enemy did to her, but she her old self is coming back as she kisses my cheek and runs off calling for Octavia. Haymitch's room is on one of the higher floors, where there happened to be less damage. He refused to move. I take the big stairwell up floors and floors of construction work, until I reach the dim lit hallway. It seems to be a servant area, with less fancy bedrooms and no paint on the hallway walls. The lights are almost all broken, smashed or just burnt out. I find his room, with a sloppy painted H on it and knock softly.

"Haymitch, we have to talk." Silence. I bite my lip, waiting for something, anything. Then a chair screeches as it is pushed across the floor. I step back just an inch as the door flies open. Haymitch is staring at me, his body a mess. His hair is pushed back greasily, his pajamas still on, and his eyes red, all give off an air of someone who lacks any sort of hygiene whatsoever. He is carrying a half empty bottle of whiskey and there's a pencil behind his ear.

"What do you want?" he snarls the moment the door is open.

"I want to talk to you," I say, fighting off the urge to faint from the smell of the alcohol on his breath and the stink of his clothes.

"No," he says at once. He slams the door. I hear the lock click.

"Damn you!" I cry, kicking the door. "Damn you Haymitch!" I kick it one more time before turning on my heel and leaving the hallway. I meet Peeta at the bottom of the stairs and he opens his mouth to ask me how it went.

"He's the worse person in the world," I growl before he can speak.

"Okay..." He takes my hand and we walk away from the stairs. I'm still fuming and kick anything I can reach with my foot.

"I hate him!" I cry after a moment's silence.

"I know," says Peeta, "I know."

0o0

The next morning, I'm still angry at Haymitch but I decide to take action if he won't. I go down to the tech room and find Gale puttering around with some of Beetee's old stuff.

"Here's my plan," I say without a hello, smacking my notebook down on the table. Gale looks at me oddly then picks it up and reads.

"Psychiatry lessons for Vanessa? Really Katniss?" he looks back at me. "She tried to kill you and your family."

"Her brain was poisoned by Snow! This is reform!"

"This"- he gestures to the notebook –"is stupid. She won't change. Were you not paying attention when she talked to you? Do you think she's just going to pop out of rehab and be your best friend? She is evil Katniss. Sorry to be dramatic, but she really is." I clench my fists.

"I just can't kill anyone else Gale," I whisper, "I can't keep murdering people and animals." He touches my hand.

"You don't have to. Someone else will."

"But it'll be because of me."

"She brought this on herself, there's nothing you can do." I sigh because I know he's right. But I still don't want her dead.

"Just...let me see her one last time and make a final decision on how I feel. Okay?"

"Okay."

0o0

Gale accompanies me to Vanessa's room and after a quick word with the guard, I'm free to go in. I open the door slowly, expecting to see Vanessa curled up by the window again, still skinny, but then I remember she's eating again and must be better. I open the door fully and see her sitting on her bed, staring at a book.

"You came again," she says, looking up at me. Her face has filled out back to normal, her hair washed and combed, running in small curls down her back. She has minimal makeup on, but it shows off her pretty face in a luminous way. I feel even worse than ever about killing her.

"Yeah," I answer after a long pause. "I'm here to make a decision."

"And that would be...?"

"Whether to have them kill you or not."

"Ah," she says pleasantly. "Well, that might not be your decision Miss Everdeen."

"I don't care. It should be." She just shakes her head, a little smile on her pale face.

"Maybe it's mine," she says softly. Then, out of nowhere, she reaches under her pillow and pulls out a gun. My first thought is that she's going to shoot me, but then I put her words and the weapon together in my head and realize what she's about to attempt.

"Vanessa, NO-!" I scream but she holds it to her head, her finger reaching around the gun. I lunge for her but she just laughs.

And pulls the trigger.