The two weeks before the holidays passed in a blear for Rachel and it wasn't long before she was saying bye to Lily and James.
"See you after Christmas!" Waved Rachel. "I'll send you your present on Christmas day! Bye!"
They all waved.

"I can't believe it's FINALLY the Christmas holidays!" Hannah exclaimed, falling into a chair near the fire
"I know what you mean." Sirius said "I haven't felt this tired since I did my OWLS!"
"YOU felt exhausted?" Remus asked "How do you think I felt?"
Hannah looked at him confused
"Full moon." He said to her. "Last two days."
Hannah laughed.
"Bet you found one of the questions REALLY easy!"
"Question ten?" Remus said. "Oh yeah!"
Sirius laughed at the memory
"Do you remember what you wrote?"
"How can I forget!" Remus answered.
"What did you write?" Rachel and Hannah asked.
"Erm...!" Remus replied "One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin."
They burst into hysterical laughter.
"Hey, I got full marks for that question!" Remus laughed.

The Christmas holidays came quicker than Rachel thought possible. She was becoming more and more nervous when Sirius came near her. Not a bad nervous but an excited one. Excited because the holidays were here and this would be the holidays were she and Sirius were going to have a really serious make out session and Rachel suspected it would go further. And she was kind of ready.
"Hey, Rach." Sirius came up behind her sliding his arms around her waist. He had been teasing her all week quietly between them about her big vision.
"Hey you." She replied leaning against him. "Can't believe most of us went home."
James had taken Lily to meet his parents and then Lily would take James to meet hers. Peter had gone home to his Grandmother. Remus, Hannah, Sirius and Rachel were the only Gryffindor's at Hogwarts for the Holidays.
"Me neither." Sirius kissed her neck sending delicious shivers through her body.
Rachel turned to give him a kiss. It was a soft, tender and delicious kiss. When they finished Sirius rested his forehead on her's.
"I think... No... I know - I love you, Rachel." Sirius said staring deep into her eyes. Rachel eyes filled up. One lonely tear slid down her face and Sirius traced its path with the tip of his thumb.
"I love you, Sirius." She whispered. "Sirius, I'm ready."
Sirius looked at her, then took her hand and led her to the boy's dorm.
"Sirius wait! What if Remus walks in?" Rachel asked.
"He won't, I promise." Sirius reassured her.
"Ok." She said with a smile. She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him. He returned the kiss and backed them to the bed where they tipped on to it. They kept kissing while they got rid of her tank top and got rid of his jumper. Sirius ended the kiss to pull his t-shirt over his head he had a toned belly. They resumed the kiss and Sirius opened up a few of her blouse buttons and then his hands were inside her blouse. Rachel ran her hands over Sirius' shoulder and down his back and over his belly. She felt him shudder.
Then it all happened her skirt was off and so was his trousers then the underwear came off.
When he saw her he muttered
"Beautiful."
Then he touched her breast with his lips and Rachel felt a shudder work its way through her.
Then she gasped.
"Now." And he entered her and filled her and when she climaxed, he followed right behind her and together they lay there their hearts thumping together in rhythm. Sirius got up to close the curtains then they both got under the covers and before they fell asleep Rachel said
"Hannah lost it before me you know?" Sirius chuckled and pulled Rachel closer to him and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

…

"Oh my God, Rachel!" Remus yelled jerking Rachel and Sirius awake.
"What's wrong?" They both asked groggily.
"Was he your first?" Remus asked staring at them.
"Yes. I am no whore brother, now if you dont mind some of us are trying to sleep here." With that Rachel yawned and turned over so her back was to Remus. Sirius also yawned but looked at Rachel's sleeping form for a bit then he fell asleep with the image of her beauty imprinted in his memory.

…

"Stop moaning! Sirius didn't act like this Remus, neither did Rachel." Hannah snapped jumping out of bed and getting dressed "They love it each other so it is ok. It's like us."
"Dont leave." Remus pleaded.
"No, Remus you need to think and get used to the idea of them sleeping with each other. And your in no mood for getting' some." Hannah said. Now fully dressed she stalked to the door and looked at Sirius' bed.
"They love each other, they are made for each other. If you can't see that your blind." she said softly turning to look at Remus.
"Then I am blind!" He snapped shutting the curtains.
"I hope you're not blind about us." Whispered Hannah she shut her eyes and a tear escaped and trickled down her cheek. She turned and left.

"Hannah!" Remus yelled after her, he got dressed quickly and ran after her. He saw her run up the stairs to the girls dormitory, he ran up about 4 stairs to turn it into a slide because he knew she wouldn't have reached the top. When she reached the bottom of the slide, Remus pulled her up.
"What did you do that for?" Hannah demanded.
"I want to know how you can think that I could be blind about us." Remus answered.
"The way you reacted just then with Rachel and Sirius!" Hannah said, more tears flowing down her face.
"Sweetie, don't cry." Remus said, he brought her close to him and wiped away her tears.
"Can I tell you something?" Hannah asked.
"What?"
"This is gonna sound stupid." Hannah said "But when I'm with you and you're holding me in your arms, I don't want you to let me go."
…

(At Lily's parents house)

"So this is the FAMOUS James Potter?" Petunia drawled. "I don't see why you have to talk about him all the time."
"How do you know about James?" Lily asked curiously. "And that?"
"You talk about him none stop on the phone and in your sleep!" Petunia pointed out.
"Exactly what have you said about me?" James asked Lily.
Before Lily could answer, Petunia butted in.
"Stuff like you're the first guy she ever kissed." Petunia said. "I wouldn't be surprised if you're the first guy that she sle..."
Lily slammed the door in her face.
"I was the first guy you ever kissed?" James asked.
"Yeah." Lily confessed "First year, when Sirius put us under that spell."

…

Rachel woke up at four o'clock in the morning and knew she'd never get back to sleep. So she got up and got dressed and went to the lake to think.
"Oh, why can't my brother be happy for me?" She asked herself not knowing some one was watching her.
This is the only chance I'll ever have, he thought, wait who's this coming to wreck my plan... No not wrecking it but making it a lot easy why it's Miss Black.
He watched them for a while longer and...
"Hannah! Look out!" Rachel screamed. Hannah threw herself into the lake. The death eater's blade narrowly missed her. Then he charged at Rachel who tripped up. The death eater picked her up and spun her around so she was facing Hannah.
"You can watch her die then you'll have the same fate." The death eater said. Rachel felt panic then she became calm.
"You are the most stupid death eater ever." Rachel said bringing her arm back into the guy's stomach. Then she slammed her heel into his foot. He yelled in pain and let go of her and she thrusted the heel of her hand upwards breaking his nose. "Hannah, run!"
They ran but he caught up with them and grabbed Hannah.
"Accio knife." Rachel said waving her wand. She turned around and stabbed him in the neck. "Why was he so close to me?"
"I kicked him away from me." Hannah said.
"And I just stabbed him." Rachel said.
"What were you going to do with a knife?" Hannah asked.
"Threaten him." Rachel looked at Hannah then at the body. "Let's see who it is."
Rachel heard Hannah throwing up.
"Yeah there is a lot of blood." Rachel said she removed the mask. "Oh my god! Hannah its Peter!"

Hannah had turned ghostly white, she couldn't look. I've got to go and find someone she thought.
"Rachel, we've got to go and get help." Hannah whispered.
"WHAT!" Rachel said. "Hannah we can't."
"If you don't I will." Hannah muttered. "I've already seen one person die, I can't see another one die."
Hannah ran into the school, anywhere, somewhere. She ran into Remus and Sirius, in a state of sheer panic and shock.
"Hannah, what's wrong?" Sirius asked concerned
"Rachel...Peter...knife." She gasped. They were the only words they could make out.
Sirius ran ahead and outside towards Rachel, whilst Remus tried to calm Hannah down.
"It's going to be alright." Remus reassured her. He took her close and stroked her hair soothingly. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
"REMUS!" A voice yelled. "YOU BETTER GET HERE NOW!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Rachel sobbed over and over. "It was accident."
Remus came running out Hannah followed him. Remus to one look at Peter then he looked at Rachel .
"You killed him... You are a murderer." He spat.
"No Remus." Hannah said. "She did it in self defence and she didn't even mean to stab him only to threaten him he was attacking us."
"Rachel what's this?" Sirius asked. Sirius was pointing at Rachel's neck.
"Oh my god, Rachel, he cut your neck!" Hannah screamed. Hannah felt sick even though there wasn't as much blood as before.

Rachel hadn't noticed up until then that he had cut her. Sirius took hold of her hand and dragged her to the hospital wing.
Remus took hold of Hannah, who was sobbing uncontrollably.
"What happened?" He asked.
"He came up behind me." Hannah sobbed. "I didn't see him until Rachel told me there was someone there, that could've been me lying there!"
"Shush, it's alright." Remus whispered. "Everything's going to be OK."
He rocked her gently in his arms.
"You're hurt!" He said, looking at her torn robes.
"I'll be OK." Hannah muttered. "Just don't let go."

…

"Sirius... I didn't mean to..." Rachel said still crying but silently now.
"I know but it was a shock seeing him there." Sirius said.
"Sirius, you're angry at me, why?" Rachel asked worried.
"You left my bed that's why!" Sirius snapped.
"Sirius, if I weren't worried I'd laugh." Rachel said.
"You dont do that." Sirius said.
"I had to go and clear my head." Rachel said, knowing he wouldn't believe her.
"Sh… Whatever, we'll talk about this later." Sirius said he pushed her into the hospital wing but didn't enter after her.
"What happened?" The nurse asked.
"Peter Pettigrew attacked me." Rachel said.
"I am calling Dumbledore after we have fixed you up." Madame Pomfrey said.
"Ok." Rachel let Madame Pomfrey fix her up. When she left she started to cry.

…

"I wasn't planning to." Remus whispered, kissing her hair. "How come you're all wet anyway?"
"I sorta fell into the lake." Hannah answered, tears still falling.
"Fell or dived?" Asked Remus chuckling.
"Sirius what are you doing?" Hannah asked confused.
"Why aren't you with Rachel?" Remus asked.
"Come on Hannah." Sirius said grabbing her and dragging her to the hospital wing.
When they arrived they saw Rachel and she wasn't alone. She was with Dumbledore and a lot of the ministry and the minister too. She was crying and rocking her self.

Hannah made to run for her but Sirius stopped her and pushed her to Madame Pomphrey and quietly explained something. Hannah didn't hear what but didn't like what she was feeling.
Hannah never stopped looking at Rachel's, now, sobbing form while she was being checked. Finally the nurse declared her fine. Then muttered.
"At least one of you are."
Hannah looked at the Nurse and then at Rachel then it clicked.
Hannah went to open her mouth to say something in Rachel's defence but Sirius and Remus both clamped a hand over her mouth and dragged her out of the hospital wing.
"Why wouldn't you let me help her?" Hannah asked letting fresh tears fall.
"You would have made it worst." They said at the same time.
Dumbledore came out looking grave.
"Sir, what's happing to Rachel?" Hannah asked. He looked at her sorrowfully.
"She's going to Azkaban." He said.

"She can't!" Hannah gasped "You can't send someone to Azkaban for acting in self defence."

"Miss Black were you there?" A woman with brown hair and red high lights with bangs pushed to the right side giving them a layered look asked. Her hair was thick and curly she had restricted it back into a pony. She was young and pretty. She had curious brown eyes.
"Yes... Who are you?" Hannah asked sharply.
"This is Ivy a'vis, she's a student who knows about the law system a lot." Remus said.
"So it was self defence?" Ivy a'vis asked.
"Yes."
"Hannah we need to chat in private, Dumbledore could you assist us please?" Ivy asked.
"Use my office." Hannah and Ivy left them. Sirius and Remus took leave of each other.
Four hours later.
"Hannah we shall need another meeting before Rachel's hearing." Ivy said. "Just so we dont miss any info out when you giving your story to the jury."
"Fine. Send me an owl or come and get me." Said Hannah going off to find Remus.

Remus and Sirius were sitting in the common room in almost utter silence. Both in shock. Remus couldn't believe that he could just lose two people like that, there was only one person who knew exactly how he felt. Hannah. She'd lost her brother and her sister within the space of a few months. One dead, one in Azkaban.
"What do we tell James?" Sirius muttered
"I hadn't thought about that." came a whispered reply
"He needs to know."
Silence. It was only broken when Hannah fell through the portrait hole.
"I'm going to bed." said Hannah.
"Are you sure that's wise?" said Sirius.
"No!" Snapped Hannah stopping before she had even started up the stairs. "Why didn't you stay with Rachel? At time when she needed you most? She had just been attacked!"

"Because, she left my bed with out waking me up." Sirius said quietly.
"What a very male thing to say!" Spat Hannah.
"Hannah, you just dont do that!" Sirius snapped.
"Sirius, are you blind? Rachel is not like other girls. She rebels against rules set down by the male species including our father!" Remus snapped.
"Well she'll have to start learning." Sirius snapped stubbornly.
"Our father said that too. She ended up hating him. She ran away from home. He took away her pleasures in life. And when she still found hope in even the slightest thing she got a smack." Remus said sadly. "I wouldn't try it or tell her too. She'll either rebel or run a mile from you and never return. My Rach is like once bitten twice shy. Meaning she wont stick around for you to realise you can't change her."
"So wise up Sirius." Hannah said. She left them after delivering that piece of advice.

Sirius stood there, stunned. He didn't know what to say. He knew he couldn't change her, but then again he didn't want to.
"You're worried and scared." Remus said.
"What?" Sirius asked.
"You heard me." He said. "I can see it in your face."
"You're right." Sirius muttered "It's because I'm afraid I might end up losing another person I care about."
Remus looked at him confused.
"Hannah lost her brother and sister in the space of a few months." Sirius explained "That drove her to try and take her own life, she just seen Peter die and Rachel is going to Azkaban, I'm scared history will repeat itself!"

…

(At Lily's house)
"Something's wrong." James muttered.
"What do you mean?" Lily asked confused.
"Remus and Sirius said they'd send an owl every two days." James said. "They haven't sent one for four days."
"That doesn't mean something's wrong." Lily whispered.
"They never break a promise." James muttered. "I know something's wrong, I can feel it."

….

Dont think about daddy... Dont think about daddy... Think happy thoughts... Daddy...
(In Rachel's memory)
"I'm sorry daddy! I'll change, I promise!" Rachel cried running from her father. "I'll be good."
"It's too late! You broke the rules! You have to be punished!" Her father yelled.
"Daddy, please!" Rachel screamed sobbing.
"Come here!" Yelled her father as Rachel ran away from him.
"I'll never do it again! I love you daddy!" Rachel cried.
"If you loved me, you would have been a better person!" Her father yelled. Rachel ran to the door but it was locked.
"Daddy, please for give me!" Rachel sobbed.

"No where to run, now." Her father taunted as he cornered her.
"No please! Daddy, please!" She tried to dodge past him but he grabbed her. Then he punched her and dropped her to the floor where he proceeded to kick her in the stomach till she spat out blood, and then he threw her against the wall. In the agony she managed to lift her head and receive the final blow.
"You're not my daughter." Then she blacked out.
(Back in the present)
Rachel sobbed and wept while a blanket of bad memory covered her and began to suffocate her.

"Rachel's upset." Remus said suddenly. "Really emotionally in pain."
"What do you mean?" Sirius demanded.
"It's like she's re-living parts of her life where she's been hurt, emotionally and physically."
"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked. "Physically?"
"I can't say." Remus muttered.
Sirius was about to say something but Hannah came into the common room.
"I can't stay up there alone." She whispered. "I look out the window and I can see your dorm window directly opposite, I close my eyes and I can see it happening. Not just this time, when it happened the first time round."
Sirius took hold of her and hugged her.
"But it's not going to be like the first time." He whispered to her. "I'm not going to let that happen again, I came too close to losing you."
"Sirius it could happen again, I know it could." Hannah sobbed.

…

"There's a Hogwarts letter coming our way." James said looking out of the window.
Lily went to the window and took the letter when the owl had arrived. She looked at the address
"James it's for you."
James took the letter with a frown. He ripped it open and read it. He looked up at Lily.
"James what's wrong?" Lily asked with concern.
"Peter's dead... Rachel killed him." James said hoarsely. Lily looked shocked.
"James we have to go back." She said. "I want to be there for Rachel-"
"Rachel's in Azkaban." James said Lily dropped what she was holding - all Hogwarts books - "She is on trail for murder."

….

"Hannah, it's going to be alright." Sirius said, but even he wasn't so sure.
"No it's not." Hannah sobbed.
"They can't give her a life sentence for using self defence." Sirius muttered.
"Yes they can." Hannah cried. "They did it with Jason, just because he tried to protect me!"
"Hannah, this isn't like what happened with Jason." Sirius whispered.
"Really!" Hannah asked. "Cause from where I'm standing, it's exactly like what happened!"
She spun on her heel, tripped and fell into Remus.
"Hannah you got to calm down." He whispered.
"How can I calm down, when history will probably end up repeating itself?"
"Sweetheart I know how you're feeling, she's my sister remember." Remus said.

…

(In Rachel's memory)

"Mummy, why does daddy always hit me? Doesn't he love me?" Rachel asked her mother.
"He loves you... You just scared him that's all honey." Her mum said softly.
"Oh he is right then... I am a bad person." Rachel said. Rachel's mum stopped what she was doing.
"You're not a bad person, Rach... Your father isn't well that's all." Her mother said. "Just stay out of his way and you'll be fine."
"Ok mum." Rachel said. She skipped out of the room and right into her father. "Sorry daddy I-"
"Why can't you be good for one second?" Her father roared.
"I am sorry daddy." Rachel said fearfully.
"Get to your room I will be up in a minute to sort you out." Her father said. He went into the kitchen and gave her mother a kiss on the cheek. "I am glad to see one of you two has learnt your lesson, honey."
Rachel knew her father had once taken his illness out on her mother now he was taking it out on her. Never Remus though.
"Rachel, when are you going to learn?" Her father snapped upon entering her room. There was no taunting this time no words just physical blows. Finally he left her in total agony. He had broken a couple of her ribs and some other bones and she was bleeding. Remus came in and stared at her in horror.
"He's gone out Rachel... I'm going to get mum... We'll get you the hospital." Remus said. He ran out her bedroom to get mum. Then Rachel passed out in agony.

…

Remus winced in pain. "What the hell is she remembering?"
"What do you mean?" Sirius and Hannah asked.
"Rachel's in emotional pain, it's like she's remembering something." Remus explained. "Something painful..." He cut off, it suddenly clicked what she was remembering. "Oh God, anything but that."
"What?"
"I know what she's remembering." Remus whispered, a vision of her lying there after her father had done what he did - flashed through his mind.

"She's being forced to re-live her most painful and traumatic experiences." Remus whispered hoarsely. "And I can't even help her this time." He could feel her pain, almost like it was happening to her all over again. Images kept flashing in his mind, he felt sick at the thought of it. Years of trying to forget were just swept away. He never quite understood why his father did what he did to Rachel and his mother - but never to him.

…

I am innocent... I am innocent... No happy thoughts just facts... I'm going to die in this place... No, I'm not, I'm innocent and that's a fact...
(In Rachel's memories)

Her father came in muttering and swearing. He was drunk. Rachel knew he was going to hurt her again. He hadn't hurt her since she had gotten better and her bones had healed which was a week ago.
Rachel ignored him and carried on doing her jigsaw. It happened so suddenly Rachel didn't know it had happened until she hit the wall. He had thrown her into a wall.
Dont let him see you cry or beg Rachel thought.
Rachel cried out when his foot connected with her hipbone. He yelled in pain.
He picked her up and threw her into the wall again and again and again until she let out a whimper of pain and blacked out.
(Back in the present)
Rachel started to sob, as she remembered waking up in hospital and seeing her mother with people in suits, what she didn't realize then it was social workers.

…

"Make it stop!" Remus screamed, tears falling. Hannah ran to him and hugged him, she could feel his shaking with fear.
"Remus what are you talking about?" Hannah asked softly. "What's she remembering?"
Remus shook his head, it was bad enough seeing it, without talking about it. Hannah could see the fear in his eyes, the pain was there too. Remus could see Hannah's own tears, forgotten memories flooding back to her. Memories she had tried so hard to forget. He held her tight in his arms.
"Why did all this have to happen?" She whispered.

(In Hannah's memory)

She could see Brian (her eldest brother), he was shouting at her, hurting her.
"Why did you kill her?" He yelled "Why couldn't you have died instead?"
"You don't mean that." Hannah sobbed
You bitch you shouldn't even be here!" He carried on shouting, slapping her across the face "YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!"
Jason ran into the room, dragging Brian off her, standing in between them.
"LEAVE HER ALONE BRI!" He roared "She's done NOTHING!"
"She killed my sister!" He retorted, his face full of malice and hate.
"She's done nothing!" Jason repeated "Just leave her alone!"
"Not until she suffers for what she did!"
He drew out his wand and pointed it at Hannah
"Cruc-"
Jason pushed him he didn't mean to push him as hard as he did, Brian fell right through the glass door, glass everywhere, blood too.
Hannah was sobbing uncontrollably, Jason held her.
"Hannah, it's OK now." He whispered "It's over, he can't hurt you anymore."
(back to the present)
"It was my fault!" Hannah gasped, pulling away from Remus "I killed her!"
"Hannah, none of that was your fault." Sirius said
"Then why did Brian blame me?"
"Is that why you thought you did it?" Sirius asked "Because he blamed you?"
"You don't know half of what happened," Hannah cried "Where do you think I got the cuts, bruises and scars from?"