Alice

It feels good to be home for spring break, to get to sleep in my old bed for a couple nights, and forget that I'm supposed to be a grown up now. Life was easier a year ago. No work, no having to find food for myself, or pay bills. It was a sweet daydream, though it's not all bad now. Carlisle helps and my parents left me enough to be okay if I budget well.

To be honest though, I didn't expect to be staying in Forks. We were supposed to be getting ready for Miami now. I got waxed, tried to lose a little weight, and everything, only for Jasper to ask me if I'd be too disappointed if he and I let Rose and Emmett go ahead without us. I couldn't tell him that I would be, because he sounded so damn depressed. When I asked how I'd get to meet Bobby, he just said he'd explain tonight when he got to Forks. So now I'm at home, kicking off my spring break and my week away from work with a series of interesting questions from Renesmee.

"Nessie, I love you, but you can't come live with us."

"But Alice, I could sleep on the couch or on the floor. I'd do chores and make straight A's in school."

"What's going on? You used to love you school."

"I don't have any friends anymore."

"Why? What happened with you, Seth, and Leah?"

"Well, Leah read my diary and found out I like Seth. She told him and they just both stopped talking to me and sitting with me at lunch. I've been having to sit with those awful girls who all have the same purse and put on lip gloss every five seconds. I don't fit in there though, so I mostly just sit and eat while they talk."

"Maybe Seth needed some time and he asked Leah to stay away so that it didn't get weird. Boys are dumb."

"Jasper's not dumb."

"Yes he is." I said with a chuckle.

"Oh is he?" Asked a voice from the doorway.

I looked and he was standing right there, right when I was throwing shade towards all men! He seemed bigger, weightier. Not exactly buff, but buffer than he'd been when I saw him last. I don't usually get to see his body that much when we video chat, and it's usually dark, so I'm not surprised that I didn't notice he'd beefed up a little. I mean, he wasn't as muscle clad as Emmett, and he was still lean, but everything was just slightly bigger and drastically defined. I could tell that even through the shirt he was wearing and I could smell his cologne. If I hadn't taken an oath to not have sexual relations with him over this break, well, I'd have to send Nessie out of the room for a little while so that Jasper and I could talk.

"Yup, he is. Nessie has boy and best friend problems." I said, filling Jasper in on the conversation.

"If Seth was talking to me I'd tell him that it was just a phase, and I don't even like him anymore, I just miss my friend."

"Well, I'll be downstairs talking to Carlisle and playing with Masen." Said Jasper, as he started backing away from the situation.

"Wait, I thought you were going to text me when you got here?"

"I changed my mind, I decided to just stop by after I dropped Emmett off."

"Well, give me twenty minutes?"

"Take all the time you need."

Jasper left out, giving me a slight wink as he did. I continued to try and convince Nessie that things were going to be okay. We ended up discussing that and her unwarranted need for a bra. She's eleven and that is usually the age that girls start wearing training bras, but she has no need. Instead of telling her she didn't have boobs, though, I tried to instead get her to see all the negative aspects of bras. I told her that they pinch, they squeeze, and they make marks on the skin that itch and burn. However, she wasn't convinced. So to satiate her I told her I have to get Esme's permission to take her shopping for one. That will be a fun conversation.

"Where are you and Jasper going?"

"Out for pizza."

"Are you going to have sex afterwards?"

I could have killed myself. A year ago she was still playing with action figures and rolling around in dirt. Now she's love sick, wanting a bra, and asking me a question that my tongue can't form an answer for.

"Nessie, what do you know about sex?"

"I know that the guy puts hi…"

"Alright, that's enough! No, Jasper and I aren't going to have sex. We have never had sex."

"Are you lying to me because you think I'm too young to hear this?"

"No, of course not. Look… I know you have questions."

"I have so many. I can't ask mom. It was awkward enough when she and dad gave me the talk and she'd probably just get angry with me. What's it like, ya know, doing it?"

I pretended I didn't hear her ask that.

"I know it's awkward, but trust me, Carlisle and Esme are two of the most understanding people ever. They won't get mad, Nessie. I swear it. I'll talk to Esme about the bra and all of this and if she says it is okay, you can ask me your questions."

"Great!"

When I left she was in my room going through my makeup bag and trying on my shoes. It's amazing how quickly she's growing up. Most of the time when I see her, I still see the little girl my mother used to make me walk to the doctor's office after her tutoring sessions. However, she's changing. She's almost taller than me now and the carefree, happy aura that once surrounded her is starting to be blown away by the winds of life. It's sad to see.

I got downstairs and Carlisle was talking to Jasper about school and exams. Masen was in the floor rolling around, and when he saw me he reached for me. I picked him up and carried him into the kitchen where Esme was sitting, reading, and having a glass of wine.

"Jasper's gotten buffer," she said, without even looking up.

"I know. Nessie is…"

"Growing up, I know. Did she talk to you? She won't talk to me. It was so different with Edward. He spilled the beans about everything, but Renesmee is so secretive."

"Well, she wants a bra and she asked me if Jasper and I were going to have sex tonight."

"Oh, well, what'd you say?"

"I didn't know what to say! Apparently, she has a whole book of questions to ask me, but I don't want to step out of bounds. I told her I'd ask you if it was okay first."

"Of course it is. Do you mind though letting me know what's going on with her? She used to tell me everything and now I can hardly get her to tell me how her day was."

"Sure I can. I'm about to go, if I can pull Jasper away from he and Carlisle's interesting conversation."

"Good luck. I'll take little cutie."

Jasper was so upset that is scared me, not because I thought he'd hurt me, but because I didn't know that he'd been holding in a secret all day that was causing him to slowly implode. Jasper admitted to me that he didn't want us to go to Miami because he'd gotten some bad news. Caius, after finding out about this whole Bobby being pregnant mess, hired an investigator who watched Bobby and collected evidence for months, then he revealed that not only was her baby not Jasper's, but it was born a month and a half ago, full term. Apparently Jasper called her and she admitted everything, even revealing that what made her ultimately go through with her plan was the fact that she knew he'd accept responsibility, no questions asked, because of what he'd just gone through with his dad. Before then she wasn't sure it would work, and so everything was aptly timed. She also said she did it because she felt she had no other choice, but I'm not buying that. That are always other choices.

He told me all of this after we had dinner, while we were sitting on a log at the lake, watching our breath turns to clouds. I didn't know what to say to him. He was fidgeting, gritting his teeth, and doing everything he could to keep it all in, but once I put my hand on his shoulder he left it all go in a shout that would probably attract a big foot if there were any in the area.

When his tantrum ended and he settled down he looked at me and gave me a sad smile.

"I almost lost you because of this."

"No you didn't. It hurt me, but you always had me."

"That's even worse. I was so stupid."

"You were upset and not thinking clearly and she took advantage of you. Can I ask something of you? I understand if you tell me no."

"What is it?"

"Tell me what really happened between you and your dad. You never did and I just… I'd like to know, if you don't mind."

"When we knew for sure he was going to jail, we went out. Me, him, and Caius. While we were out he starts drinking, drinking, drinking, and then he started talking about my mother."

"How so?"

"Saying really mean things about her. Disrespectful things and it pissed me off, but I figured it was harmless because she couldn't hear it, and it was the liquor talking. Well, he took out his phone and dialed her up and he lit in on her. I snatched it from him and tossed it to the ground, but before I did I could hear my mom shouting on the other end, and she was hysterical."

"Wow."

"That's not the worst of it. We went outside because he was getting loud and crazy, Caius took care of the bill and while he was paying my dad struck me and told me I was his greatest failure, when I got up I hit him back. I didn't mean to, I just snapped, Alice. It was before I decided firmly on Vanderbilt and I was still willing to go to the school he wanted me to go to, even though I knew my heart wasn't in it. Well… when he hit me the second time I fell again and he towered over me. His language was a little slurred, but not much. He declared that he never wanted to see my face again, and that if he could he'd take his last name away from me because I wasn't fit to bear it. Caius came out, got us both into separate cabs, and then spent a great deal of time making sure my father didn't try to financially ruin me. The day that Bobby and I… I'd been writing him for months and months, just trying to mend the wounds and get back on speaking terms with him again. His only response to those dozens and dozens of letters came that day. He said that he didn't want to hear from me again, and when he dies, I am not to step foot in his funeral, because we're strangers."

"I had no idea it was that bad. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"Alice, don't. Don't beat yourself up. I'm not, not anymore. I've just come to realize that maybe my father never really cared about me the way I cared about him. It hurts, but I have other people who care about me."

"Yes… you do. So you're not going to be a father?"

"Not anytime soon. How are you feeling?"

"Relieved."

"That is so fucked up I still can't believe you and Jasper aren't coming with us! You're so lame!" Said Rosalie.

"Trust me, we'll have plenty of fun hanging out here. Have fun at the beach for me, will you?"

"Yeah, I will."

"Emmett, you take care of her. She might be your girlfriend, but she's my wife." I said with a chuckle.

"Yes ma'am." said Emmett.

"Alright y'all, come on. If we wanna make it to the airport in time we better get going. The news said that construction is making the interstate a nightmare," said Coach Mc Carty.

I hugged Rosalie once more and then watched as Coach Mc Carty rode off into the sunrise, with the spring breakers in the back. A little twinge of jealously sprang up inside of me, but it was soon extinguished when I saw a call coming from the house.

"Hello?"

"Alice, where are you? Did you even come home last night? Will you be doing a walk of shame? Can I watch?!" Asked Nessie.

"Renesmee, yes I came home last night. No you cannot see me do a walk of shame. It's nothing to be excited about. Emphasis on the word SHAME! I was seeing Rosalie and Emmett off to the airport. Why are you up?"

"This is my me time. I get up on Saturdays to watch music videos and drink coffee."

"Coffee? Does Carlisle know?"

"Nope."

"Did you want something in particular?"

"Oh, yes. I was looking on your computer and Jasper said that he was coming over for breakfast. I didn't want you to be surprised."

"You were going through my messages?"

"I don't have anything else to do."

"Clearly. We have to find you some hobbies, little girl."

"Bye Alice."

"Bye."

Jasper

"Well, at least the problem is solved. When are you going to visit Mama? She misses you." Said Tanya.

"I know, I was planning on going for Mother's Day."

"Good. You know, baby Henry is starting to walk now. You should see him, spend a little time with your baby brother/ nephew while you're down."

"Yeah, I will."

"Be prepared, he's hellish. A lot like you as a baby."

"Then he's an angel. Does Demetri keep him in Memphis often?"

"We alternate, and you make it sound like he's babysitting and not taking care of his child. We are married and we both signed Henry's certificate. That's his father."

"I know. Speaking of which… how is our dad?"

"Don't know. Haven't talked to him since."

"Really?"

"If you aren't good enough for him, then neither am I. Did you think I'd leave you out to dry?"

"No. I didn't."

"So, you and Alice are having a romantic weekend at her apartment?"

"Don't know how romantic it'll be. She hasn't taken back her statement saying that I was cut off."

"Serves you right." Chuckled Tanya. "Why are you just sitting down? Make yourself useful."

"Sorry, cant. I'm having breakfast with the Cullens." I said, slipping towards the door.

"Do they know you're coming?"

"Nope. I know I'll be welcome, though."

"Well… aren't you just a part of the family?"

"Soon enough I will be."

"Soon enough? What the hell does that mean?" Asked Tanya, her eyes wide and painted lips pressed firmly together.

"Relax. After graduation and all that."

Tanya didn't say anything. She just rolled her eyes and kept on doing what she was doing, waving me away and shaking her head.

While on my way to the Cullens' house, I still couldn't get my mind off of yesterday's events. I guess it's going to be one of those things that I constantly replay in my head until it finally becomes such a normal thought it fades into the background. How could I have been so naive, dumb, drunk, blind… a million more negative words come to mind and when I replay it in my mind I make sure to use each and every one. When I think of everything I almost lost over this situation it makes me want to ring Bobby's neck, right after I ring my own. Why wasn't I the first one to hire an investigator? Why didn't I ever go and see her to investigate myself? How could my brother, who has never even met Bobby know that something fishy was going on when I have met her and I didn't? These aren't only the burning questions of the day, but of my life. I will never make peace with the fact that I was so gullible.

I pulled up and Carlisle was outside, with Masen trailing behind him, getting the paper.

"Morning Jasper, come on in for breakfast." Said Carlisle.

"Thanks Dr. Cullen."

I went in and the scent of pancakes hit me in the face. Everyone was around the table either sipping on orange juice or nibbling on a piece of bacon. Oh… that bacon. Esme and Alice were busy sipping coffee and looking in a gossip magazine, Nessie was trying to peak too, Jacob was sprawled out under the table (likely waiting for scraps), and Carlisle and Masen were just sitting down to what would be a shared plate between them both.

"Jasper, we weren't expecting you this morning." Said Esme with a warm smile. "Here, pull up a chair. I'll get you a plate."

"No, you don't have to…"

"We insist." Said Carlisle. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Isn't that right Masen?"

Masen laughed, clapping his hands in agreement while oatmeal slid down his chin and onto his overalls.

"Where are you and Alice going today?" Asked Renesmee.

"Well, I haven't gotten to see Edward, and since they won't be coming down here I thought I might go to Memphis for the night. Hang out with them."

"Edward's working." Said Alice.

"Well actually, he got someone to cover for him this week. It seems a certain someone convinced him and Bella that they should relax over spring break. It won't be half as fun without you and Bella will get lonely."

"Of course she'll go. I can help her pick out her outfits!" Said Renesmee, skittering off upstairs to rummage through Alice's luggage.

"Fine, I'll go. But it will have to be tonight. Renesmee and I have plans to get our nails done and have coffee like proper ladies today."

"Tonight it is."

I love knowing what Alice wanted to say. I knew just from looking at her that she wanted to fuss about driving all the way here, just to have to go back to Memphis. What I didn't count on was Renesmee deciding for Alice. She's almost taller than Alice now, which isn't really that big of an accomplishment, now that I think about it.

While I want to go to Memphis to see Edward and Bella, I also want the car time with Alice. I want us to be back on track, and what better time is there to have that conversation than when I'm traveling 85 miles per hour and she can't run away? At least I hope she doesn't try. We'll see.

So, I know it's been a really long time since I've updated, and I'm sorry. I just kind of lost my mojo and haven't been writing anything at all. I thank everyone who still looked for updates and I especially thank those who have PM'd me to make sure I haven't given up and that I'm still in the land of the living! (DeltaGirl74 and Lil-Ruty)