Gaara

Age 8

I kept myself scrunched as small as I could get while I hovered over the street on the rooftop of my neighbors home. I'm sure they wouldn't want me there, but to be honest, I would just kill them if they interfered. It wasn't my fault their house was at a crossroads where many people tended to walk, even at this late hour. I just needed to wait a while longer for the streets to clear, then when there was someone alone...

I was excited for tonight. I didn't always go hunting in my own neighborhood, the prey in this area was more feisty than most other areas I found. Maybe because this area was made mostly of ninja, where the districts further in until one reached the center tended to have more regular prey. I was in the mood to fight. I wanted them to think they could survive me. I wanted them to underestimate my abilities. I needed blood. They tried again today, to kill me. It didn't work. It never works. It will never work. I suppressed the chuckle which tried to rise in my throat. I left part of them behind. A leg I think. Part of one. I couldn't remember, I wasn't paying attention, not close. It didn't matter. There would be more, but maybe the piece of leg would serve as a repellant for a while. Like I seen in the book at home of Yashamaru's, where people would hang the tail of something up to keep them away as an example.

I sneered. When I was able to get strong enough, I would hang the heads of my family on the outsides of this place. I looked up at the towers of sandstone and smiled. A wide, toothy smile. Yes. This place is surrounded entirely by sand, it would be easy for me. All I would have to do is work at breaking it down. Bit by bit I would create the perfect weapon. I could bury the entire village in one swoop, then crush them.

I wasn't strong enough for such a task yet. Too bad. It would be fun to make them beg. My siblings. No Gaara, don't hurt us. No Gaara, please I don't want to die. No Gaara... I couldn't stop the laugh from escaping my lips this time and one of the passersby looked up at me. I narrowed my eyes at the vermin and it scampered away from me.

Pathetic.

At least the creature knew it's place within the food chain around here. There was nobody who could end me. No, it would be me, ending them. Watching as the blood flowed out from their bodies. I...

Blood, I need blood. Feed mother. I'm hungry, won't you be a good boy and help me? Mother loves you...

My hand grasped at my hair as a tremble crept up through my body. Mother. "Yes mother. Soon, soon I shall feed you. Can't I play with my food first? Wouldn't it be fun? Shall I make it scream?"

Mmm, I love when they scream. Let's make them scream. Then I want blood. Give me blood? So warm.

"Yes, I want it too, Mother. Soon, I will bathe in blood and feed you. It will be delicious mother, I will give you so much blood."

Gaara, such a good boy, feed mother. I want blood. So much blood. Feed me, Gaara? For Mother?

Yes, I need blood. For mother. Mother loves me, I need to give her blood. This place would take too long. Maybe the alley behind this house? Yes, maybe I could get someone in there, and I could feed mother before she became angry. It hurt whenever she became angry, inside my head. The roar was enormous, I couldn't stand it, the thing inside me. She would let it out if I didn't feed her. She would let me fall asleep and the thing inside of me would come back out. I hate the thing. The Shukaku. It would end me as well if it had the chance to, and I would never let such a thing happen. Never. Didn't I deserve life? Didn't I deserve to exist? I needed the blood to confirm it. I needed to hear them scream to ensure I was alive myself.

I jumped down into the alley and pressed myself against the wall. My heart beat wildly in my chest. It was always exciting just before a kill. I neared the edge and pressed my fingers to my eye. Soon, I could see myself and I moved the small ball of seeing eye sand towards the edge. Now, I would wait. It didn't take long for someone alone to wander near. They were near the walls, near the alley and I watched from around the corner, gathering my sand, ready to strike. Step. Step. Step. Inches closer. Feet closer. The sand rose in tendrils up the wall. I raised my hand and...

With a swift flick of my wrist I lashed out. First, I grabbed the creature by the mouth, keeping it from making a sound while I carried it into the empty alley. It struggled against me, the muffled screams making me only more hungry for blood. Kill. I needed to kill this thing. "Come on, scream for me, let me hear you die, hmm?"

I released the thing's mouth and shoved a small spike of sand into it's side. A long, pained scream came from it. I let the spike soak in the blood it released with the hole I made. "Please, please, I-"

I laughed and drove another spike into it's body. "No, I want you to scream. Begging will only make it drag out more. Do you want to live longer? Of course. Yes. I want you to scream. Scream." I pulled some sand together and wrapped it around their legs. Then, with a small squeeze, I crushed them. "Yes. Give me your blood. See, Mother? Do you feel it? It's so warm. So very warm." I smiled at my screaming prey. "It isn't enough. We need more. Give us more." I wrapped the rest of it up in sand and with a small motion, it was gone. Blood seeped out of my sand and fell to the ground. I rushed it back to me. "Feel it? So warm."

More. I need more. Give me more. You spilled some, not all of it's blood is mine.

"More." I looked back out to the street. There would be someone else to pass by. There had to be. The street outside had become bare while I killed my last victim. The screams probably bled out into the main street, I wasn't careful enough. I scoffed. If I were to get someone new, I would need to move. I was about to jump back up on the roof when I heard footsteps. I smiled as I looked back out to the street. Someone was running down the street. How stupid of them. I readied my sand, ready for their pace. This time, I wasn't going to have any pretenses of hiding. I would just reach out and grab them. I didn't care if anyone could see me while I did. It didn't take long for them to get close enough for me to grab them. I snaked the sand around their waist and threw it into the alley. I stood, arms crossed, my back as straight as I could manage. "Look a new play thing wandered into my trap."

The thing narrowed it's eyes. "Gaara isn't it? Never seen you with my own eyes." Boy. Teenager I think.

I wrapped my sand around him and squeezed. Only a little. Fear. I wanted him to feel the fear. I needed him to scream, I needed him to beg me to-

"Hey freak, how about you stop playing with that sand of yours and kill me like ninja." Freak.

"What did you say?"

He chuckled. "Freak, 'cause that's what you are. A freak."

I sent a spike of sand through his shoulder, but there was no sound. I frowned. I did it again, yet there was still nothing. "Scream! Why won't you scream?"

He laughed. He dared laugh at me.

"Shut up!" I slammed him against the wall, but it only made him laugh harder. "I said shut up." Slam. Slam. Soon, he was still. Come on, stop playing and feed Mother. He was still alive. I moved the sand around him and... I couldn't. No. It wasn't right. He wasn't screaming, he wasn't begging. Why wasn't he begging? They always did one or the other. Both. But... "Not yet. I need to play more with him." I knelt down next to him and poked him with a stick I made out of my sand. He didn't move. It wouldn't be any fun if I just killed him without him being awake to feel it, now would it? I sighed. There was no way around it. I was taking dinner home with me tonight.

.*. .*. .*.

Age 35

I crumpled the photograph inside of my hands. "Get out." I felt my entire body start to tremble and I felt thankful I'd already put Kimi into her bassinet. My heart began to race as memories flooded into my mind. Him.

"What? Lord Kazekage, I-"

I didn't want to listen to her voice, her all too familiar face, her- I grabbed her with my sand, opened the door from where I sat and tossed her out of my door. If she didn't land on her feet, it was not my problem. Her own fault. She shouldn't have shown me this. She should not have been here. She should never have gone into the house. I breathed deep through my nose. Calm down. I knew there would be a day I might have to face someone from my past, but this? I stared at the balled photo in my hand. I never thought I would ever find his people. His precious things. He never told me his name, and I removed the ability for him to tell me before I could ever bring myself to care. Tomorrow, after the demolition, there was something else I should do. I looked over to my wife and made my way over to her. I grabbed her hand and placed the photo in her unmoving palm. "Naruto, if you knew everything about my past, would you still want to be near me? I can't help but wonder." I closed her fingers around the photo. "There... There is one person. One person I could ask. Do you think she will hate me if I do? Would it matter? Do you think she will expose me? Or... Or will she feels she owes you enough to do as I ask?" Why was I talking to her in questions when I knew she wouldn't respond to me?

I kissed her hand and moved to my desk. I took a piece of stationary out and began a letter. It was time to ask for help beyond the capabilities of Suna, and there was only one other I knew who could outmatch Kimiko in healing. I bit the inside of my cheek.

For Naruto. For the sake of my relationship with my son, and my daughter. I needed to do this.

Sakura,

When my wife wakes, I would like you to come to Suna for an examination since you are familiar with her unique composition. I also have another favor to ask, but in strict confidence which I will reveal once you arrive in Suna. It is a severe case, one which has had no resolve in nearly thirty years. I appreciate if you decide to help, in any way possible.

Regards,

I stared at the paper. How should I sign this? In a way, Sakura was a friend. She was close to my wife, very close. Should I give my title, or should I sign with my name? I groaned and ended it with nothing. I folded the paper, knowing the person sending it would be named on the outside package I had it delivered in. It wasn't an overly important matter, but a personal one. One I've kept hidden from almost everyone.

Even Temari and Kankuro didn't know about this. I swallowed as I rolled up the paper and put it into a small tube. Unforgivable. What I did to him was unforgivable. I held onto the little tube as tight as I could. If I sent this, it would reveal my secret. The one even worse than my house. The full proof of my monstrous childhood. Was I willing to give up this secret in order to move forward?

This was something I should have asked her to do years ago, honestly. Even now, I am too selfish for my own good. If the girl hadn't brought the picture, if she hadn't reminded me of him, he likely would rot away in the room I housed him in until his body gave out entirely. I sighed. This was the right thing. I stood up and left my room, still holding onto the little tube in a death grip. Now or never. I descended the stairs to the kitchen. I ignored the other people in the room and locked eyes with Kankuro. "Kankuro, send this to Sakura as soon as possible. I am asking her to come when Naruto wakes up."

"Isn't that the Hokage's name?" The innocent voice penetrated through.

I winced. Yumi was still here? Hadn't I told her to leave? "I thought I told you to get out."

She frowned at me. "I thought you meant from the room."

I groaned and looked around the room to see if Shinki was also there, but it was only Kankuro, Yumi and my nephew.

"Hey Uncle Gaara, where did you pick this one up?" Shikadai tossed his thumb over his shoulder towards Yumi and I used my sand to undo his hairband. He screeched and I smirked at him. He grabbed at his hair and glared at me. "Why are you always so weird?" He turned and headed up the stairs, probably to get himself something to tie his hair back with.

"Nice save, but not the best way to get on better terms with him, you know." He reached over and took the little tube from me.

I gave a small shrug and slumped into one of the chairs. "He's preferred you since he started to go to school anyway."

He twirled the message around in his hand. "Probably because you smothered him anytime you were around."

I tilted my head at him. "He is my nephew. Temari made him. Is it wrong of me to ask of all of his developments while I do not see him?"

"And this is why he avoids you." He raised a hand. "Anyway, see ya. I'll go deliver this and warn the council the demolition is set for tomorrow. Might be a few hours."

I gave him a nod and turned my attention to the girl sitting across from me after he disappeared out the door.

"I can't leave without the picture."

I stared at her. "The picture is mine now, you will have to."

"What did you do with it?"

I didn't answer her and averted my eyes. Now I knew the connection, I couldn't see anything but the boy in her. "You look like your uncle."

She hummed. "I don't think so." There was a moment of silence. "You remember him then?"

"Does it matter to you?"

"Yes."

I looked back to her and into her eyes, searching for something. What, I wasn't sure on. Her eyes were similar to his. Mostly brown, but with flecks of green mixed in. Fearless. Like him. I felt sick. I shifted my eyes so I didn't have to look at her anymore. I gave a small hum. Let her take it how she will, I didn't care. "What was his name?" My voice was low, barely over a whisper. I didn't want to ask. I had to ask. I needed to know. Something to move him away from my nameless first.

She scoffed. "Does it matter to you?"

I stiffened. I didn't need to deal with this. I felt the urge to just swallow her whole, devour her in my sand. Bleed out her life, make her part of my sand. There was nobody here. I could do it. Nobody would be the wiser. A shiver run down my spine. I let the desire show on my face. This thing which plagued me. This need. This desire to feel blood, mix it in with my sand and encase myself in it. It never went away.

In a way, I never want it to. There is something very wrong with me.

The chair she was sitting in clattered to the floor. "Right. I should leave." She fled down the stairs and I made no move to stop her. I brought my hand to my face and pushed my lips back down. Smile. For me, a wide smile meant something beyond happy. It was madness, something I never wanted to indulge in again. I leaned back and looked up to the ceiling. I studied the plain white texture and remembered. Remembered the things I wanted so desperately to forget.

.*. .*. .*.

Age 8

I stared at him. He sat on my couch, glaring at me. He hadn't spoken a word since he woke, and I debated on how to kill him. I never brought anyone home with me before, so what should I do? I rarely talked to anyone, let alone had a guest in my home. Not since- Please die. Uncle's voice echoed in my head as I grit my teeth and tossed him from the couch. I hate this room. This room, we would play games. He would read me stories and...

I hadn't listened to a story in some time. I narrowed my eyes at him. Maybe I wouldn't kill him just yet. "Can you read?"

His eyes widened at my question. "Well, yeah. Can't you?"

I growled at him. Kill him. I should kill him. "Don't ask me questions." I grabbed hold of him and started to move him up the stairs with sand. "Talk, only when I say to talk. Do what I ask, and maybe I will let you live a few days."

"That seems fulfilling."

I punched some of the sand encasing him through his leg. The only sound he made was a quiet, deep inhale. No scream, no cries. Nothing. I dislike this person. Once to the top of the stairs, I tossed him in the room across from mine. Uncle's room, when he stayed. "Yashamaru..." I grabbed at my chest as the deep painful throb in my heart started. I didn't want to remember it. I hate him. I didn't need anything but me, why was this person here? I tossed him again, this time onto the bed and held him down with sand bindings. I walked to the bookshelf in the room and tossed the thing at him. I stood next to the bed. "Read it. Out loud."

He frowned at me, but complied. The words were oddly soothing, though I didn't really pay attention. What was I going to do with this boy? I had no idea...

.*. .*. .*.

Age 35

I sat in a chair near my sister's bed. There was an annoying man sleeping next to her, but I was relieved I had come in when they were already sleeping. There was only a few more hours before I woke everyone up and kidnapped Kankuro to demolish my old residence. After the girl left, and I was alone, I scouted the perfect place to take the place for the destruction of it. I sighed and leaned back into the chair. I was bored. There still was no change in Naruto. I had spent the past month sitting next to her bed, willing her to wake up, and it was beginning to depress me nothing was changing at all. I should be happy she was at least alive. Alive.

The man next to Temari shifted and draped his arm over her waist. I gently moved the arm off of her. Not in my house, not even in his sleep would I let him take advantage. I stood and paced the floor. It was still hard for me to fully comprehend it. Relationships. I had worked hard on building them with my family, and still I failed miserably at every aspect of it. Then, enter Naruto. My best friend turned beautiful wife, I had no idea how I was going to handle it. She would come to hate me over time, I knew it. I'm not exactly an easy person to be around. I never sleep, I work constantly and I don't handle... Everything human well.

It was no use being here. Why was I here anyway? I left my sister's room in a huff. Back up the stairs. So many stairs. I froze midway. I gripped the banister. A house. Could I build a house in place of the house which once stood there? It was still my property, and the sideways glances never bother me. I deserve them, especially there. Could I build a nice, large family home in place of the abomination I was about to tear down? I could dig my tunnel in secret, to the place within the cliffs.

Could I raise a family there? Among those people who I once tortured with my presence? Would they be safe there? I could always hire a few guards to ensure their safety when I wasn't around... How many children could I fill those walls with? Once I was able to wake up my wife, and spread her... Oh dang. My stomach twisted and I crumpled to my knees as indecent images of my wife flooded my mind. This would never do. Coma. Naruto is in a coma, stop being so strange, Gaara. I felt my shoulders tense. Everyone was asleep, so I would be able to hide this well. Hide...

Hide this painful reaction. My groin began to throb. Self medication. I could... I could do this, couldn't I? The sand on my face cracked, traveling down my neck as I went into my room, then my private bath. I locked the door behind me. Was I really going to be doing this? It's unnatural. This annoying feeling was unnatural. "Vulgar." I spoke the word to myself as I forced the sand away from my tender areas. I sunk down to the floor and removed the sand from my hands. I let out a shaky breath and cleared my mind. Inside my mind, I pictured Naruto behind me on the bed, telling me what to do.

The ghost of her voice returned, telling me to grab hold of myself and... I followed, a gasp, an arch of my back as a sharp, intense sensation shocked through my body at the touch. Massage it, like she said, and...

My body shuddered, my mind went blank and I fought to catch my breath. The skin beneath my fingers twitched and began to soften. I released myself and as my mind began to clear I noticed a strange substance on the floor. My body produced this while I... While I... I touched it and grimaced at the feel. Strange. I used my sand to wipe away the liquid my body released from me, starting with my fingers. What was this stuff? What just happened? Did this stuff secrete from my body every time I felt like this?

Disgusting. Vulgar. I swallowed. Maybe I should read more on this whole 'sex' situation. Once I married her, I wanted no surprises when it came to my own body. My lack of knowledge was embarrassing, especially now my body decided to work in such a way. I carefully encased myself back in sand, wincing slightly at the pressure on my groin. My legs felt a little wobbly as I stood, opened the door and looked back to my Naruto. A warmth flooded my chest as I looked at her still form. I went to her, grabbed her hand. I flinched as I heard a rustle within her hand and plucked the offensive thing back out of it. I tossed it to the trash, then caught it with my sand as it reached it's destination.

No. I should remember. It was better to remember, wasn't it? I brought the picture back to me, and carefully uncrumpled it. Wait. The back. In messy handwriting was a name. Nobuo, age 11 I crumpled the thing back up. Nobuo? He was only eleven when I... No. I shouldn't think about it. If you're going to kill me, shouldn't you learn to read yourself? I was thinking about it. I groaned. So many years. I had stolen so many things from him, but time is the one thing I would never be able to fix, even if I were able to fix everything else. I encased the photo in sand and destroyed it. "Nobuo." Wouldn't he be surprised I learned his name, after so many years?

.*. .*. .*.

Age 9

"What is this letter? The one with the loops?" I maneuvered the sand to pierce the girl's abdomen who was tied to the guest bed and shivered with the thrill of her scream.

"Must you do that while learning to read? It's disturbing." He looked bored with it now. The screams of my victims were common now, something even he had become used to. He still wouldn't look at them unless I forced him to watch. His expression of horrified disgust as I murdered another in front of him the most reaction I would ever seem to get out of him. It annoyed me, so I kept him alive. Also, I hadn't fully grasped everything I needed to read on my own yet.

I twisted the sand inside of the girl. "Mmm, she screams so well, don't you think?"

"How are you going to learn anything when you are distracted?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I did not give you permission to talk to me other than teaching me." I used my sand to put pressure on his broken leg to emphasize my meaning.

"Then try to learn." He glared at me. Annoying.

"You annoy me. We will continue tomorrow."

He groaned. I knew he was ready to die, but because of his willingness to die, I wouldn't let him. Not yet. No, instead... I stood and neared the whimpering girl. "Don't-" He clasped his hands over his mouth the moment it came out.

I looked over my shoulder at him. Yes. This was the only way to torture this victim. "Want to watch me play?"

His eyes widened as I grabbed the barbed chains from the wall. Tools. They were so much more brutal than my sand, required less concentration and always gave me the screams I so craved.

I leaned in next to the girl's ear. "You should thank your friend here, I am going to enjoy removing your legs today." I ignored her whimpering pleas, her screams as I wrapped the chains around her thighs. "I wonder, how long it will take to remove them with these? I've never tried before. I want to play." With this I gripped the chains with my sand and rocked them on her body, laughing as her screams echoed within the room. "Yes, prove my existence more, give me your life, give it all to me."

.*. .*. . .*.

Age 35

Girl. Boy. Man. Woman. After a while I didn't even take note of even this. In a way, Nobuo created the monster within the house, but I would never hold him responsible. It was because of him I went so far. I wanted to see him suffer, and he never reacted to my tortures, but would react to what I did to others. It was the only way to get a reaction out of him. The only way. How long had I kept him there? How many deaths had he been witness to? I looked out the window, grateful for the morning sun. It was time. Time to erase this madness.

My body felt stiff as I rose from my chair and placed little Kimi back into her bassinet. I froze. How long had I been holding her? Where has my mind been? This has been a long night. Week. Month. Year. Yes, a long year. This all started less than a year ago, it was hard to believe. I stalled at my son's room. Shinki. Would he talk to me? I bit the inside of my cheek and rapped the back of my knuckles on his door. Nothing. "Shinki?" I knocked again.

The door creaked open. I pushed it to see inside and noticed he was in the room, but was not facing the door. Dark sand retracted to him from the door.

I swallowed. "I will be leaving, will you watch Kimi?"

He only shifted in response.

I walked up behind him. I hesitated my hand over his shoulder as I contemplated how to fix this. I never lied about my past, but I never explained it either. I never wanted him to know the side of me the world feared. The side I worked so hard at burying in the past, never to be seen again. The side I knew would be fighting for precedence for the rest of my life.

"Don't."

I retracted my hand and took a step back.

"You shouldn't be in here, Lord Kazekage. Shouldn't you be out hiding things about yourself right now? Isn't it what you are about to do? Destroy that place?" He looked over his shoulder. His eyes were cold and it made my heart hurt.

I grabbed the fabric there, over my chest and averted my eyes. I turned from him. I shouldn't have come. I should have let him be. I stiffened my back and walked out of the room, then down the hall, down the stairs and out of the door. I gathered the sand beneath my feet and propelled myself forward, to my house. I didn't think the entire way. I just let the sand carry me. Then, I was face to face with the thing which plagued me so. This house. These memories. The screams which echoed through my mind. I gathered the sand I had prepared in the night and encased the place. I lifted it off of it's foundation and moved it beyond the protective walls of Suna, to the desert. To the place all this would fade away into nothing more than grains of sand and memory. I clenched my fist, and with a great booming sound of crushed wood, the building become nothing more than splinters of wood and red sand. I waved my arm and crushed it further into the desert floor, breaking it down further, scattering what remained of the place. Then again. And again.

Crash.

Crash.

Waves of sand tore the memories apart, the evidence, what once had been my corrupted existence. I kept at it, even after everything was gone, I kept the sand crashing in on itself, mixing it up with the things around. It wasn't enough. It would never be gone. Not these memories. Not this feeling of remorse. Not this guilt. It would never go away, it would never be gone. My fault. Everything was my fault.

I screamed and fell to the sand beneath me, landing in the cleared landscape I had created. I wrapped my arms around myself and doubled over. I was alone. I deserved to be alone. I shouldn't be allowed happiness, but why would fate harm Naruto? Was it because she loved me? Was Naruto not allowed happiness because I...

I sobbed, letting my tears soak the miniscule remnants of my childhood.

Tears, to mix with the blood, the ground down pieces of body.

Maybe there was hope for me after all.

To feel, to cry, over those I did not know.

They deserved more.

More than this.

Just... More.

Author's Note

Hey everyone! I know, I know, Naruto is still out like a light. Don't worry, she will wake up eventually, she won't be in a coma for the rest of the series, I promise (It wouldn't exactly be a romance if this was the case, would it now? At least, not a healthy one...) Also, family drama! Why do I like torturing these two so much? I'm terrible. Thank you for reading! I hoped you liked the glimpse into Gaara's childhood as much as I liked writing it. I really want to get to the point where Naruto wakes up, so I might just alter my chapters between Inheritants and this just so I can get to it faster lol.

As always, reviews/comments serve to inspire. 3