July 1993

Chandler's hand shook as he read the note. It had been a fantastic July 4th weekend. He had gone with Phoebe, Monica and Ross up to Long Island to spend the weekend. He had Phoebe drive as ever since her birthday five months earlier when he had gone with Phoebe to visit her step father in prison and Phoebe had admitted to Chandler that she had always wanted to learn to drive, he had taken it upon himself to do teach her. Of course, there had been jokes from Ross about how Chandler had driven into a house, but he felt like quite the expert teacher when Phoebe had driven them all safely to Long Island. He was also happy Ross was there, deciding to tag along after Carol decided to spend the holiday weekend with her friend, Susan. This seemed strange, but Chandler was glad they were together. They drank, went jet skiing, lay out. It just seemed like the perfect weekend and now there he was, staring at a note from Kip saying he had moved out. When Chandler walked into Kip's room, sure enough it was empty. Chandler and Kip had not really been on the best of terms ever since Kip and Monica had broken up. Chandler knew Kip had begun dating a girl about a month after and slowly began spending more and more time at her place, but now Kip was gone and Chandler felt let down. Kip had not even said goodbye. He immediately recalled that memory of his dad doing the same thing all those years ago, leaving without saying goodbye. He truly hated that, wishing he wasn't the type that people could easily leave without saying goodbye to. It's why he preferred the isolation, preferred sitting alone and watching movies. No one would leave if he was alone.

"Hey, Chandler...we're going downstairs for a drink. You wanna come?" Monica asked as she walked through the door. Chandler turned to look at her.

"Kip moved out."

"What?"

Chandler handed Monica the note and walked towards his couch and sat down. He turned on the television and watched out of the corner of his eye as Monica walked into Kip's room and back out.

"When did he move out?" Monica asked.

"This weekend. While we were away. Never even bothered saying goodbye. Must be taking lessons from my dad."

Monica let out a snort and sat next to him. He kept staring at the television. Monica grabbed the remote and turned it off. She stared at him.

"Hey, you are more than capable of doing the exact same thing...leaving or cutting yourself off without saying a word," Monica said.

"I am not."

"Would you have shown up at Ross' wedding if I hadn't come and gotten you? You cut yourself off from me and Ross without saying goodbye. We had to come get you."

"Really not in the mood," Chandler said.

"You never are. You haven't been friends with Kip in a long time. You made the decision to end that friendship. He didn't have to say to goodbye to you. You weren't friends anymore," Monica said.

"Because he hurt you."

"That's not the reason and you know it. The reason you stopped being friends with Kip was because he was dating me and now, you need to get a new roommate because if you don't...you're probably gonna become a hermit again and you know, go to work, come home and not talk to me or Pheebs...and I would hate that and so would Phoebe. She adores you and I've never told her how easily you can cut yourself off from people who adore you," Monica said.

"I wouldn't do that."

"Yes, you would...'cause you have. You don't get it. I see right through you Bing."

Chandler let out a sigh. She was right. She was always right.

"I did fuck up that friendship. My friendship with Kip."

"Yeah...and you keep trying to fuck up your friendship with me and I'm not having it, buddy," Monica said as she gently ran her fingers through his hair. He smiled as he looked at her.

"Maybe I can get a roommate."

"You should...and you will," Monica said.

"Maybe I should get a hot roommate...like a model...a bikini model-"

"No," Monica said.

"No?" Chandler asked, smiling at her.

"You shouldn't have a female roommate," Monica said.

"Why not?"

"'Cause you shouldn't."

"'Why not?" Chandler asked.

"'Cause...you're a guy and you know...no girl would like this apartment-"

"What if I got like a sexy co-ed?"

"No."

"A porn star?"

"No."

"Two lesbians and a puppy?" Chandler asked, grinning at her. He loved playing with her, making her nostrils flair and getting her all worked up. She kept letting out these short, agitated breaths.

"No."

"What if the two lesbians had a baby? Awww...wouldn't that be cute? And what if they let you babysit?" Chandler said. Monica was getting more and more irritated as she gently smacked him. Chandler started laughing.

"I-I-you-no," Monica said.

"Oh and the lesbians could also be moonlighting as strippers, you know to pay their way through college...and raise their baby. I would watch that," Chandler said.

"You know, fine...get two lesbian roommates...it'll just be another example of two more women you don't have a shot in hell of getting," Monica grinned. Chandler smiled as well as he nodded his head and looked at her.

"Well played, Geller. Well played," Chandler said.

"Thank you. Now, you will you come with us and drink."

"Yes," Chandler said as Monica stood up and reached for his hand. Chandler grabbed it and Monica gently pulled him up. He wrapped his arm around her and she wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked towards the door.

"Will you get a male roommate?" Monica asked.

"Yes."

"Make sure he's hot."

"No," Chandler said.

Monica laughed as she stood on her toes to plant a kiss on Chandler's cheek. They walked out the door and into Monica and Phoebe's apartment. The trio went downstairs to get drinks and discuss Kip's departure. It did kind of upset Chandler. Kip had been his best friend at one point. He had liked Kip more than he had liked Ross at first...but maybe the next roommate would be better. He could only hope.

It was a few days later when Chandler had gone with Phoebe so she could take her Driver's Test. As he sat there waiting, he looked around and remembered his sixteenth birthday when he took the test and walked out to find his mother making out with some dude. He looked down at the seat he was sitting on and prayed that he wasn't sitting in that exact spot, just to be sure though, he moved one over and looked down at his yellow legal note pad where he was writing his roommate ad. Every time he tried though, he just could not concentrate. He kept thinking about Phoebe. When he had given her that money, there was no way for him to know what would happen. She had truly taken advantage of the opportunity which he thought was amazing and when she came back from the test, she was grinning. Chandler stood up as she walked towards him

"You did it?" Chandler asked as Phoebe ran up to him, grinning, holding up a piece of paper.

"I did, I got my license. The took off points for a few rough stops."

Chandler nodded. Phoebe was the worst stopper in the world. He had tried so hard to get her to learn to stop gently, but unfortunately, she liked the quick stop.

"Yeah...it's like an egg."

"I didn't drive into any houses," Phoebe grinned.

"Good for you," Chandler said. That had been a recurring joke all July 4th weekend. After Ross learned that Chandler was teaching Phoebe how to drive, he kept exclaiming that Chandler had killed Sally by driving her into a house. Chandler felt it was just still too soon.

"I know. I have to go take my picture and then we can go for lunch?"

"Perfect."

Chandler watched as Phoebe ran off to the counter and he walked outside. He felt so proud and for the first time ever in his life, he actually thought that he would make a terrific father. He shook his head. That was a bizarre thought. He did not want to have children. I mean, helping Phoebe was one thing but she was an adult. Raising a child? He knew for a fact that was the one thing he never wanted to do. He was thrilled when Phoebe finally appeared to save him from these bizarre thoughts of having children. Phoebe held out a piece of paper which Chandler took from her and began reading.

"Phoebe Buffay. Blonde hair, brown eyes...120 pounds-"

"I don't know if that's right. I haven't weighed myself since I worked at the Y."

"Awww...and 5"8...shrimp," Chandler smirked.

"Hey, now."

"Looks good...so now, you do realize, you are a fully functioning adult. You now have a bank account, a job, a home, a phone number, a license...although, we do live in New York but whatever, it's good to have, I taught you all the drinking games, I think you're up to date on pop culture...you are a grown up,"

"I am, I am," Phoebe said.

"I think my job here is done," Chandler said.

"Never," Phoebe said. "Thank you, Chandler. Just thank you...for everything. For being there and for...I don't know what I'd be doing if...I'd still be in school, I probably would still be living in Port Authority. You've done so much for me and I know you don't want me to repay you...but I want to do something."

"I keep saying you don't have to. It's fine. I'm glad I could help you," Chandler said. He always felt guilty when Phoebe would start thanking him for everything. The real reason for helping her in the first place had nothing to do with Phoebe. He never wanted to admit to that though.

"Well, maybe next year for your quarter of a century birthday we could do something."

"The only thing I ask is no surprise party." Chandler said.

"No surprise parties?"

"When I was nine, my parents threw me a surprise birthday-"

"That's nice."

"Would have been had they invited kids from my class. My father brought his dancers and lovers and put on a show and my mother had sex with five of the dancers. It wasn't really a kid friendly party. I did have my first tequila shot. I got to see an orgy and my mother introduced me to porn."

"Wow...unbelievable," Phoebe said.

And came the year after that, Chandler began thinking back...his tenth when Rick had given him the birthday gift he never wanted. He could still see the face of Rick. He knew the lines in Rick's face, the smell of his clothes. Chandler shook his head.

"Come on, let's go...lunch," Chandler said as he tossed the keys to Phoebe who drove out of the DMV, this time as a newly licensed driver.

As they sat in a restaurant near the DMV, Chandler was filling out a roommate application. Phoebe was helping. Chandler had never filled out a roommate application and wasn't sure what he was supposed to put.

"Alright, someone nice-"

"I always think that's dumb to put in an ad. Of course, you want someone nice. Are you gonna say, 'oh I want an asshole'." Phoebe said.

"True...I can't believe Kip didn't say goodbye though. He left a note. He was my best friend. I know I probably fucked up our friendship but...he was still my friend. He lived in our suite in college. Ross and I were in one room and Kip and his roommate, Josh lived in the room next to us. Josh was crazy. I remember him...he never washed his sheets and his sheets became yellower as the months went on and they smelled."

"He peed?"

"Yep...in his bed. When he had to go to the bathroom and didn't feel like getting out of bed, he just went."

"Ewwww, that's gross. Even when I was living in the junkyard, if I had to go to the bathroom, I'd go behind something so no one saw me. We'd also steal toilet paper," Phoebe said.

"You did?" Chandler asked, grinning.

"Yep, we'd go into public restrooms or restrooms at restaurants and just take their rolls of toilet paper. I mean, we figured...just cause we were homeless, didn't mean we couldn't be sanitary."

"That's funny...yeah, Kip, Ross and I hated this guy. I mean, I'd like to think I'm pretty laid back with like a lot of things...but you know, chewing with your mouth open, watching television till five in the morning with the volume turned all the way up...he was awful. He was rude too. So the three of us bonded and Josh eventually left and Kip got this other roommate whom we called, Gandolf because he loved to party and he was a party wizard and we had a lot of fun."

"Was it his idea for you to flash the tourists?" Phoebe asked.

"He dared me. Ross left that part out. Kip, Ross and Gandolf each bet me two hundred bucks each to do that...and I don't think they ever paid me. Kip was the one who told me that he had a spare room," Chandler said although he knew that was a bit of a lie. Monica had forced him into taking that room, but he had never told Phoebe about how he tried to cut Ross and Monica out of his life and he knew Monica hadn't either, "He was also the first and only person besides you whom I told about how I...never mind."

"About how you what?"

"Like...liked Monica," Chandler said, picking up his pen and twirling it around his fingers.

"You told him?"

"Yeah."

"And then he dated her?" Phoebe asked.

"Yep. Nice, right?" Chandler asked, knowing he was leaving out a lot of vital information to this story. A lot of what had happened in college, but he wanted to look good in this story and he wanted Phoebe to side with him.

"Why don't you go after her now?" Phoebe asked.

"She doesn't like me like that. I do like her. She's...perfect. I mean, I know she's insane and is probably very tough to live with. I've heard it from you and I've heard it from Ross. She is not easy...but she's still perfect."

"Perhaps you should put in the ad, 'must not date the girl who lives across the hall?'"

"Maybe...do you think she'll ever like me like that?"

"I don't know. I know she thinks you're hilarious and sweet... I mean, you acted a like an ass to your best friend just because he dumped her," Phoebe said.

"Well, if you have Monica, you don't hurt her. You certainly don't break up with her. You have Monica. Why would you let her go? If I ever get the chance...I would never let her go. Never. I would do anything she wanted me to do because I got Monica and that would mean I'd have everything," Chandler said although he felt like a huge liar. There was so much left out. He had tried to cut Monica out and he knew he had hurt her many times but it was different to him. He felt protective like he could hurt her or act like an ass but no one else was allowed to do that and that included Kip.

"Maybe it'll happen...one day," Phoebe said.

"It'll be nice...but I'm not holding my breath. Alright, roommate...must be employed. Neat-"

"Doesn't pee in their own bed."

"Good."

"Non smoker?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't care if they smoke or not."

"You just don't want them dating Monica."

"Exactly."

Chandler looked down at his pad and began working on the ad again. Who would be his ideal roommate? Someone nice? Someone Monica would find hideously unattractive? Someone who he would not find hideously unattractive?

"I think I wanna go to my grandmother's," Phoebe said.

Chandler looked up from his paper and looked at her. It had been right before the holiday weekend when Phoebe apparently had discovered she had a grandmother. She had a run in with Ursula and through Ursula had been told she had a grandmother. Phoebe had been going back and forth on whether or not she should see this grandmother.

"Today?"

"Yeah...after lunch. Can we?" Phoebe asked.

"Of course."

"And I'm telling my grandmother you paid for my education."

Chandler let out a snort. When he had gone with Phoebe to visit her step dad, she had told him that Chandler had paid for her education. That had been a strange experience in itself. He really just didn't want everyone knowing.

"No, stop-"

"I'm told my step father and I'm gonna tell my grandmother...and I told Ursula, although I didn't mention your name."

"You are not good with secrets."

"I am too. I just...my grandmother needs to know. That's important. She's going to wonder how I managed to get through school with no student loans."

She did have a point.

"Alright, alright...how you feeling?"

"I'm okay."

Chandler squeezed her hand and then looked back down at the paper in front of him. Maybe a homeless person could be his roommate? Monica had lucked out with Phoebe. Maybe he could add that? Must not have a home? He shook his head, he wanted someone with a job.

After lunch, Chandler drove towards Phoebe's grandmother's place, following her directions. He missed driving so much. He wondered if he could buy himself another car. He loved the freedom and the complete control he had. Driving into houses aside, Chandler had always felt he was a pretty good driver. The apartment was on Morton Street and when Chandler finally found a spot, they remained seated. Phoebe looked spooked.

"Why didn't she ever try to find me?" Phoebe asked.

"She may have," Chandler said.

"But before I ran away. I didn't know my grandparents...did you know yours?" Phoebe asked.

Chandler thought about that. Had he met his grandparents? He remembered a couple Christmases when he was about five and six meeting them. His mom's parents were a lot like his mom. His grandparents had been teen parents, only having Nora when they were fifteen years old so Chandler remembered his mom's parents partying with his mom during one of those club parties. His dad's parents? He never knew his dad's mom and his dad's dad? He remembered meeting him once and he reminded Chandler of Liberace, dripping in diamonds and fur.

"Not well. I saw them during holidays and stuff. Never really did much with them."

"I had no clue and I have so many questions. If she knew her daughter had died and she knew Ursula and I were alone...why didn't she come get us sooner?"

"You have to ask."

Phoebe nodded as the two got out of the car and walked to the building. She pressed the button of her grandmother's apartment. Chandler stood nervously by Phoebe's side when suddenly an elderly woman's voice came through the speaker.

"Hello?"

"Hi...is this Frances?" Phoebe asked

"I don't want any."

"No, no...it's Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay. I'm your granddaughter."

There was silence as both Chandler and Phoebe stared at the door wondering if it was going to buzz open or remain shut. When it buzzed, both suddenly jumped. Chandler opened the door and the two walked into the building and took the elevator up to the four flights stairs and walked to apartment number 14. Chandler grabbed Phoebe's hand while they walked towards the door. They stopped in front of it and knocked, not sure what to expect. Chandler felt himself getting more and more uncomfortable. He desperately wanted to run when the door suddenly opened and a small woman with curly hair wearing a long dress suddenly threw her arms around Phoebe, holding her tightly. Phoebe let go of Chandler's hand and hugged back. Chandler stared at the ground, wondering if he should leave. He really felt he should not be there but instead followed Phoebe and her grandmother inside the apartment and sat in one of the chairs as Phoebe and the grandmother sat on the couch.

"So...how's everyone doing today? Anything new?" Chandler asked.

Phoebe laughed as she wiped the tears away from her face and looked at Chandler.

"Um...this is Chandler, grandma...he's one of my best friends."

"Hi...I'm Chandler, I make jokes at awkward silences," Chandler grinned.

"Hello...now, Phoebe, honey, where have you been?" Frances asked.

"Around. I lived in a junkyard and in Port Authority and-"

"Where do you live now?" Frances asked.

"In an apartment on Bedford. I-I-see Chandler...okay, I got my GED when I was eighteen and I wanted a degree so by the time I was about twenty, twenty one, I made enough for one semester of school and then by coincidence I met Chandler on a subway and he ended up using his trust fund money to pay for my education...and my books and everything. He saved me-"

"You would have figured out a way," Chandler said, quietly. He really should not be there. He needed an out. This wasn't something he needed to be privy too. It was a family moment that did not involve him although it did occur to him once again the parallels between his life and Phoebe's. He knew exactly what it felt like to wonder why no one was out there looking for him. He hadn't spoken with either one of his parents in so long.

"I don't know if I would have...well, I'm a licensed masseuse. I have a job and everything. I found an apartment and I have a roommate named Monica and Chandler lives next door," Phoebe said.

"Oh my...and Chandler, you paid for all of this. That's amazing," Frances said.

"It's not...it's fine...I-it wasn't-" Chandler stuttered.

Phoebe smiled at him as she continued talking to her grandmother about Ursula and about Phoebe's mother when Chandler decided he needed to leave. This wasn't his moment.

"You know, I think I should go," Chandler said, getting up.

"Chandler," Phoebe said.

"I'm going to place my roommate ad and I'll be back in an hour," Chandler said as he walked towards the door. Phoebe got up and followed him to the door. She grabbed his arm.

"Please don't leave."

"Phoebe, you can do this. You've done everything else. You don't need me here. You just think you do. I will be back in one hour. I promise," Chandler said.

Phoebe nodded as she hugged him. Chandler smiled as he walked out, walked towards the car and headed off to place the roommate ad. He had decided on a male roommate, neat, friendly, employed...and at the last moment, decided to leave out hideously unattractive.