This is not beta'd or preread. You all are the very first to read, feel special. I refused to let ImHereToReview even know what was going to happen because I wanted to surprise her :)

My alarm clock woke me up early. I'd like to say I was used to it by now, with Edward always up at the ass crack of dawn to get to work, but I wasn't. I was exhausted. Worn out. It wasn't that I didn't love our life together, but lately I've just needed a break. Which is why I was really excited that we were taking a vacation. Excluding our pre-wedding honeymoon to Denver and our actual honeymoon, we hadn't had much time for relaxing lately.

I'd kept the bookshop, just like Edward had planned all along. He commuted to state for med school and was lucky enough to get placed in the local hospital for his clinicals. Med school was stressful for him, stressful for me, stressful for our relationship. But we stuck together. We'd stopped keeping secrets, except for that one time I threw him that surprise birthday party. And we trusted each other with everything that we had. Through our kooky, sometimes always strange personalities, we'd manage to build this crazy, beautiful life together.

Our wedding was small due to my fear of falling down the aisle. I guess I figured if I was going to fall, I'd rather have it be in a small room with only a few people. Less cameras. Less chance of me ending up on America's Funniest Home Videos.

We took a honeymoon roadtrip down the California coast before he had to get back to start work and we've been busy ever since.

We'd acquired a new roommate last month, since this new three bedroom apartment was almost too big for just the two of us. Edward used one of the spare bedrooms as an office, but we never really used the other one before now.

I peeked into the newbie's bedroom a few times, in complete shock that he was still sleeping. I didn't know anyone could sleep that much.

Alice called me just as I was getting ready to head to the hospital to pick Edward up. New roommate had insisted on coming with me to see Edward and who was I to argue.

"Hey Ali," I answered.

"Hey! When are you guys leaving?" She asked.

"On the way to get Edward now. Jack's in the backseat." I glanced back. He was asleep with drool running down his face.

"So how's it going with him?"

I sighed. I loved the new roommate. I really did. But there were a few things…just a few… "He's loud…at all hours of the night. I'm surprised Edward can sleep through it. I always have to get up and go talk to him." I shook my head. "And he poops. He poops all the time. Smells up the whole apartment."

"Well what did you expect?" She laughed.

"I'm just pulling into the hospital now. We'll be there by 3." I hung up the phone and opened the door to the back so Jack could go inside. He loved visiting Edward at the hospital.

We went inside and were immediately greeted by the ladies at the front desk. They knew us by now. I waved as we started towards the elevator. Edward had been working in surgery recovery since early this morning.

We rounded a corner and I spotted him standing at the nurses' station filling out some paperwork. I paused for a moment and smirked. I couldn't get over how good he looked in that white lab coat.

Edward finally looked up and smiled when he saw us. "Hello Mrs. Cullen."

"Hey Doc." I sauntered towards him as his attention turned to Jack.

"Wanna help daddy finish up his paperwork?" He asked Jack. The kid was only a month old, it wasn't like he could answer, but it didn't matter to Edward. He talked to him all the time. And not just the "ooh" and "ahh" that everyone did when they were looking at a newborn. He talked to him like he was a big kid. Sometimes I really felt like they understood each other.

Edward reached out and took Jack from my arms. He tucked him into one arm and Jack's head found its place on Edward's shoulder as he turned back to his paperwork. He rocked slowly back and forth as he struggled to write with one hand. When he was finished he handed it to the nurse sitting at the station.

"Keep 12 on the IV for another hour or so then she should be set to be discharged. Make sure she gets instructions for aftercare and I'd like to see her back in a week to check out the incision." He nodded and turned towards me. "Okay I'm ready."

He clocked out and carried Jack out to the car. He grabbed the normal clothes I had waiting for him in the seat and ran back inside to change while I strapped the baby into the carseat.

"Are you going to be good for Aunt Alice, baby boy?" I asked, running my fingers through his soft baby hairs. He was already the spitting image of Edward and I knew it wasn't going to be long before the girls were chasing him around the playground. I just hoped he would react better than I had at that age. Kicking the boys and running away while they screamed in pain landed me several trips to the principal's office.

Edward emerged moments later in jeans and a t-shirt. He slipped into the passenger's seat and we were off to Aunt Alice's. She spoiled the kid more in one month than we probably ever would.

Edward help carry all of Jack's things into the house when we arrived as Jack slept on my chest. I leaned down and kissed his head, thinking that this was the first time we'd really be leaving him alone with anyone but each other. It was a big step.

"We'll be fine," Alice said, taking him into her arms. "Uncle Jasper will be home soon and we're going to have so much fun!" She made a face at Jack and he looked at her like she was doing fucking cartwheels across a flaming board. Completely fascinated.

"Okay I guess that's it." Edward put his hands on his hips and sighed. I'll admit I was a little anxious to leave Jack, it was only normal. But Edward looked like he was about to take the kid and run for the hills.

"Honey, it's time to go," I said softly, touching Edward's arm. I leaned down and kissed Jack again, telling him how much I loved him. Edward did the same and reluctantly followed me to the car. "Edward…" I scolded gently, trying to hold it together.

His face was glued to the window as we pulled away until we couldn't see the house anymore.

"Are you going to make it?" I asked, laughing under my breath.

"Maybe we should call to see if everything's alright?" He asked.

"We just left five minutes ago!"

"Five minutes is a long time, Bella," he said seriously.

"Yeah for you five minutes is a long time. I'd be happy if you made it to two minutes." I cocked my eyebrow at him and hoped the joke would ease his tension. I sighed and grabbed his hand. "Edward, we haven't had sex in two weeks. Two weeks. Can you please just relax and enjoy our time alone?"

"I'll try."

"Would you try a little harder if you knew I went shopping for some lingerie?"

"That would probably make me try a little harder, yes."

I turned off the remote, deserted road that our GPS indicated as some kind of short cut back to town. It looked a little more like Children of the Corn to me. I couldn't understand why Alice and Jasper wanted to live in the middle of nowhere.

Edward was still acting like a Sullen Cullen and it was driving me nuts.

"Fine." I slowly pulled over to the side of the road and jumped into the backseat.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Come on. We're doing it right now. You need a jumpstart or something."

"Bella, we're not having sex in the middle of nowhere. There's probably crazy people that live out here."

"Would you prefer for me to drive downtown so we have an audience of normal people?"

"No."

I smiled and pulled my jeans and underwear off. "Come on then." I threw them up at him as I pulled my shirt over my head. "I'm naked and alone and I'd suggest you get back here right now." I draped my bra over his shoulder and that finally got his attention. He slowly turned his head back over his shoulder and smirked.

"Are you trying to kill me, woman?" He sighed.

"No, I'm trying to fuck you." I shook my hair out and let if fall over my bare breasts.

I barely had time to react before he pounced into the backseat, pulling his shirt off along the way. "If you hear banjos…run…" He whispered.

I laughed and fell down onto the seat. His jeans flew into the air, quickly followed by his boxers. I couldn't say that having sex on leather seats was the best or quietest experience I'd ever had, but it was Edward. We made it work.

I found myself straddling his waist as he sat in the middle seat. His hands were gripping my hips, guiding me up and down his length with haste.

"God, I want you." His head fell forward and brushed against my breasts. He nipped at my skin as a bead of sweat slid down the back of his neck. "I want you pregnant again, baby."

My vagina clamped down in defense. I know most women would find it really sweet that their husbands want to see them all swollen with their child growing inside them, but it was too soon. Too soon. I needed at least a year or two of recovery time before I went down that road again. Have you seen the beauty of birth? More like excrutiating, painful mess.

"Oh honey," I sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing." I smiled and kissed his head. "Nothing."

We finished our backseat escapade and scrambled back to the front seat as a car drove by. I blushed, thinking about how close we were to being caught.

Edward drove us back to the city. Back to our parking lot. Back to our apartment.

"Do you think it's weird that we're taking a vacation in our own apartment?" I mumbled as we climbed the stairs.

"Not at all." He shook my head. "Not when I've got a roommate like you."

I smiled and popped up to kiss him. "You left the toilet seat up again this morning."

"Did not…" He said.

"Did too."

"At least I didn't leave my bikini line trimmer out for all to see…"

"You trim your bikini line?"

"You're a smartass," he said, tucking me under his arm.

"You love me anyway."

We both sank down into our couch, completely exhausted. He pulled the blanket over us as I snuggled onto his chest. "I do. I love you anyway."

I blissfully started to drift off to sleep, thinking about how perfect my life was. And then, just before I slipped into unconsciousness, I heard it. The crunch crunch. I opened my eyes and looked up at Edward, who was stuffing a chip into his mouth.

He leaned down and held the bag out to me with a smile. "Chip?"

Disclaimer: A few people have brought up concerns about the timeline for getting jiggy with it after a baby. The average time is about 6 weeks after birth, but a doctor can clear a woman anywhere from 2-6 weeks after birth if it was a smooth delivery. It really all depends on the comfort level for the woman and making sure there are no problems down there. So yes 6 weeks is normal, but its not in concrete that you have to wait that long. So them having sex with a new born who's over a month old is not inaccurate. Besides, when have these 2 ever gone with the norm?

A/N: So...that's it. Anyone who knows me knows that I have issues with endings. I'm never satisfied with the last line so I just keep going and I get myself all stressed out about it. But then I sat back and thought what's a better ending for this story than Edward and his chips. So here it is.

As most of you know, I'm retiring from FF writing for now. And I can't say how weird it feels already. I want to dedicate this last story to anyone and everyone who has ever read my stories or supported me in any way. It means the world to me and inspired me to write. So that's what I'll be doing. I'm currently working on my first original novel :)

I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I loved writing it. I want to thank you for believing in youth, mistakes and second chances because at its core, all the humor aside, that's what it was about.

"I'd like to say 'thank you' on behalf of the group and ourselves, and I hope we passed the audition!"- John Lennon

Love always,

Mandy