Before I started this chapter, I wanted to take a moment and thank all my lovely reviewers. You guys make me feel so proud with my work, no matter how short or how crappy of a chapter it is. So thank you so, so much for all the continued support!
The cancer came as a surprise to two of the three men. It was so strange, something as mundane, normal, as cancer would be the one to kill Dean Winchester. He's been fighting off monsters nearly his whole life and he'd been lucky enough to escape their clutches, so maybe it was right that something so simple and ordinary would do away with Dean.
It'd been a few months since Dean was diagnosed, months in which neither Dean or Cas had taken the opportunity to tell how they felt about one another, and Dean was looking worse for wear. He was slowly deteriorating, slipping away.
Today, it seemed, would be the day Dean would die, this time for good. He made Cas promise not to bring him back, just like he made him promise he wouldn't cure him. Dean was tired of this endless game of living and dying. He started to take it for granted; he just wanted to be done.
Sam was eating in the cafeteria, once the end started to near he couldn't bear to see Dean like this, the shell of the man he once was.
Cas was sitting on a white folding chair, up close by Dean's hospital bed. He was watching Dean sleep. Not in the creepy, Twilight kind of way but in the kind of checking to see if Dean was still breathing way.
He was, just to let you know.
Dean's hand lay open on the bed, his fingers curled slightly inward. Cas looked behind him, at the door, and tentatively reached his own hand forward and took Dean's, their hands fitting like puzzle pieces. Subconsciously, Castiel began smoothing his thumb over the skin between Dean's thumb and forefinger. Dean began to stir, the light touch proving to be enough to wake him.
"Cas?" Dean asked, his voice hoarse, as he opened his eyes slowly. He blinked away the harsh light that invaded his eyes, moving his free hand to cover them.
"Good afternoon, Dean." Cas replied, a watery smile spreading onto his face. He didn't let go of Dean's hand and Dean didn't shake it off.
"I can feel him coming for me." Dean croaked out, looking up at Cas with those dying, watery green eyes.
"Who?" Cas asked, tilting his head to the side in that familiar gesture.
"Death. He's coming and I'm waiting." Dean explained, keeping his eyes locked with Cas'. "Since he's… comin' so soon…there's something I…gotta tell you." Dean added, coughing after he finished the sentence.
"What would that be?" Cas asked, scooting the folding chair as close as it would go, without letting Dean's hand go.
"Get off the chair…and lay down next to me and…I'll tell ya." Dean ordered, slowly scooting over to make room.
Cas nodded, although a bit hesitant, and got up from the chair, still clasping Dean's chilling hand, and laid down next to him, getting as comfortable as possible. He tucked one arm under Dean, holding onto him as he rested his head on his shoulder. Neither of the men thought anything of the way they were laying. They didn't say anything for a moment, either.
"This is a long time coming. Should've said something…sooner. Now all we've got left is today." Dean began, tightening his grip on Cas' hand.
"I love you. There… I said it now. Should have said it…a few months ago….when I was healthy." Dean said, his eyes watering at the corners. "Hell, even before that." He added after a moment.
"You're wrong." Cas said, looking up at Dean as a tear rolled down his cheek.
"What do ya mean?" Dean asked, his brow wrinkled, his eyes confused.
"We've got longer than today. We've got every day for…forever, I guess you would say. I'm not saying this is in a way to convince you to let me heal you or bring you back, either. I'm saying I'll follow wherever death shall take you." Cas explained smoothly, softly as he listened to Dean's shallow breathing.
"You can't follow me, Cas. You gotta stay…for Sam." Dean replied, turning slightly to look down at Cas.
"He'll be fine, he can take care of himself. Let him grow, give him room to breathe. He can finally have the life he wants, he can fall in love again, have kids and die of an extremely old age because of a heart attack."
"Do you know that for sure?" Dean choked out, his voiced filled with blatant hope.
"I know just as I knew all along how you would end before I even laid a hand on you." Cas replied mournfully, ashamed of knowing all this time how Dean would go, when and where. He just didn't know of the minutes before Dean went, where he let his heart out of its cage.
"That's good enough for me, I guess."
Dean leaned down slowly and with difficulty, Cas could hear his bones wheezing and creaking, and kissed Cas softly on his own lips, his chilly hand gripping Cas' with a lost strength. He pulled his lips away, taking his last breath, and laid back down on the pillow as his blood began to run cold.
The monitors all began beeping and whirring, strange sounds coming out of each and every one of them. Cas knew it was his time to leave. He had a new soul to guide into Heaven.