The title translates to "I am so confused." xD My exact state when I tried to name it.
She'd completely stopped keeping up with the time that had been passing halfway through her third century alive, but she couldn't help herself this time. Zoro's magnetic presence crackled and quivered in the air from all the way across the island for two days, coming up on three, she had observed. She'd known something like that would happen; at least, that had been her suspicion. And, when it came to the utterly predictable island protector Roronoa Zoro, her suspicions were almost always confirmed as true. In fact, when it came to most things, Robin was usually right.
From her sheltered perch near the top of an old tree closer to the middle of the island than she'd been in a long time, Robin watched the demon. Though he repeatedly denied her access to the holy grounds of his island and told her to leave or go to hell, he did not seem much in the mood to keep up sentry duty. As she watched Zoro tear apart an undeserving boulder with quick flashes of his borrowed blades, she couldn't help but crack a smile. He'd been releasing his aggression in a steady, vicious stream since that pack of demons, lowlifes, really, had attacked the island. Needless to say, it interested her.
It was a startling sight, even for one so old as herself. She had wondered in a few of her down moments why Zoro wasn't higher up the ranks. Of course, she was an informed enough woman to know all the qualifications for a higher position than guardian of a small island. She knew Zoro wasn't political enough or ambitious enough in that respect, but he had the strength to do it. The intelligence, too, if he tried. But, despite all his ability, that was not who Zoro was and it never had been.
Still, she watched. Perhaps there was no way it would benefit her, but she wanted Zoro to realize his full potential. To be stronger. And that was what he wanted as well. That made him easier to work with, despite his suspicions about her. He would not intentionally hinder anyone who was only trying to help, Robin believed.
In the distance, a large chunk of smooth gray rock landed on the shoreline with a dull thud and a limited but loud splash. His latest victim had met a sandy end. Robin chuckled to herself and jumped down from her limb. She landed a substantial distance from her starting point without a sound and, even though she was still very far away from where Zoro was, she could hear him. She could tell he'd noticed her.
The air was still for an extended moment and then she heard him snarl and he was in front of her. Had she been a few centuries younger, she might have flinched when he appeared quite suddenly nose-to-nose with her, roaring so loud the whole island shook. But she didn't flinch; she didn't even blink. The wind blew furiously around them and the tips of two swords pricked either side of her ribcage drawing two identical beads of blood, but she did not flinch.
"I see you're in a good mood," Robin observed, smiling at his enraged face.
In a voice so unlike his own, Zoro growled, "I will kill you." Robin could only raise her eyebrows in a delicate, questioning manner. "You did this, I know you did!" Zoro bellowed in her face and Robin turned her head slightly to avoid being spat upon.
"And what, may I ask, has got you so riled up, Swordsman-san?" Robin kept her face turned away, but she watched Zoro out of the corner of her eye. She could take a hundred guesses at what was angering him so much and each guess in its own way would be right, she knew him that well, but she was almost certain that this anger was fresh.
"You know damn well what!" Zoro roared and birds all around them screeched and scattered, bumping into branches in their panic. "All of this is your fault!"
Very interesting. "All of what? I do get around in a day, Swordsman-san, I mayn't remember in what way I have wronged you this time."
Zoro snarled loudly again and the dark expression on his face grew darker as he bared his teeth at her. A flicker of fear tainted one or two of Robin's heartbeats, but it was gone again in a blink. She could beat Zoro easily and she knew that, but she hadn't seen him so upset in over two hundred years, if she was calculating correctly. It was an impulse for anyone and anything to be afraid of an irate demon, however illogical it seemed to her that she should fear Zoro.
Perhaps unwisely, Robin decided to make a conclusion aloud, one she already knew, true or otherwise, would ruffle Zoro's feathers. "You know," she began, taking a somewhat indirect approach as she often did. "I haven't seen you this upset since... Around the middle of your existence. More specifically, about a certain-"
"Shut up." His voice was quiet, more like his normal voice, but nonetheless full of the same bubbling anger. "I won't have you talking about that time. It's completely unrelated and it's way out of line."
He was still very sore about that time, but that wasn't his current source of murderous rage. More interesting still. "Oh, I hardly have a choice but to mention that time since I haven't any idea what you're smoldering about," Robin told him, feeling the cold bite of steel pressing further into her sides. That phantom fear flickered again as her favorite lavender button-up was tainted by her own blood.
"You knew this would happen, this fight. I know you did," Zoro accused, glaring right into her eyes. Lighter colors swam in his dark eyes, a strange collage of dangerous things reflecting there, beautiful things. Despite his temper, Robin smiled.
Temptation, the bitter wench, seemed to be conquering her, Robin observed the moment before she spoke. "And what if I had?" she asked, quirking a brow. "What would you do?"
In a movement so fast it rivaled her own speed, Zoro scraped his swords all the way around Robin's torso from their starting points at her sides, making a nearly one-inch deep cut that hardly hurt but gushed blood. His swords met evenly just under Robin's navel and he sneered. "Don't test me, woman. My conscience wouldn't bother me for a minute if I killed you," Zoro hissed.
"Wouldn't it? You keep threatening me like that, but I don't think you've ever once tried to kill me," Robin told him. In truth, she couldn't recall him making a serious attempt on her life, but there had always been somebody else to blame, somebody who had done him wrong, and he had no proper reason to fight her, let alone kill her. There were no such hang-ups in this situation, even though Robin had not directly done anything. She was the only person handy to take the blame.
His snarl ripped through the air and made her ears ring, a purely animal sound that seemed to quiet nature around them. "You really shouldn't push your luck," he roared in her face, pressing one sword across her throat and the other into her wound, keeping it from healing. "Now since I'm feeling merciful today-" He raised his eyebrows significantly, stressing "merciful" heavily. "I'll give you a chance, just one chance, to explain yourself. If you had nothing to do with this, you might be safe for today."
Pity. She wanted to know what he would do if she were guilty of his particular grievance, but she still didn't have enough of a handle on it to push all the right buttons. It appeared she would have to tell the truth. "If I'm to be honest-"
"You are," Zoro interrupted with a hard glare.
Robin nodded once, ignoring the nick that motion created on her neck with Zoro's sword. "Then, I shall be. I had no hand in the appearance of those weaklings, though they provided a good source of entertainment while they were here. Do you know not a single one of them was killed?"
The swordsman narrowed his eyes at her and bared his teeth again. "You had absolutely nothing to do with that?" he asked in a growly tone that made Robin chuckle. "What about Hawk Eyes? Did you call him here?"
"Is he really who you wanted to ask me about?" Robin asked, smirking to reflect a knowledge that she didn't entirely have. Of course, she also tried to mask her lack of knowledge about Dracule Mihawk's visit to the island. She would make inquiries about that later.
Zoro faltered, but he didn't look surprised. That was intriguing. He predicted she would ask something like that. How smart of him. "You are in no place to ask questions, Robin," the younger demon sneered, pressing his sword harder against Robin's neck for emphasis.
"Oh?" Robin tried her best not to sound amused, but messing with Zoro had always been a weakness of hers. "Well, if you're so dead set on killing me, and I can tell that you want to, I may not get another chance to ask questions. I'm hurt that you'd do that to me, Swordsman-san."
"Sure you are." Pain was starting to register in Robin's mind, an unwelcome sensation, just when she was having fun. Zoro gave Robin a very serious look, without growling or snarling or baring his teeth at all. "You really had nothing to do with the convenient appearance of the Krieg pirates?" he asked slowly, in a more normal, but still threatening voice.
Heaving a sigh, Robin summoned four extra arms, two from her shoulders and two from her hips, and pushed Zoro's swords back a bit with some effort. "Sadly, no," she answered, tentatively placing one of her original hands over the small stream of blood dripping down her neck. "I don't know what made these young ones think they would successfully invade your island. It was a foolish scheme and destined to fail."
"But, the island-!" Zoro snapped his mouth shut with an audible clack and roughly unsheathed his swords from Robin's grip. He took a few deep breaths and, of all things, paced back and forth like a distressed human. Too cute. "Then-" Zoro spun on his heel and darted back up to her. "If you had nothing to do with it, how come you knew about them? Why didn't you help fight them off? You could have helped h-those humans!"
She was growing agitated with the interrogation thing. "I've been around a very long time, Roronoa Zoro, it is not hard for me to figure things out," she told him, scolding if she ever had. "I sensed them, smelled battle and blood and I came to see what the commotion was about. I'd heard in previous months about a nobody demon with an army of misguided humans trying to overthrow more honorable demons and take their land, so I posed that suggestion. Pardon me for trying to help."
Where he was supposed to pause and realize how she had helped him by telling him of the danger he had been in, Zoro glared at her. "You are here without my permission and you have no obligation to assist me. How am I supposed to believe anything you say?"
"Why would you ask, then?" Robin questioned, sprouting more arms from the tree a few inches behind her and forming to larger arms with at least a dozen each. She pushed at Zoro's shoulders with her unattached arms and he hardly budged. "If you don't trust me, why question me at all? Why let me stay on this island? Let me live?"
Had she been speaking to anyone else, Robin would have been preparing to save herself once those revelations hit whomever she was talking to, but she did not believe Zoro would kill her. His mind was otherwise occupied, she could tell, and he had never been one to kill. Especially since he'd grown closer to humans as a race. It was a change she would have to study closely a while longer to understand.
"Because you have answers. At least, I thought you did." Zoro took a step back from her and she let out a tense sigh. "But, if you don't know anything about those pirates or about Mihawk, I have no use of you."
"I already told you what I know," Robin told him. "They're most likely the amateur thieves from the East. And, Hawk Eyes-san is much higher up than I and none too friendly. I would not call him to my location."
"Somehow, I still don't believe you." Zoro reclaimed the space between them, holding his swords stiffly at his sides. "You used to have so much integrity, Robin. I used to trust you, but I can't now. I think you're lying to me and I don't even know why I think that."
Well, that was peculiar. All of his sharp moments had been oddly-timed and that one was no different. It almost seemed like he was trying to inconvenience her with his random bursts of intelligence. Dumb or smart, he needed to make up his mind so she could figure him out. "I am not lying about this matter. In all honesty, Swordsman-san, after nearly a decade of trying to earn permission to be on your island, it would not be a wise thing for me to ruin it by having your island invaded and then lying about it. Do you think I am not wise?"
Zoro raised his head slightly, considering it. He didn't take very long to come to a conclusion and he stepped away again. "That's a good point," he admitted, sheathing his swords cautiously. He looked wary of her, unsure if he could trust her still, it seemed. "You aren't stupid enough to mix with those Weichlinge*, even I can trust that much... But, I don't want you here. Not-"
"Near the humans I introduced you to? Oh, certainly not," Robin interrupted with a smirk.
"Shut up, woman," Zoro snapped. "That's not what I was going to say."
"Of course. Do continue, but I have somewhere to be soon," she told him, if only just to see that suspicious glimmer in his eyes that gave her a glimpse of the keen mind through his brash exterior. "Just so you remember, I am innocent of your accusations and I am only trying to help. That about sums up our conversation thus far, does it not?"
Narrowing his eyes at her, the younger demon scoffed. "You forgot the part where I still don't fucking trust you."
"Yes, forgive me," Robin said flatly, wiping away the blood from her fully healed neck. "This was one of my favorite shirts. You owe me a new one."
"I don't owe you shit," Zoro countered quickly, switching to the offensive again. He was always so ready to defend himself with a vulgar attitude and swift sword skills, but she wouldn't bait him this time. There was enough blood on her shirt already.
Shrugging, Robin took a few slow steps to her left. "Alright, then. I have a job to get to and some errands to run, so if you don't mind..."
"I do mind." Zoro was up in her face again, not that she was bothered much, but it was a little disconcerting. "I mind so damn much that you still live here despite all I've said to you and I mind that you seem to be doing something illegal, something that could be punished severely, right under my nose, and I mind that you seem to want to involve innocent humans in your act of injustice," Zoro hissed so rapidly and quietly that Robin had a bit of trouble keeping up. "I don't have any grounds to kick you the hell off my island right now, but one more incident like that a few days ago, one single toe out of line on your part, especially concerning the humans and you will be banished so fast you'd think you were a human yourself."
That dark, fierce look in his eyes was so deadly serious, so passionately enraged, that she found herself reining in the remarks at the end of her tongue. She wanted to say something about how attached he'd grown to the humans, but she was absolutely sure he would not react pleasantly. "...Fine. I will do my best to behave myself." She backed down a step, submitting to an equal, if not an underling. It would be humiliating if she had not known Zoro for so long. "In any case, my intentions for the day are without malice. I am only doing mundane things this day."
"I'll believe that when I see it," Zoro told her in a flat, belligerent tone.
What an interesting idea. "Oh, are you going to follow me? Perfect," Robin purred with a smirk. Before Zoro could ask her what she meant, and she knew that he would, she took off towards her work. She would have to work for a while so he could work up his nerve and track her down, then she could run her "errand."
oOo
Being back at work, in the kitchen with all the shouting of insults and orders in equal parts, being a part of the flow of normal life almost made it feel like it had never happened. But, it had. It was there in the corners of his mind all day and those events became front and center in his mind when he went to sleep. Sometimes he relived the exchange in his waking hours, he could handle that well enough, but the embellishments of his subconscious mind were too much for him.
Even thinking about those dreams, nightmares, had him so agitated, scared, even, that he couldn't work. Sanji laid his palms flat on the counter before him and hung his head between hunched shoulders for a moment. Breathe in once, eyes closed, out, eyes open. His mind was cleared temporarily of any and all things supernatural. God, that word screwed with him so bad. Maybe "absolutely insane and totally didn't happen" would be better, he thought with a snort. It was definitely a start towards a sound mind, but he wasn't so sure it helped.
"Oi, brat!" Patty's ugly mug popped in through the doors to the dining area. "That annoying group of snotty punks and those two pretty ladies are askin' for ya!"
"Thanks, asshole. Then, you can have this no dairy, no carrots, no celery soup order for table six. Those picky fuckers can settle for your cooking," Sanji insulted with a smirk as he passed around the island workspace and exited the kitchen. Patty cursed and spat behind him, but once the kitchen doors swung shut he couldn't hear a thing except the chatter of patrons.
He spotted his friends sitting at a window table, a table for four where they usually sat, with a fifth chair pulled over at the end and two unexpected occupants. "Sanji, come here! Looks who's visiting!" Luffy shouted excitedly across the room while Usopp called something similar at a lower volume.
"I can see," Sanji said, amazed. "Robin-chan, Little Doctor, nice to see you both. What a pleasant surprise. There's not anything... wrong, is there?" he asked, walking over to stand near the table, smiling cautiously, but politely.
"What? No, of course not, I mean, unless your back hurts worse? Are you alright? Do you need a doctor?!" Chopper stood up in his seat and reached for Sanji and the bag beside his chair at the same time.
Sanji couldn't help himself but to laugh at the adorable concerned look on the child's face. "I'm fine, I'm fine. How about you, Luffy? You feelin' alright?" Sanji deflected, ignoring the ache in the middle of his back that seemed to be calling him a liar.
"Yeah, of course I am! Well, I'd be better if I had some meat... but that's why we're here now!" Luffy answered jovially and the others either laughed or shook their heads.
"Is that all?" Sanji asked jokingly. He smiled and conversed pleasantly enough with everyone at the table like nothing was amiss, but he had only seen Chopper in the days between their fight with Krieg and the present day. It would have been difficult not to tell them about what that marimo said if he had met them in the privacy of one of their homes, even in a group. Hell, especially in a group. He couldn't keep something like that to himself when they were all talking about how well that day went and how lucky they were.
The girls were looking at him strangely, inquiring, perhaps, but their looks were different. Nami's was consistent with her personality, the rarely seen sensitive side, but Robin's was... "-ay?" she was saying, but he couldn't process what she'd said. "Come again? I'm sorry, Robin-chwan, I was off in space!" Sanji apologized quickly and Robin eyed him in an indescribably eerie way.
"I only asked if you are really okay. Are you?" Robin asked, raising an eyebrow and looking him over slowly, apparently searching for something.
Fighting off a searching look of his own, Sanji nodded once. "Yes. Not that I'm not grateful of your concern, as it's a beautiful trait on you, Robin-chan, but why are you asking?"
He forgot everyone else at the table when Robin met his eyes. She cracked a smile, a very small, very strange smile, that contained so many different things, so many gears turning and ideas arising that it was startling. There was a different woman in those eyes, not the Robin he knew. When she spoke again, that foreign Robin was hidden beneath a version of Robin that he recognized just barely, in a somewhat different context, somehow, from her usual self. "Well, it may be nothing... But, I visited, ah, Roronoa-san earlier today. He was in much the same state, I think. He was angrier, of course, but I was just thinking it was quite a coincidence that you both are... in a state."
Sanji's eyebrows drew together, but he couldn't say anything with the others at the table. The conversation, if it could be called that, was carried off on a whirlwind of concern for Zoro and through that Sanji learned none of the others had seen him since that day, either. That was good, he supposed. Chopper talked them down from running off towards the elusive destination of Zoro's home while Sanji stood there, barely paying any attention. He wasn't sure why. He certainly cared to hear what his friends were talking about, but he couldn't bring himself to listen.
At some point he must have fed the others some excuse to get back to work, because he ended up in the kitchen, staring down at a pot of reddish-orange something that smelled kind of sweet. He could only vaguely recall getting back into the kitchen, trading insults with a few chefs and coming to his previous station. He couldn't have made the sauce or soup in that time, he observed, just as someone reached over and ladled some of the mystery liquid into a bowl. "If you ain't workin', get the hell out!" he heard someone say and he dazedly obliged.
In the corner of the kitchen by the back door, Sanji leaned against the wall and tried to keep it from his direct consciousness that he was thinking about Zoro. But, questions swarmed like flies in his mind, from something big like "Why would he be upset?" to small curiosities about demons as a species. Never mind the question of how Robin could connect their moods to each other.
It was too confusing, being curious about the same thing he was furious about, wanting to know how they live and how they die and how many there were in the world. In a strange moment of childishness between one thought and the next, Sanji snorted about "curious" and "furious" rhyming, then he was back to serious and confused. He didn't understand how he could be accepting enough to be curious; he was still angry as hell at Zoro. But, despite what he had said to him, his final words to Zoro, he'd thought at the time, he wanted to go back. Maybe just to yell at him. Maybe to interrogate him. Maybe to kick his ass some more because he damn well deserved it, but Sanji didn't know.
It must be that he wanted to know what possible reason the bastard would have for being upset when he wasn't the one that was lied to and put in danger, Sanji figured. That was pretty damn hard to believe, but he had not known Nico Robin to lie to him. Okay, he told himself, but I wouldn't know where to find the shitty swordsman anyway. The uneasy mix of anger, confusion, curiosity and a hint of fear churned in his gut and made Sanji feel a little sick.
He didn't want to give up on his grudge, or the momentous charge of enmity he felt, but he didn't know where Zoro was, so he could hardly hold on to it. He wouldn't want to talk to anyone, not even the chefs, in the kind of mood he was in. He might well attack someone if he didn't just let it go. But, waiting right on the other side of his fury was a giant bubble of perverse interest in demons, something that he most definitely didn't want to let through. It was too honest and naive for him to give in to it on the heels of the boiling anger he was determined to feel towards the situation.
"I'm not prepared for shit like this," Sanji muttered to himself, rubbing his forehead. Confusion was becoming a constant in his life, even when it seemed he'd gotten answers. Too many shitty questions. And more answers only brought more questions. God damn, he needed a break.
* Weischlinge - Weaklings.
The first time I ever put German in the story and I'm not even sure I used the plural. Dx But! I used a German word! Yay me! Now, what did ye think of what Robin had to add to the party?