Progress: Luna vs. Vigilantism

or...

The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well Strikes Again

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-made work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro. Please support the official release.

Author's Note: Let's just say Ponies! In! Space! isn't going as I'd like it to and I've decided to try and get Progress back to it's roots.

Er... Sort of.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The villainous Jackass cackled. "You've got to face it, Caped Crusader! We're reflections of each other, in a world gone mad!"

"You don't know anything about me, Jackass," growled the masked figure from above, as the Jackass held a pie up to the head of a poor citizen pony. In the dark warehouse, the Malevolent Mountebank was unable to see where the vigilante was, but his mad eyes went all over the place.

"Of course I do! You complete me, Darling!" The Jackass laughed. "Aren't we both the product of one bad day? Just one bad day? Your costume, your tactics-You seek to strike fear into the hearts of criminals, to be larger than life." The Jackass spun around and threw the pie, but missed as the costumed adventurer leaped over it and slammed his hooves into Jackass's chest. "Oof!"

The Jackass struggled with his opponent and laughed. "HAHAHAHA! It's all over your face, fool! You're trying to make sense of a world that destroyed you, whereas I-I don't even bother! The world is pure chaos and an empty, hollow lie!"

"You're wrong, Jackass," the Caped Crusader replied. "Every crime you commit, every action you take is just for attention. To justify your own nihilism!"

The Jackass grabbed his foe and threw them both out the window of the warehouse, plummeting for the water below. From his amazing Utility Saddlebags, however, the Caped Crusader produced a grappling hook, and fired it from his teeth. Holding onto the Jackass, he swung them both to the safety of the dock below, the Jackass smashing into a few barrels. The magic clown groaned and looked up at his foe, who stood up on all four hooves as the wind blew his cape dramatically.

"No... Everything I've done, everyone I've splutted... You still save me?" The Jackass asked. "Hahahahaha... You truly are incorruptible! The yin to my yang! The Luna to my Celestia! We complete one another!"

The Jackass got a kick to the face for that, as the vigilante stood over him.

"No Jackass... I'm not your twisted reflection. We made our choices. And my choice is to stop you, and beat you. And I will." He loomed over his opponent, larger than life and the clown looked afraid.

"Who are you?" The Jackass whispered.

"I'm Bat-"

"Uh, hello?" The hostage back up in the warehouse called. "Batpony? Would you please untie me? I kind of have a doctor's appointment..."

Batpony grimaced. The Jackass laughed.

"Hahahahaha-URK!"

"Shut up! It's not funny!"

"Luna? Luna?"

"Eep," Luna cried, quickly pushing the comic book (or graphic novel, as they were also known) underneath Abacus. Sundance entered the moon princess's room with a smile. She slowly made her way over to the bed and rested on it. She gave the comic book under the counting tool a wry look before her eyes went to Luna as though she hadn't seen a thing.

The princess blushing was reward enough. She'd save the teasing for later.

"Hoo," Sundance sighed. "I feel like a beached whale..."

"No no, there are many beached whales far bigger than you," Luna consoled her. Sundance laughed.

"Not that many..." She sighed and rubbed her belly. She looked back up at her Princess. "I was just concerned. You've been up here all day."

"Oh, well..." Luna coughed and summoned some paperwork, eyes avoiding the comic book. "After the whole... Being fired from the Space Program... Thing, I've been working to catch up on other matters of state."

"They didn't fire you," Sundance said consolingly. "I mean, you did everything you were asked! Got the program back on schedule, got public interest in it again, recruited fantastic ponies to work on it, improved the training-"

"And built a giant robot with remaining funds that went amok," Luna sighed.

"Well, how were you supposed to know that Twilight Sparkle had such... Issues?" Sundance asked carefully. "Nopony was seriously hurt, and look on the bright side! The Equestrian military got quite the training exercise."

"I still haven't been able to put together my own report on the incident," Luna sighed.

"Oh? Why not?" Sundance asked.

"Call it writer's block," Luna said dryly. "Besides, I think it's better for everypony if I stay out of the spotlight for a while. Maybe hide in the library..."

"Which your sister isn't letting you do, if you're here," Sundance pointed out, more than a little smugly. Luna scowled at her.

"You're taking after her more than is healthy for you."

"At least I'll be able to make my foals' life interesting," Sundance replied. "Still Luna... You really should try to do something to get yourself out of the house. This isn't as bad as the Nightmare Moon incident-"

"No, but a giant rampaging robot is not good for anypony's image, especially not mine," Luna huffed. Sundance nuzzled her princess kindly.

"Most young ponies in the kingdom thought it was incredible."

"Yes, because they're young," Luna sighed. Sundance sighed back.

"You'll get it back, Luna. You will. You got public approval once... This is just one mistake. You'll find a way to improve things! I mean, there are plenty of charities to manage after all... Ooh! Maybe an exhibition boxing match for charity!"

"Maybe," Luna considered aloud.

"Or you could throw out the first pitch for the base-" At Luna's widened eyes, Sundance quickly backtracked. "Okay, never mind... That."

"I'll figure something out. In the mean time, I am content to hide. Miss Selene doesn't build giant robots or cause mass destruction," Luna huffed. "She is a mild mannered, respectable citizen."

Sundance sighed again.

"All right... By the way, here. The newspaper." The blonde pony moved it to Luna with her mouth. Luna gratefully took it with her telekinesis, and raised an eyebrow at the front page.

"Mysterious Mare-Do-Well Appears in Ponyville," Luna read aloud. Sundance chuckled.

"Yeah, isn't it a riot? A masked superpony saving the day. She's becoming really popular... Even though it was some kind of lesson to teach Miss Dash some humility."

"Hum? That's not in the paper," Luna said, her reading glasses on her nose as she looked up at her hoof maiden. "Have journalistic standards slipped so much?" Sundance laughed.

"No, no, but I listened in as Princess Celestia read Miss Twilight's latest Friendship Report to herself."

"Eavesdropping on the princess?" Luna asked. Sundance grinned.

"Who would suspect the innocent, pregnant hoofmaiden?" She asked with a proverbial halo over her head. Luna chuckled. She knew her sister wouldn't mind too much.

"Well, what is the secret of the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well?"

"Apparently Miss Applejack, Miss Pie, Miss Twilight Sparkle and Miss Fluttershy all posed as the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well and saved Ponyville from the many disasters that befall it daily," Sundance reported. "And Miss Rarity manufactured the costumes."

"I see," Luna said thoughtfully. "So... They have ceased their charade?"

"Probably. Mission accomplished and all." Sundance sighed. "How can such a small town suffer so many disasters?"

"Eldritch Abomination sleeping under it," Luna replied matter-of-factly. Sundance stared.

"You're joking right?"

Luna shrugged.

"I think so," Luna said, studying the image carefully. "Been a while... Hmmm..."

She looked back up at Sundance with a smile.

"You know, the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well has become quite popular... It would be a shame to let a new symbol of hope and heroism go to waste."

"Yes, it would," Sundance nodded. She then blinked. "Wait... You're not thinking of doing what I think you're doing, are you?"

"You mean, find somepony to be the new Mysterious Mare-Do-Well?" Luna asked. She scoffed. "Nonsense."

"Oh, good," Sundance sighed. She'd had a horrible mental image of herself, pregnant as she was, waddling after criminals in the Mare-Do-Well costume. Purple may have been her color but black and blue definitely wasn't.

Luna smirked. "I'm going to do it myself."

"Wait, what?"

Officially, you can say that Ponies! In! Space! Has been put on pause. I'll finish the tale of what happened at some later point when I've got the inspiration, but for now I think we'd all prefer to move on and get back to the basics of Luna being... Well, Luna.

I know I would.