Thanks for the feedback! Darkheadlights, I was talking about your fic! I got the idea from it.

The next week went by far too quickly. Rory had a new project at work, finishing late every night, and whenever she got home and saw her phone she felt a twinge of guilt, knowing she should call, but feeling so tired that she would decide to call the next night instead and then suddenly it was Friday. Rory worked until nine before dragging herself home, her back and shoulders aching and seriously contemplated heating the water so she could fill her miniscule bathtub which always took so long to fill. Rory was at the corner of her street when she remembered that she had forgotten to get any takeout and that she had no food at home and could have cried. She could not face turning around and going back, especially as icy rain was beginning to fall, so instead she wearily walked to her building, figuring she could order something.

Rory was just reaching into her bag for her keys when she looked up and stopped in surprise. Jess was sitting on the steps, reading a book.

"Jess!" Rory exclaimed, going up to him. "You nearly gave me a heart attack! How long have you been sitting there?"

"About an hour."

"An hour?" Rory exclaimed. "In this weather, are you insane?"

"Maybe. Probably."

Jess closed his book and Rory stared at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Catching up with my old buddy Ernest Hemingway."

"Jess," Rory said, giving him a look and he put the book down.

"I've been waiting for your call, only you haven't, so I figured I'd come and see what was going on. It seemed a lot less stalkerish in my mind," he added and Rory flushed with shame.

"I'm so sorry, I've had a crazy week."

"So crazy that you can't call for five minutes? Or text?"

"You hate texting," Rory joked feebly but he didn't crack a smile. "I'm sorry. It would have taken longer than five minutes."

"You could have called to let me know you were busy," Jess argued and Rory looked at her shoes. "Instead of just letting me hang all week."

"I'm really sorry," Rory said. "I'm a jerk, I know. I promise I'll call you tomorrow."

"Let's talk now."

"Now?"

"There's no time like the present."

"There's a much better time than the present," Rory argued, making her way up the steps. "A time when we're both not exhausted and cranky."

"Rory, I've been sitting here for an hour!"

"I know but I didn't ask you to do that!"

"How else was I meant to get hold of you?" Jess demanded. "You ignored me all week."

"I didn't mean to," Rory said, knowing she was making excuses and feeling awful. "Look, I know I've been crappy. I promise to call tomorrow."

"We kissed, Rory," Jess said, getting up and Rory said,

"I know, I was there."

"Come on, Rory. We can't just act like this never happened."

"I know we can't!"

"Look, if you really want me to go I'll go," Jess said after a pause. "But I think we should talk this out now instead of just putting it off, or not calling each other."

"I said I was sorry!"

"Rory, we kissed!" Jess exclaimed. "And you know it means something, you know it was more than just the heat of the moment."

"Jess –"

"You know we've never got over each other," Jess said and Rory stared at him. "I know it and you know it."

There was a shocked silence. Rory was too taken aback to notice that the rain was starting to get heavier, soaking her and making her freeze.

"Oh, my God," Rory finally cried, shaking her head and avoiding his eyes. "Why do you always come back and mess with my mind?"

"Mess with your mind?"

"You showed up months after we split up," Rory said angrily. "After just leaving, not even saying goodbye, to say you loved me and then you drove off. You just drove off!"

"You didn't say anything!"

"You didn't give me a chance to say anything!" Rory cried. "You just told me you loved me and before I could even open my mouth you jumped in your car and disappeared leaving me with that, and then the next time I saw you you were at my dorm pleading me to run away with you!"

"I know that was crazy," Jess said desperately. "And I'm sorry, I'm sorry for dumping all that on you but I meant it. I did love you."

"I couldn't have just run off!" Rory exclaimed. "I had college, I had no money and we hadn't even seen each other for a year!"

"I'm glad you said no," Jess said seriously and Rory stared at him. "You were right. But I don't get why you dropped out of Yale for that other guy."

"What?"

"You were happy to leave Yale for him," Jess said and Rory stared at him in disbelief. "To just swan around and hang out with his rich friends."

"Logan had nothing to do with it," Rory said angrily. "I didn't drop out for him, I dropped out because of all my mess!"

"You dropped out because of him!"

"It was his dad!"

"It was his whole family fucking you up! He didn't care, did he? He didn't give a damn that you were wasting your mind, your awesome mind, to start wearing preppy clothes and arrange tea parties!"

"Shut up!" Rory said furiously. "Just shut up! Don't you dare bring that up! You know how it hurts remembering all that!"

"You know what else hurts?" Jess snapped. "You showing up at Philadelphia and using me!"

For a moment neither of them said anything and stared at each other, breathing hard.

"I said I was sorry," Rory said slowly. "I know that doesn't make it okay but I am, you know if I could take it back I would."

"No, you wouldn't!"

Rory stared at him.

"What?"

"You wanted to kiss me," Jess said, staring into her eyes. "I know you did, I know you wanted to be with me, and if it hadn't been for that guy –"

"It was for all the wrong reasons," Rory said tearfully. "You know that."

"It was wrong that you were doing it to get back at him," Jess agreed. "But it wasn't wrong for us to kiss, you know that, and I know it was more than than just you trying to cheat. You know there's always been something between us, tell me there hasn't."

Rory couldn't talk. She just stared at him before slowly reaching in her bag for her key.

"I have to go," she said dully. "I can't talk about this."

"No!" Jess exclaimed. "This is typical! I'm tired of you always doing this!"

"Doing what?"

"Running away from your problems! Something like this happening and you bolting!"

"Oh, this coming from you!" Rory shouted, dropping her bag. "You, who ran away when you found out you couldn't graduate, who didn't even call me after we had sex!"

"You've never forgiven me, have you?" Jess asked and Rory yelled,

"No, I haven't! It hurt!"

"I know I was a jerk," Jess said, moving so he could look at her properly. "And if I could change that I would but you know it wasn't just me! It wasn't just me who fucked up our relationship!"

"I never said it was!"

"You've never told me that!" Jess exclaimed. "When I hated myself all those times you never said you were sorry too! You never called!"

"You were never in one place!"

"You didn't try! I know I ran away from stuff but at least I admit it! And then one day you just show up and kiss me and you tell me I mess with your mind?"

They stared at each other, out of words. The rain was pouring now, drenching them.

"God, can't we move past this?" Rory finally cried. "Why can we never move past this?"

"Because we've never fucking dealt with it! You've never tried to deal with it!"

"I'm going inside," Rory said angrily. "I can't do this anymore."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Rory put her key in the lock and opened the door and then glanced behind her shoulder to see him walking down the steps. He stopped and turned back, staring at her, the rain falling from his hair and then in the same movement they ran to each other and fell into a desperate, furious kiss.

They didn't stop kissing as they made their way into her building, up the stairs and they stumbled into her apartment, furiously tugging off each other's clothes, lost in each other. Rory was breathless as he ripped off her shirt, her bra, knowing it was crazy, but as they heavily fell onto the bed, him on top of her, she stopped trying to be careful, stopped trying to sensible and gave in. A fleeting voice told her this was a dangerous decision, a risky game, but Rory shook it away and Oh God, she thought, as he started to touch her, I don't care anymore. It was them, him, her and no one else.