Yes it has been awhile... Hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter!
Leapyearbaby29- Really? Wow! You are full of questions, aren't you? :) but I try and answer your questions in one! (Taking a deep breath...)
Read Building Up The Wall it will give some background on Beca's past... Lily in the films hardly talks, so I make her talk quite a lot.
Yes you are right on why Beca punched CR, it was to do with PTSD
Chloe knew what happened because Lily told her and Lily knew because she went through the same thing, but different situation.
Chloe screamed because she could fight Beca before her grip became too tight!
Lily got abducted by aliens!
Denise is god!
Fitting is like having a seizure
Kelly knew Beca was taking drugs because teenagers know everything
Hope you guys -enjoy this chapter!
Warning in this chapter I'm back to my dark side!
Chapter 26 No Turning Back Now!
Beca yawned and stretched herself awake, for once she had a good sleep without having further nightmares. True, the tablets had helped and she told herself that it will only be temporary until she finds an alternative way of having a more natural sleep.
She looked at the clock on her bedside table and realise it was early afternoon she cursed and got up to take a shower.
Switching the shower on, she closed her eyes as she felt the hot water hit her skin. Leathering the soap, she let her hand venture downwards, masturbation in the shower was nothing new to her, it wasn't only men that have urges and needed the release.
She had worked herself up but spent a good five minutes trying to bring that release out, but…nothing. There was nothing there, she knows that her body had changed when she got raped by Kommissar and then instead of having a break, letting herself heal and get some rest, she goes and offers her body freely up to men who abused her, taking advantage of her emotional state and desperation, for survival.
To get herself in the mood she needed the drugs, needed the alcohol, even then she still had to find the strength to block out what she was doing, that was why she could have sex with the unnamed woman. But, with Chloe it was natural yeah, she drank but she didn't need that much and she didn't need to force herself or block anything out.
It was on her terms and she felt safe with her… She truly felt loved!
That was why it hurt her so much when Chloe stopped when she did and that was why she was angry towards her.
She kept on trying to get herself off, reaching down to flick the bean, but nothing, she put her forehead on the tiles trying not to cry in frustration.
She knew that she was still not okay. Crying and stressing out for what she had lost would not bring it back.
After having her moment, she got out of the shower and started to get dressed she headed downstairs to grab something to eat. Making her way down she spotted Chloe sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee by her side and in deep thought as she was focusing on her laptop and didn't her footsteps, which made Chloe jump when she greeted her.
"God, Beca you made me jump." Chloe greeted her back placing her hand on her chest. "Sorry." Beca apologised as she sat by her. "Is that the time already?" Chloe stated as she looked at the kitchen clock, then back at her laptop. "What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to do some research on how to make music easy for the hard of hearing, as I have a couple of pupils in my class that are interested in music something to do with the vibrations of the sounds. Then hopefully come up with a solution to make it enjoyable for them so they wouldn't feel out of place. I mean after all, Beethoven coped and Evelyn Glennie who plays percussion. I'm also hoping if it's a success then I can get a full-time position."
Beca was impressed with Chloe's plan and realise how focus she was. "You should have woken me up." Chloe turned to face her and smiled. "I did try, I even got a mirror to see if you were still breathing…" Chloe smiled again. "…but you were so peaceful and you needed the sleep so I left you to it. You look better, more yourself but happier."
"Thanks…I think!" Beca smiled back again. "…For once I slept better then in the past months." Beca replied knowing that the medication she took without Chloe's knowledge played their part. "So, what's the plan for tonight?" Beca changed the subject.
Chloe looked back to her laptop and carried on talking. "Stacey, invited us over for dinner…If you are up for it, that is." Knowing that Beca would hesitate she quickly carried on. "Don't worry Aubrey won't be there, she's gone to her parents for the night."
"I wasn't worried it's just…I haven't spoken to Stacey really since I've been back. I don't know what I say to her."
"It will be fine and a chance to reconnect with her and you won't be here on your own."
"It's not just that it's…" Beca cut herself off as she stared at Chole's face. The bruise on her cheek had faded to that yellowish green healing process that she can cover up a bit better but the cut on her lip was still noticeable.
"I know what you're thinking but I'm okay… we're okay, it won't be an issue if we don't make it one…" Chloe broke Beca off before she could say anything else. "If she asks I will think of something." Beca just nodded and changed the topic back on Chloe's work. "Do you need a hand?"
"You MUST be bored."
"I need something to do if I decide to do the charity event."
"You going to think about it?" Chloe replied in both surprise and happiness. "Yeah Hopefully with meeting the girls again I can get that love for music back. Besides it will give me a chance to properly apologise to Legacy" Chloe smiled at her, starting to feel that the 'old Beca' has return, as she pulled up a chair for Beca to sit by her as she discussed about her research so far.
As the evening drew closer they got ready to head to Stacy's, minus Lily who was out again with Donald.
They knocked on the door and Stacey greeting them both, after inviting them both in, she frowns at the sight of Chloe in the light. Stacy could make out the fading bruise and of course the cut on her lip, seeing how Beca looked away and excusing herself to go smoke outside, she knew who the culprit was.
Stacey turned to face Chloe. "I guess by the way Beca turned away and going for a smoke, she is responsible for those!" Stacey pointed at Chloe's face. Chloe sighed, as Beca sudden actions did not hide what was the truth. "It was in the heat of the moment and looks worse then what it is." Stacy sighed not convinced.
"It's not me you have to justify it to."
"Like I said it was in the heat of the moment. She's starting to be back to her old self, so can you please drop it."
"It's not me you have to convince it to." Stacy said in a tone that Chloe knew what she meant.
"How is she?" Chloe asked changing the subject.
"She misses you and as always try to keep herself busy, hopefully she's in a good mood when she comes back from her parents, else you know who she will take it out on…Especially if she sees that bruise and cut."
"You leave Bree to me…She is trying…" Referring back to Beca. "…she's getting help. So, can we please drop it." Stacy even though she is worried, raised her hands to signal change of topic. "Thank you. So, what have you got planned for tonight?"
"Well I thought after the dinner we can go clubbing, I texted Lily and she and Donald will meet us there."
"Sounds good…We could use a night out." Chloe smiled.
Hearing the front door closed, they turn to face Beca, who didn't make any eye contact with Stacy, Chloe nudged her to talk to Beca as normal, Stacy took the hint. "So Beca… what you say? After dinner we go clubbing, let our hair down?"
Beca made eye contact with Stacy and to their surprise she agreed. "Sure."
The evening was filled with small chat throughout dinner both Chloe and Stacy excitingly talking about the upcoming charity event. "Do you have any further information? I mean would it just be us or will there be others?"
"As from what Emily put on the e-mail they thinking of having an acapella legends theme, so I'm thinking the best acapella groups or tribute acts from the decades."
"Sounds like a fun event."
After dinner, all three Bellas got ready for the night out … Little did any of them know it wouldn't be the night that they were hoping for.
In the club Beca stuck to her promise and stick with soft drinks, Chloe and Stacey at first joined her, but Beca told them to not be afraid of drinking in front of her as she is fine with them drinking. They saw Lily and Donald entering the club and called them over.
Hearing and seeing the good atmosphere in the club Beca was starting to enjoy herself and not feeling too claustrophobic, letting her hair down, dancing with Stacey, Lily and Donald she almost forgot the past six months…
Until…
She turned and saw Chloe harmlessly flirting with an old flame… Tom…
Beca could feel both jealousy and anger coming back. She couldn't understand it as both Chloe and herself still needed to have a proper chat on what kind of relantionship they should have, Chloe was free and single to be with whoever she wanted to be with and do anything she wanted to do.
After watching them for some time and seeing Stacey moving herself into dancing but of course distance herself from too much contact and turning to see Lily and Donald dancing which was close to being given a '18' rating.
Despite her promise and seeing them having fun Beca was able to have a sneaky drink or two in hopes she can push out Chloe's and Tom's flirting with each other.
Beca's can feel her temper rising as she saw how Chloe and Tom were with each other the grinding, smiling, laughing and the touching, she orders herself other drink which she quickly finished off.
The final straw was when she saw Chloe threw her head back and laughed then wrapping one arm on his neck and putting her head on his shoulder. She had seen enough that made her think Chloe was toying with her emotions and wanted to leave before she would do something that she might regret.
Going up to Chloe she forced her best smile on and tap her on the shoulder. "Beca! You remember Tom?" Tom smiled. "Hey, I remember you…You the girl with the voice." Beca just gave him a tight smile and a nod, before facing back to Chloe. "Listen…I'm going to head back to yours…I've an early start tomorrow… y'know with appointments…" Chloe stopped dancing and paid a bit more attention to her, taken in her sudden change in mood. "Are you okay? Do you want me to come back with you?" Beca's mood darken and couldn't keep the bitchyness out of her voice, but lucky for her as the music was playing so loud, Chloe didn't pick up on her tone. "No, it's okay. You just go ahead and enjoy yourself… I won't wait up." Before Chloe could say anything Beca turned on her heels and left.
As Beca was quickly making her towards the exit and trying not to bump into everyone as if she did, she knew she would lash out on someone.
She suddenly felt her hand, being grabbed by someone, feeling the sudden contact, she froze as her survival instincts were about to kick in and she was about to lash out when she saw who the hand belongs to.
"Easy tiger, it's me remember? From a few nights, ago?" Beca tried to remember. "…you know the amazing fuck!" Beca recognise the arrogance in her voice remember all too well that night. "Yeah I remember the lady with no name."
"You are not leaving now are you? The club is just kicking off." Beca not really wanting to stick around more then she had to, told her the same thing that she told Chloe about having an early night due to appointments. Which, was true she had arrange an appointment with the drug and alcohol group then after that it was straight to her counselling session with Jen.
"You're not going home on your own?"
"Well I didn't want to ruin my friends' fun…" The unknown woman followed Beca's eyes and noticed that she was looking at one of her friends in particular-the red head, bumping and grinding with a guy and knew why Beca would feel jealous. "Listen how about I go with you? It's not like we are strangers, now is it? Better me then a random, right?"
Beca knew it was best for her to go straight home by herself, but as she saw her friends enjoying themselves, especially Chloe as she laughed and bumped her hips, hugging Tom, watching her whispering something in his ear, she felt anger and it needed to be release.
Beca remembered how lust filled their night was she agreed.
Taking a taxi to Chloe's, Beca told the unknown woman to wait for her she needed to get the pills out of Chloe's purse that she knew Chloe wouldn't take out with her. Beca had seized that moment to take the entire bottle figuring Chloe had forgotten all about it due to everything happening and Beca not asking for them.
She pocketed the bottle after taken a couple, hoping to numb the pain and calm her down.
Heading towards the bedroom, the sight before her took her breath away as memories of that night came flooding back and remembered how she secretly enjoyed it.
"Someone is over dressed…"
Beca took the hint and began stripping, the unknown woman looking at her up and down. When she called Beca over she made her sit down on the bed and gently pushed her back ending her being on top of the petite brunette. As the unknown woman started to lick and caressed Beca naked flesh, her hand trailed down to her desired target, she could see Beca wanting to be aroused but struggling and turning her head in shame, remembering this morning in the shower as she can no longer get that arousal.
She was ashamed that no matter how turned on she got, she couldn't get wet for them.
The only time she felt properly aroused was that night when she and Chloe had that kiss and maybe that's why she's was angry as it was the first time since everything that had happened to her over the six months she knew it wasn't forced and she could relax but then Chloe put a stop to it and her anger and frustration returned.
"Hey…What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry…I…I" Beca stuttered not knowing what to say without revelling to a stranger about what happened. Instead of hearing Beca apologises the woman put her index finger on her lips and gently shushed her in reassurance. "Hey…hey…hey it's okay… it happens. Besides I've got something that will help you out." The woman replied with a devious smile and a wink to match.
The woman took out a small bottle with white powder and began to tip it over Beca's breasts across the nipples, putting a small trail on her abdomen then a small trace above her pussy. "Yeah, you don't want this stuff inside you, it numbs it like shit." The woman smiled, as she gently in the beginning move her left hand around Beca's flat stomach, loving the feel of her muscles tensing. "Just relax and let yourself go." She whispered gently into her ear as she continued to rub her stomach and moving her hand to explore her body.
Beca felt her heart race, by the woman's soft touch it scared yet excited her as watched the woman's hand painfully slowly head towards where she needed it most.
She hitched in a breath when the woman parted the glistening 'lips' exposing the little pink pebble. It was torture but could feel her arousal starting to pick up.
Closing her eyes, she let the woman carrying on licking her, starting from her abdomen, then capturing her nipple, gently biting and licking on the nipple, whilst her hand went to the left breast rubbing the coke around her breast smearing the power over it.
Beca then bit her bottom lip as she felt her tongue drifting further down to where it was needed the most and the tingle was powerful, that with her feather like tongue Beca could've come right there and then. But, she wanted that tongue fully inside her, wanting that tongue to fill her up and to take all of her woman hood in.
The woman turned them over having Beca on top. "Your turn." The woman sprinkled the remaining coke over the same parts of her own naked body as she did with Beca. Beca hesitated as the thought of the trip to the hospital plagued her mind, the tablets were one thing but after her last experience she was wary, even though the temptation was there, she knew once she took in that white gold she won't be able to come back from it not this time. "You don't need to do that with me…I…"
"Try it… You will love it and feel the sensation of it." Beca couldn't deny that the drug placed on her own body was hot and couldn't even describe the sensation she felt. It felt good and made her body release the frustration she felt building up.
Beca watched with hunger, how the woman's body reacted before Beca could even make the faintest touch on the naked skin.
Beca did the same thing as the woman did to her, stroking her abdomen, then the breast. But unlike the woman, Beca's touches had suddenly turned rougher, she was more aggressive with her biting and more forceful with her tongue, licking and sucking up all the white powder, wanting more and not wanting to waste a single speck of it.
As she went down, she started to lick and suck her off, draining the woman's juice into her mouth not wanting to let go, biting the clit hard and again drinking the liquid that was flowing freely.
Then the woman said the unthinkable, that Beca had to stop want she was doing to hear it again. "What?"
"I said hit me, smack me in the face."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because I see that you need to get your anger out, the way you got jealous of the red head, you want to be with her, you want to be held by her… and I have a high sex drive, I need this." She stopped as she saw something in Beca's eyes and realised what Beca felt towards the red head. "You're in love with her? Aren't you? That's why you left the club! You want her arms around you and not that guy's" Beca stopped what she was doing and could feel the anger creeping out. "You don't know me! Or how I feel." She snapped.
Knowing that she was right and she got the reaction she wanted the woman used this to her advantage and started to rile Beca so that she would hit her.
"You are pathetic, look at you… You couldn't get wet without any help…You're useless. A fucking waste of space…" The words did its job to hurt her but not enough to get the reaction she wanted, "I know why the redhead was dancing with someone besides you she didn't want you, and why would she? You are a fucking useless bitch, I bet at this moment now she's fucking that guy, calling out his name…Screaming it out…Begging him to go faster and harder into her…" That was it! The woman's face went to one side and she felt it again…she felt it a couple more times before the last one was so hard she saw stars and making her give out the loudest moan that she sure the neighbourhood had heard her.
Unfortunately, it wasn't just the neighbours that heard the woman scream out.
TBC