A/N: This one's short but I actually kind of like it. I like the end.

Recap: They're doing a differential, House is obsessing about Wilson, asking what Wilson did for him. Kutner said he bought him lunch, liked monster trucks, and was his conscience. House sets out to find someone else who can do those things for him. Then he hires Lucas to check out his new prospective Wilson. They're spying on him, Lucas points out that House really just wants to know if Wilson misses him and if there's a way to get Wilson to come back. House asks if there is, Lucas says no. He says Wilson's never even mentioned his existence. House goes to Wilson's place for a consult, acts like he's just going to see him at his office. Wilson listens for a minute and then tries to close the door on House. House tries to be different, be nice, be an actual friend, but Wilson says he just wants to move on. House has a conversation with Lucas about friendship. He asks Lucas if he wants to be his friend, Lucas says not really. House starts paying Lucas to spend time with him.

Not Cancer

See, if I really loved Wilson, he wouldn't be this easily replaceable.

I mean, this is just a defense mechanism. If I can convince myself I don't love him, then it doesn't have to hurt as much that he hates me and he's not here.

I need him in my life. He's all I've got. Was all I've got.

I didn't love Wilson just because he bought me lunch and he didn't charge me to hang out with him. I loved him because he's...Wilson. He...life sucked less...when he was in the room.

God, that sounds so pathetically cliché. Maybe I was in love with him. Except for the fact that if I'd loved him, platonically or not, I would have treated him better. Should have treated him better.

I tried. I want us to be different. I want to be his friend, really his friend. All right, maybe I just want him to love me, but I'm willing to at least try and be different if there's a chance that could happen. When he tried to close the door on me, I asked "How are you?" That was probably the first time those words have left my mouth since Stacy. A few months ago when I had a patient I kind of liked, when she got hurt I asked if she was okay. Wilson pointed out that I don't ask people that question, that I've never asked him that question.

He's right. What kind of friend doesn't even ask "How are you?" or "Are you okay?"

I ask if we're okay. Not often. Only when something bad happens. Because I need to know. I need to be sure. He's...if we're not okay, then I'm not okay.

I'm not okay.

I need us to be okay because I need to be okay because okay is a step up from miserable.

I need him.

But I can't have him because I'm an asshole and he hates me.

And it hurts. So I need to distract myself from that.

So I need Lucas.

I don't want Lucas to be my friend. I want Wilson to be my friend. But I need someone, something.

Lucas can't be Wilson. That guy who bought me lunch and likes monster trucks can't be Wilson. Only Wilson can be Wilson. I know this. And I want Wilson.

But as the philosopher Jagger once said...

So...Lucas...hope you like Thai.