Okay, so if you're reading this right now you can skip over it because it probably has nothing to do with you. This is for the anon who reviewed The Little Pink Plus Sign telling me (and i quote) I'm a 'fucking dipshit' because of my 'biased views of abortion'. She also told me I make her sick, but I guess that's irrelevant. Anyway, I'd like to reply to her (if she even is reading this, which is doubt she is because she hates me so much) and remind her that I am writing about characters, and their thoughts are not nessessarily mine. Actually, as horrible as I think abortion is, in certain circumstances I am pro-choice. So yep, just wanted to clear that up :).

"What? No. No. You're lying." I start it off as a whisper, but it only gets louder.

"Lilly-"

"No. Tell me you're lying. Stop it. Tell me you're lying!"

"Lilly I-I...can't." He looks at me with wide eyes and it sinks in.

I try to make it sink out. I don't want her gone. No. I want her to come back. I look up at the ceiling and think 'God, please tell me she isn't dead. Please, please tell me she isn't dead.'

"Oliver, she's not gone. She's still alive. Right?" I say quickly and recklessly.

She is alive. She is alive. She's alive. I keep repeating that to myself in my head, each time it becomes more convincing. Yet...less real.

Oliver quietly shakes his head and I break down. I break down so much, I'm sobbing so uncontrollably I can't even begin to think about what happened. She's gone...she's really gone. My second mother, who took care of my basically my entire childhood. She taught me more than my real mom ever has...and now she's...dead.

I shake my head really fast. "No. No. No." I berry my face in the pillow, using it to muffle my sobs.

I feel Oliver's arms wrap around my back and I start crying even more. I can't process this. I can't come across the fact that she's gone forever. I have no one to talk to about this, because no one gets it. No one gets how close we were or how she acted to me. I was her only grandchild.

I try to shut my eyes tight and imagine nice, peaceful things like rainbows and fields of flowers, but that just makes me more upset. The world is spinning around me and I suddenly feel really, really small. I'm tiny and the world is so big. So big.

My dizziness gets even worse and I breathe heavily into the pillow, getting up temporarily to dash to the bathroom and throw up. Miley notices me and her eyes go wide.

"Lilly? Lilly, what happened?" Her voice sounds far away. I sit down on the toilet and rest my hand on my nauseous stomach, groaning. She's gone. She's really gone. I'm never gonna see her again.

I faintly hear Miley and Oliver's voices. I feel the bus stop abruptly. I feel Miley put her arms around me. But then again, I don't feel it at all. I'm numb. I can't even think.

"Lils, I'm so sorry."

Oliver's voice is enough to bring me back. I grip him helplessly and he drops to my level and hugs me. He hugs me so tight and I sob into his shoulder. I'm dizzy and breathless from my endless crying. I start crying more, until my head is throbbing and I can hardly breathe at all. I pull myself out of his embrace and collapse on the bed, pulling the covers over my head so I'm surrounded by darkness. My heart sinks everytime I remember why I'm crying. My grandmother is dead. She's gone. I'm never going to see her again. I'm never gonna be able to talk to her, even an innocent conversation like the one we had at the hospital. This depresses me even more than I was before. We're never gonna talk again. I start crying in mass amounts now, tears just spilling out of my eyes. I take a deep breath and wipe the tears from my eyes, pushing the blankets up. Oliver and Miley are leaning over me, both of them look sympathetic.

"Hey, Lilly-Pop," Oliver says softly, "We're home."

I sniffle and nod, slowly gathering myself up and stepping out of the bus. Oliver and Miley grab most of our suitcases and I take Caelyn. Caelyn, who will never get to see her great-grandmother again. She'll grow up with no knowladge that she even had a great-grandmother. I kiss her forehead silently and hug her close to me.

"I'm sorry, baby." I whisper. I wanted her to know my Grandma. I wanted her to have a cute relationship with her where she would watch old movies with her and tell her stories, just like we used to.

I get into the elevator, not bothering to wait for Oliver and Miley. The door closes and I look at Cae. She's only met my grandma once, once in her entire life. She's not even a year old, there's no way she's even remembering the one time she did meet her. Caelyn's just going to hear about her with stories and pictures. I feel horrible for her. I feel horrible for myself. I'm going to miss her so much. I already do. I should feel lucky, in some weird way, I guess. My grandmother got to make it to one of the more important days of my life, my wedding. She was completely supportive through every step I took in my life. She was my biggest role model. In a way, I'm lucky enough just to have known her for the past seventeen years.

But there's so much I wanted to talk to her about. I wanted to tell her how scared I am that I'm having another baby. Scared that we won't be able to afford anything, scared that my own mother will never talk to me again because of it. I know what she would remind me how strong and responsible Oliver and I are, and tell me everything would be okay, it always would.

I step into the apartment. It's so weird to be here. Since I've last been home so much has happened; I regained my friendship with Miley, I got married, my grandmother died. It's almost weird to be back. It seems like years since I was last here.

I flip the light switch on and nothing happens. I try it again, and again and still...nothing happens. Whatever, I'll do something about it later. Now I just want to flop on the bed and cry my eyes out.

The door opens at I stare at Oliver and Miley as they walk in. They're both holding a large number of suitcases, obviously struggling with the weight. I don't bother helping them, instead I just lay on the bed face down with Caelyn by my side. I hear Miley's soft whispers and Oliver's loud ones. I make out Miley asking if he wants her to stay and Oliver saying no, it's fine, then thanking her for the ride home. I wonder where our car is, considoring we drove it to Vegas but Miley's the one who picked us up.

I hear the door shut and Oliver comes up next to me, hugging me tightly.

"Lilly, I'm so sorry." He pauses and looks down. "I know how much she meant to you."

"It's okay." I lift myself up to hug him, trying as hard as I can not to completely sob all over his shirt. "She's always here now, I guess."

He half smiles sympatetically. "I love you, Lilly-Pop."

"Love you too, Ollie-Pop."

He pushes a piece of hair out of my face and sighs. "I'm gonna take a shower, Kay?"

I nod as he takes Caelyn and puts her in her playpen, then starts walking to the bathroom, turning the water on.

"Hey, Lils?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know why the water isn't working?"

"No...the lights aren't working either."

He steps out of the bathroom now, looking confused. "Well...did you pay the bill?"

"Uh...no. Did you?" I ask, still hopeful, even though I know he obviously didn't pay the bill, cause if he did we wouldn't have this problem.

"No."

I shut my eyes. "How on earth could you forget to pay the bill?" I yell.

"Hey! You didn't remember either!" Oliver says, defending himself.

"It's not my job to pay the bill, It's yours!" I say, trying to keep my tone steady. I don't want to fight with him, I'm already upset enough.

"Lilly, you could have payed it! Do we even have the money?"

"No! I don't know! What do we ever have the money for? There are so many things we should be paying for that we just can't afford!" I push my hand to my eyes, trying to stop the tears, but they just rush out. I'm a pregnant, sobbing mess.

Oliver opens his arms and I rush into them, shaking against his warm body. I see the worry in his face, and I try to let him know that I'm okay, but I just can't do that. I'm so scared. Scared for the future. if we can't afford anything now, how are we going to afford anything with another baby? How are we going to take care of the baby? We're already struggling to take care of one. But two? That's going to be insane. Fucking insane. My eyes well up with tears again and I let them fall out onto Oliver's shirt.

"I know these past couple days have been tough but I love you."

"I love you too, Ollie-Pop." I try to contain myself as I cling onto him, sobbing quietly. "It's gonna be hard, raising another kid. It's gonna be really, really hard."

"I'm not denying that, Lils."

"Yeah, but what are we gonna do?"

"I don't know." He answers blantly.

I sigh and glance out the window. Tears start welling up in my eyes as I stuff my face in Ollie's shirt. My grandma is gone, we're having another baby and we have no idea how we're gonna afford it, let alone deal with another. Maybe it's gonna be hard. I know it's gonna be hard. But some how we'll get through it, just like I got through my childhood, just like my grandma got through cancer. Maybe at some point, we'll all get through it, get through this crazy, fucked up thing we call life.

...And the ending sucks :(. I'm sorry, I had horrible writers block and I just couldn't think of anything. Next one will be up soon, review :).