October 22, 1962
Lorna looked in the mirror. She tugged on the collar of her new uniform experimentally. It was a little tight, but she knew that moving it down would decrease the amount of protection it offered. So it stayed zipped up.
Raven had opted to unzip hers to accommodate for how stifling it was. Lorna had advised against it, but Raven had just shrugged. She hadn't been very talkative that morning really. She'd agreed to plait Lorna's hair so that it wouldn't get in the way, and tied her own blonde hair into a ponytail.
It was odd how little changes could change everything. She didn't look sixteen in the mirror in front of her. Anya had told her that she looked awesome, like a superhero from one of the comics she read about the Invaders. Lorna just smiled at her. It was going to be hard saying goodbye to her. She was nervous enough about leaving her little sister alone.
Lorna didn't think she looked special though. She looked taller, harsher somehow. Her mother's green eyes stared back at her, reflected into the face of a uniformed, hardened soldier. Lorna looked away. She could almost hear her mother's sigh of disappointment.
"I know what I have to do mom," she murmured to herself, "I told you that after Shaw... I knew then like I know now. I just wish...dad...he won't understand if I don't-"
She folded her arms, cutting herself off. Her mother's voice was in her head again, gently chiming that she didn't need to do this if she didn't want to. Her mother, who had always believed that there was a better choice somewhere, even if that choice had been having her mind wiped in place of her daughter.
There was no way to comfortably deal with these thoughts. Lorna walked into the hall and saw Raven leaning against the wall. She was glaring at her fingers, turning them back and forth angrily. The anger faded when she saw Lorna approaching, but it was still there.
Something really had been off with Raven that morning. Lorna knew she wasn't good with social situations, but she figured that she should say something. They were on the eve of an important fight, so anything bothering her teammate was bound to be important.
Inwardly she scoffed at herself. She wasn't thinking like that anymore, not really. Raven was a friend, and she had gone to her for advice in the past, however indirectly it had been. Surely she could at least listen?
"Is something wrong?" Lorna asked.
Raven gave a short shake of her head. Lorna waited a moment more.
"I can tell something's up," she said.
There was still no answer. God she was bad at this. Maybe she should do what her mother had always done, and waited for the person to talk about it in their own time. Then again, her mother had had a sweet, persuasive manner that had convinced people to talk to her. They usually came around.
Lorna didn't have that manner, and they were going to be fighting maniacs soon. This needed to be resolved.
"I'm not, you know, a genius or anything," Lorna said, "But if you want to talk-"
"Yeah, you and your sister," Raven snapped, "You two are good at that, aren't you?"
Lorna narrowed her eyes.
"Hey, leave Anya out of whatever shit you're dealing with right now," she said.
"She started it!" Raven snapped.
"If Anya 'started' anything," Lorna said, "then I would've been there. She can't go anywhere by herself, and I haven't seen her talk to you for a long time."
Raven gave her a vicious snarl. Lorna folded her arms across her chest.
"What did she say to you?" she asked.
"Were you there with Hank when she told him he didn't need to change?" Raven demanded, "And that we..."
Raven's voice became miserable. Lorna blinked. She thought back to every conversation she'd heard Anya share with Hank.
"I've heard her gush about how she thinks he has cool hand-feet," said Lorna, "She told me she thought you two were cute once. But I hardly think that that's-"
She paused.
"When did they have this talk?" she asked.
"Last night," Raven said.
"That can't be right," Lorna said, "Anya's bedtime is...oh."
She hadn't been there. She'd been kissing Alex on the balcony, convinced that her sister could wait for a few more minutes. Lorna burned with embarrassment and shame. Anya had been asleep when she'd gotten back, tucked up on the bed. She'd thought that Anya had just been so tired that she'd fallen asleep.
Apparently not.
"No, I think this was a private conversation," said Lorna, "I don't...what happened?"
Raven glared down at her hands, tears pricking her eyes.
"Hank was working on a serum to change our appearances," she said, "Not abilities, but it would mean that I didn't have to look like some sort of surrealist painting. It was going great, but last night he told me that he didn't want to take it with me."
She turned her glare towards Lorna.
"Apparently some brat told him that it would be cowardly," Raven said.
"Don't call my sister a brat," snapped Lorna.
She shook her head, feeling the end of her plait hit her neck.
"It's not her fault that you have self-esteem issues," she said.
"What?" Raven demanded.
Lorna let her hands fall from where they stood crossed against her chest to her hips.
"My sister is like my mom," Lorna said, "She sees the best in people. Compound that with her being six. She's the very definition of an innocent. She could see the beauty in Hank's hand-feet, saw them as something useful and special. If you asked her what she thought about your skin or hair she'd tell you that they were bright and beautiful-"
"Like a child's crayon drawing," said Raven.
"I wasn't finished!" Lorna snapped.
Raven drew back. Lorna wondered how many argument that Raven had gotten into where her witty comebacks hadn't automatically silenced her opponent. When children had bullied her or teachers demanded to know what was wrong with her, Lorna had told them honestly and angrily. It hadn't mattered what they had said back.
"She sees beautiful things in other people," Lorna said, "Things that they don't see themselves, things that are worth saving. It's not Anya's fault that you don't think you're beautiful!"
Raven got to her feet. Her skin rippled and Lorna was left staring at her blue skin, red hair, yellow eyes.
"What about this is beautiful?" Raven snapped, "Even a little bit?"
Lorna took a step back. Raven's face was livid and her eyes were misting over.
"So you didn't take the serum?" Lorna ventured.
"No!" Raven snapped, "Of course I didn't! I couldn't do it, not alone!"
She reached up and grabbed fistfuls of her red hair.
"This doesn't even feel like hair!" she snapped, "It's all slick and it sticks to my neck! It's not normal Lorna! None of this is normal!"
Lorna finally found her voice.
"Why would you want to be normal?" she asked.
Raven blinked at her with her yellow eyes, her lower lip trembling.
"Think about where normal gets you," Lorna said, "Think about what you can do with average! Nothing. Nothing at all. People who are normal just walk around with their heads down, not paying attention to anyone or anything."
"You make it sound like normal's a bad thing," Raven said, "Your mother was normal."
She stared at Raven.
"My mother was not normal," she said, "My mother wasn't a mutant, but she had a caring, amazing manner that can't be called normal. She looked at the world, really looked at it. My mother was an artist and her mediums were forgiveness and understanding. You look me in the eye and tell me that's normal!"
Lorna panted, her fists clenched.
"Mutants can be normal too, if they want," she said, "If they keep their heads down. Normal, average people are useless. They don't do anything to help anyone, never do anything. They're just a statistic."
She flexed her hands. The metal in the room began to vibrate.
"I can do things with this," she said, "I can make things move, fight people, build things. I can do amazing things when I'm not normal."
Lorna let her hands fall to her side. The metal in the room stopped vibrating.
"You can do amazing things," she said, "And that's beautiful."
Raven bit her lip and looked to the ground.
"You don't have to take the serum," Lorna said.
Her friend hugged herself. Lorna ventured before tentatively wrapping her arms around her.
"It's okay you know," she said.
Raven sighed, her body shaking. Lorna stood there for a few minutes, wondering if there was anything else she could say. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the clock. They needed to get to the others if they didn't want to be left behind.
"Raven, we need to get going," Lorna said.
Raven nodded. Lorna pulled away. She half-expected Raven to turn into her blonde form again, but Raven kept her blue form.
"You're right," she said, "We should, uh, get going."
"Yeah," Lorna said.
A smile blossomed on Raven's face, tentative, but genuine.
"Let's go get Shaw," she said.
Anya stared out the window. Her father and sister, as well as Hank and everyone else, had already left. It had been ten minutes ago, and she'd watched them leave from the door. When she hadn't been able to see them, she'd climbed up to her mother's room and watched them from the window. They were going to go to some hanger somewhere.
She didn't want them to go. Anya had wanted to tell them that, but how could she? They were already dressed in blue and yellow, looking like superheroes or soldiers off to fight evil. How could she beg them to stay when they looked like that?
All Anya could do was watch them. Lorna had leaned down and given her a hug before she went.
"I'll be seeing you soon," she said, "So stay safe, and stay calm."
"Okay," Anya whispered.
"I love you," Lorna had told her.
"Love you too."
Her sister released her. Anya's father had walked up as well. He gave her a long look before kneeling and giving her a crushing hug. Anya's eyes widened. Her father didn't hug her often. He would pat her head or shoulder, grin at her, hold her hand, but he wouldn't hug her. The last time he hugged her her mother had fallen asleep.
She had to fight back tears.
"I love you very much," her father said.
"I..I love you too dad," Anya said.
Then she had watched them leave. She was still watching them leave. Anya could feel the jitters starting. She could feel a knife pressing up against her throat, and she had to tell herself that the red man wasn't there. He couldn't hurt her because he wasn't there. She was alone, and that was fine.
Her hands shook. She was alone, and nothing was going to happen to her. Anya should worry about them, not about her. They needed to have all of her worry. She had to stop being so selfish, but her hands wouldn't stop shaking.
Anya looked over at her mother. She swallowed and began to weave her way through the IV cords. With trembling hands she climbed onto the bed and under the covers. Anya squeezed her eyes shut and carefully placed her mother's arm over her.
The jitters began to stop. If she just kept keeping her eyes closed, she could pretend that her mother was awake, that she was really with her. Tears squeezed through her eyes, but at least now she could focus all of her worry on her father and sister.
That made things a little better.
A/N: There are five chapters left in this fic. I also wanted to tell you all that I'm going to be doing another story with these characters based on "X-men: Days of Future Past" because I'm a sucker for trilogies.