"Ethan, it's nice to meet you. You seem like a great kid. I would be honored, to be your dad."
Ethan cuts him off, "So, that's a yes?"
"I'm sorry, buddy. I am not your father," Elliot reveals.
"Are you sure?"
"It is impossible," Elliot confirms, "I didn't sleep with your mother then."
"Oh," the kid's heart sinks.
Olivia looks at Elliot, shooting him a look, and saying nothing.
"I should go," Elliot turns towards the door.
"I don't know what I missed, in the conversation. How do I know that the two of you didn't decide it was best for me not to know the truth?" Ethan wonders.
"You can have my DNA."
The following day, when she gets home, she hands him the report from the lab. He's sitting in front of the TV, when she places it in front of him. He studies it, closely.
"I am sorry to disappoint you, but he's not your father."
"I can see that. So, who is my father?"
"It doesn't matter."
"I want to know."
The following morning, when she arrives at work, John has already arrived. She goes over to his desk, and puts the lab report on his desk. He looks up at her.
"What's this?"
"The answer to your question," she answers.
"I'm sorry. I thought he had the right to know."
She points to the piece of paper. "Read it."
He reads it, quickly, and looks up at her. "Liv, I'm sorry."
"Now I have a kid, who not only lost his best friend, less than two weeks ago, but got his hopes up, about finding his father. I am not the one that you should be apologizing to."
"You're right," he agrees, "Can I ask you something?"
"What?!"
"Why don't you just tell him who it is?'
"Because if he finds out, everything will change."
"Change is good."
"He will hate me. He will never understand."
"He might hate you, for never telling him. He's your son, don't you think he deserves to know who his father is?"
"I am his mother, I get to make that decision. I get to decide, if, and when I tell him."
"He's sixteen, I think he's old enough to understand."
"I don't even know if it's him that I am worried about."
"What do you mean? You're afraid the guy will find out?"
April 16th 1996-
She waits, anxiously for the technician to begin. She takes a deep breath, as the ultrasound tech squirts the gel onto her stomach. She watches the screen, as the image of her unborn child appears. The baby looks like much more than just a peanut, now. The doctor looks at her, and asks, "Do you want to know the sex?"
"Definitely," she admits.
"Congratulations, you're having a boy," he reveals.
April 21st, 1996-
She sits on a park bench, watching, as people pass. The unborn baby inside of her, kicks her in the side. Though her stomach has grown, some in the past weeks, it's not noticeable, under her jacket. She watches, as a mother passes by, with a baby, in a stroller. The woman's husband walks alongside her. Olivia is hit by a sense of guilt.
Her son will never know that. Her son will never know his father, at all. She feels guilty, about the way it all happened. It was definitely not planned. It was the definition of accident. She finds herself wondering what kind of life her son will have, without a father.
She feels guilty that they will never know each other. She tries to keep her thoughts from going on a course all their own, but she can't.
She looks up, from her desk, and looks around the room. Some of her colleagues, are walking around the squad room. One is pouring a cup of coffee. One heads for the bathroom. Two of them sit at their desks. She feels the that even though she's revealed that she has a son, the guilt is still eating away at her. She swallows hard, and without a word, she leaves the room.
She heads into the ladies room. She washes her hands, and takes a look at herself, in the mirror. She shakes her head.
"You're everything you never wanted to be," she reminds herself, quietly.
Ethan knocks on the door, not entirely sure why he's there. The door comes open, and a tired face, greets him. Kelly smiles at him.
"What are you doing here, buddy?" she asks, with a baby in her arms.
He shakes his head, "I don't know."
"Come in," she insists.
He steps into the house. It's complete chaos. There is baby stuff everywhere. He is surprised, because he has only ever seen this house with everything in it's place. The baby, who lies in the bassinet, nearby starts to cry. Without a word, Kelly slips the sleeping baby boy into his arms. She heads over to the basinet, and scoops up the little girl. He carefully takes a seat, on the couch. She takes a seat next to him, as she pats the baby.
"They remind me of you, and Nate," she admits.
He looks at the little boy, who is sound asleep, in his arms. "How so?"
"One is laid back, and quiet, and the other is never quiet. His little girl, is just like him."
"Where is Chris?"
"At work."
"You're solo, with two babies?"
"It wouldn't be the first time."
"Kelly, I guess I came, because I didn't know where else to go. I always came to Nate, to talk."
"You came to him, to talk?"
"He was actually a great listener."
"What's on your mind?"
"Why won't she tell me, who he is?"
"Why do we keep secrets, at all?" she answers, with a question.
"She says that she was trying to protect me, but I don't know if I believe that."
"Maybe it wasn't just you that she was trying to protect."
"I get that."
"Do you know who he is?"
"Donovan," she answers in exhaustion, without thinking.
"Donovan?"
"I am sure that's not his real name, but that is what she called him."
He scratches his head, "Wait, so she didn't even tell you, who he was?"
"No."