Thanks for all your lovely and encouraging comments guys xx if you have any fic requests just PM me. Eyes is nearly finished, just a few more chapters to go, then I'll get some of my other fics finished then I'm working on a new fic called "the silent rogue" about a sinister Avox who has his eye on an unfortunate escort...any guesses? ;) any ways stay tuned and keep the reviews coming it spurs me on! You effing ROCK!

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Effie's POV

It had been a good 20 or so minutes before I'd heard his key in the lock. I'd had time to sit and think and remember. I already knew all the answers before I'd asked him but I wanted to hear it from him first.

As soon as I'd brought it up. The memory. He changed.

A sadness fell about him and he was again a man I did not recognise.

The Haymitch I knew or remembered was so sure of himself.

Confident, not much of a charmer but charming all the same. Along with that he was rude and crass and ignorant, nothing like what he had been since I 'woke up' he'd been constant and kind and caring.

How was I not supposed to feel like he was hiding something?

When I'd asked him and he'd confessed, slowly and surely little bits of the short time before my incident had crept back. I'd gone into that shower of my own accord. He hadn't forced himself on me. I'd gone in there for one thing and one thing only. Him.

When I thought about 'why' I remembered that we had been having dinner, dinner with guests. I'd remembered that his hand had been at my knee, the look that had been in his eyes and the feelings that had stirred up inside of me. I'd wanted him. I'd needed him.

I pushed deeper and darker into my brain into the memory of that day and remembered something else. A telephone call, Cinna, I couldn't remember what it had been about but I remember I had been distracted. Lured out of concentration by a hot and heavy hand at the back of my thigh and lulled into a daze by a pair of dark grey eyes. His eyes. Haymitch's eyes.

"Come here please Haymitch" I'd asked. Then he'd followed me from my room into the kitchen and dining area. I wanted as much clarity as I could get, to come to terms with what had happened between us.

'Familiarity' the doctors had said 'if you find it cling to it' so this was me, clinging, playing out the memory until I'd found my own answers.

He was against me in seconds and I found myself wedged between him and the table. Familiarity.

I took his hands and placed them at my waist. Familiarity.

My gown felt loose and our closeness felt dangerous, intimate. Familiarity.

"I remember this" I breathed. My nose grazed the stubble on his jaw and I heard his breathing quicken. I closed my eyes and inhaled him, pushing my chest into his, feeling the bulk of his arms with my hands. Familiarity.

I felt aroused. My lips parted to suck in more air, I too was struggling to control my nerve. My breath became heavy and quick and soon matched his and I felt him grip me tighter.

"Did I love you Haymitch?" It was almost a moan. I scaled the barrel of his neck with the tip of my nose and he let out a hungry sigh.

"I think you might have. Once. Before this all-"

"Did you love me?" I asked impatiently. Flash backs from the shower were whipping through my mind. I remembered kissing him, devouring him as he took control of my body and pushed me up against the cool tiles.

"I couldn't admit it at first but I loved you, yes." His hands slid up from my waist and cradled the sides of my head. He forced my mouth up towards his, the skin of our lips just breaths apart.

"I think I'd loved you for a long time Effie. I wasn't brave enough to admit it until...until I-" his fingers raked into my hair and he pushed himself harder into me. I gripped the lapels of his shirt with my fists and bit down hard on my bottom lip. Anything to stop me from kissing him. I wanted to hear it first. "Until I thought I might lose you" he finished and an impatient and vocal sigh escaped me "Haymitch..."

"I love you Effie" he whispered as he pushed me back slightly to catch my eyes. His were stern and serious, mine were lost and bewildered.

There was a feeling inside of me for this man but I didn't know if it was hate or love or just plain lust. He was a fool for not telling me sooner. All I had done was build a wall around myself to protect myself from him. He had been hiding something important from me and I'd lost all trust for him, distanced myself because for all I knew, what he had been hiding could have been the end of us.

But, it hadn't been the end. It had been the beginning. The start of us, the start of something stupid and wonderful and crazy.

It hurt me that he hadn't wanted me to remember that. Like HE had decided that I would have been ashamed about it, about him. That I couldn't and shouldn't be in love with him at all. He didn't know me. Not really. Not anymore.

I let my lips fall to his jaw and then I pushed him away.

"I need a little time" I choked. I missed his warmth already and it confused me. I wanted him so bad but up until less than and hour ago I'd detested his presence.

I thought back to the memory of me twirling in my ivory dress, of Haymitch standing in my door way, gazing at me intently, calling me beautiful. I got butterflies and my cheeks suddenly felt warm, exactly how I must have felt when it had happened. Familiarity.

I remembered looking into his eyes and not wanting to leave. Quite like this moment now. Familiarity.

I remembered thinking of those eyes of his, grey and sparking as I'd spent the evening chatting with Jacque Winters about dancing mermaids. I'd always wondered how on earth I could forget the rest of such and evening with the acclaimed movie star but it had been him. Haymitch. He'd been on my mind, in every thought, every tick of my watch had wanted to bring me closer to him.

But still. So many gaps. The accident, the time before the dinner, so many holes that I felt I could fill if I could just had the strength

"I need to sleep..." I said in a sorry tone. I felt him deflate at my unwillingness to take tonight any further. I just felt so close to unraveling all I my unanswered questions and if I stopped and kissed him now I feared I would never figure it out.

He gave me a respectful nod and backed away, dropping his eyes to his feet.

"This isn't over Haymitch" I reassured "I just need a little time." Then I left him to his own thoughts whilst I went to undig mine