Excerpted from the Employee Handbook of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. Chapter 82, Travel. Subheading, Space travel. Subject: Crash Landings. Page 293,221
The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation always has the safety and satisfaction of its customers in mind. Starships constructed by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation are thoroughly and carefully tested, re-tested, and re-re-tested to ensure that they comply with all Galactic safety guidelines. Officials from the Safety and Civil Reassurance Administration carefully inspect each starship before it is put into service. It is therefore virtually impossible for any starship constructed by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation to fail and require a crash landing.
Of course, the possibility that a starship may fail, despite all measures and requirements being taken, does exist. For this reason, it is vitally important for all Sirius Cybernetics Corporation employees who travel using one of the company starships to be aware of emergency landing procedures.
All Sirius starships are equipped with the latest in safety features, including emergency teleportation pods, Float-A-Safe suspension tanks, and Never-Squish impact pads on the interior, which is all well and good as long as one knows how to use them. This information is available from the robot flight personnel who will happily provide it just before take-off, after which the information is automatically deleted from the robots' memory banks to prevent them from repeating it. In the opinion of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, anyone who was not paying attention deserves whatever they get.
In the event of a crash landing, the ship's computer will automatically try to land on water or another soft surface. If neither surface is available, the ship will crash on the softest substance its sensors can locate. Those on the ground who see a starship about to crash and do not see any soft surfaces nearby would be wise to find cover, since the ship could attempt to land on you.
To be continued...