They spent the next week trying to pay more attention to the respective other and spending more time together. Alex's tight schedule didn't allow it much but they at least tried. They hadn't talked much more about it and Jo could feel there was still a lot that had to be discussed but she was gonna wait until a better timing. When Alex had decided, she thought. Once he had decided, what job he was going to take, he would have more time to spend with her and more time to talk about everything. Her problems… well, she had decided she wasn't going to think about them again, ever.
February was creeping up on them and the entire hospital was getting excited about their upcoming celebration. Grey Sloan Memorial hospital was hosting a magnificent gala, to celebrate their huge successes from the last year and trying to ring in a new year of hope and top-notch healthcare. They would be talking up sponsors and taking in donations for new projects and everything else that was needed badly. Usually, Jo liked going to festivities of the likes but this year, it seemed like another thing put on her list that she didn't have time or nerves for. She had just met for coffee with Connor who had asked her about a certain surgery technique and gratefully noted down her advice on it when she ran into Alex on her way out of the cafeteria. She smiled up at him.
"Hey there," she said, happy about the random meeting.
"You know, it's hysterical how you can't see how he's shadowing you," Alex commentated on what Jo thought must have been her coffee date with Connor. She frowned.
"Where's this coming from all of a sudden?" she asked him tentatively, not wanting to get into a fight again over the same old story.
"You know, I do realize that you are texting with him constantly, and you go out for drinks with him every other night-," Alex started.
"With him and all the other residents," Jo corrected him with watchful eyes.
"Yeah, whatever. I heard him talk about how he's gonna win you back again towards some other stupid resident the other day," Alex pointed out to her. Jo looked at him doubtfully.
"You are making that up," she accused him, slowly getting irritated with Alex's childish behavior. He shook his head at her, walking away. She followed him and pulled him into an empty stairway before resuming their talk.
"Alex, you need to get over this fantasy of yours," Jo started.
"I AM NOT MAKING THINGS UP FOR GOD'S SAKE," Alex yelled at her, Jo taken aback.
"Don't yell at me, Alex," she shot back angrily. "I don't know why you keep going on and on about that but I told you, I'm sick and tired of it. I'm not in the position to do anything about Connor continuing his residency here and I'm sorry you're uncomfortable about it but I told you, there's nothing going on between him and me," she was on the verge of yelling as well.
"I'm not saying there's anything going on between you two but you can't be that blind or dumb to not see what he's up to," Alex blamed her. Jo flung her hands up in frustration.
"What do you want me to do? Go tell him to leave? Leave his residency behind? Leave Seattle? Because you are so threatened by one of my exes that you can't lead a normal relationship with me anymore?" Jo yelled at him madly.
"Why don't you just cough it up and accept that he came all the way here for you?"
"Why would I? It's not true!"
"How about we just… we just end this right here and right now and you go be happy with him," Alex replied gruffly, making her eyes wide.
"You don't mean that, Alex, stop it. You're mad, I can see that but we have no reasons to separate now. Stop being such a child about it," she reprimanded him, feeling how desperation filled her insides. She couldn't believe he was actually talking about breaking up. And she couldn't even think of a plausible reason why.
"You spend more time with him than me anyways," Alex pointed out half-heartedly, already knowing she was going to bite him for that. He didn't know what had overcome him but the sight of Connor talking to his girlfriend again, especially in the face of Alex still not quite being able to talk to Jo about things normally again, it made him mad. And if he could see his own mistakes so clearly, she surely could. She surely didn't wanna be with him anymore, right?
"And whose fault is that, may I ask?" Jo snapped. "You have been ignoring me. You have been working like a maniac for weeks. You have been pushing me away, not including me in life choices any more, excluding me from anything else in your life as well. You are the one who decided I was not worth the time anymore," she ranted frantically, strands of hair falling out of her pony tail. They stared at each other, both furious, when they heard someone clearing their throat. They both turned around in surprise, seeing a very uncomfortable Stephanie looking at them.
"I'm…. I'm sorry," she told them in a quiet voice. "I… I just wanted to remind you that we have to be at the gala in two hours… maybe it's time for you guys to get ready as well… except if you don't plan to go…," Stephanie stumbled out with a shivering voice. Jo looked at her apologetically.
"No, it's fine, Steph, thanks for telling us. I'll meet you in the locker room in a second, okay?"
Stephanie nodded, glancing at a still steaming mad Alex anxiously before leaving them alone again. Jo turned around to look at Alex, deciding what to do next.
"Let's get this over with, okay? I don't want to ruin the hospital's big night just because we are being ridiculous," she looked at him piercingly. "Let's talk about it when we get home, alright?" She took a step closer to Alex, who seemed to be trying to calm down as well. The only thing she needed right now was Alex telling her this wasn't over. This wasn't a break up. He nodded before turning around and walking away.
Jo and Stephanie had both gotten ready in the locker rooms and driven over together. Jo could feel how even between them tension was palpable. She hadn't wanted Stephanie to overhear their fight and she felt responsible for her friend's mood swing. When she turned the car into the parking lot, she killed the engine and turned around to look at Stephanie.
"Are you ready for the party?" she asked her in a half-hearted attempt to cheer her up a bit. Stephanie smiled at her sadly.
"Sure, let's go," she replied, already getting out of the car. Jo followed and they entered the ballroom. Everything looked spectacular. She mingled among the residents for a while, keeping a look out for Alex who hadn't seemed to have arrived yet and then started talking up the sponsors for a while. It was 9.30 when she finally got her hands on some food from the buffet and sat down on one of the round tables besides Stephanie and some other doctors and watched couples dance to the soft tunes of the band while eating the nibbles half-heartedly. She really wasn't hungry. She stared down at her food.
All of a sudden, she could feel how someone – or let's say Alex, since she knew the feel of his hands – put his hands to her waist and got closer from behind, kissing her neck. She startled wildly, almost jumping at his touch.
"Alex," she squealed, her heart racing. "You scared me," she closed her eyes briefly to calm herself.
"Sorry," he said sheepishly, looking fabulous in his evening suit, as always. She smiled up at him insecurely, trying to find out what was going on. He looked at her for a second before voicing his request.
"So, do you wanna dance?" he asked her, shyly. Jo looked up at him, touched. His eyes were studying her with an apologetic glint and he actually looked nervous. She smiled and nodded, getting up with his help. They had joined hands and he led her to the dance floor where he swiftly pulled her into a close embrace and they started swaying to the music. Alex arms held her tightly, she could feel how his muscles were rigid around her, and his movements were small. She sighed and leaned her head against his chest, breathing in his scent. She could feel him bend down towards her and kiss her naked shoulder tentatively, hesitantly nearing her ear.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered into it, making Jo shudder. She closed her eyes and gulped, she really didn't want to start crying. After a few seconds, she opened them up again and glanced up at Alex, who was ready for her to match their eyes. They got lost in each other's eyes for a while, making out all the emotions that were swimming within them. Pain, fear, jealousy, desperation, regret. When Alex pulled Jo a little tighter, she cupped his cheeks and kept looking at him straightly.
"Do you wanna go talk about it?"
Jo nodded without hesitation. He gave her a small smile before breaking their embrace and pulling her off the dance floor towards the lobby where he searched for an empty room to usher her in and talk without being overheard. The first room he could find looked like some kind of office.
They walked into it and Alex closed the door behind him. Jo walked over to the desk and turned around looking at Alex, leaning on it. Alex sighed deeply. "Look," he started, not really knowing what to tell her. He hesitated, giving Jo room to jump in.
"Alex, I don't even know anymore what we're fighting about," she started, articulating herself a little confused as well. "I mean, we yell at each other and we are angry at each other and we can't seem to be able to be in the same room without exploding… but what is it really all about?" Alex, who had just been pacing up and down the room, stopped to look around at her.
"Are you being serious right now?" he barked at her.
"What?" she barked back, equally mad. Alex just wanted to reply to her with numerous colorful words when her phone rang. "Ugh," she yelled out, clearly frustrated. She shook her head. "Just ignore it," she said.
"No, no, go ahead and take it, I for one already know who's calling you," Alex said, mockingly calm and looked at her expectantly. Jo rolled her eyes and got her phone out of her clutch. She took one look at the display and sent it to voicemail. She looked up at Alex who made an exasperated sign at her.
"What?" she asked a little desperately.
"Well, did I or did I not tell you?" he asked pointedly.
"I can't control who calls me, you know," Jo answered madly.
"Well, why do you think he keeps calling you?"
"I don't even know what to tell you anymore, Alex," Jo said matter-of-factly. "I mean, what do you want me to tell you?" Alex sighed, clearly frustrated with the situation. "I mean, I can't control who calls me and I can't control who wants to spend time with me… and you keep telling me you are not jealous and you trust me… I really don't know what to say or do anymore that will please you," she begged him. Alex let out a chuckle.
"It's not you I don't trust. It's him. You know that," he said sulkily.
"Alex, we've been over this. You don't have to trust him. You don't know him. But you know me. And you say, you trust me. So, please, let's just carry on with our lives. Or you tell me what the hell it is that makes you so angry," Jo clarified.
"Don't you see? We are fighting about him and in between he keeps calling you – since, even though you put your phone on silent I can see it flashing his stupid picture every couple of minutes. You don't even wanna admit that he is so into you and you enjoy his advances on you and that's why you don't want to stop all this," he said.
Jo looked at Alex with utter amazement. How could he be so insecure? "Why are you so threatened by him?" she asked. Alex let out a yell.
"I am not threatened by him!" he yelled in frustration. "I just can't stand it if people lie. If you don't wanna be with me, just say so. If you'd rather be with him, go ahead and do it, I just can't stand the lying and pretending anymore," he said, still pacing around the room.
"I thought you trusted me," Jo just said. Alex hesitated.
"Well, maybe, that got compromised, too," he commented after a while. Jo looked at him for a second before putting her face in her hands and sighing. "You know what, you do whatever the hell you want and leave me out of it," Alex started furiously, brandishing his arms in the air.
"Alex," Jo said sharply. If looks could kill. She pushed herself from the desk and walked passed him towards the door.
"So now you're just gonna walk out? Great," Alex commented before Jo had reached the door and turned the key to lock it. She stood there for a second to collect herself. Then she turned around and walked towards Alex who stood, looking out the window which was actually barred with blinds and his arms in his sides. She stepped right in front of him, trying to catch his eyes. When he still wouldn't look at her, she took her hands and turned his face around.
"Look at me," she said in a firm voice. Alex reluctantly turned his head towards Jo, who looked at him with blazing eyes. They paused for a second before Jo lunged and kissed Alex square on the mouth. Alex looked completely untouched and didn't move an inch. Jo looked at him exasperatedly.
"Just kiss me, will you?" she asked, before putting her hands on his chest and inching closer. She looked at him with a forceful stare before leaning in again and this time, Alex couldn't stop his inner demon and he let her kiss him and suddenly embraced her, taking her whole body off the ground and lunging into a rough, passionate kiss. Jo moaned loudly, realizing the emotions that met her. She put her arms around his neck and let all her own emotions flow into the kiss as well. The fire and passion came out of nowhere, and it took them both vigorously. They dueled wildly, almost as if they were fighting with their bodies, expressing everything that they couldn't say with words.
"Oh God," Jo murmured against his lips, trying to get his jacket off of him feverishly. He picked her up, still kissing life and death out of her and easily carried her over to lean against the desk. She got her arms off around his neck and went to work at his belt. He groaned when she succeeded and touched his man parts softly. He bit down on her lower lip before pulling up her dress and trying to get underneath it. Jo, who couldn't help anticipating the fast move forward from all the tension that has been jammed up inside her, moaned, and threw her head back, when Alex simultaneously run his fingers up her thighs teasingly slow and kissing her neck hungrily. Jo opened her legs slightly, giving him room to stand and matched her eyes with his. Alex's stare was burning. She breathed heavily, feeling how her insides had started to turn to mush and her knees shivered. She held herself up to his neck with one hand and had put the other one around his waist, while he was still moving his hand upwards teasingly slow. "Alex," she sighed heavily, before he slowly put his fingers on her panties, teasing her through it. She couldn't take it anymore. She needed him, now.
"Alex, please," she breathed out again making him look up at how determined her voice sounded. He smirked. "Oh, cut it out," she growled before pulling him down into another mind blowing kiss. Her cell phone kept flashing with incoming calls from the person they were actually fighting about but they both were too busy noticing. Alex moved both his hands to her hips and slowly freed her of her panties and put them in his pants pocket. Jo stared at him hungrily, swollen lips and dress askew. Alex's gaze didn't move when he took another step closer to her, pressing his steel hard erection into her thigh, while reaching underneath her dress and starting to encircle her clit. Jo's eyes fluttered shut immediately, trying to support herself with her arms on the desk. Alex took two fingers and slid them inside her teasingly slow, making her moan. His other arm snaked around her body to pull her closer, making her look at him fiercely. They lunged into another kiss, only being interrupted by countless moans and the shallow breathing they were both victim of.
"Alex," Jo murmured into the kiss after a while. "I'm," she stuttered, his tongue dissuading her from saying anything. "Alex, please," she said again, bringing her hand that she wasn't using for support around his neck down to his throbbing penis getting him out of his confines of the boxers Alex was wearing. She stroked him intensely, making him beg for mercy now. He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead on her shoulder, basking in the sensation of Jo's soft fingers pleasuring him. She knew what she was doing and while she could barely think due to Alex's fingers doing his magic with her, she didn't need to. She had done this to him countless times in her life. She knew what she was doing.
"Jo," Alex groaned loudly, looking back up at her face. He was close, she could feel it. She nodded. He put his arms around her and picked her up to walk over to the office chair and sat down, pulling her on top of him. Good thing Jo had chosen one of her more flowing dresses. Made things a lot easier. She inched closer to where she needed to be right now and looked at his face. His gaze made her shudder. It still amazed her, what all Alex could say with a simple look he was giving her. He run his right hand up her arm and cupped her cheek, making her lean into it and gave him a painful look. Don't give me those eyes. Jo pleaded with him in thought. I love you, too. She leaned down to kiss him, longingly, intensely.
Alex cupped her hips with his hands and guided her down onto his erection. They both stopped in ecstasy and moaned. "Oh God," Jo emitted loudly, feeling how her insides embraced his penis, how she had missed that sensation of him grinding into her. He groaned. God, she felt good. It would never cease to amaze him how different it was with Jo. How he couldn't even think anymore once they got going. How his mind just stopped working and all that mattered was how staggering it was being inside her. Once they got accustomed, Jo started moving, steadily growing faster, their breathing becoming erratic in unison. Alex's left hand held her hip tightly while his right hand fiddled with her dress and pulled it down to tease her nipples.
"You feel so good," he muttered in excitement, leaning his head back on the chair, watching her ecstasy. Alex could feel how close she was. She was tight and he loved it. He could feel how her hips started to arch barely noticeably and her knees started to tremble even in the position she was in. He moved his arms around her, encircling her, to support her orgasm, to tell her it was okay to let herself fall, he was holding her tightly. Jo leaned her upper body closer to him and stared straight into his eyes while she could feel how her insides started to convulse. He loved to watch her come. She was so beautiful. It was always intense with them but at that moment he felt like she had never come like that before. The anger and hurt and passion all mixed into her orgasm right now. He was so close, too, he needed to fight not to let his eyes close in passion. He wanted to see her face. Her luscious lips. Her heavy eyelids, her burning gaze, watching him intently. They way her breasts moved rhythmically with her hip movements. The curls that entangled her naked shoulders.
Jo felt completely exposed to Alex. He was observing her meticulously. She felt his stare grazing her whole body. He brought them back up to match with hers. They shared a passionate glare before she couldn't hold her eyes open anymore and succumbed to a mind-blowing, gut-wrenching, intense orgasm. His arms held her tightly, her breaths came heavily and she felt safe. Safe in his embrace. A couple of seconds later, she could feel him come inside her and heard him groan loudly. She smiled exhaustedly, letting herself be pulled even tighter to him. God, you are killing me. Jo thought to herself, letting the aftermath of her world-rocking orgasm wash over her, only focusing on Alex's fingers drawing soothing circles on her back as he always did and feeling his somewhat shortened breath on her shoulder.
They sat like this for a while, neither of them talking, just basking in each other's presence. Several minutes later, they could both witness how Jo's clutch tumbled to the wooden floor, shedding its contents including her phone, vibrating loudly on the hard floor. Jo closed her eyes in defeat and gulped. Her heart ached for Alex's pain. She had never wanted him to feel threatened. She hadn't ever wanted for him to think even only for a second that she was straying. I love you, stupid. She thought to herself, trying to hold the tears back. She could feel how his hands had stopped moving and she pushed herself up slightly, looking down at her boyfriend. He looked exhausted. She smiled at him insecurely. "It's okay," Alex said quietly, making her close her eyes and bite her lips. "Go, find him," he said. "He probably doesn't know anyone much here," he stated, averting his eyes.
Jo sighed and then slowly climbed down from him and adjusted her dress before turning around to reach for a tissue and handing it to Alex. She got all her stuff packed up in her clutch again and looked for potential traces of their love making. She couldn't find any. When Alex got up and closed his dress pants and belt up, she looked at him. He walked by her to retrieve his jacket and came to stand in front of her. She had walked back to the spot they had initially stood at and leaned against the desk, pondering. When he stood there, right in front of her, she silently grabbed for his tie and fixed it for him. "Where are my panties?" she murmured faintly, reaching into his jacket pocket.
"Here," he pulled them out of his pants pocket and handed them to her with a crooked smile. She put them in her clutch and stared back at his face. They didn't say anything for a few minutes. Then she shook her head at him desperately knowing exactly what he was thinking.
"No, Alex, I'm not leaving you," she said, pushing herself up from the desk to stand closer. "I love you, you stupid idiot, stop trying to think of reasons why not. There are none," she pouted almost like a 6 year old before kissing him deeply, longingly. They broke when somebody knocked on the door. Both of them sighed.
"Jo, are you in there?" They heard Stephanie's voice call. Jo shook her head at him and waited until she heard the other girl walk away. She rested her hand on Alex's chest for a second before both of their pagers went off. They checked them and saw the 911 call.
"I'll go out the back," Jo informed Alex quietly pointing to the patio door, before stepping up in front of him and reaching up to kiss him one last time. "I'll meet you back at the hospital, alright?" Alex nodded, waiting until she had left and walked out to the lobby himself, trying to figure out what was going on.
After Jo had walked across the patio to go back into the premises of the ongoing ball she headed straight to the bathroom and tried to calm down in one of the stalls. She put her panties back on, wincing at the touch. She was still sensitive, still aroused. She closed her eyes, thinking about how Alex had kissed down her neck, had touched her intimately. She could feel how she was still slightly wet, thinking about the hardness of him. The hardness that he saved only for her. She sat on the closed toilet seat to make her knees stop shivering. She hugged her arms tightly to her body and sighed. They really needed to get over their stupid fight. She couldn't do this any longer. She needed him to be his usual self again. His usual self confident, supportive, loving, 'I don't give a damn' self. She missed coming home to the safety of his arms and soothing of his words. She needed him to stop freaking out about stupid Connor.
Jo put her face in her hands and sighed. She steadied herself and got out, looking at the mirror. She was glad she had decided to take the back way in, she looked a mess. Her lips were swollen and her make-up was a complete disaster. She cleansed her face carefully before putting on new make-up. She was going to have to talk to Connor. He needed to leave. As much as she didn't care about him being in Seattle, Alex cared too much. If there was one thing she did know it was that she didn't care one tiny bit if she never got to see her stupid ex-boyfriend's face again but cared more than anything about what Alex thought. She needed to make him see that. She looked at her reflection one more time before turning around and walking out in the lobby.