A/N: Hey, everyone! Thank you all so much for your feedback! I appreciate it all :) I know Blair (and I, by proxy) makes little sense and it's annoying, but I've decided to embrace her warped logic full stop in this fic haha. The good news is your frustration will be rewarded! I'm sorry for the delay, again, on this. I hope you all enjoy it!
Blair stares at the computer screen in frustration. The words aren't coming for her paper. A royal assistant has sent her a whole spread sheet about wedding details she needs to approve. She's really only interested in one thing these days. She quirks her mouth to the side and gives in to her impulse. She reaches for her pregnancy book beside her. She smiles as she reads over the information for week 17 again. Her fingers trace over the little pictures in the book. This is all happening to her baby. It excites her endlessly. She continues looking at the pages, looking ahead too, until she can't fight sleep any longer. She yawns and rises to her feet. She stops in front of the mirror and undoes the last few buttons of her night shirt. She's starting to show. It's small and she's still able to hide it pretty well, but it's there. She sighs happily as she gently runs a hand over her stomach. She gets situated in her bed, and like clockwork, her phone rings.
"Hello, Dan." She answers the phone with a happy roll of her eyes.
"Hello, Blair." If he hears the satisfaction in her voice, he wisely ignores it. "So, anything I need to know tonight?"
She sighs and settles deeper into her sheets. "No. We're fine." A yawn escapes and she blinks a few times to try to keep her eyes open.
"Were you busy today? Why are you so tired?" They do this every night. He calls her and grills her. She acts annoyed but they both know she loves it. Things have gotten a lot better between them in the last few weeks. They're actually kind of friends again. It's great and it's horrible.
"It's late, Humphrey. That's all." She doesn't have the energy for spunk tonight though. She can hear him breathing, probably deciding how best to continue his interrogation. Her eyes close.
"Wow. No snarky comeback. I've found a way to neutralize you." She laughs lightly at his teasing. "Also, it's like 9."
"Don't get too comfortable. This is a temporary setback. You know my energy has practically—" She can't even get her comment out before another yawn stops her. She sighs. "Doubled. And 9 is late for a pregnant lady." She adds half-heartedly.
"Right." He says softly. "I'm going to let you sleep. I don't know what to do with this acquiescence from you. It's frightening. Night, Waldorf."
"Mmmhmmm." It's all she can manage. She's practically asleep. She hears a faint, sweet laugh and then nothing….until her door is being thrown open.
"Blair—" She sits up in bed sleepily and glares at her mother. "Oh, I didn't realize you were asleep. Your light was on and I thought I heard you talking. Anyhow, you're awake now." She smiles and moves into Blair's room. Honestly. She's twenty years old. Her mother should really knock first. She looks at her watch. "And it's 9 o'clock."
"Some people get tired at 9, ok?" Blair huffs out. "Can this wait?" She lays down on her side again and closes her eyes.
"No, Blair, it cannot. Vera called me about your dress this afternoon. She said you've blown off the last two fittings." She doesn't need to have her eyes open to know her mother is giving her a reproachful look.
"That is simply not true. I only missed one last week. I had—I had school issues to attend to. Education first." She pouts and tugs her sheets closer.
"No. You missed one this morning as well. You didn't even have the decency to call her and let her know. She is a major influence in this city and the industry in which I work. You have to be better than this, Blair." Blair groans and sits up. Pregnancy brain is real. She completely forgot.
"I'm sorry. I forgot." She leans her head back against her headboard.
"You forgot? Blair, you're twenty years old and marrying a prince. You can't forget things!" She shakes her head. "I can't get into this tonight. I rescheduled your appointment for tomorrow at 2." Blair nods and tries to smile. She wisely chose an empire waist, but her bust has definitely gotten bigger. She hopes this dress still fits. Her mother interrupts her worries. "Now, Cyrus' partners are sending a lovely, generous present. They just need to know where."
"What?" There are too many details. She can feel her pulse starting to race. "Oh. Just—I don't know. The reception site? Yes, the reception site." She clears her throat and pulls the top of her shirt closed.
"Ok. Where's that again? I'll need the address too." Her mother looks at her and smiles. Blair's mouth falls open. Where is the reception? She doesn't know if she forgot or if she just doesn't know.
"Uh—Um. Well—" She closes her eyes tight as she tries to remember. Surely she knew this. This is a big detail. "I think—I think it should just be sent here on second thought."
"Blair, his partners are going to be there. It will be embarrassing if other presents are there and theirs isn't. That's rude." Her mother narrows her eyes. "Are other presents being sent here?"
They are now. "Yes." She smiles and runs a hand through her hair nervously.
"Alright then. I still need to know where the reception is." She is so on to her.
"So do I." She mumbles and looks away.
"I'm sorry?" Her mother leans closer and looks at her incredulously.
"I don't know where the reception is!" Blair yells in annoyance and crosses her arms.
"Oh, good Lord." Her mother brings a hand to her forehead and takes a deep breath. "How do you not know where your reception is?"
"I didn't choose the site." She swallows hard. "I chose to let someone else handle the details." She picks at her comforter and avoids looking at her mother. "It's all being planned by a royal assistant."
"You plan everything to the last, minute detail. Everything in your life is planned, from your outfits to silly luncheons. You've dreamt of your wedding for a long time. Now you're marrying a prince and you just hand away…..everything?" She looks back at her mother guiltily. A heavy pause fills the room. "Does this have something to do with Dan?"
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Not everything in my life is planned, mother." She says nervously.
"What does that mean? Are you avoiding the question?" Her mother tilts her head to the side.
"It means I'm having a baby. With Dan. Unplanned." She sits up a little straighter. "To answer your question, yes, my lack of regard for my royal wedding does have something to do with Dan."
"Oh, Blair." She's surprised by the softness in her mother's voice and by the easy way in which her arms encircle her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Blair rolls her eyes. That didn't take long.
"Well, I'm not." Her mother lets her go and looks at her curiously. Blair smiles warmly. "I'm not sorry. There's nothing to be sorry about."
"I disagree." Her mother states flatly. "You're twenty years old and you had your whole, very bright future ahead of you. Now…." She shakes her head. "Now you're going to be burdened with a child. How far along are you?"
"I'm a little over four months." She locks her eyes on her mother. "My baby isn't a burden. It's mine and it's Dan's and I love it already. I still have a very bright future. This just adds to it." She feels herself getting emotional. She takes a steadying breath. "It's not a burden. I'd appreciate it if you never say that to me again. You certainly better never say that to this child." She arches an eyebrow and crosses her arms.
"Blair, this isn't a game or a pet. It's a person. This is a lot of responsibility and I don't know that you're ready for it." She sighs sadly. "I had so many dreams for you…."
"Mother, honestly, if you're going to keep up this attitude you can leave." She says tiredly. "I'm not sad about this. This is one of my dreams. It's happening a little ahead of schedule and under….unusual circumstances, but that doesn't mean that I want it any less." She looks at her mother earnestly. "I don't want my baby to feel anything other than love and how much I want it, how much we want it. If you can't embrace that then….I don't know. I don't know if I can be around you. Fetuses are very sensitive and some of the research suggests that they can hear at this point. Our child, of course, has superior genetics so I'm sure it's developing at an accelerated pace. I don't want it to pick up on this or hear it." She folds her hands in her lap and looks at her mother expectantly. "It's your choice."
Her mother cracks a small smile and shakes her head. "Maybe you are ready." Blair smirks proudly. "So that's why you're avoiding this wedding. You're dreaming about other things." Her mother rests a hand over hers. "You still love Dan."
"Yes, but he doesn't want to be with me after—" She peeks back at her mother. "Well, we had some issues this summer and now he thinks we should be friends for the baby." Blair clears her throat and runs a hand over her stomach. "Which is fine. I'm fine with that." She forces a smile.
Her mother rolls her eyes. "You're not fooling anyone." She eyes her. "I know you. When you want something, you can't let it go. Don't make a mess, Blair. You have two weeks." Two weeks? How did she not realize it was coming up so soon? Blair bites her lip as her mother rises off of the bed. "And, please, for the sake of my health, do not cause an international scandal."
Blair rolls her eyes and waves a hand to dismiss her mother's concerns. When she narrows her eyes at her, Blair decides to be honest. "I—I feel like I can't fight in this situation. I can wait and hope or I can marry a prince. I can't hurt Dan anymore or cause any more problems between us so I guess I have to let him go. Romantically." The idea of that has never sat well with her and it certainly doesn't now. She can almost feel high school Blair losing her mind over how sprung she now is for Dan Humphrey, but she hates the thought of not ever having him again. She pushes the thoughts down. "Why not marry a prince? It's a win-win-win. I'll help Dan by respecting his wishes and I'll help Louis and I'll be a princess." None of that actually feels like winning to her.
Her mother sighs loudly. "Blair, just don't do something you'll regret." She can feel her mother looking right through her so she looks away. "It will only hurt you in the end." Her eyes dart back to her mother's. "And congratulations about the baby. It's going to be quite an adventure." She shakes her head and offers Blair a small smile before she leaves the room.
She doesn't know how long she's been asleep when she's awoken by a strange feeling. She rises to her elbow and rests a hand over her stomach. She's never felt anything like this before. It's like a little butterfly flutter. She gasps when it happens again. She jumps up from the bed and goes to her laptop. The baby's moving. "Oh my God." She says quietly and looks down at her stomach. She places both hands over it gently and smiles to herself. Dan. She has to tell Dan.
She moves quickly up the stairs to the loft. She's more annoyed than surprised to find the door locked. She bends her knees to get the key from under the mat. She walks in quietly, not wanting to scare him if he's asleep. Her eyes widen in shock and her mouth falls open when she sees his office light on. She slams the key on the counter and stomps into the office. He has headphones on and is typing on his computer. She could kill him right now. She's been calling him for an hour and she had to get out of bed and come all the way to Brooklyn because he was listening to music and writing something. He finally notices her and jumps.
"Blair?" He looks at her in confusion. It finally dawns on him that his pregnant ex-girlfriend is in his home late at night. He throws his headphones off and moves in front of her quickly. "Oh my God. Are you ok?" He takes her face in his hands and studies her.
"Oh." She swats his hands away in annoyance. "I am fine, Humphrey."
His eyes close as he breathes a sigh of relief. He looks back at her, confused again. "Why are you here then?"
She shrieks and stomps her foot. His eyes widen and he steps back from her. "I am pregnant! With your child! Is it too much to ask, really, that you pay attention to your phone?"
"Oh, shit." He scrambles to his desk quickly. He grabs his phone and looks back at her. "You called me. A lot." Her eyes widen and he takes another step back. "I'm sorry. I didn't hear it. You were going to sleep hours ago. I'm sorry. I didn't think—"
"Oh, shit." She mimics him and crosses her arms. "Did it ever occur to you that things happen to people, pregnant people, when they're sleeping?" He doesn't move or speak. "Hmmm?"
"Uh, well." He scrunches his face up. "Yes?"
"Then why are you ignoring your phone?!" She can't even control herself.
He moves back to her again and takes her hands in his. Even she can acknowledge how brave the gesture is at this moment in time. "You said you were ok. Are you ok, Blair? You're scaring me." He finishes quietly.
"Humphrey!" She calls out and her anger quickly turns into sadness. She can feel tears forming. "I was calling because something good happened!" She starts to cry. "It's not always bad with me."
"I know that." He says softly. His eyes dart around the room. "What exactly are you upset about?"
"Hummmpppphhhhreeeyyy!" She wails out. "I'm not upset!" His head jerks to the side and his eyes narrow. "Well I wasn't! Then I got here and you are being so dense!" A sob rolls through her. "I just wanted to tell you something about the baby. I wanted you to experience it too!"
"Ok. Ok." He takes her in his arms and runs his hands over her back soothingly. She takes a deep breath and she can feel herself calming down. "I'm sorry. I was stupid. I've honestly been attached to my phone like a preteen girl since the moment you told me you were pregnant. I just got in the zone tonight." He squeezes her tight. "It won't happen again."
She sniffles against his shoulder. "What if our baby has your lack of intuition?" She starts to cry again.
"Blair." He laughs lightly. "I do not lack intuition and I am sure our child won't either." He pulls back and presses a kiss to her forehead. "I bet they're going to be just like you, with intuition to spare." He smiles warmly as he wipes her tears away.
She takes a shuddering breath. "Why do you think that?"
"Well, I'm calm and rational. You're passionate and—" She cuts him off.
"I want my baby to have a father. Do not finish that thought." She glares at him and moves to sit in his desk chair. She's exhausted again.
Dan leans back against the desk in front of her. "So are you going to tell me what happened?"
"Oh!" Her anger and sadness completely dissipate. She smiles wide and grabs his hand. "I felt the baby move. It was a little flutter and then it just kept happening. Over and over again."
Dan's mouth falls open and his eyes widen happily. "Seriously?" He drops to his knees in front of her and looks at her stomach hesitantly before looking back at her.
She rolls her eyes and quickly slides her coat off. "Humphrey, I'm convinced you're trying to upset me tonight." She teases and takes his hand. She places it on her stomach and bites her lip. "I don't know if you'll be able to feel anything. She's not kicking. She's just fluttering or something…..Do babies flutter?" He's quietly watching her as she speaks. She furrows her brow. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah. Yeah" He clears his throat and spreads his hand out wider over her stomach. "It's bigger since I last…." He trails off.
"Oh. Yeah. I guess it is." She runs her hand over his arm tenderly. "You're not going to be able to feel anything through this." She mutters quietly. She undoes the last few buttons of her pajama top so her stomach is exposed.
"Blair…" He says reverently.
"It's just a stomach, Dan." She laughs quietly.
He smiles at her. Her heart does a flip. He looks so young and excited. "It's not though. Our baby is in there." He shakes his head. "That's….That's amazing." He takes her hand and kisses it.
She swallows hard and licks her lips. His eyes are trained on her bump again. "You can—" She clears her throat when his eyes move back to hers. "You can touch it. If you want to…."
He takes a deep breath and rests his hand on her stomach. Their eyes lock and she can feel herself getting emotional again. He smiles warmly before he casts his eyes down to her stomach again. He sighs. "Is it moving now?"
"Yeah." She smiles to herself. "It feels so weird. It's kind of like butterflies." She says softly and places her hand over his and moves it to where she's feeling the movement. "I want you to feel her too." She pouts.
"You're only seventeen weeks, Blair." He laughs lightly. "I think it takes a little more time to feel it from the outside."
She smirks when he looks back at her. "I see you've been doing your reading." He rolls his eyes and rises to his feet.
He leans against the desk again. "Yeah, well, despite tonight's events, I'm not trying to incur your wrath right now."
"So you are still intuitive." She says happily. She leans back in the desk chair and moves her hands over her stomach as she moves the chair from side to side. "I can't wait for you to feel her, Dan." She smiles and looks down at her bump.
"Ok. I'll bite." He breaks her reverie and she looks up at him in confusion. "Do you think it's a girl or are you practicing wish fulfillment?"
She bites her lip. "I think it's a girl." She takes a deep breath. "I know it's a girl." She smiles back at him confidently.
He breathes out a surprised laugh. "Yeah?"
She nods and starts to rise from the chair. Dan moves to her quickly and helps her up. "I don't want anyone else to know, but I just have a feeling." He smiles and brushes her hair from her face. "I've been wanting to tell you, but it's a weird thing to bring up without sounding crazy."
"I don't think you sound crazy." He shakes his head. "If you say it's a girl, it's a girl."
"Until our mischievous little boy is born, right?" She arches an eyebrow.
"You said it." He raises his hands. A smile spreads over his face as his eyes dance with hers. "A girl, huh? We're going to have a daughter?"
"Don't tell anyone." She grabs his hand and moves closer to him. "I want it to be our secret. At least until I have scientific proof." She laughs and intertwines her fingers with his. He smiles hesitantly and withdraws his hand from hers. She looks down at the floor, feeling embarrassed by her momentary lapse. "I—uh—I should probably go home." She says nervously as she buttons her shirt.
"You should just stay." He says quietly, easily.
Her hands still and she looks up at him. "You don't have to offer things like that." She purses her lips when his eyes narrow. "I know this is weird. You don't have to be the nice guy here. I'll be fine going home tonight. I have our building's staff driver….." She gestures outside. The truth is she doesn't want to leave. She doesn't want to ever leave.
"I'm not doing it to be nice. I mean I am, but you're tired and it's late…. I want you to stay. I'd feel better." He smiles and finishes buttoning her shirt. She takes a deep, shaky breath. She watches as his hand smooths delicately over her shirt where her bump is. "Does it bother you when people do that?" He glances at her and stills his hand.
"Well, no one really knows yet. Serena is the only one who does it….and you, obviously." She smiles awkwardly.
"You didn't answer the question, Waldorf." He starts to remove his hand, but she rests hers over it.
"She's yours too." She says simply. "Of course it doesn't bother me when you do it." He looks at her and smiles warmly. "Serena thinks it's her baby too and I intend to test that with lots of babysitting so I guess that doesn't really bother me either. Nate, however, tried it the other day and I nearly broke his hand." The words tumble out of her mouth before she can stop them. She frowns. "I don't care what you say. I think this baby is just like you. All I do is talk, talk, talk." She widens her eyes and exhales loudly. "It's exhausting. I don't know how you do it, Humphrey."
He chuckles. "Alright. Let's get you to bed then." He smiles before he turns to leave his office and lead her to his room, as if she doesn't know the way. She doesn't remember agreeing to stay the night. It seems like it might be a setback for both of them, but she's so tired and, God help her, she's comforted at the thought of sleeping in his bed. She's missed it. She shakes her head. This pregnancy better not cause a permanent rewiring.
"Are those—" She points to the sheets before she lays down.
"They're clean." He cuts her off like he knew it was coming.
She flutters her eyes and holds her head high. "I'll never apologize for having standards, Humphrey." She lays on her side and gets comfortable in his sheets. They smell like him. She tries not to act too moved by the memories this is already conjuring up for her.
"Do you always sleep on your left side?" He asks with failed nonchalance.
"Subtle as ever…." She arches an eyebrow as she looks at him standing in his bedroom doorway, hands shoved in his pocket, holding up the doorframe. He rolls his eyes and looks away in annoyance. "Yes. I always sleep on my left side." She says mockingly. She acts annoyed and put out, but the truth is she'd be heartbroken if he wasn't acting like….well, him, in this situation. She smiles at him and rests a hand over her stomach. He pushes off the wall and she doesn't want him to leave yet. "I accidentally told my mom about the baby tonight. Well, I guess it wasn't really an accident."
"Blair! You swore all of us to secrecy and you break the code?" He looks at her with wide eyes. "What if she tells people? I have to tell my parents before they hear about it from someone else. And, oh my God, Jenny." He's pacing now. "She's going to freak." Ok, that's enough.
"Please stop pacing like that. You're making me nervous." She grumbles and sits up in his bed. He narrows his eyes at her and sits in the chair across from his bed. "Dan, do you think my mother is Gossip Girl? She's not going to make a blog post about this. Just relax."
"She's your mom though. I'm sure she wants to tell all of her friends and brag about her grandchild." He leans back in his chair and bounces his knee.
She can't help but laugh. "Seriously? Have you met my mother?" He leans forward slowly and she sighs. "Anyway, she wasn't exactly thrilled about it." She rests her hands on her stomach and looks at him. "I had to threaten her into submission." She whispers exaggeratedly.
He furrows his brow. "Why are you whispering?"
She rolls her eyes. "I know you know there's a very good chance babies can hear by this point. I'm sure our child is no exception." She purses her lips and looks at him with wide eyes. "I don't want her to be hurt by all of this." The corner of his mouth tugs up in an amused smile. "Don't look at me like that. She could know!"
"Ok, that's very sweet of you." He's failing miserably at hiding his amusement. She glares at him. "I just think I should tell my parents now."
"No. Dan, if there's one parent that's going to get all excited and tell everyone, it's your dad." She tells him pointedly. "He'll squeal and clap like a twelve year old girl at a Justin Bieber concert. All of New York will know in five minutes. No." She says adamantly.
"Well, so? What are we waiting for?" He gets up from his chair and sits on the bed. "I swear you're getting bigger every day. You've been lucky so far, but I don't think you can hide it for much longer. Let's just tell our families and friends."
She worries her lip and looks away from him. She's so excited and she wants everyone to know, but she gets enough grief from Serena, Nate, Dorota, and, now her mother about marrying Louis while she's still in love with Dan and pregnant with his child. If they tell everyone then it's just more people to judge her and hassle her with their eyes. And it wouldn't even matter what they thought because as soon as Louis' mother gets wind of this, the royal wedding is over. Which, admittedly, wouldn't be so awful. It wouldn't even really be her fault….Dan wouldn't think she was scheming and Louis couldn't really be upset at her for this. No. No. God, she cannot worry or think about one more thing. These decisions have already been made. She can't deal with this right now. "Dan. Please. I want to keep it private for now. It's risky enough having Nate and Dorota know…." She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
"Ok. Fine." He runs a hand through his hair. "I don't want to upset you."
She doesn't want to upset him either. "Dan, I—" She leans forward, closer to him.
He cuts her off. "It's ok. Let's just table it for tonight, hmm?" He smiles, but it's not genuine. It doesn't reach his eyes. Her heart breaks. No matter what she does, she hurts him. She's so tired of all of this. Neither one of them says a word or moves. They're stuck and no one knows what to do anymore.
The baby moves again and it startles her. "Oh." She gasps out and smiles down at her stomach. She'll never get used to that.
"What is it?" He asks from beside her and moves closer to her. "Is she fluttering again?"
Blair laughs. "Yeah, yeah she is." She grabs his hand and places it on her stomach.
He sighs and lets her move his hand as she chases the flutters. "I appreciate your dedication, but I don't think I'm feeling anything any time soon." He says teasingly.
She frowns at him. "Indulge me, Humphrey." She goes back to focusing on the fast movements.
"Always, Waldorf." She peeks at him and smiles. "I do wonder if she can hear us. Also, it's so weird saying she now." He laughs lightly.
"I know…." Blair says absently. The movements stop and she sighs in frustration. She keeps his hand on her stomach and lies down. It's calming to have some sort of physical connection to him. Her eyes start to drift closed. "I think she can hear us." She says tiredly and intertwines her fingers with his.
"So I have to take care to not annoy two Waldorf women?" He teases quietly.
"Tall task for a Humphrey." She opens her eyes for a moment to smile at him.
"Hmmm…." She feels him slide closer. He presses a kiss in her hair. "Goodnight, Blair." He strokes her hair lightly. She opens her eyes again and sees him leaning closer to her stomach. "Goodnight, little girl." He says playfully and Blair laughs. She feels a distinct flutter.
"She moved." She says dreamily. "Maybe she likes the sound of your voice."
"Maybe she's like you and she hates it." He smiles at her.
Blair smiles back and holds his gaze. "Well, the good news is that she'll come around in about four years." He laughs and she soaks it up for as long as she can before her eyes close again.
She opens her eyes and immediately closes them again. She was having a dream. A really, really good dream. She and Dan were in his bed doing all of the things they used to do in his bed. It's nothing new, but she's actually in his bed this time so it almost feels real. She's chasing down her dream when she hears Dan's voice.
"Alessandra, I told you the answer is no. It will always be no." She sits up in the bed a little too fast. Who the hell is Alessandra? She realizes her head is pounding. Great. She's unsatisfied and she's getting a headache. No one ever told her that you trade the nausea for arousal and headaches. It would have been nice to know. She hears Dan groan loudly and it interrupts her moping. She gets up from the bed and moves to the door to listen. "Please leave me alone. I don't want this." She hears him slam his phone down on the counter. She bites her lip. He's really upset. She moves slowly out of his room.
"Something wrong?" She asks quietly.
"Oh, Blair." He turns around quickly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."
"It's ok. I think my headache might be more to blame." She smiles weakly.
"Again?" He moves closer to her and frowns. "You get those all the time now." He scrubs a hand down his face.
"Yeah, well, it's part of the experience." She shrugs her shoulders. "That was some skilled deflection, by the way." She sighs and moves past him into the kitchen. She is starving. "Was that a jilted lover?" She cuts her eyes to him innocently as she rummages through his cabinets.
"No." He scoffs. "That was pitiful fishing, by the way." She glares at him and he rolls his eyes. "Come on." He takes her hands off the cabinet doors and leads her to a stool. "I'll make you something. What do you want?"
"Waffles." She smiles brightly and raises her eyebrows.
His eyes widen and he pulls his head back. "Someone's excited." He laughs lightly as he turns back toward the cabinets.
"Whatever." She wraps her hair around her finger and watches as he moves around the kitchen. He reaches for something on a top shelf and his shirt rises up just enough for her to see his lower back. Oh. He turns around in time to catch her staring at him. He clears his throat. She can feel herself blushing. "So are you going to tell me what that little lover's quarrel was about?" She asks icily.
He sets the bowl in his hand down and rests his hands on top of the counter. "Stop being a brat. I'm not seeing anyone. Even if I wanted to, I'm a little preoccupied." He grabs the bowl again and cuts his eyes to her. "And I can't believe I'm making you feel better in this situation." He laughs bitterly and shakes his head.
He's right, but it still hurt. Her eyes start to water. "I'm sorry. That was rude of me. It's not my business." He looks over at her and she tries to smile. This is the closest they've come to talking about Louis and the wedding in almost a month. They both just ignore it.
He nods his head and goes back to stirring. "It's ok. I was a little harsh." He exhales loudly. "I'm sorry. She just stressed me out."
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks tentatively.
"I don't know why I'm still surprised by how relentless you are." He smiles at her. "She's my book agent." He shakes his head and sighs. "I didn't want one, but somehow I ended up with one. She keeps pressuring me to come forward about Inside, but, for obvious reasons, I don't want to. So we fight. She is so annoying and not in a clever way like you. She's just flat out annoying." He widens his eyes as he dumps the waffle batter out.
"Dan, I think you should take credit for it too." She tells him softly.
He looks at her and his mouth falls open. "You can't be serious."
"I am." She takes a deep breath. "I've read it since….well, since everything. It's really good. And I'm not just saying that. You know I wouldn't do that. I want you to be your best so that means total honesty." She smiles and locks her eyes on his. "It's very promising."
"Blair…." He says sadly. "That book cost me everything."
She rests her hands in front of her on the counter as tears cloud her eyes. "No, it didn't." She shakes her head. "I did." She says softly.
"Ok, but you thought I wrote it about someone else. You were hurt." It almost sounds like he's forgiving her. She wants his forgiveness so badly, but not at the expense of him placing the blame on himself. "It—It just made a mess. I don't want to be connected to it." He shrugs his shoulders and stares at the waffles cooking.
"I understand that, Dan, but think about it. This book could change everything for you in a good way now." She gets off of the stool slowly and moves beside him. "If I hadn't been so stupid and stubborn and relentless I would have read it over the summer and I would have known immediately who it was about. It's so clear." She gets lost in his words for a moment. She looks at him to see he's watching her. She composes herself. "Anyway, my point is, if I had read it, you would be working on your second novel or whatever for your publisher and you'd be thinking about movie deals. You'd be getting everything you deserve and have worked for." She rests a hand on his forearm. "Don't let me take this from you too. Please."
"You really like it?" He asks quietly, but he still won't look at her.
"I love it." She smiles to herself. "Everyone loves it. Take credit for it." She strokes her thumb over his skin.
He cuts his eyes to her and shakes his head. "I don't know if it feels right."
"Dan, think about how special it'd be for our daughter. We're not together, but she'll know how in love we are—were. I mean she probably shouldn't read it, that'd be weird, but she'll know that you wrote a whole book about me." Her heart still beats with a little extra thrill when she thinks about that. She steps closer to him. "I want her to know that she's not a fluke."
He looks at her and tilts his head. "You love her so much already. I don't see how she could ever feel anything other than loved and wanted. I'm not worried about that." He takes her hand off of his forearm and holds it in his. "She probably will hate it anyway when she figures out it's why we're not together."
"It's not the book. That's a fallacy. You're smart enough to know that." She says quietly. She looks at their joined hands. She takes a deep breath. "She'll know that we were happy and then mistakes were made, but we love her. She'll be ok." She rests her head against his shoulder. "We'll make sure of it."
"I know." He murmurs thoughtfully. He's close. She can tell.
She pulls away to look at him. "This is it. This is your break. You have to take it. You have to want it." She grips his hand tighter. "You wrote a great, relevant book with so much heart. Be proud of it." She smiles. "I am."
He laughs lightly. She got him. "Blair…." He pulls her into him and wraps his arms around her. Her eyes are getting watery again. She's like a fountain sometimes. She wraps her arms around his waist and closes her eyes. She just wants to give him back some of what she stole. She just wants him to be happy. "Thank you." He whispers against her neck.
She breaks away in surprise. "What?" Her eyes dance over his face.
"Thank you for reading the book and thank you for fighting for it, for me." She shakes her head and wipes at her eyes. He is probably the worst guy in the world to be pregnant around. Drawing out emotions is his strong suit. "I mean it. Thank you." He swallows hard as he watches her. "I know how much it all hurts. I don't think you did any of this because you didn't love me or you didn't care so I…I know." He nods his head solemnly. A sob shakes through her. "Oh. Oh no. Now you're crying. I'm sorry." He pulls her into his arms again. "It's ok." He whispers into her hair. "It'll be ok. Please don't cry."
She takes a deep breath and tries to compose herself. "Relax." She pushes away from him. "I'm only crying because you burned my waffles." She smiles playfully through her tears.
He laughs. "I'll make you new ones." He starts mixing a new bowl of batter as she leans back against the counter and tries to get herself together. He turns to look at her and smiles warmly. "These will be better." He winks at her before he goes back to his work.
She's running late as she hurries toward Vera Wang's office. It was impossible to find a dress that didn't scream pregnant that actually concealed the fact that she is indeed pregnant. She has no idea how she's going to pull this off. They're going to know. She sighs. Maybe it's for the best. She's so tired. Everyone will know soon enough. She doesn't know what her endgame was here anyway. She runs right into Beatrice outside of the building as she's lost in her thoughts.
"Oh. What are you doing here?" She moves her sunglasses to her head.
"Well, Serena and I thought we should be a part of this." She shrugs a shoulder casually. Blair narrows her eyes.
"Where is Serena?" She crosses her arms and eyes Beatrice.
"You should probably not do that. I see your adorable little bump clearly." She gestures toward her stomach. Blair looks down. Damn. She drops her arms quickly. Blair raises her eyebrows, still waiting for an answer. "She is inside fighting with Ms. Wang about her dress that you no longer need. Designers do not like being replaced in royal weddings, but we found one that will likely fit you better in your current state. So it is au revoir."
"Oh my God." Blair drops her head into her hands. "My mother is going to kill me."
"You are so silly." Beatrice sighs. "Who do you think will be handling the, hopefully minimal, alterations to this new dress?"
"My mother is going to help?" Blair asks in surprise, feeling like she might cry again.
"Yes." Beatrice smirks. "I thought of the long term, while you did not. I have a lovely young, hungry designer in France who has designed some items here and there for me. All gorgeous. Anyway, I knew I could buy her silence, especially considering the exposure. She will be a household name by the end of this. Your mother saw her in the sitting room and asked about her. She knows her, you see. This is a boring story….The important thing is I no longer have to buy loyalty, which is always a risk. Your mother will make the alterations." She looks up at the building. "Now, we just need Serena to come out of there alive….and with our bridesmaid dresses. Those were too beautiful to let go of."
"So this is all going to work?" Blair asks dazedly. She doesn't feel at all relieved.
Beatrice smiles knowingly. "Yes, Blair. The only thing left to derail this wedding is you." She arches an eyebrow and studies her.
She shuts her eyes. She feels like the world is spinning. She opens her eyes in time to see Serena walk out of the building, blonde hair blowing behind her, happy smile in place, two garment bags in her arms. "You did it." Beatrice says proudly.
"I told you. I only need my charm to get what I want." She shrugs her shoulders. "You two put way too much effort in." Blair remembers when she used to be jealous of Serena's charm and luck. Now, she's glad her friend doesn't have to struggle. She'd never survive the way Beatrice and Blair do.
"Serena, sometimes you appreciate things more when you work for them." Beatrice smirks at the girl. That's another reason she's no longer jealous. "A lesson I do not think you have learned." Serena glares at Beatrice. She'd enjoy this showdown if she weren't so preoccupied.
"What do you think would happen if Louis and I were honest?" Blair blurts out. "Or if one of us was?" She plays with her fingers nervously.
Beatrice rolls her eyes. "I think the world would continue spinning."
"Beatrice….." Serena sighs in annoyance. "Blair, you may not get what you want, but at least you'd be out from under all this stress. It's eating at you. We all see it." Blair takes a deep breath and nods.
"You may not get what you want, but you could still get it someday." Beatrice offers. "Hope can be powerful." She's not wrong. She smiles at Blair genuinely. "Do not even get me started on Louis. He could be an inspiration." Beatrice shakes her head and sighs.
"B?" Serena nudges her shoulder with her own.
Blair looks at her. "I was just asking." She says quietly.
"You only have two weeks, little lamb." Beatrice reminds her gently. Two weeks? That keeps surprising her. It's soon. It's so soon.