Title: Someone to Live For
Characters/Pairings: canon couples
Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance/ Hurt/Comfort
Warnings: AU
Rating: T
Chapters: 1/around 40
Status: WIP
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones nor the characters. Just playing with them.
Summary: Brennan's trip to Maluku is cut off suddenly after she gets the devastating news of Booth's demise in Afghanistan. Knowing she lost him forever she decides to give the world one last part of him – his child. But life never goes as you plan and tragedy strikes once more in the most unsuspected place, changing not only Brennan's life but others too. AU. Post season 5 finale. There is BB.
AN: um, hi!
Is anyone still here?
Ah, yes, this is an update. I am so sorry for the looooong delay with delivering it. To be honest I've been struggling with this fandom and this story for the past 8 months. Got into an affair with another fandom (which surprisingly tickled my muse into working). But now I'll be putting all the effort and free time I have to finish this piece.
I hope you will still enjoy the ride with me!
This chapter is dedicated to all that has reviewed, faved, followed, and inquired about this story during the last hiatus. Thank you all for your kind words and support!
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Chapter Twenty Six – What Really Matters
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Brennan was not happy to spend the night at the hospital but reluctantly agreed. Booth refused to leave her side, not only because he did not have a place to go, he simply could not leave her. Brennan protested about his back ending up hurt from sitting all night in the uncomfortable chair, but Booth ignored her. She told him to come and lie next to her on the hospital bed, but once again he refused as he was afraid he'd hurt her or the baby.
The baby.
His baby.
He still couldn't believe that she has gone with the insemination. That she was pregnant with his child; that he was going to be a father again. He's going to have a child. And with Bones. This time he was going to be involved. From the very beginning. She could not- would not keep him away from his own children. He knew that. Because he knew her. He knew she would not do this to him. Especially now that both of them lived with her.
Parker lived with Bones now.
It was mindboggling to him that his partner has adopted his son. He felt a surge of affection for the wonderful woman. Never had he thought she would do such a thing for his son. And now, because she did, it linked them in a totally new way. They were a family now. He felt as if it was all some kind of a too-good-too-be-true dream. Maybe he was still lying in the coma at Bagram. And if so, then he didn't want to wake up.
"Bones!" The happy shout from his son, as the boy barged into the room, startled him from his musings.
"Sh, Parker, she's still sleeping." Booth scolded him lightly, but nevertheless, his face brightened in a wide smile at the sight of his young child.
"Hi, Dad!" Parker smiled at him while giving him a quick hug then turned toward the bed, peering at the woman lying there.
"Hey, Parker." Bones smiled at the boy, stretching her limbs.
His son beamed. "Hi, Bones! Are you alright?" He asked eagerly, looking her over.
Bones smiled at the boy. "I am. I'm going home today."
"Good!" Parker jumped happily. "Me and Grandpa brought you some clothes." He turned to the older man as he just entered the room.
"Hello, Tempe." Max said, smiling at his daughter and nodding at Booth, who was still seated next to Brennan's bed.
Brennan returned the smile with one of her own, propping herself up. "Hi, Dad."
"How are you?" Max asked, coming closer to the bed, and standing next to Booth.
"Fine." Brennan said.
"And the baby?" Max asked.
"Restless, like always." She shared a knowing smile with her father and Booth felt a sudden pang in his heart. He should know this. He should be the one sharing this understanding with her about… about their child.
"How is your back, Booth?" Brennan asked him worried, her eyes focusing on him, and he could tell she was trying to see if he was going to tell her the truth.
"It's fine. Don't worry." He told her and smiled, patting her hand reassuringly.
She threw him a suspicious look, but didn't say anything more. He grinned charmingly at her trying to distract her, but she was not so easily swayed. Throwing one last suspicious glance his way, she turned to Parker, her face softening.
"Did you finish your homework last night?" she asked.
Parker nodded. "I did. Grandpa helped me."
"What about the Math test, did you revised?" she asked, clearly happy with his answer.
Parker fidgeted and Booth smiled involuntarily. "Um, noo…"
"Parker…" Brennan frowned.
"I couldn't concentrate!" His boy interrupted. "You were in the hospital and Dad's here." He finished pointing at his Father.
Brennan smiled looking at Booth once more. "He is." Her smile softened as her eyes shined with unspoken emotions and it took Booth's breath away. His heartbeat speeded up at the pure adoring look in her eyes.
Max put down the duffel bag he brought with himself on the table and turned to Parker. "Come on, Parker, we'll be late for school." He beckoned the boy.
"Aw, do I have to go?" Parker whined, but he was looking at Brennan instead of the old con-man.
Brennan just shot him a look.
"Ah, sucks." He mumbled, making Booth grin genuinely at the exchange. The boy hugged Brennan then turned to his Father hugging him as well. "See ya later, Dad." He smiled.
"You bet on it." Booth nodded with a smile. He watched as Max kissed Brennan's temple nodded at him and left with Parker to take him to school.
"I need to go to the bathroom." Brennan told him once they were gone.
He turned toward her, getting up. "Do you need any help?"
"Just getting up from this bed." She told him begrudgingly.
He helped her then left her on her own, after she shot him a glare. Shortly after, the doctor came and, with an order to take a few easy days, discharged her from the hospital. They left together, him hovering over her and her protesting at his close proximity. Bickering good-naturedly, they hailed a cab and left for her apartment.
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It was nearing noon when they entered the apartment and Brennan headed straight to the open kitchen, swaying slightly as she make her way. She opened the fridge with one purpose only. Almost impatiently, she took out some food containers, contemplating what to eat. She turned with her hands full and stopped.
Booth was standing in the middle of her living room area, shifting from one foot to another with his eyes intense and focused on her.
"Are you alright, Booth?" She asked him, putting the containers on the counter that was separating her open kitchen from the living room area.
"I… Yeah… No? I don't know, Bones." He said, sighing.
Worried, she asked. "What's wrong?"
"I…" His eyes flickered to the food then her rounded abdomen. "I…" He stopped, but she had seen already his eyes' movement.
She felt a sudden, hot wave of insecurity washing over her, and she bit her lower lip. "Is it- is it because I'm pregnant?" She asked in a small voice, looking down.
"What?" He startled. "No, Bones. I just…"
She might not be good at reading others but she could always read him when it mattered. Always has been able to. And now, she was sure that it had something to do with her pregnancy. He told her he was happy that she's going to have his child, but was he really? He had wanted to give her a child in the past at first, but then he- she looked up suddenly. "You know, you'll be involved, right?"
"What?" He looked at her, surprised, his eyes focusing on hers.
"You know, you'll be involved?" She repeated. "I wanted to take care of my child on my own in the past, but I don't want to anymore. I want you to take care of the baby with- with me and Parker. You are the baby's father, Booth. I would never stop you from being involved with it. And well, I would never stop you from being involved with Parker." She rushed with her explanations.
Booth blinked. "I know that." He said. "I know you wouldn't keep me away from my children, Bones."
They stared at each other over the counter separating the living room from the kitchen.
"Then what is it?" she asked him finally.
Booth ran his hands through his hair, looking around him. "I… It's just so sudden, I guess." He looked back at her, eyes flickering to her abdomen once more. "I never even hoped it would really happen. And so soon." He told her in an even voice. "But here it is."
"Oh." She said. "Well, I guess it could be surprising." She nodded with a frown. "Parker and I have been preparing for the baby for the past four months and you have just found out. I can see it could be hard to process." She looked up, walking around the counter toward him. "Together with Parker, we've been making adjustment so we're used to the idea already. We even plan on looking for a bigger apartment and baby stuff together." She finished standing in front of him.
Booth blinked at her "You do?"
"Yes. This apartment, while spacious enough for one or two people, has only two bedrooms as you know. We need a nursery and now that you're here-" Her voice hitched. "You're going to stay with us, right?" She asked looking him in the eyes, anxious to hear his answer.
"Well, I don't have any place to go." He shrugged at her, his eyes looking away.
"Oh, right, your apartment is gone." Brennan said looking away, her heart twisting painfully.
Booth took a quick, forceful step toward her, his arms going to her shoulders. She looked up at him, startled, her breath catching in her throat at the intense look in his eyes. "Even if it was available, Bones, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than stay here with you all."
Brennan's felt tears filling her eyes. "I don't want you anywhere else, either." She told him.
"Then I'm staying here." He smiled at her.
She returned the smile. "You are."
"And I'm not going anywhere." He vowed.
She turned serious. "I'm not letting you go."
They stared at each other for a moment then Booth cleared his throat. "So, I think your couch is more comfortable than mine ever was." He said with a small tight smile, looking away from her to the furniture.
She frowned. "You can't sleep on the couch, your back will be hurt." She pointed out reasonably.
Booth looked at her. "But you said yourself there are only two bedrooms in your apartment, and I bet the other one is occupied by Parker."
Brennan's face brightened. "It is, we've repainted it and added a desk and bookshelves and Angela decorated the walls with some heroes Parker chose. I'm sure you'll like it." She finished excited.
Booth smiled at her. "I will. But that just proves my point, I can't take Parker's room." He pointed out.
She frowned again. "You need a proper bed for your back."
He shrugged then smiled at her. "As far as I know there is no other available bed in here. The couch will be fine."
"I have a double bed." She blurted.
They froze, staring at each other, eyes searching, asking, affirming.
"I can't sleep in your bed, Bones." Booth said slowly after a while.
"Why? We shared one in the past." Brennan pointed out.
Booth rolled his eyes. "During undercover assignments."
"So?"
"So it's different this time." He looked away from her and took a tiny step back. "It's your bed. In your apartment."
Brennan moved forward, looking him in the face. "Please, Booth." She whispered. "I can't- I just- I need you next to me. I have to know you're there. Please?"
His eyes searched hers once more as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "You sure?" He asked her finally.
"Yes." She nodded.
He gulped. "Alright."
Before the tension could become too uncomfortable, Brennan's stomach growled.
"Your child is exceptionally hungry." She told him, turning to the counter to look through the discarded containers.
"So it's my child now, huh?" He asked, suddenly sounding amused.
She shot him a look over her shoulder, but he just grinned at her, unbuttoning his uniform jacket and coming to her side to look at the food.
"Hey, there is chicken in here and an apple pie!" He exclaimed with glee.
"I told you, your child." She grumbled, sniffing the chicken salad and walking around the counter to look for a fork in one of the drawers.
"Can I have some of these, too?" He asked looking over the apple pie, still left on the counter.
Brennan clutched the container she was holding to her chest, sending him a glare. "No!"
Booth raised his hands. "Alright, alright. Can I have something else for lunch then?"
"Look in the fridge." She told him then moaned at the taste of the salad in her mouth.
Booth stopped mid step, his uniformed jacket half-way taken off, as he stared at her. His eyes darkened, but Brennan was oblivious as she bit another forkful and closed her eyes, blissfully. Finally she looked at him and frowned.
"We need to pick up your clothes from the storage. They will be probably dust-" It was then she noticed him staring at her intensely, his eyes dark and bottomless. She flushed. "Booth?"
He shook his head. "Wha-? Ah, yeah, you're right, my clothes. It would be good to have more than this military standard gear." He nodded, swallowing, then turned to the fridge.
Brennan had a sudden urge to push him away from it, fearing there might be another bomb, blowing him away. But she squashed it. She has just opened the fridge herself a few minutes ago and nothing has happened. Booth found some sandwiches and together they sat down eating their lunch.
It was after Brennan satisfied her first hunger that she decided to approach the topic she wanted to discuss with him ever since he so unexpectedly got back.
"Booth?" She asked, playing with the salad using her fork.
"Yeah, Bones?" He asked over a mouthful.
"What has happened in Afghanistan? Why did they tell us you were- you're dead?" She asked, looking up at him.
He put down the sandwich he was holding, and sighed. "I can't tell you much, Bones." He told her warily. "It's all classified."
"Ok." She said, but couldn't stop the frown from appearing on her face.
"I will tell you as much as I can." Booth assured her quickly. "I promise."
She nodded.
There was a pause as Booth gathered his thoughts. Brennan took a bite of the salad, waiting. She learned years ago, that when Booth was going to be talking about something personal, he needed time to start.
"You know my contract was to train the mixed troops of American and Afghan soldiers, right?" He asked her finally.
She nodded. "Yes."
"Well, that's what I was supposed to do. That's what I did do for the first month, never really leaving Bagram." He stopped and ran his hands over his hair. "But it was a war zone, Bones." he looked up at her. "And I am a soldier. I needed to follow orders no matter what they were." He paused again. "I did not want to do it, but there was nothing else I could say. They needed my expertise and experience on that one mission."
She nodded again.
He took another deep breath and let out a dark chuckle. "It was a standard mission, you know? Even if it had the top secret and priority label, it was just a standard mission." He looked at her and she saw the tired look in his eyes. Her heart went to him, but she stayed quiet as he continued. "Everything went according to the plan, you know, until that one moment when things started going pretty bad, pretty fast." He looked away. "The next think I knew I was in some dark, foul smelling cell."
She gasped, blanching, her appetite lost. "You- you were captured?" She whispered, pushing her plate away.
There was a pause.
"Yes." He nodded.
"How… how long?" She asked, fearing the answer.
Again he stalled.
"Less than four months." He said finally, not looking at her.
Suddenly the bale in her throat was rising so quickly, she barely managed to scramble on her feet and ran up to the sink. She heaved, her whole lunch gone. She heard Booth calling her name, felt his gentle hand on the lower of her back while the other moved her hair from her face.
"Bones, baby, oh, Bones, I shouldn't have told you that." He moaned, when she finally stopped.
She looked back at him, looking into the beloved brown eyes that were filled with concern now. "Were you- were you tortured?" she asked in a strangled voice.
He looked away and she had her answer. Her eyes filled with tears, as she started shaking. "What- what has they done to you?" she asked.
He sighed. "It's the Middle East, Bones, you know the drill."
She did. "Your feet." She said looking down at them.
"Yes." He nodded, and turned away from her to pour her a glass of water. "From what I've been told after I woke up from the coma, the doctors needed to re-break them so they could heal properly."
"Oh, God." She moaned.
"I'm fine, Bones. I'm fine." He reassured her, giving her the glass, while his hand moved to the small on her back, going in soothing circles. "Come on, let's sit you down."
She allowed him to lead her to the couch in the living room area. They sat next to each other, his arm still around her shoulders, as she leaned into him.
"You said you were in a coma?" She asked after a while.
She felt him nod. "Yes, for four weeks. When they found me, I was heavily malnourished and dehydrated, they said I was delirious and when they finally got me to the base I was again unconscious." He took a breath. "They operated and I guess I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia again because when I woke up it was four weeks later. Then I spent a month there on the recuperation and rehabilitation, until I got a clean bill to return home." He finished.
She heard him say what he went through, but there was only one piece of information that mattered right now. "You were rescued eight weeks ago?" she rasped, shocked.
There was a pause, and Brennan looked up to see his face. "I… yes." He admitted finally, his whole being hurting from this admittance.
She looked away. "Why… why they had not informed us?" she asked, her fists gripping the hem of her maternity shirt.
Booth sighed, resignedly. "I told you it was a top priority mission." He ran his free hand through his hair as he looked at her pleadingly. "I came to see you as soon as I could, Bones. Which was when I finally got back to DC. I could not contact you before. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Bones. I know I promised you there won't be any other repeat of the fake death scenario, but I was simply unable to tell you myself that I was alright before my return. I'm sorry. I really am."
Brennan felt numb. The Army knew he was alive for eight weeks and no one has told them. How casual and careless about the citizens was their Government.
"Bones?" Booth called her quietly, and she could hear the fear and apprehension in his voice.
She looked up at him, into the familiar eyes filled with anguish. He hurt with the deception as much as she did.
She lifted her hand and put it on his cheek. "It doesn't matter." She said.
"Bones?" He blinked surprised.
"You're back." She said, her voice thickening suddenly.
"Bones…" He whispered, and she leaned into him. She felt his arms go round her, bringing her closer to him.
"You're back. That's what matters."
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End of Chapter Twenty Six
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AN: Next update – which is called: The Calm before the Storm – should be sometime next week, probably on Sunday. I will try to keep the weekly schedule update, but am not making any promises at the time.
See you soon! As always all reviews are greatly appreciated!