101 Attempts – Karaoke
Title: Howard Link… You Are SO Going Down
A/N: So Link is probably one of the most mature characters in the series.
…
Not anymore, he isn't.
Consider this a cool-down chapter.
._.
"Link, we need to talk."
Allen sat across from his inspector at their cafeteria table, surrounded by his food and Link's sweets. At last they were free of the constant partying of Cross Marian, but only because the man was in line waiting to order his coffee from Jerry. Lately that man had been harassing Allen more than usual, and Allen hadn't been able to sleep for one second over the span of three days. Allen was tired, Link was tired but eating his sweets for boost, and Cross was cheating by drinking caffeine.
The inspector continued to sign papers but kept his ears open. Allen sighed, knowing Link didn't mind the presence of the general because the man didn't interfere with his work. At the rate Cross was partying in Allen's room at the middle of the night, it would.
"You need to stop letting strangers into my room while I'm sleeping," he told the inspector seriously. He glanced at his master and saw him approaching, then turned back to Link quickly. "If you don't, they'll start to interfere with your work and we'll never get rid of those piles of papers. We won't get any sleep, and as result we'll perform poorly in work," Allen explained himself, and then added, "And I know how much you hate that."
Link looked up from his papers, but didn't respond as the crazy general reached their table to further torment his apprentice.
Allen really hoped Link had taken his words to heart.
._.
It was the dead of night when the TV in Allen's room turned on. The sudden noise woke Allen from his much-needed sleep, and he rubbed his tired eyes to see what was happening. He sat up in bed and blinked at the glowing screen, then at the figures illuminated by it.
It's the usual intruders, he thought with a scowl. There were the two Noahs that no one ever seemed to give a crap about their presence in the Order, Cross Marian, but today there was an extra visitor. Kanda and his Segway stood in the darkness of the corner, staring at Allen with the usual murderous intent. The Japanese man didn't say anything, acting as if he did this every night. Allen ignored him for now, moving his legs to let them dangle off of the side of his bed.
On the screen, the words "Karaoke 5" flashed on the screen. Allen glanced at the gaming console on the floor, and then to the pile of microphones stacked beside the system. Allen frowned and searched the room for Link, ready to berate the man for letting the weirdos in.
That was when he saw Link standing in the center of the Karaoke group, holding a microphone while a song counted down on screen to begin.
Then he opened his mouth to sing.
And Allen cringed. He cringed so hard it felt like his head was going to explode. Piercing the air was a horribly off-key voice that nearly broke his eardrums. He wondered why the others weren't suffering like he was, but he saw they were using the corks from Cross's wine bottles as earplugs.
"I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World
Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic!
You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere
Imagination, Life Is Your Creation"
"MAKE IT STOP!" Allen screamed in agony. "MAKE HIM STOP!"
Cross looked Allen's way and offered two bottles of wine.
"You're going to need to drink these if you want a pair," he explained to his apprentice. "We don't have any glasses, so you'll have to drink straight from the bottle." He thrust the wine bottles into Allen's hands and sat down next to him. "Here, I'll help you finish it."
"I don't want to get drunk," Allen protested.
"Do you really want to listen to that?" Cross raised his eyebrows, motioning towards the singing inspector.
Allen opened the bottles without hesitation. He took both of the corks, shoved them in his ears for instant relief. He gave one of the bottles to his master and began drinking his own, figuring that he may as well get wasted. If he was lucky, he would either pass out intoxicated, or get to the point where he wouldn't be able to understand anything around him.
Or maybe both, he thought as Cross took out several more bottles for them to share.
._.
Incase You Missed It
Attempt: Asking Link to keep Cross out of his room
Ruined by: Cross convincing Link to play karaoke in Allen's room
Sorry Allen, you really tried to keep the crazy people away. It's too bad Link didn't listen to you.