Chapter Twenty Six

Jasper

I was halfway to the house when reality hit me, what was I thinking? Going to Bella and Kat with blood on my hands? I had just killed four humans, scum bags but still humans, and I had no idea how Bella would take that. I could of course deny any involvement, I'd made sure it would pass for a tragic accident but was that the way to make a life with Bella? Build it on lies. If she heard about the "accident" would she suspect me? Worse still would she suspect Emmett? Poor Emmett who was innocent of any involvement? It wasn't fair. I would have to tell Bella the truth and hope she could see beyond the horror of my deeds to the reason behind it. I thought I knew Bella but I had no idea how she was going to take this, had I just lost her with my stupid actions? Stupid? No, maybe not subtle enough, perhaps I should have waited, done it later and well away from here but I didn't regret what I'd done, not for a single moment, only the possible consequences. Would Bella be disgusted? Would she want me near her pure innocent child knowing what I'd done?

The questions spun round and round and there were no easy answers I would just have to tell her the truth and see what happened from there. Would she know? Would she question me or would I have to tell her cold, "Sorry Bella I lost my temper and killed Dwayne and his friends." If I did then she would ask me the one question I wasn't sure I wanted to answer, "Why?" Should I tell her what he'd told me or let her continue to believe that Matt was Kat's father. It wouldn't be good having the murderer of her father living with Kat now would it? I stopped walking and sat on a fence post protruding from the snow bank, what the hell was I going to do? A small part of me, a very small part of me, urged me to run, to get as far as I could from Bella and Kat so I didn't have to see the disgust on her face, hear the terrible words banishing me from her world but I couldn't, any more than I could have stopped myself last night. I did what I had to do and I had to face Bella.

Walking on I neared the house when I saw another figure trudging through the snow...Bella? I recognised the jacket, the jacket that was way too thin for this weather, and speeded up. She wasn't even wearing boots and she should be at work, what the hell was she doing out here in the snow?

"Bella"

She turned hearing my voice and stopped waiting for me to catch her up. I could see she was shivering but more than that she'd been crying, her eyes were red and puffy and her fingers almost blue. I pulled my gloves from my pocket shrugging out of my jacket and putting it round her shoulders.

"Why are you out here? What's happened Bella?"

She just shook her head but she put the gloves on and pulled my jacket around her closer so I put my arm around her and we walked in silence, except for her chattering teeth, to the house.

Emmett must have been looking out because he came rushing down the steps and picked Bella up whisking her inside. When I got up the steps I was relieved to see Kat asleep on the couch with Rose sitting beside her but when she saw us she got up.

"Bella? What happened? Where have you been?"

Bella stumbled when Emmett put her down then let go of my jacket so it slid to the floor followed by my gloves and walked slowly into the bathroom closing the door behind her.

"What happened?"

Roses voice was an angry hiss,

"I don't know. I thought she was at work. I was coming home when I saw her up ahead. She must have walked from town"

Rose looked out the window,

"In this? With that coat? Is she crazy?"

"No, but she's upset about something. Can you hold the fort Rose while I talk to her?"

"Sure. Emmett will sit with Kat, I'll make hot coffee and put some soup on to warm up she must be frozen. See if she'll have a warm bath, anything to get her temperature up."

I nodded and went to the bathroom door knocking on it lightly.

I couldn't hear any movement just quiet sobs.

"Bella? Bella can I come in?"

I waited,

"Bella? Bella please speak to me"

There was movement and the door opened a crack, I waited and I heard her move so I went through the door to see her hunched up on the edge of the bath holding her sides, the tracks of earlier tears still on her cheeks.

"What happened Bella? Why didn't you ring someone? Rose or Emmett would have picked you up"

"I didn't have any change."

"Surely work would have let you make a call?"

"I walked out, they fired me, well they were going to at the end of the month so I saved them the bother."

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. Why?"

She looked up at me her eyes full of as yet unshed tears,

"I know Jasper"

"Sorry?"

"I know...the accident, the car in the snow, I know"

I sank down on my knees in front of her.

"Oh I see, that's why you're upset? I'm sorry Bella, I'd like to say it wasn't me but it was and I'd do it again."

"For me? For Kat?"

"Yes."

"If I asked you why would you tell me?"

I closed my eyes and sighed,

"Yes"

"Then I wont, not now. I guess I should have expected trouble at work. It was coming, I never stay anywhere too long, I've never been able to. I guess now I could and just at the same time I lose my job."

She started shaking again,

"Bella, get undressed while I run you a bath."

"What?"

"You're freezing, you need to warm up, I'll run you a warm bath, you get in and Rose will bring you a hot drink. We can talk later when you're warmer."

She looked at me for a few seconds then stood up trying to undo her wet jacket zip with frozen fingers. As they scrabble uselessly I started the tub filling and took her jacket off for her followed by wet shoes and socks then slid her pants down cold legs.

"I'll leave the rest to you or Rose will help. OK?"

She nodded and I left her sending Rose in with a steaming mug of what smelled like tomato soup.

Sitting beside a still sleeping Kat was Emmett looking troubled,

"Is she gonna be OK?"

"Yeah she got the sack from her job and she didn't have any change for the phone so she decided to walk home"

"What about her cell phone?"

"Out of credit I guess, I never thought to ask."

"What did you do Jazz?"

I knew what he was referring to,

"Killed them, made it look like a car accident in the snow."

"Right OK. You telling Bella?"

"She already knew. The car must have been found."

"She knew it was you?"

"She suspected and when she asked me I told her the truth."

"Do you think you've blown it with her?"

"Honestly I don't know Em, but I can't change what I am. I was protecting my own."

"But they aren't your own man, not yet."

"To me they are Emmett. They were from the moment I set eyes on Bella just before Christmas. Whatever she decides wont make any difference to the way I feel about her or Kat"