Second Chances

by aerialla1

After trying to attack Bella on her birthday and the farewell of his family can Jasper get a second chance. Can he live on his own and resist the urge for human blood. *Sequal to my one shot story titled One Drop which should be read for better clarity*

26. Family

SM Owns Twilight.

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Chapter Twenty Five: Family (Part One)

Song: To Make You Feel My Love: Garth Brooks

Bella POV

I felt moving air as Jasper left, taking the comfort of his embrace with it. The lights on the tree twinkled merrily and I tried not to think of the earlier conflagration.

Wandering into the living room, I found two doors. Opening the first door, I found Jasper's office. The sheet rock walls were bare and the several desks that took up the space looked like a war zone. Strewed computer equipment and components lay around with paper and files. Careful not to pry into anything I began shuffling through things on the desks until I unearthed the cordless phone.

Not knowing if my dad was at home, I took the chance of calling his cell phone and hoped I wasn't catching him while he was working.

"Hello." His voice was gruff and sleepy. I cringed realizing I'd woken him up.

"Dad. I'm sorry I woke you up. I'll call you back tomorrow." Charlie had been through so much with me lately and thinking that I'd awoken him from sleep, yet again, made my stomach churn.

"No, I'm all right, just fell asleep watching a movie. Are you okay Bells?" The concern in his voice, traveled through the phone and hit like an arrow into my heart. How was I ever going to be able to make all of this up to him?

"I'm all right, feeling better." I felt the dam burst within me and I started crying into the phone. "I'm so sorry, daddy, sorry for everything that I put you through."

"Aw hell, Bella. I may have to go really slow because of the weather, but I'll be there. It's about time we talked anyway." I heard the jangle of keys and the sound of the door closing. "I'm going to let you go, but I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you, kid."

Jasper found me sitting, crying and rocking, the phone still in my hand and buzzing. His arms went around me, lifting me out of the seat. He gently took the phone from my hand and turned it off, before dropping it onto the desk.

"He's coming here. We'll he be all right on the roads? Esme said they were impassable." We had been sitting on the couch in front of the fire for five minutes before I was able to stop crying. This was one of the times I was grateful for Jasper's calming ability. I could feel it working its way through me like a gentle breeze, blowing away all of my anxiety and hurt.

Jasper chuckled and I heard the rumble through his chest as it vibrated on his ear. "I believe Esme may have fibbed a bit to get you to stay. The roads are bad, but the snow plows have been getting them cleared. I can hear them all over outside. If he takes his time, he'll be here in a little while."

For what seemed like hours we sat on the couch and stared at the flames. Only twice did we move, once for Jasper to put more logs on the fire and two when I crawled off his lap and curled up into his side. Jasper was the one to break the silence as the time shifted to Christmas Eve morning.

"How did you like your room? You can change anything that you don't like, or we can redo the whole thing." I don't think Jasper even realized that he was projecting his hope and anxiety toward me. It told me how much he wanted me to like what they had done for me.

"It's beautiful and must have taken a lot of work, thank you. I can't imagine changing any of it. The chair will be a wonderful place to study, that is if they let me graduate." For the first time I wondered what the people at school thought of me. Even the ones that didn't hang out in La Push would find out about my jump off the cliffs.

"I'm sure between Carlisle, Charlie and me, you won't have a problem with graduating. Have you thought any about college, I know it was something that you and Edward talked about?" Jasper's voice was low, knowing that I would not want to talk about Edward.

I knew that education was something important to all the Cullens. I just wasn't sure where I fit in with that. I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, let alone what I would want to do for eternity.

"Can I get back to you about that? Let's just say I'm still undecided."

Jasper nodded at my comment. "I'm fine with whatever you want to do Bella, even if you don't want to go at all. I wouldn't mind giving studies a rest for a while myself. It gets a bit tedious when you know more than the professors."

His smile was all I needed for the weight to lift off my shoulders. "So you wouldn't mind if I didn't go to college, at least not right away?" Not wanting to go had always been a bone of contention with Edward.

"No darlin', I don't. If you never decide to go to college, Bella, I'm fine with that. You don't need a wall of graduation caps to make me happy. I will love you no matter what you decided to be or do, even if it's nothing at all." He picked up my hand and kissed it, sending shivers down my spine.

How was it that I felt so comfortable just sitting here in front of the fire with Jasper? Nothing was perfect than this. Jasper's head turned just a fraction, and I looked up at him, knowing he heard something that I had not.

"Your dad is here, darlin'. Do you want me to give the two of you some privacy?"

Softly, I nodded my head. I wanted to be alone with Charlie, just for a few. I missed him. "If you don't mind. I would like to apologize to him. You'll be close though, won't you, in case I need you."

I wanted him near, just in case I started falling apart. Now that I knew the beauty and comfort of Jasper's arms, I doubted I would ever be able to be away from him for long. He was quickly becoming not only the haven of my dreams, but my realities as well.

"I'll be right outside to give you some more privacy, and to check the generators. If this snow keeps up, we'll need them."

The knock came to the door, just as Jasper pressed a cool peck on my cheek. Moving in a blur, he was at the door and opening it for Charlie, just seconds later.

Jasper didn't say anything as I watched my father and a woman walk in. The woman turned, glaring at Jasper, making him back away, looking ashamed. His head hung low and I watched as he slipped out the door and into the night.

I watched as the woman, armed in a sling, turn around and open the front door. One word jolted me as it yelled out. "Coward!" She slammed the front door closed so hard the glass rattled.

I looked at my dad who rolled his eyes and shook his head. "If I get my hands on him Charlie, I'm using your gun to see if it makes any impact on that damn thick head of his. One bullet right between the eyes should do the trick, better yet, I'm borrowing your shotgun."

With a huff, she hung up her coat and nearly toppled over pulling off her boots with one hand. I watched as my dad held her elbow to steady her. The smile on my dad's face, paired with the twinkling in his eyes, amazed me. I had never seen him like this. He looked happy, and younger than I could remember him.

"You must be Bella. I'm Jani.' She walked around the couch and flopped down beside me. Things began clicking into place. This was Jasper's Janine. It had to be. 'So has fangless told you anything about me, or do I have to obtain a bazooka somewhere?"

Standing she went to the back door and again hollered into the night. "Get your sparkly ass back here, now!" I watched in awe as she mumbled about asshole vampires and just what she was going to do to Jasper's head.

Charlie POV

"Dad, what's going on?" Bella looked at me and I was having a hard time not laughing at Jani, she'd kill me with my own gun.

"That's between those two stubborn idiots.' Janine turned and scowled at me. 'Sorry, but it's true and you know it. He's doing it just to piss you off so you'll talk to him again. I know it and so do you. Talk to him or don't, but you're driving me crazy, Woman. Quit putting me in the middle."

Since this morning when Jani woke up and found a box with a jeweled turtle in it, she'd been after me to arrest Jasper. I think she just wanted him behind bars for easier target practice. Once the hurt had worn off, she had turned mad as hell, and wasn't afraid to show it.

We'd spent the evening eating pizza, and watching action movies. Later when wrestling came on, I had watched in fascination as she yelled at the television and color commentated like nothing I'd ever seen. Something in my heart melted watching her and I began to feel a stirring inside that wasn't just to see her bend over in those blessedly tight jeans. God the woman in jeans was enough to give me a heart attack.

We'd fallen asleep on the couch again while watching another movie. It was incredible to feel her wrapped around me again as she slept. It gave me the opportunity to peruse her without the effects of an alcohol-induced stupor. She was gorgeous with her dark hair spread on my chest and her dark eyelashes fanning down on her golden skin. Her lips slightly parted and I had craved to see if she tasted as good with pizza and beer as she did with tequila. Jani's body was another matter, she was all woman and had the gorgeous curves to prove it. I would never understand why women walked around looking like toothpicks. There was nothing else sexier than the curves of Bettie Page and Marilyn Monroe, just begging for the grip of a strong hand. I knew that if she brushed my legs once more with one of those full luscious hips, I would not be responsible for my actions.

I had to hand it to her. The woman had fire. Just being with her in the car had made me hot under the collar, and it had nothing to do with her temperature. If I didn't get to kiss her again soon, I thought I would combust. Even now as she tugged her boots back on and exited the back door in a huff I had a hard time not letting my eyes linger on her backside in tight fitting jeans. I almost groaned before realizing that I was standing in the room with my daughter. Now was not the time to wonder how good Jani would look with that gorgeous dark hair fanning across my pillow.

If I were truthful and admitted it to me, every moment I spent with her had me falling harder and harder. Instead of the hard impact of concrete I found the softness and warmth of her arms. I was in love with her, of that I was certain. Now if I could just convince her that I was serious, we'd have the rest of our lives to figure out the rest. At least now with her delectable form out of sight, I could concentrate on my real reason for being here, my daughter.

Slipping out of my coat, I turned and hung it on the peg, doing like everyone else, slipping out of my boots. Bella sat slightly hunched, the huge sofa looking like it was swallowing her whole. With my back to the fireplace, I sat on the ottoman in front of the most precious gift in my life. I looked at my daughter, seeing her for the first time in months. She looked like hell, or death warmed over, no offense to the Cullens.

Seeing her like this, so frail and sick, had anger boiling hot in my chest. I did what any father would do and for the first time in Bella's life, I unleashed it on her.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you ever put me through this again and I swear, vampire guard or not, I will tan your hide. How in the hell could you run off like that, leaving that letter? If you have a problem, you come talk to me. Despite what you may think, you are not my parent, I'm yours.' Never have I been so upset with her in my life, even her wandering the woods after Edward didn't compare to this.

'Why did you do it, Bella, not because of shit for brains, I don't believe that? What happened, Bella?" Part of me wanted to hug her, to hold her like a little girl, the other part wanted to shake her senseless. Instead, I took one of her hands in mine and rubbed it, needing her to know that I was here. It took her a second, perhaps two, before she launched out of her seat and into my arms.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I don't know how to explain it all. Everything is a mass of confusion. I've tried to be a good daughter, taking care of you and the house. Maybe a part of me thought that by going away you could have your life back, other than cooking, it's not like you've ever needed me around." Fresh tears hung in her eyes as she buried her face in my flannel shirt.

Slowly everything started clicking into place. I was as bad of a father as I thought. How could Bella think that I didn't need her? Moving my arms around her, I held her tight against me.

"From the moment you were born, I needed you. Every second of your life, I have loved you. It nearly killed me when your mother left and took you away from me. I fought like hell to get her to leave you here with me. She was and has always been such a mess. I always worried about what would happen to you. Those summers when you were little were some of the best of my life. Every summer I would battle with Renee over you staying permanently, until she stopped letting you come. I didn't want you to come up here to cook and clean, I wanted you, just so I could share your life with you. That's all I've wanted from the moment you were born. I love you more than you have ever realized, Bella, and I should have shown you more. You have and will always be the greatest gift that's ever happened to me Whatever you're going through, we'll get through this together." I could feel my eyes getting wet at the sting of tears and I tried like hell to hold them back. Cradling her like this in my lap was the closest, I had been with her since she was a child. We both missed so much, too much.

Still holding her, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. I pressed the speed dial button and listened as it connected to the station. "Fred, it's Charlie. I'm taking the next few days off. You're the deputy, call someone in for vacation pay. I don't care if I said I'd work, I'm Chief and I changed my mind. If anything major happens, call. No, you don't need to know the reason. It's Christmas for crying out loud. Call them part of my vacation days if you have to write something down." I hung up the phone before Fred could protest any more.

Lately the job had been taking its toll and I was increasingly considering early retirement. Hell, who needed pension when the stress would kill me quicker that a crook. I needed to start taking stock in the other parts of my life besides the force. One of those parts lay curled in my lap. The other was out traipsing in the snow, ready to kick her best friend's ass. Life was good.

It would be even better once I could get the hardheaded woman outside to realize the feelings I was having for her was far from platonic. That and I couldn't wait to get her out on a boat, and not just for the fishing.

Janine POV

"Damn, rotten, son of a bitch." If I ever got my hands on him, he was toast. The wind bit at my arms and I was too mad to go back for my coat.

"Come out here and face me, you pansy assed yellow coward. I swear I'm going to lay the smackdown on your vampire candy ass." I saw the footprints in the snow leading around the house. Bastard, he would want me to walk in the two foot high drifts. Making sure to step in Jasper's footprints was harder than it looked. It only took me twenty feet before I landed on my backside while trying to keep his prints. In another twenty I was cold and had a face full of snow.

"I hate you, don't you understand that. You used me, hurt me, tried to bite me, and played emotional mind fuck with me. Can't you just leave me alone? You don't get to do the nice stuff and just expect me to take you back, it doesn't work that way." I felt the cold snow melt deep into my bones and I didn't care.

All I'd wanted to do since I saw that damn turtle was to smash it to bits and cry. Crying was coming easier, than destroying something that hit too damn close to my heart. After the night of getting drunk with Charlie, the next morning I realized how close I had come to giving up everything for Jasper.

Jasper was the first person to make me feel anything in so long, that I let it run away with me. It was just like the night we had spent together. It had felt so good to be held, to be loved that I had never wanted it to end. Like a teenage dummy, I had fallen for the first guy who paid any attention to me.

Tears began to fall from my eyes as I thought of all my mistakes. It had been a mistake getting close to Jasper. Yes, I felt pitiful, but damn it he had used me, used me to get up his nerve, courage or whatever the fuck it was, so he could have Bella. Hell, I'd even helped him get this house ready for him. I felt like the geeky girl who makes cookies for the quarterback only to watch him share them with a cheerleader. It hurt, hurt like hell. The thing that hurt the most, when I had seen that damn turtle was how much I missed the friendship I thought we had, at least in my mind anyway.

He probably felt guilt, like he had the morning in Charlie's kitchen. If he missed me as a friend then he wouldn't be hiding in the shadows as I sat freezing my ass off in the snow. He didn't care enough about me to face me. God I was such a loser. Tears had frozen to my eyes in the five minutes the world had swirled around me in white. Thank goodness for those polar bear dives in college to get me used to inclement weather. Standing I brushed the snow off, my heart breaking, as I by passed Jasper's footprints and began making my own, alone, and up to the house. Luckily we had brought my car, I could wait in it until Charlie finished.

God, that night with Charlie had been wonderful. To see him pet Hank had been one of the biggest surges of pleasure I'd felt in a long time. Part of me felt like Charlie understood me. It touched me that he had been with Kevin the last moments of his life.

Charlie had given me back a piece of Kevin that I never knew was missing, the part of me that wanted to be loved, and ached to love in return. All of that was taken away when first Kevin then the baby had died. There was nothing and no one left to live for. I became an empty shell who lived for work and the mundane aspect of existence, it was the routine that kept me from losing my mind. Get up, go to work, come home, go to bed.

Jasper changed all that when he walked into the bank and brought back memories I'd wanted dead and buried. Then he brought me to Charlie and back to Kevin and the pain of all that I missed. Charlie should have reminded my heart of the pain of losing my family, but he didn't. Charlie reminded me of their love, of the happy woman I had once been while catching fish, or drinking Tequila and going wild in Mexico, he reminded me that it was better to have a family than no one. It was a constant reminder of what I missed and wanted back in my life.

"Go to hell, Jasper Whitlock. I hate you." I put more force to the words than I felt and it pissed me off that he would know. God I missed him. Apart from Charlie he was the only friend, the only family I had. I hate Christmas. Charlie had Bella back, Jasper had Bella and the Cullens, and I was left to another Christmas of Chinese takeout, Die Hard, and praying for a gas leak to take me in my sleep, slow and painless.

With my head down, I took another few steps in the deep snow and met a wall of ice. Jasper. Unable to take my own maudlinness any longer, I collapsed in his arms in tears. I had missed him so much.

"Where were you, asshole?" I beat at his chest with my fists, hurt and angry that he hadn't come when I was ready to kick his ass.

"I was hunting, after what happened I didn't want you to see me with my eyes so dark. I did hear the coward part, with everything else, and you're right. Part of me was running. I didn't know how to face you.' His hands were tender as they stroked my back while I cried.

'You're my best friend, Jani. I understand everything that you're feeling, and you have a right to hate me. I never did use you Janine, hurt you, yes, tried to bite you, yes. The mental stuff at Charlie's was because I didn't want to lose you. I've had the fortuitousness of having three good friends in my life, Jani, and you're one of them. Being friends with you, was never about Bella, yes it did help me build up a better tolerance for human blood, but that is all. I don't want to lose you. Your friendship means too much to me, and whether you like it or not, your family."

Jasper's words warmed my heart and together we walked back into the house. Charlie stood up from Bella and immediately came to me, his face a mask of concern as he saw how bad I was shivering.

"Get a warm blanket. Damn fool woman, are you trying to kill yourself? What in the hell was you thinking of taking off without your coat" Rapidly his large hands were running down my arms, trying to warm them.

"I was mad and didn't think." My teeth were starting to chatter so much that I could barely speak.

"One of these days, that temper of yours is going to get you in trouble. For shit sake, Woman, you are wet clear through. Bells, run a warm bath for Jani. Jasper, find her some warm clothes, and I still need that warm blanket." Charlie barked orders like the Chief he was. I would have laughed and bitched at him for picking me up, but I was too cold.

Charlie carried me to the fire and I found myself liking the feeling just a little too much. It was one thing when a vampire picked you up as if you were a feather, it was another thing when it was a flesh and blood man who made your heart race. Jasper was back with a blanket just as Charlie was sitting me down. He made sure I was facing the fire, then held the blanket up in back of me.

"Strip. You need to get out of those wet clothes.' Charlie looked away gentlemanly and I found myself wanting to be saucy, just to spite him.'Jasper, go see if Bella has that water readied yet?"

Instinctively I knew that Charlie was trying to get us some privacy and I was glad. Not wanting to fight with Charlie as well as Jasper, I began to undo my jeans, but they wouldn't budge, the fabric was too wet.

"I'm going to need some help." My voice filled with embarrassment as I again tried to tug the jeans past my wet derriere.

"Huh. What do you need help with?" Charlie for a moment stared into space and I tried hard not to giggle.

"My jeans, they're stuck." I could feel the slight heat rising to my cheeks despite the cold.

"Hang on a minute." Struggling with my jeans, I watched as Charlie walked to his coat, pulling out a large pocketknife.

"What are you planning on doing with that?" My eyes widened as he flicked the sharp knife open. The steel glinted because of the fire and even though I trusted Charlie with my life, I still gulped. These were after all my favorite jeans.

"I'm cutting you out." His face was serious, as was his voice.

"No, you're not, I'll just wait until they dry." I started backing up toward the fire.

"They won't be dry until tomorrow. Meanwhile, you need a hot bath before you get sick."

"I'll take my chances. You are not cutting these jeans." Defensively, I pulled the blanket around me.

"Quit being so damn stubborn, they're a pair of jeans."

He didn't understand, it had taken the past six months to get into these jeans again, and there was no way in hell he was cutting them from me. "Please, Charlie, don't cut them. I'll get out of them." I pleaded hoping it would work. It didn't.

"Woman, you've got about ten seconds.' His face was serious and I began tugging, but it was no use. Even though I'd worked out and lost weight, the damn pants were still too tight, and now wet, it was like being mummified. Crap. Tears filled my eyes and I struggled to hold them in. 'Hold up your arms, I don't want to cut you on accident. It's nothing to cry over, there just jeans."

"Dad, why don't you let me do this downstairs. The bath is ready. Another minute more is not going to hurt."

I looked at Charlie's daughter, Bella, now standing behind him. She didn't even know me and she was coming to my rescue. I was never more grateful to have another woman around as I was right now.

I didn't hesitate and followed Bella downstairs, showing me into the guest bedroom that Jasper had done for her. The room was beautiful, but I wasn't a fool. She was putting me here, to let me know that she was staking claim on Jasper and that his magnificent bathroom was off-limits. At least that's the thought that came to my head.

It was surprising to know that I was good with it. Jasper would always be my friend, even if he was an asshole. I could not deny the chemistry between Charlie and me. When he'd shown up at my door today, wearing old faded jeans, with an unbuttoned red flannel shirt over a black T-shirt, I'd almost had to grab the door for support.

Jasper was hot, but Charlie was walking neon sign proclaiming "Hot Sex Here". The way the width of his shoulders spread out and tapered to his waist almost made me weep, not to mention the view I'd gotten of his ass in those faded jeans. Now there was something that even I wanted to take a bite out of.

For all of Charlie's masculinity, he had looked at the floor when he'd asked me if I wanted to come over for pizza and a movie. He'd almost seemed surprised when without a word I ran upstairs to change into the now torturous pair of jeans. The look on his face had been worth the pain of sucking in and squeezing my intestines into spaghetti. That look told me that I didn't care if I could barely sit let alone eat one slice of pizza. Charlie's look made me think of candlelight, thunderstorms and sex until dawn.

"Do you need some help?" Bella's words startled me out of my daydreams of Charlie and melted ice-cream.

I shook my head in affirmation at Bella. Between me wiggling and her pulling, we were finally able to get the jeans past my hips and down. She left the room and I sank into the hot water with a sigh. I had forgotten how much I loved these tubs.

Lying in the hot water as it warmed my bones, I daydreamed of Charlie. It had been a long time since I had as much fun with someone as I did with him. If I were honest with me, I was in love with Charlie, and it had happened when he pet my damn fish. How could I tell him, especially with his daughter sick, and my friendship with Jasper? I didn't want to lose Charlie, being near him was like not breathing. It was something I just could not do. Why and when did life have to become so hard and so confusing.

Growing up, I was the only girl raised by my priest Uncle. He had tried but I knew that he didn't know what to do with me. He'd fought to keep me when others thought it was best that I go into foster care. I loved him for trying and for fighting for me. There were times when I was a bane, especially when I was more at home with the boys he coached for than with any of the girls. Though being the only girl at a boys catholic school might have something to do with that.

It had been easier to get them to see me as one of the guys than a girl. Uncle Paul had passed away with a sudden heart attack my first year in college. I still missed him. He'd done the best he could given the circumstances and together we mourned my mother and father. We were the only family each of us had and now it was just me. Sighing I slid down further into the water until it covered my head, leaving only my nose slightly above the waterline for air.

A hand on my shoulder startled me and I jerked upright, sending the water careening in the tub. It was Bella and she was holding clothes and a huge fluffy towel. I wished I knew what to say to her.

"I'll put these on the sink. Jasper says the weather is getting nasty so you'll probably be here for the night." There was a flush to her cheeks. She looked uncomfortable standing there.

"Thanks." I had to say something to her. For some reason I had the overwhelming urge to tell her that I wasn't after Jasper. He was all hers. "Bella, I just want you to know, Jasper and I are only friends."

There I'd said it and I could feel my heart and mind making complete peace with it.

.

"Good, I'd hate to see my dad hurt. He's happier than I can ever remember seeing him, and if you did that, then thank you. I don't like worrying about him." There was a fire there in her eyes and I knew instantaneously that while Bella may come across as shy, there was a rod of steel in the girl's spine. I wouldn't put it past her to kick my ass if I ever hurt Charlie. Instantly I liked her, and I thought she and I were going to get along just fine.

"Do you mind if I crash in your bed? It's been a long day." Right now all I wanted was a soft bed and at least eight hours of good sleep. Jasper and I could discuss our renewing friendship tomorrow.

"Go ahead. I'll take Jasper's and dad can have the other room, it's not like Jasper needs to sleep anyway." She turned to leave the room, then stopped at the doorway.

"Thank you for being here for him when everyone left. You helped make him stronger and I will always thank you for that. Your friendship means a lot to him, and I hope you'll forgive him for whatever he's done." She looked over her shoulder at me and I knew it took guts for her to say what she did. Jasper was a lucky vampire.

Bella POV

Janine's words about Jasper made me feel better and less jealous. Knowing how much Jasper and apparently my dad cared for her, then I would try my hardest to be her friend. Right now I was tired myself and like Janine, bed sounded too good to resist.

Jasper was leaning against the wall in the hallway and I didn't hesitate to be buried in his arms. It had been a long day. I couldn't wait to be in bed snuggled against him.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" Jasper's words surprised me. It was so unlike him to be unsure of anyone's feelings.

"I don't know, what did you do?"

He never told me what had caused the turmoil between them, only that they'd had an outing and that it was his fault.

"The night I rescued you from the cliffs, your blood was calling to me. It was so strong and I lost my mind for a few minutes. I hurt her, Bella. She was bleeding from a cut in her neck, a cut I'd made. I almost killed her, Bella. Her fear was so intoxicating and between smelling her blood and yours, I almost lost my mind. If she never forgives me, it will be what I deserve."

I could feel his loss as it projected slightly into me. To see Jasper so torn up showed me just how much Janine's friendship meant to him. He was always so strong, yet right now he was clinging to me. That he would show me his vulnerability meant the world to me, and I could feel my heart, breaking for him.

"Give her time, Jasper. I forgave you and she will too." I didn't have to mention the world's worst birthday party for him to get the meaning. "I'm going to go to bed."

He let me go from his arms and I missed the contact. It would be so easy to fall in love with him, if it wasn't already happening.

Voices and loud bangs woke me up on Christmas Eve morning. Stretching I got out of bed quickly, someone, probably Esme had laid clothes on the dresser for me. I put on a pair of black leggins and a dark pink T-shirt. Once I had everything on, I went to Jasper's closet, pulling out a black button down shirt. Not bothering buttoning it, I slipped into it, loving the smell of him that still lingered in the threads.

Being in his shirt made it feel like I was in his arms. I was going to have to raid his closet more often. I hoped he didn't mind. The one time I'd try to borrow one of Edward's shirts he'd gotten huffy and suggested shopping with Alice if I needed something to wear.

Wonderful smells were coming from the kitchen as I opened the door. For a vampire that couldn't eat, Esme was one of the best chefs. If she kept it up, I would gain the weight Carlisle wanted in no time at all. The door to my room remained closed, meaning Jani was still asleep. For a second I pondered waking her up, then decided to leave her alone.

Upstairs looked like a war zone. Furniture was against the walls that were not in pieces.

The first voice I heard was my father's.

"Would you care to tell me again, why you would put up new walls over wiring that's older than I am?" Charlie, Jasper and Carlisle were standing in front of a ripped out wall studying ancient wiring. All were dressed in jeans and flannel and had tool belts slung around their hips. The looked that fit my dad, looked a little out of place on Carlisle, and I tried hard not to laugh. It was different seeing Carlisle in anything but dress clothes.

"I think Jasper was more interested in getting the place livable than paying attention to the details." Carlisle nudged into Jasper's shoulder and they all turned and looked at me as I ascended the last step.

Charlie rolled his eyes while shaking his head back and forth. Jasper looked at his shirt and nodded his head, approving the look. I could feel the blush bursting on my cheeks then ducked into the kitchen. The wondrous smell turned out to be huge fluffy waffles with sliced strawberries, maple syrup and whipped cream. I'd died and gone to heaven.

"Good morning, sweetheart.' Esme turned from loading the waffle iron with more batter and smiled 'Are you hungry?"

"Starving." My belly also rumbled in reply and Esme chuckled.

"So how long have they gone at it?" I nodded my head in direction of the men while taking a plate from her hands.

"Since just before dawn. The power went out. Jasper and Charlie hooked the generator up which is the only reason we have power now. Jasper was telling your dad about the electrical problems and one led to another. When we got here, they were already knee-deep in sheet rock and bonding over tools. I think they are going to town in a few minutes to get started on rewiring. If I had known it was this bad, I would have done it myself months ago."

My eyebrow arched as I looked at Esme in disbelief. I knew she enjoyed decorating, but I couldn't picture her doing construction. She didn't seem the type.

"Whom do you think bought them their tool belts? Jasper's the best hand I've ever had. Most of the Forks house we built together. Emmett is great at demolition, and I always call on Carlisle when I need something did with precision, he has the hands for it. Edward and Alice never had the patience for construction and while Rose helped, I think it was to be with Emmett, more than anything."

I watched the easy comradery between my father, Jasper and Carlisle. Charlie didn't treat them as vampires, he treated them like he treated everyone, with respect. It was heartwarming and comical to watch them work, especially when I watched Charlie grab Carlisle's wrist as he was about to touch a bare wire. Carlisle started laughing, then looked at Charlie and he started laughing, soon after Jasper was holding his sides. It was an instant bonding moment and Esme and I watched almost in awe.

After taking the plethora of medications Carlisle had me on, I wandered downstairs to see if Janine was awake. Knocking lightly on the door, I didn't hear an answer. Opening the door, I looked in. Janine was in a tangle of bed sheets, her hair damp. She moaned slightly and I knew something was wrong.

"Carlisle." I said the name almost in a whisper, knowing he would hear me. A few seconds later he was behind me and moving past into the room. I went to follow.

"Stay back, Bella." I stopped in step. "Jasper, bring me my bag. Bella, go upstairs." His voice was demanding and I watched as he lifted Jani upright, checking her pulse and head.

"What's going on?" I could feel Jasper's worry as he projected it.

"She's sick, more than likely the flu. Bella, go upstairs, now." I jumped as his voice rose and he stared at me, his eyes flashing.

"I can help, it's not like I have anything better to do." I took a step back then stopped.

"You are in no condition to be helping Janine, and getting sick yourself, now go."

Slowly I backed out of the room and went into the family room down the hall. Other than a huge sectional sofa and equally huge flat screen tv, the room was bare. Boxes of dvds lined one wall. Knowing Jasper wouldn't mind, I opened the first box and began alphabetizing the discs, hoping the mindless activity would keep me occupied.

"You don't have to do that, you know." Jasper's hand on my shoulder startled me and I rocked back, falling to my butt.

"It's something to do." I mumbled, feeling cooped up. For months I holed up in one place or another, to say I was getting cabin fever would be correct.

"He's just worried about you. With your immunity low, you could pick up a virus too easily. Carlisle's just trying to keep you safe in the ways he knows how. That's what we get for having a doctor in the family." From behind me he pulled me into a standing position, his arms wrapping securely around my waist. I leaned back into him, needing my haven.

"I know. I'm trying not to get overemotional over everything. It's not working."It was frustrating.

"Listen. Charlie and I are going to run into town. Can I get you anything while we're there?"

What I wouldn't give to be able to go with them. The feeling of entrapment was quickly overwhelming. Doing absolutely nothing was something I was unused to. At home there was always laundry, cooking or cleaning to do, besides homework. The past few months I had enveloped myself in activity so as not to think about Edward being gone. It hadn't helped. Now I had nothing to do, and didn't think about Edward, so boredom was getting to me in a bad way.

"Take me with you, please. I need to get out of here. I'll stay away from people. I just need to get away. Please!" Turning in his arms. I looked up into his golden eyes, hoping the pleading in mine would be enough to sway him.

He sighed, while pulling me tight against him. "Why is it that I can deny you nothing? I'll talk to Carlisle, but I can make any promises. You know how he can be about these things, especially when it comes to you. If he says no, there will be no pouting from you, little lady." Pulling me back slightly, I saw that his eyes meant business, but he smiled at me before quickly kissing my lips. "You have to be the one to ask him, and I mean what I say, no pouting, or complaining."

Carlisle was just coming out of my bedroom and closed the door behind him.

"Can I go with Jasper and my dad?" I tried the same heartfelt look that had worked on Jasper, hoping it would work on Carlisle. I wanted to get out of the house, and if playing doe-eyed got me there, then I would do what it took. "Please, I'll stay away from everyone, I promise, patients' honor." I put fingers up to my head in the girl scout salute and pleaded with my eyes.

"I don't like this one bit, but as long as you stay away from people, you can go." Carlisle sighed much like Jasper.

I couldn't help the elation that bubbled up and I jumped up and down twice in excitement. Carlisle shook his head at me, then headed upstairs. Twirling, I grabbed Jasper in a hug, my energy won him over and he twirled me in his arms.

"I might have had a little to do with his saying, yes. Just this once. You won't get your way every time you know. Now get ready to go, I'd like to leave in a few minutes as long as Charlie is ready."

Quickly I raced into Jasper's room, glad for the pile of clothes Esme had left earlier. Tugging off the leggins, I tossed on the old jeans I recognized from Charlie's and an oversize sweatshirt. Within moments I was ready.

Charlie and Jasper were upstairs making a list in the kitchen. I was more excited than I had been in months. I couldn't stop myself as I wrapped my arms around Jasper's waist from behind, laying my right cheek on his back, I hugged him as hard as I could. I could feel his love radiating into me as his left hand moved across mine. Even Charlie's growl couldn't stop my happiness.

Carlisle came upstairs and added his own list to Jasper's, and looked over my attire approvingly. "I mean it, stay as far away from people as possible. Don't touch anything you don't have to, and as soon as you get back, I want you in the shower. Jasper, makes sure she eats a healthy lunch, no fast-food, and keep people from getting too close."

Jasper and I both said. "Yes, Sir!" At the same time and I followed with a giggle as Charlie and Carlisle both sighed in frustration. Today was going to be a good day.

"I'm going to go warm up the truck." Jasper kissed my head as he spun out of my arms. Instantly I felt incomplete and missed him.

Looking at the Christmas tree in the corner reminded me of my own list I had for the day, Christmas presents. It looked like today was going to be the day that I broke out the credit card Charlie gave me for emergencies. I was looking forward to shopping, wouldn't Alice be proud. As quickly as I thought of her, my mouth turned bitter and I forced the thoughts of her away. Someday, when I was a vampire, I was going to sock that damn pixie's head right off her shoulders.

The next ten minutes seemed long when I was anxious to go. Charlie more than once, shook his head at me, still drinking his coffee. Esme was downstairs helping Carlisle with Janine while Jasper was warming the truck. I couldn't remember being this excited about Christmas, ever.

I was pulling on my boots when Jasper came back in, snowflakes dusting his dark hair, his eyes liquid gold and smiling. The sensation of electricity hit my stomach so hard that I fell backward, landing on my butt. Jasper lifted my foot and slid my boot on, and while looking into his laughing eyes, I felt my insides feel like they'd been hit with electrical current. My head began swimming and I fought the urge to rip his shirt off so I could bury myself in his cool chest. I could faintly see the scar on his neck, my favorite one so far, the urge to kiss it, to nuzzle it and suck it was overwhelming.

Jasper's eyes widened and began turning dark. These dark eyes were different from the feral ones I'd seen on my birthday, there was a fire that laid just beyond them. I could get lost for days in those dark eyes, wanted to.

At the same time, we leaned forward and the current in me roared brilliantly to life as his cold lips met mine. His tongue slid across my bottom lip and I tasted the sweetness of his venom, instantly wanting more. For the taste of him alone, I was willing to burn. The thought was a sucker punch and I pulled back suddenly. The brief image, a glimpse of a daydream of being his, was a blast to my gut. Could I spend forever with him? Could I be his in every way, and he mine? Did I want that? A part of me, a large part was screaming yes, while the smaller opposition was tangled in images of Edward and being hurt again.

"For always, Bella. I'll want you for always, and I promise, as long as you want me, I will never leave your side." Jasper's love was a balm to the confusion as I took it fully into my body. It warmed me and brought me to life. I felt like Bella again, whole, complete and undoubtably falling in love with the man in front of me.

Charlie's cough caught us and I felt the blush flare in my cheeks as Jasper chuckled. Swiftly he had my other boot on and laced before I could blink, then helped me to my feet. I grabbed my purse that someone had brought from the house and hung on a peg and we left.

Once outside I was dismayed to find that I would have to sit in the back. Charlie immediately hopped into the shotgun position which left me in the smaller seats behind. Jasper's truck was beautiful so I didn't mind too much. It was a definite improvement over my old rust bucket.

The inside was warm and the backseat was more spacious than it looked. When Jasper hopped into the driver's seat, I could see the advantages of sitting behind him. As we drove, I felt myself begin to relax. Low country music was playing on the radio as we sat in silence. Deciding to be cheeky, I leaned forward, resting my head on Jasper's seat, my breath teasing the back of his neck.

He instantly stiffened in his seat. There was just enough room between the seats that I was able to wiggle my right hand through. Slowly I ran in along the back of Jasper's right thigh. His spine went straight and he quickly coughed to cover his moan.

"Bella, you need to put your seat belt on." My dad, ever the cop who notices everything ruined my fun.

I found myself dozing slightly as we drove, Charlie and Jasper's voices were low as they went over plans for the electricity. The dream came on me, swift, hard and dark. It was so dark. I could hear voices as they taunted me, pain as my flesh was hit, poked, slapped, and tortured. The smell of blood was so strong and my stomach gripped painfully as my head spun. One thought over and over rang through my mind. Jasper will come for me. Jasper will come for me.

I screamed out loud, flailing my arms as a cool hand shook me gently from sleep. My heart raced so hard in my chest, and I wondered if I were having another attack. Gently I was hauled out of the back of the truck and inside my haven.

"What's wrong, darlin'?" The concern in Jasper's voice, matched that in his golden eyes. It was all right. I was safe. It was all just a dream.

"Just a bad dream, I'm fine now.' I knew he wasn't convinced and had probably sucked up all the raging emotions from my dream. 'I'm fine, it was just a dream."

Jasper took my answer, but still kept his arm, firmly wrapped around my waist. The row of shops was a plaza and I was happy to find that I would be able to get my shopping done, while they did theirs.

"I'm going to go do a little shopping. I'll meet you guys back here." As if it was the most natural movement for me to do, I rose on my tiptoes and kissed Jasper on the lips, lingering for just a moment.

Without waiting for their reply, I turned and left. Swiftly I made my way toward the small antique store that caught my eye. It was here that I was able to find everyone on my list, without leaving. Wondering through the shelves, I found an old fly reel and pole for Charlie with a collection of flies. He'd always wanted to try fly-fishing and I hoped this would encourage him. I was overjoyed with my gift for Esme. It was a pendant depicting a mother and child and I knew it would touch her deeply. The antique dressing table set with its silver and mother-of-pearl backs on the mirror and brush brandished the initials R.H., made me think of Rosalie and her long blond hair. I added it, even though Rose wouldn't be here, I couldn't pass up the gift for her, that and I knew that secretly she would love it. For Emmett, I found an old framed poster of a dancing bear and knew that he would appreciate the irony. Carlisle was harder to shop for and I finally settled on a beautiful pocket watch and fob. An intricate design of swirls suited him. I had a hard time not picturing him pulling it out of his pocket to check the time. Janine's was simple, especially after last night. The pendant was a carved jasper stone turtle. I hoped it was something she would accept in friendship and to show her that I accepted her friendship with Jasper.

Jasper's gift was the hardest, so many things caught my eye, yet none seemed just right. It would have been easier if I had known his past and more of his likes. Meandering through the store I wound up by a shelf filled with antique books, but the books did not catch my eye. It was the book sitting inside the glass counter. According to the sign it was a rare first edition of Gone With the Wind supposedly signed by the author. Knowing that Jasper was from the south, I was hoping that he would love it. Walking back to the counter, I told the woman who'd helped me earlier of my intention to buy the book. It was going to break the bank and I promised to make it up to Charlie.

With my treasures being boxed and wrapped, I left the store and wandered to the nearby coffee shop. Knowing Carlisle would be strict with a no caffeine policy, I ordered a peppermint tea and sat by the windows watching the people walking in the snow. Watching, I saw Jasper and Charlie leave the hardware store. I could not take my eyes off Jasper as he began striding this way. He was a vision of raw masculinity and power. My heart began thumping wildly in my chest, with a possessiveness toward him that made me want to smack the women who were openly gawking. I wanted to run up to them and proclaim that he was mine.

Jasper's eyes looked up and direct into mine, his face lighting with a smile. My heart fluttered and I knew that he saw me. It would be so easy to fall for him, to give him everything that I was. Even from outside the glass, I could feel his love cocooning me in its warmth. It made me yearn to give into my feelings and fall. Someday, I hope soon, I would have enough courage to do just that.

The bell jangled over the door as he walked in and over to me. Moments later the bell jangled again and Jasper stepped smoothly out of the way as Jessica Staley and Lauren Mallory glided in laughing and carrying packages. They both noticed Jasper and stopped in their tracks. As far as everyone knew, the Cullens had left town.

Lauren gasped and grabbed Jessica's coat so hard I thought she'd rip the sleeve off. The both watched open mouth as Jasper came to me. Bending, his lips smiled once before tasting mine in a long leisurely kiss.

"Are you, ready darlin'? Did you get everything you needed?" His smile was mischievous as he helped me on with my coat. I felt a wave of it hit me and decided to play with it.

"I just have one last stop, Victoria's Secret. A stop I wouldn't have to make if you would quit tearing apart all my lingerie." Standing on tiptoes I kissed his lips and rubbed my body down his as I lowered my feet.

"I'm sorry, baby, I can't help it, all that lace just drives me mad and it's so much fun tearing them off you. Get whatever you want, my treat, hell, buy out the whole store, we might as well stock up now. Knowing us, it might be awhile before we come back to town." Jasper's large hand lingered on my rear end briefly before traveling up to my waist and under my shirt.

Lauren and Jessica were standing still, their mouths opened in silent gasps. I could tell by Jasper's smile that they were green with jealousy and envy. We walked out of the coffee shop and I burst into a fit of giggles. I never knew how much fun it would be to torment them.

"You were just naughty." Jasper swatted my behind playfully and I found myself leaning into his side, letting him wrap his arms around me.

"You didn't help matters." I steered him toward the antique store. His eyebrow raised at the packages once we were inside, but said nothing.

Charlie was waiting for us when we got to the truck. Jasper loaded my packages into the back with me. We stopped once at a pharmacy for Carlisle's list, then we were heading home. I was tired and happy. Again I found myself falling asleep in the back while listening to Charlie and Jasper talk. I found myself dreaming of Christmas tomorrow and giddy with anticipation.

Esme fixed me lunch when we were finally back at the house since we were back earlier than expected. I placed the presents under the tree, and went downstairs to shower then finish my nap. My body felt tired, all the time.

Later that evening, I heard voices coming from the air duct in the ceiling. It was my father's and Carlisle's voices. They were talking about me.

"So be straight with me, how's she doing?"

"You might want to sit down, Charlie."

"I'll stand if you don't mind."

"I'm not sure yet, just how damaged her heart is, but it is significant. To figure out more, I need whatever information you and Bella's mother can provide for medical history. Without admitting her into the hospital I'm limited to what I can do. Years ago we would have done what I am doing now, and that is keeping Bella confined to an invalid status."

"So in time, she should be fine."

"Unfortunately, her condition will never allow that again. Her heart is too weak. You saw how she was when you returned, even little jaunts like today, are taking their toll, not only on her heart, but her entire body. I will be honest with you, because you deserve it. She possibly has less than a year, until the damage will require a transplant, if her body is strong enough to consider that step. There is also the possibility that her body would give out before a donor could be found. Hearts are the hardest of all organs to obtain, and while Bella's case would put her higher on a list, her age is against her, children are always taken care of before adults. Even working outside the law on the black market, finding one compatible for Bella would take more time than we have."

"You can change her, make her like you, then she won't have to go through that."

Hot tears began falling from my eyes as I heard the anguish in my father's voice and more than a tinge of it in Carlisle's.

"Until I know more about her heart, I hesitate to do it outright. The change into a vampire is horrific on the body at best. It could kill her, Charlie."

They went silent after that and I understood why. I needed to get away from here. Again the walls began closing in on me, slowly. Slowly I snuck to the closet as quiet as I could. Inside I found a pair of Jasper's boots and slipped them on and over my jeans. Over my head I threw on one of his sweatshirts and tiptoed out of the room.

I was just reaching for the door's handle to slide open the glass when a cool hand covered my own. Jasper. Turning I saw his face fill with anguish and I knew that he heard the talk between Charlie and Carlisle. In the blink of an eye he was gone and then back, carrying the heavy quilt from his bed. Doubling it, he wrapped it around me, then lifted me into his arms.

The night was perfect and clear overhead. A million brilliant stars lay across the heavens, twinkly in the crisp air. Where we were going, I didn't know, and didn't care. The cold filled my lungs and I felt like I could breathe. Neither of us said a word until Jasper stopped, bent and sat. We were on a dock looking over the river. For what seemed like hours we just sat, until I could feel the cold seeping into the blanket.

"Sit right here and don't move, I'll be right back." Jasper kissed my head and suddenly I was alone.

Looking up at the sky I was amazed at the depth of the stars and tried not to be afraid of what was happening. The sob caught my chest and throat, just as my haven wrapped himself around me once more. I heard a crunching sound then felt slight heat as Jasper slid two large hot packs into the blanket with me.

"I bought the hardware store out of as many as I could. They should keep you warm for a while." He laid his chin on the top of my head as I let the sobs take my body.

"I'm scared, Jasper. I don't want to die." The words were barely whispers as I let my fear open.

"We won't let you. We'll find a way, Bella, I promise you. I'm not going to lose you, not now, not in a year, not ever. I'll change you myself if Carlisle won't. You're strong, sweetheart, we'll get through this together."

Jasper POV

I sat holding her, my mate, my soul, my existence and tried not to fall apart. Carlisle's words in my office had ripped my heart out by force. I couldn't lose Bella now, not after just finding her. She was strong and together we would make her stronger. I wouldn't wait for the chance of her heart worsening. Better to change her now than wait.

As her fear became overwhelming, I fought back with my courage and strength. I would give her all. I had to give. We sat staring out over the icy river and into the dark night. As the night darkened, more faint traces of the Aurora Borealis laced tendrils across the sky.

"Look, Bella, quickly." There in the sky, trailing from west to east was a pair of shooting stars, in perfect synch with each other. "Make a wish, my Bella."

I'd already made mine and was working on it even as we sat here. Someday I would make Bella my wife and mate and together we would seek out eternity. Slowly I was feeling the change in her feelings she wanted to love me but was afraid. I understood her fear, more than she could know. It was the same fear that I had that she, would be taken away from me.

"Thank you, Jasper, for everything." Her words were small against my throat as her nose nuzzled my neck. The smallest touches from her set me aflame.

We sat for a little while longer, until even the hotpacks were losing their heat. "We'd better get you inside darlin', or Santa is never going to visit." With a finger I tapped her nose, loving the sound of her giggle. God but this girl had me wrapped around her finger. With every last atom of my body and soul, I loved her.

Standing with her tucked in my arms. We made the way back to the house. I had no doubt that Carlisle would be furious, and it was Esme that was keeping him from coming after us and ripping my head off for being irresponsible with Bella's health.

"You, outside, now!" The command hit me with force as soon as I opened the door. Carlisle's voice held authority and power, even though he was not my sire and I did not have the automatic urge to do his bidding like the others, I respected his age and position.

I turned Bella over to Esme and followed Carlisle outside. His emotions were all over the place, especially after admitting that Bella was dying. The rage wasn't just because I had taken Bella out, it was knowing that even with all of Carlisle's expertise, he could do nothing at the moment to save her.

When both of us called a stalemate, it was Christmas morning. Together we sat on a tree stump overlooking the pasture and both of us tried not to lose ourselves in misery. Neither of us could face the possibility of losing Bella completely.

"We'll find a way to change her. We'll get her as strong as possible, then we'll change her. It's all we can hope for. You especially are going to have to be vigilant with this. One setback, just one would mean everything. You can't let her get her way all the time. Remind her that we're doing this because we love her and don't want to lose her. It's all we can do, son. I'll do everything in my power so we don't lose her." Carlisle's strength was a comfort and I tried to soak up as much as possible.

"How's the arm, old man?" I looked to Carlisle's left arm as it fused on.

"Better, how's the bite?" The right side of my leg was burning and my calf would have another scar tomorrow. I had grabbed Carlisle in a leg lock, only to have him bite me. Other than turning, with the others, Carlisle never bit any of us. It led to an immediate stop of the fight, with Carlisle's shame and embarrassment.

"It's fine. You get to explain it to Bella though." I took off running so I would get to play the wounded warrior and have Bella tend my wounds, or at least baby me for a bit. I couldn't wait to get back into her arms.

I heard Carlisle mutter something about "Damn kids." And begin running to catch up.

Bella's eyes showed immense fatigue as she sat on the sofa waiting. Esme by her side, both were holding hands, and Bella's head lay on her shoulder. We had worried them, and they were also angry that we'd stayed gone for so long.

Bella flew off the couch and into my arms, wincing when she saw my jeans shredded from the knee down. "What happened?"

"Just a little rough-and-tumble, we're fine, and it will heal. Shouldn't you be in bed?" I looked into her sleeping eyes and began pushing more lethargy into her.

"That's not fair." The words came out slowly as Bella's eyes rolled back and I caught her as she fell asleep. I carried her downstairs and tucked her into bed. Kissing her softly, I crawled in next to her, and began waiting for morning, and tried to clear my mind of everything but how to get Bella better. It had been all I could do not to let my emotions flood the house last night as I held Bella and prayed that she would be okay. In the dark hours of the night, when all was quiet except beats her erratic heart, it was hard not to think of what I would do for eternity without her. I wouldn't be able to live without her. Life would not be worth living. Bella's nightmares had also started in again and my heart broke for her as she cried in her sleep.

Christmas morning dawned bright and beautiful, it also brought the pounding at the door. Carefully as not to disturb Bella, I slid out from the warmth of her arms. After she had fallen asleep, I'd gotten into flannel pajama bottoms and a T-shirt, knowing there were too many people in the house to traipse around in shorts and nothing else

Charlie was just coming out of his room, and Carlisle was coming out of Janine's. We looked at each other, wondering who could be pounding at the door at five o'clock on Christmas morning. Another pound had me flying and I reached the door just as a meaty fist set to strike again.

"It's about damn time, geez, people could freeze into popscicles out here waiting for you." Emmett pushed his handful of bags at me, as did Rosalie and they barged past me into the house.

"Come on in." I muttered just loud enough for them to hear.

"Mom, dad, we're home." Emmett's booming voice was enough to break the sound barrier.

"Shut up, damn it man. There are people sleeping. Are you insane? It's five o'clock in the morning." My whispers were furious as they placed their bags down in the entryway.

"Sorry, nice spread man, what's happened to the walls." Emmett lowered his voice, though it still echoed in the silence.

"Electrical issue, what are you doing here?" They were supposed to be searching for the asshole, not showing up in people's homes uninvited. The sorrow and loneliness coming from both of them, made me regret my harsh words. Damn Emmett, and his too soft heart.

"Come on, Em, I told you this was a bad idea." Rose started pulling Emmett toward the door. She was angry and hurt, more so when she saw the Christmas tree and decorations. It had been so long since we'd celebrated the holiday. I never would have thought that Rosalie and Emmett would be the ones to miss it so much. They had come, wanting to spend Christmas as a family, and I made them feel unwanted. God, I was an ass.

"I'm sorry, guys. It was as bad night.' Running my fingers through my hair, I watched as Carlisle and Esme started up the basement stairs. 'Please stay. It would be nice to have Christmas as a family, especially this year. Make yourselves at home, and no elk, I mean it."

Immediately the mood lifted and Emmett's club size fist hit me between the shoulder blades, almost rocking me forward. "Let's get the party started, where's Bella, and who else is here?"

I stopped Emmett from barreling down the stairs, just barely. Carlisle and Esme laughed. Emmett saw our mother and grabbed her, swinging her around the room while she exclaimed. Quickly he set her down then went to Carlisle, who looked at him sternly. To Em it didn't matter, he swung Carlisle around to, while our father tried hard not to laugh.

The feeling of being unwanted still flowed from Rosalie, and though she was happy for Emmett, she was sad. I went to her, throwing my arm around her shoulders and hugging her to me. I was happy they were here and happy to celebrate the holiday with them. For all of my stance on breaking away from the family, they were my family, and always would be. I loved Rosalie and Emmett as much as Peter and Charlotte.

Standing here, holding my sister, I realized how much I had missed her. Where everyone else saw Rosalie the bitch, I knew the truth. Rose had a heart of gold that she hid beneath her spine of steel. She was the family protector, and often its voice of reason. She also didn't hate Bella as much as she wanted everyone to believe and even now worried and wondered if she was all right. Rose did hate that Bella was willing to give up life and everything humanity had to offer. Her feelings for Bella were that of a true big sister. She didn't want Bella to make the mistakes she had.

My heart flowed with love for my little sister, Rose was the vampire counterpart of my sister's combined. "I love you, and I'm glad you're here, Bella will be as well. She has missed you both terribly." Briefly her mood brightened, but I could still feel her disbelief.

"Yeah right, she's missed me." Rose rolled her eyes, but inside I could feel her hope.

"Why don't all of us go hunt, while the others wake up.?" Carlisle patted Emmett on the back while Rose went willingly into Esme's arms. We left through the front doors and went running, feeling more complete as a family than we had in a long time, even with two of us missing.

Being with them, I realized how wrong I had been. I didn't need to live without them to be my own man, knowing them and finally having the guts to stand up for me had done that. They all helped to create the man that was with them now. Who knows what would have happened without them, chances stood in favor of my going back to Maria and a life of horror, death, and violence. Before Alice, I was lost, with no one and nothing to fight for. She gave me a family, herself, and a future of relative peace. For that I would always love her, even if she hurt me, for whatever reason she needed. I was finally ready to let go and forgive her. Just then as we were all sitting in a clearing, respite and full, my phone rang. It was Alice. I answered hitting the speaker for everyone to hear.

"Hi, everyone, I miss you, and Merry Christmas." She sounded less frantic and worried than in the past.

"Alice, where are you, young lady, you have your father worried sick." Esme's voice held the full concern that she leaked at times.

"I'm sorry, Mom, and Dad. I wish I could tell you, but I can't. Don't worry, I'm okay, and we'll be together again before too long, I promise. There are still things that I must do and take care of before I can come back to you."

"Why can't you tell us, Alice? Anything you're going through we can get through together." Carlisle's worry and love hit me hard.

"I wish I could, but I'm sorry, I can't. This is something that I have to do. Emmett, and Rose, I miss you both so much, and I love you. You need to go east. You'll find him, use the GPS on his phone. He's going to need you. When the time comes, you need to stick by him, trust me, it will work out. Jasper, there is so much I want to tell you. First, I'm sorry, so sorry. I hope now you can see why I had to set you free. She's your mate, Jazzy, and your singer. I couldn't keep that from you. I loved you enough to set you free. There is going to come a time soon, when you need to set the beast free, and when you do, the family will fully understand you. I wish I could be there to see you in all of your glory, but it won't be time yet. I love you, my dark angel. Tell Bella that I miss her, and that I love her, even if she hates me, she is still my sister. I've got to go, I love you and have fun today, for me. Your presents should arrive tomorrow, it seems places just won't deliver on Christmas day."

Pain and loss surrounded me, with a feeling of release. The release lay inside me and I felt free. Damn pixie. She'd seen that Bella was my singer and my mate. I could imagine the devastation she had felt. I had felt it when she left. If it took me forever, I would repay Alice. She was right, she had loved me enough to set me free, and for that I was forever in her debt. Her love for this family, and for Bella was one of the most special things about her. I hoped that someday she would find her true mate and I prayed that he would be worthy of her, because if he wasn't I was going to tear him apart.

"Come on, let's do as she says and enjoy the day." Carlisle's voice shook us all from our separate reveries. We followed as a group to the Cullen house where the rest changed clothes then back to my house.

We stopped just outside and listened to the three different heartbeats that lay inside. Three separate people that trusted us that didn't fear us and gave us their friendship and love. As a family we were incredibly blessed, even more so by having them in our lives.

I saw the enjoyment Carlisle had gotten yesterday in working alongside Charlie, and felt a bonding of brothers begin to form in them. It wasn't unlike the bond I shared with Emmett and even Edward. With us Carlisle always took on the parental role, even with me, who was the oldest. With Charlie it was different and I saw how lacking in older male companionship my father was. He didn't treat Charlie like a child, but as an equal. Esme fussed over him, the same as with everyone, but again I saw that it wasn't in a motherly way, just Esme.

Carlisle and Esme had not left Janine's side during the night, caring for her as they would have any of us. Again I thought of the differences in the way they treated her and us. It was here with Esme that I felt a sisterly bond and knew that Janine was a great balance for Esme. Janine was more wild and carefree where Esme was reserved and quiet.

For so long, my parents had been lacking in companionship of their own. Sure we had the Denali's, and even though we considered them family, it wasn't like the bonds I could feel forming. It wasn't hard to picture Charlie and Carlisle fishing, or Janine and Esme gardening and decorating. I wondered if Alice had seen everything. Our family was growing and changing in ways that I never could have imagined. Maybe the Volturi was right in their fear of us. Soon our numbers would rival theirs.

We listened to Bella's heart as we stood outside the house. Every few beats, her heart would stutter, never in the same way. Carlisle and Esme quickly felt sorrow, then closed it off from me. Rose and Emmett were listening in disbelief, both realizing the gravity of her situation without a word from Carlisle. They had been through enough school to know what heart arrhythmia and its severities caused.

Once we were all inside and I'd changed, Emmett followed Esme into the kitchen and I watched as my brother and mother began cooking breakfast. Em with his human proclivities was the only one who had any interest in learning to cook with Esme once Bella had come to the family. Surprisingly enough, he'd excelled, even teaching Esme, a thing or two. Before long, nauseating smells were coming from the kitchen with laughter and the flow of love.

Charlie was the first to come upstairs, heading directly for the coffee pot and pouring a cup. He had dressed before coming up in jeans and his typical flannel. Even with the presence of two more vampires in the house, Charlie took everything in stride, murmuring a good morning before he sat down at the table, bleary-eyed with his coffee.

Esme was making a tray up for Jani and I took it from her, hoping that my perspicacious friend was up for a talk with me until Bella awoke. Knocking lightly on her door, I heard her grumble. Without waiting for a reply, I went in, sitting the tray down on the dresser.

She was lying on her side, her dark braid tumbling over one shoulder. Bella's pajamas would have been too tight on her voluptuous curves, so Esme had put her in one of my T-shirts. She looked adorable and miserable.

"How are you feeling? I brought you some breakfast." I went and sat in the chair on the right side of the bed, the side she was facing. I pulled it closer and took her hand in mine.

"Like death, you'd know what that feels like, right." Even sick, her mouth ran away with her.

"I have a vague idea.' I smoothed tendrils of hair out of her eyes, glad to not feel a sign of fever. 'Do you think you can eat?" Her eyes were bright from being sick and she groaned while shaking her head, mumbling about gas leaks and Chinese take-out. I shook my head. Sometimes it was better not knowing exactly what she was thinking. It made me wonder what it was going to be like when she and Edward finally met. They were an explosion waiting to happen, and I had a feeling that Edward would be running for cover with his tail between his legs.

After helping her to sit up, I placed her tray over her lap. She tucked into what Em had called a frittata. I just watched her, soaking her in. It felt so good to see her again. Seeing her made the ache of her loss, slowly start to fade.

While her mouth was full, I took the opportunity to talk "Even sick, I'm glad you're here. I can't apologize enough for hurting you, and I swear I will do whatever I can to make it up to you. I'm hoping you'll wear this again.' I pulled her charm bracelet from my pocket and set it on the tray. I'd grabbed it earlier while changing with one of her Christmas gifts. The gift was hanging with the other charms. It was a one-inch long carved ruby turtle, since ruby was her birthstone, I couldn't resist the purchase.

For a moment, Jani fingered the turtle, a tear cascading past her eyelashes and down her cheek. She held out her wrist and I put it on. A sharp knock on the door pulled me away. Charlie's heartbeat had upped in rhythm and I could feel his jealousy. I nodded to him as I left, sending him a dose of courage. It was about time he told her how he felt and quit stalling.

Opening the door to my room, I noticed Bella was still asleep meaning I'd dosed her with a little too much lethargy last night. Her limbs spread wide on the bed as she lay on her stomach. The sheets wrapped around her like coils of a snake. One delectable foot hung out over the bed. The scent of her skin was tantalizing and I moved without thinking. Picking up her foot, I kiss the arch, nipping lightly at the skin that beckoned me. Her heart rate sped and I could feel her awakening. Moving over her swiftly I wanted to be the first object her eyes saw when they awoke.

Her eyes began fluttering and then I was falling into deep liquid pools of chocolate. My love for her was encompassing and her smile as she reached up to run her fingers through my hair was enough to make me die for her. Rolling both of us onto our sides, I grabbed her hand and kissed it, never losing eye contact.

"Merry Christmas, my Bella. Dress and come upstairs. There are surprises waiting for you."Quickly I kissed her and left so she could dress.

Charlie POV

She looked like hell, or at least had been there and back. Good old-fashioned jealousy reared its ugly head as I saw him put her bracelet on. I knew she had been missing it from the way she would rub her wrist at times. Jasper nodded to me as he left and I felt courage wrap around me. Damn kid.

"Hi." Her voice was hoarse and she coughed hard into her hand. She smiled and pointed at the mask, Carlisle was requiring me to wear. I immediately was to take a shower afterward and give Esme my clothes to wash. It was a hassle but to be with both of my girls. It was necessary.

"Hi, how are you feeling?" I shut the door behind me and went to the bed, crawling in beside her instead of sitting in the chair. I needed to feel her close. Being with her felt more natural than breathing or even fishing. It amazed me that in such a short span of time, how much she had come to mean to me.

"Probably as bad as I look." She instantly wrapped her arms around me, laying her head on my chest. My heart tightened and I let Jasper's false courage do its job.

"You look beautiful." She scoffed and swatted me lightly as I chuckled.

"You're blind as a bat." Her head settled over my heart and she laced her fingers with mine. Her hands felt so small, yet so perfect, like my hand was made to hold hers.

"Well, it's your beauty that's blinding me." God, where in the world did that come from. Damn my brain and mouth. I was happy to hear her laugh and feel her snuggle against me. Pushing the covers off she wrapped one luscious leg around mine and I felt every nerve in my body begin to stand at attention. My mouth suddenly went dry and I wished that I didn't have this stupid mask on my face. There was now the matter of a certain item burning in my pocket. I sighed deep.

"Spit it out Charlie. It's not like I'm going anywhere, anytime soon." She moved to sit up and I pulled her back into my side, turning her head so I could look into her dark eyes, the flecks of gold and green almost making me lose my tongue.

"Aw hell. I'm in love with you, Janine. I know we haven't known each other long, but I'm too old to take forever when what I'm feeling is the truth. I love you, Jani. Marry me and together we can figure out the rest." Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the ring the jeweler had helped me pick just yesterday. I'd slipped into the jewelry store while Jasper went to find Bella. The round stone was set, according to the jeweler, in an eternity band. Knowing eternity held different meanings to different people, like the Cullens, made it the only choice.

Her hands captured my face, pulling off the mask, then her lips met with mine in such force that I thought both of us would hit the floor. "Yes, Charlie. I love you too." The words were the sweetest I'd ever heard next to Bella's first cry. I didn't care that she tasted of medicine or that her hair was matted and that she had dark circles under her eyes. She was my soul mate. I'd finally found someone that fished, drank beer and watched sports, and wanted to do all three with me.

Tomorrow I would start filling out paperwork for an early retirement. The Cullens and Bella had shown me that life was too short. I was going to marry my girl, and spend the rest of my life proving to her and my daughter how much I loved them. Who knows may be, somehow along the way eternity might just figure into the picture.

For now in this moment, I was content to hold her and love her. Janine and Bella were the best blessings to ever happen in my life. Just holding Janine, even though I yearned to make love to her, was enough to keep my soul content. I knew together we could get through anything that was thrown at us, even vampires and werewolves.

Carlisle POV

I sat watching as my family grew exponentially. Never had I dreamed that we would double our numbers. There was no denying, we would now become the greatest opposition to the Volturi's way of life, even more so if we added the Denali clan. Caius would be out for our blood before too long, especially with so many gifted among us.

"Quit worrying my darling, everything will work out, it always does." Esme's fingers ran through my hair at the nape of my neck. Her loving fingers always knew just how to soothe me.

"So where is everyone else, are not we supposed to be celebrating around here." Emmett was literally hopping in place. My son had more energy than the ubiquitous Energizer bunny. He had been snooping into the packages under the tree for a good fifteen minutes, pointing out to an unusually humble Rosalie that one of the presents was for her, from Bella.

I looked at my incessantly proud daughter and wondered why Bella's gesture surprised her so much. Bella's thought for Rosalie, even with their tumultuous relationship touched me and I could tell it touched Rosalie as well, getting her to admit it though would be like pulling teeth from a vampire's jaw, nearly impossible. I would make sure that my daughter was no unkind to Bella on this day or else, she would see a side of my anger than she had never seen. She was getting too old for this nonsense. Without meaning to I found myself growling at Rosalie, who looked at me in shock.

"What did I do?" Her voice raised just a hair.

"Nothing, yet.' All the times that Bella had tried to get close to Rose came to my mind. I was tired of her using Bella as a scapegoat for our problems. 'If you so much as make that girl shed one tear, or even flush in embarrassment, you and I are going to have problems, do you understand me, young lady."

"What do you mean? Mom, what's going on?" Rose looked shocked.

"It's not hard to figure out Rosie. Dad wants you to be nice to Bella." Rosalie looked at Emmett incredulously. "Come on, babe, even you have to admit, you've always been hostile. Bella doesn't deserve that Rosie. Dad, doesn't want her upset, especially today." Emmett rubbed his wife's shoulders and tried to keep her ire under wraps.

I knew we were all looking at her, imploring her good behavior, for just this one day. Rose sighed, her lower lip quivering.

"It's not that I don't like her, I think she's naive to want this life, when she hasn't had a chance to live. Why would she give up children, love, family, to be like us? Giving up that chance would be the worse mistake of her life. I'd give up immortality in a second for the chance to hold a child in my arms."

I knew Rose would have been crying if she could. I went to her, pulling my oldest daughter in my arms. "Aw, sweetheart, you can't project your wants on someone else. What you wanted, is not the same as Bella. To you there is nothing better than family, but you need to understand Bella. Bella was raised an only child to divorced parents, when Edward started seeing her, he gave her the one thing she always wanted, a family. Families to some, mean a passel of children underfoot, to Bella it's just being loved by those she loves. She loves all of us Rosalie, even you, so much that it tore her apart to be away from us.'

'Her pain wasn't just about Edward. It was about all of us. We were wrong to leave her on Edward's whim and I'm glad Jasper had the courage to stay behind. I'll never leave her like that again Rosalie. She's just as much my daughter as you and Alice. Our family is growing and changing, and we must do what all families do, and that is to learn to adjust and still love each other. I am learning to adjust to my children may not all be under my wing anymore. I've taught you how to fly. It's up to you to know, how high you want to soar. We will always be here when you need or want us."

I could feel Esme's hand on my back and knew she was agreeing with me, it was time to let our children go. If they messed up, then like any parent, we would be waiting with broad shoulders and loving arms. Being around Jasper, and seeing how much he had grown had helped me immensely. I could not shelter them any longer. They were all well past the age of choosing their own lives. It would be a great disappointment to me if any one of them slipped from our diet, but I would love them, the same.

"I'll be good, I promise. I want this to be a wonderful Christmas as much as everyone. I'll talk to Bella, and apologize to her. I don't hate her, even if that's what everyone thinks, I just don't want her to look back on her life and regret anything. Maybe if someone had blown the fairy dust from my eyes, I wouldn't be here now, I'd be an old woman in a nursing home." Rose pulled back sharply as a strangled sound came from Emmett throat, then he was gone, out the door and running.

This day was turning into a Christmas television drama.

It was at that exact moment, Jasper and Bella came walking up the stairs, hand in hand. Bella was still wearing her pajamas and Jasper had a look of pain on his face. I watched as my son let go of his love and pull his sister into his arms. It was in that moment that I knew Jasper was in so many ways that glue that held the family together. He knew us better than we knew ourselves.

"I'll go talk to him. He loves you, Rosalie." He kissed her on the head, then kissed Bella on the lips then took off after Emmett. Rosalie's shoulders hunched as she flew to the door, anguish written on her face.

I watched in amazement as Bella went to her, wrapping her arms around Rose and laying her head on her shoulder. My strong, stubborn daughter, broke. Wrapping her arms around Bella, her shoulders shook with tears, she couldn't shed and remorse for her words.

Bella POV

It was surprising to see Emmett and Rosalie here, but I was glad. I had missed both of them. Seeing Rose so lost as she stared out the window after her husband and Jasper, I knew I couldn't stop myself even if I wanted to. I went to her, wrapping my arms around her from the side. Her cries in my shoulder, as she clung to me, told me how sorry she was for hurting Emmett.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Carlisle and Esme left the room. I wandered where my dad was, but not for long. I'd seen the concern on his face for Jani. There was no doubt in my mind that he was in love with her.

"Do you think he'll forgive me?" Rosalie's voice was soft in my ear and it was the human leading the vampire to the couch to sit.

"Jasper's right, he loves you. He just needs to blow off some steam. Do you believe that Rose that you would have been better-off living to be in a nursing home, rather than with the Cullens?" I wanted to understand why someone, who had it all, wasn't happy with their life.

"Yes, I do, in many ways. All I ever wanted was to be loved and have a family, like my mother. I wanted six children, a big house, and love. Why are you giving it up for this life? I don't understand."

"Don't you see, Rose, you do have that, especially now? Granted the children are a lot older, but you can't tell me that Alice has never acted like a tween on a sugar rush. Edward's the kid you worry about because he's antisocial, you worry about Jasper because he gets in trouble, you worry about me because you don't want me to make your mistakes. You may not be a mother, Rosalie, but you're the best big sister anyone could ask for. You also have a big house, and the love of everyone in there. All I ever wanted was to be a part of that, a part of your family. Anymore I don't know if it was Edward that I fell in love with or all of you. Would you deny me the right to spend my life with my family?"

Rose looked at me, her eyes widening, a slow smile on her face. I could tell she was thinking, probably of all the ways her brothers and sisters were like children. She had never looked at it that way.

"Don't you want children, Bella, to be a mother someday, to be able to give life instead of just taking life away?" Her hands took mine. Did Rosalie not see the wonderful people in her life?

Behind us we heard the door softly snick open and inside walked Emmett and Jasper, neither looking the worse for wear.

"You gave me life, Rosalie. That should count for something. Without you I'd have been mauled by a bear and dead. Without Dad, you would have never gotten to have me. You'd be dust in a tomb by now. Ask her what's more important Bella? Is it dwelling on a future that she never would have, or a man and a family that love every last millimeter of her forever, even where her mouth gets in the way of her heart and brain. If you don't want this life Rosalie, don't want me or this family, then step outside and I'll light the fire, we can go up in flames together because I won't spend one second without you." Emmett picked Rosalie up by her arms and brought her up to his eyes.

"I'm sorry I can't give you children, Rosie, and I've tried to make it up to you these years. But damn it, woman, there comes a time when you need to be thankful for what you have and quit livin' in the past. If you want a child so bad, we'll find a way, we'll adopt, start an orphanage or something. We'll find a way without you going off the bend and turning a kid. I'd prefer not to have the Volturi after our asses because my wife has a never-ending ticking biological clock, and quit trying to guilt Bella into changing her mind. The girl is as stubborn as you, and I'm looking forward to picking on my little sister for at least the next hundred years." Emmett turned and winked at me as he hugged his wife.

"I'm sorry Bella and Emmett put me down, unless you would prefer not opening your Christmas presents." Rose kissed Emmett full on the lips as he put her down.

I pulled Rose into a huge hug, letting her know that I forgave her. "I know you're just looking out for me, big sister." Quickly I kissed cheek, laughing at her stunned expression.

"If everyone is done with the melodrama for the day, the human needs to eat. I'm starved." As if in response, the whole room started laughing as my stomach rumbled loudly.

"So when are we going to open presents? Dad?" Emmett was enough of a big child for all of us and I laughed when Rose smacked him in the chest.

"Let Bella eat, Emmett, aren't you supposed to be fixing breakfast for her anyway?" Carlisle was standing in the kitchen doorway glaring at Emmett, who immediately snapped to attention.

What a minute, Emmett was fixing me breakfast. Did he even know how to cook? Oh, god! I was going to be poisoned on Christmas day.

"Ah, it's okay. I'll just eat toast or something. Don't worry Emmett. You're clear." I tried to brush past Carlisle, but Emmett beat me to it.

"Do you want the same dish I made for your dad and Janine, or something different? I'll make you anything that you like." I couldn't hold the giggles in as Emmett began pulling out pots and pans and handfuls of ingredients from the fridge.

"Anything is fine as long as you guarantee that I won't get ptomaine poisoning." It was fascinating to watch him work.

"Here you can get a better view." Emmett lifted me deftly and set me on the counter. He would impress any celebrity chef out there. I couldn't contain my laughter as Emmett began speaking in a Julia Child voice.

The rest of the room gave away as well, Jasper flowing the joy throughout the room. Leave it to Emmett to make everyone feel better. I was incredibly lucky to have him in my life as a big brother. As wonderful as Emmett was, I was missing the closeness of Jasper. Looking up into his eyes, I knew he could feel it too. He was in front of me in an instant and I wrapped my pajama clad legs around his waist from behind. My arms encased in a long sleeve T-shirt went around his neck and I laid my head on his, running my hand through his curls.

I wondered what the family thought of his like this. Gone was the blond hair and fine, chic clothes, and standing in front of them was a man who looked like he just stepped off the ranch. Even his voice had changed and now his southern accent was more pronounced than I'd ever heard it. He seemed more confident and didn't lurk in the shadows, or leave anymore.

"Dude, are you purring? Get a room, beside the kitchen.' Emmett looked at us, brandishing a large butcher knife. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I had not noticed the rumble coming from Jasper's chest. It was his sign of contentment. 'And what's with this stuff anyway, aren't you both supposed to be mourning lost loves or some shit?"

"Emmett, language." Esme called from the living room where she and Rosalie were catching up. Carlisle had gone back downstairs to check on Janine. Several times, I had noticed all of them looking toward the stairs and I wondered what was going on between my dad and Janine, he had been down there a long time. I did want him happy, so the time away was not necessarily a bad idea.

"If you must know, I am head over heels in love with this woman, and as soon as she gives me the go-ahead, I plan to love her forever." Jasper leaned his head around and caught my lips in a lingering kiss, his golden orbs locking with mine. His eyes were so full of joy and love that I could feel it warming me. Edward had never shown this affection for me in front of his family and for a moment I was stunned.

"So is this what Alice meant about her being your mate and your singer?" Emmett began dishing up whatever he had made on a plate and set it on the table while flicking a towel over his shoulder.

"Alice called, when?" This piqued my curiosity. I knew that she had called before, but never when I was around.

"You were sleeping darlin', the rest of us went on a hunt and she called all of us there." His right-hand fingers traced lazy circles on my leg, before grabbing a hold and pulling me off the counter.

I was feeling naughty, and more than just a little jealous. I let go of his neck and slid down his back, making sure that my breast and hips rubbed against him as I went. His small growl told me I'd had the desired effect. It was Emmett's growl that made him step aside so I could go to the table and eat.

"She said to tell you that she misses you, loves you, and even if you hate her, your still her sister." Jasper's words caught me off guard. I hadn't thought of how I felt about Alice. I was pissed off that she left him that she left me and her family. She alone knew everything that was happening, while we sat out in the cold. Was I extremely pissed off at her, yes? Did I hate her that was a million-dollar question? Did I hate the one person that had befriended me unconditionally, even if she tortured me with shopping and beauty products? No, I could not hate Alice, she had given me her greatest prize in accepting that Jasper and I were mates, or at least would be. I could never hate Alice, want to shake her silly, but no, I could never hate her. Just like I could never hate Edward for leaving me. Their leaving gave me Jasper and even if I wasn't fully in love with him yet, I knew I couldn't live without him.

The tears began rolling down my cheeks and I stood quickly, running for the bathroom. The truth that I didn't hate Edward was painful and it clutched at my heart so hard that I felt faint. Even after all the pain he caused me, I couldn't bring myself to hate him. Did that mean I was still in love with him? Did I still want him back? God, this was a mess. Did some part of my heart want Edward to come back, and if so, for what?

I knew I cared for Jasper, so deeply, but I wasn't yet ready to call it love. I had loved Edward with everything I had. He'd promised me that he would never leave me, would Jasper make the same promise and not keep it? I was so confused about everything except that I didn't want to hurt Jasper. I wanted to be free to give myself to him, that's what he wanted. Was I hurting him by not giving into our feelings right away? It seemed so wrong to tell him that I loved him, if I wasn't sure. I knew what it felt like to love someone who didn't fully love me. I could never do that to him, especially after Alice.

There was a soft knock on the door. I didn't want to answer it, didn't want to have to face who was on the other side.

"Bells, it's Dad, open the door honey. They're all gone, Bells. Esme made them leave, even Jasper. Emmett had to drag him out of the house. It's just you, me and Jani in the house. Come on out honey."

Slowly I went to the door, glad that Jasper wasn't around. I didn't want him to feel my confusion and doubt. It would hurt him so much if he knew I doubted him for even a second. "Daddy, why is everything such a mess?" I opened the door and all but leaped into my father's arms.

"According to Jani, she's got just what you need. Come on in. We have some news for you as well." Charlie showed me into my own room. Jani lay propped up in bed, looking how I felt. A mask was on her face as well as Charlie's. He handed me one. "Carlisle's orders. I don't know how you'll take this with everything else, but I hope you'll be happy, or at least try. I asked Janine to marry me, Bella, and she said yes." Charlie's eyes were beaming over the mask.

The tears started coming again, but instead of clinging to my dad, I crawled onto the bed and beside Janine. I was happy for them, happy for my dad. They had found each other and love so easily, why couldn't it be easy for me.

Seeing it was more of a girl's moment, Charlie walked out of the room closing the door behind him. I began telling Jani everything, from Edward leaving and Jasper rescuing me, until last night and this morning. She stroked my hair and just listened, only adding a snort, here and there. I was glad that she waited for me to get everything out and off my chest before she spoke, well laughed.

"You and I are two of a kind, kid. We thought we were in love with someone, then the right one comes along, turns us on our heads, our lives upside down, and hanging by a scrap of sanity. You have to answer your own questions, honey. Can you forgive Edward, still care for him, and yet still move on with your life because the person waiting for you is better for you, and loves you with everything he's got? I did.'

' My husband died in your father's arms, during a shootout. I loved Kevin so much that I thought I would die without him. For too long, I was hanging on by a string, barely alive, until Jasper showed up, then low and behold I find your dad. I even thought I was in love with Jasper, he only had eyes for you, but he's still my best friend. Jasper made me come alive after being dead, but it's your father that makes me feel alive inside.'

'Sometimes love is fickle and a downright pain in the ass. The one you want to love is a stubborn, jerk, who always thinks he knows right. Now the one you truly love, is the one you tell everything to, the one whose touch makes you feel whole inside, and even holds your hair when you hurl. That's real love, sweetheart. I think you're halfway there already, you just have to let go and believe and trust again. Believe me. The believing and the trusting are harder than the loving."

"Now how about us girls have a Buffy marathon, with tons of ice-cream and no boys or romantic movies allowed."

When the rest of the family returned, they found Janie and I propped in up bed, each with a half gallon of ice-cream and yelling for Buffy just to kill Angel and get it over with. Esme and Rosalie climbed in the big bed with us, without ice-cream of course, and soon all four of us were fawning over Spike full of sexy wounds. We stayed that way for the rest of the afternoon, moving from Buffy to Moonlight. Jasper's ire and jealousy filling the house as I swooned over Mick St. John.

Jasper came in and pulled the DVD's from the room, tossing them in the trash can. Rosalie snatched the Buffy ones before he could do the same. It was funny, for a vampire, Jasper had an impressive collection of vampire movies. Someone though, Esme, more than likely, stuck in the Notebook and had all of us bawling out eyes out and running for our mates at the end.

It was six o'clock at night, Jani, still masked, but feeling better, and I were still in our pajamas. We were all sitting upstairs in the living room, watching Emmett portray a six-year-old child. We had kept him waiting all day to open presents and we were finally giving him his wish.

"Who wants to play Santa?" Emmett was raising his arm and waving it back and forth while making money sounds. Yep, he definitely was Rosalie's monkey man.

"Jasper, since it's your house, why don't you do it, son." Dad held Jani cuddled in his lap, having dispensed with his mask since Jani and I were wearing one. I glared at Carlisle as I yet again straightened the hot offending mask over my mouth and nose. He shook his head at me and glared back.

Jasper was all smiles and I could tell he was happy that Charlie had called him, son. His smile was lighting up his face and I longed to kiss him. Emmett was sitting on his hands and bouncing, while Rose rolled her eyes and scooted away, hoping whatever he was on wasn't contagious.

Soon we had a pile of presents in front of us, even Charlie and Jani. Just as we were getting ready to open them, there was a knock at the door. We looked at one another, wondering who it could be. Jasper went and answered the door.

"The lady on the phone said that if I got these here tonight, there would be a huge tip from Mr. Whitlock." The courier was standing next to a loaded dolly.

"I'm him and you will. Is this it?" Jasper grabbed his wallet from the hall table.

"No, there's two more loads."

"We'll get them if you show us which ones." The man's face beamed which meant I could only wonder how much he'd given him.

"Come on Emmett, let's make ourselves useful." Carlisle pulled a forlorn looking Emmett up by his shirt collar and I edge closer to the fireplace as the open door was bringing in the chill. Rose wrapped her arms around me, if though they lent little heat.

"Come on guys, you're letting out the heat and we have frail bodies in here." Rose shouted at the guys and within moments they were carrying in more packages than we'd had before.

Soon after we started in, saving Alice's presents until last. Jani loved her pendant and put it on immediately, after wrapping me in a hug. Charlie was already planning a fishing trip with Jani after seeing his reel. Emmett portrayed the bear in his picture and I was glad that even Rosalie liked it. Esme choked up over her pendant, surrounding me in a hug so tight I didn't think she was going to let go. Carlisle hugged me hard as well over his pocket watch and told me he couldn't wait to use it at the hospital.

"Merry Christmas, Rose." I leaned into her as I sat next to her by the fireplace, Jasper at my other side. I still hadn't got warm after the opened door.

"Oh, Bella, they're perfect. How did you find them? I have been looking for these for years. Do you see this scratch her on the handle? This happened when I threw them at my little brother for barging into my room with a toad. You don't know how much this means to me, thank you so much." Her hug surprised me and I hugged her back, glad that we had finally buried the hatchet and it wasn't it either of our backs. That I had bought her a present that she'd owned in her previous life astonished us both.

Jasper was slow to open his, almost looking afraid or in awe. I wasn't sure which. Slowly he peeled the paper away from the book. His face lit with joy and his eyes held an emotion I couldn't place.

"How in the world did you find this?" His voice was low as he opened the front cover and saw Margaret Mitchell's signature.

"I just turned around and it was there. Is it all right, do you like it?" I bit my bottom lip, worried that he wouldn't like it, or that it would bring up too many memories of his time before Alice. I knew the basics of how they had met and that for many years, Jasper had lived as a nomad.

"I love it, it was the first movie I ever saw. I went back twelve times, amazed at how right they got some facts and how wrong they got others. Thank you, Bella. I will treasure it always." Jasper pulled me into his lap, holding me so tight I could barely breathe. I was ecstatic the book brought happy memories for him.

"Bells, you haven't opened any of your presents yet." Charlie looked at me and pointed to the pile in front of me. I had been so wrapped up in watching everyone else's reactions that I had failed to open my own. I was also more than a little nervous after the birthday fiasco. What if I got another paper cut? What would that do to Jasper?

"You'll be fine." He had come so far and I knew that this was a test, probably more for him than me.

Slowly, I started in on Carlisle and Esme's, unwrapping it slowly and trying not to touch the edges. Inside was a picture of a beautiful island. I turned my head, looking at both of them curiously as they stood next to the Christmas tree.

"That is Isle Esme, we're giving it to you for a holiday whenever you'd like. We'll make all the arrangement, you just have to tell us when, and you can take whomever you'd like with you. It's secluded and takes a long boat ride to get there. Just let us know when you want to go." I stood trying not to trip over my feet, luckily Jasper's hand shot out and kept me steady as I waded over wrapping paper and unwrapped packages. I pulled my adopted parents in for a huge hug.

"Thank you. It will be wonderful to get away from rain." Turning I went back to my position at Jasper's side.

"Open mine next.' Emmett presented the long box proudly. There was some heft to it, and I looked at him, while raising an eyebrow. Inside the long box was a child sized metal baseball bat. 'It's not for baseball, it's for hitting that thick skull of his, or Edward's when he gets back. We can't have you hurting yourself when they need a good beating."

Jasper glared at his brother while moving the object out of my grasp and away. I didn't think the bat was that bad an idea. I could have used it a few times last spring. I looked at Jani and her hand before grabbing it from Jasper and handing it to her. "Whenever you need to use it, you'll know where to find it." Jasper growled and in a flash took it out of her hand and flew downstairs, with no doubt hiding it from both of us before we could use it on him.

"Here, mine next." Rosalie handed me a large box tied in a brilliant red bow. My fingers fumbled with the ribbon, when I felt a sharp stab. Damn it, not again.

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A/N Well here it is the first part of the end of this part of my trilogy. The second part of this chapter will be up as well, and that is a promise you can take to the bank. There is not going to be at most one day in delay. The second part of the trilogy, brings Edward back into the story and begins his journey. It will be up soon as well. I am hoping to be well on my way to finishing up this story this summer as I will be starting college in the fall.

Hopefully this long chapter and the one to follow will leave me with my head in tact after my absence. These two chapters have been the hardest to write and I wanted this first ending to be done with justice. Hugs to all, and review, even if it's a flame. I take criticism very well!!

Aerialla