Chapter 25 These three words
Claire looked at him. She tried to understand. Really hard. She tried to understand why he had done this. Why he had made her to forget such a thing? Claire had a dreams about this night. They were blurred and she had thought that they really were only her dreams. They were not. Her whole body filled up with anger and she clenched fists over her stomach, grabbing the blanket in them.
She looked at him. He was standing there. He was standing close to her bed. His hands were in his pockets and he looked ridiculously cool. The emotions of his face were gone in the moment he had told her that her life is his now. Claire clenched her teeth. She knew that there is no point though. When Peter wanted something, he just took it. He was like that now. He had nothing in common with his past self. He had nothing in common with that Peter; Claire had met in the hallway in Odessa. That one was gentle, carrying, and polite. This was had nothing in common with that man. This Peter was dark, cold and trusted in his instincts. This one would not have second thought, but made her his. This one had made her to forget and pushed her into life Claire would not choose otherwise.
'You had no right, Peter!' She said coldly.
'I thought that it was best for you!' Peter shrugged. His eyes gazed her.
'You thought! You! What about me?' Claire hissed. 'What about my feelings? Did you ever think of them?'
'You were eighteen, Claire.' He snapped. 'You weren't old enough of taking decisions. I had to do that!'
'But I was old enough for you to sleep with me?' She hissed again and her eyes narrowed even more.
'I told you to run.' He said quietly, but she saw one dark force building up in his eyes.
'You didn't tell me why!'
'You want me to apologize?' He still spoke quietly. 'I won't do that! I wanted you! I want you now! That's the truth!'
'So you just get what you want. Is that right?' Claire frowned.
'Not everything.' He hissed. 'Just you!'
'Why me, Peter?' She looked at his eyes and saw his face crooked. 'You could have anyone.'
'I had 'anyone'!' He said roughly. Claire flinched. 'I had many after you. I tried. I tried really hard to forget you, but I couldn't! You're in my blood Claire and sometimes this is driving me crazy!'
'Then pull me out from there!' She snapped.
'I can't do that!' He shot her one look. 'I don't want that!'
'You are crazy, you know that?' Claire said that, but she knew that she did not want to leave his life either. That would kill her right now. That would destroy her and already was once before.
'You're driving me crazy!' He said and turned his back on her. He slipped hands behind his neck and laced fingers there. 'Damn you Claire! Just get sleep, okay?'
'I don't want that!' She said and saw his shoulders shook. 'Stop telling me what I have to do!'
'You keep pushing me over the edge, aren't you?' Peter said huskily and released his hands with one jerk move. 'Don't do that.' They hung beside his body.
'I wanted to know! I wanted to remember! You took that from me!' Claire almost yelled, but her tears built up in her eyes. 'Damn you Peter!'
'Stop whinnying! It doesn't suit you!' He said and turned around.
'Is that why you are with me? You can control me?' She asked and brushed her tears angrily.
'Now you're talking bullshit.' He turned around and looks at her. Her face was wet. 'I couldn't control you.'
'But you slept with me.'
'I am sleeping with you.' He frowned even more, seeing that she could not stop crying.
'You have power over me and you know that.' Claire said and flinched when he sat on her bed.
'Yes, I have a power.' Peter reached out his hands and pulled away hers from her face. His fingers trembled as he touched her cheekbones. 'You love me, Claire.' He wiped out her tears and Claire closed her eyes, swallowing hard. 'This is my power over you.'
'And that gives you the right to do whatever you want with me?' She asked huskily.
'You are all I have, Claire. You are my everything and I cannot bear to lose you. Don't you get it? I can't let you go! I can't!' He said stroking her hair. Something in his voice made her anger went away.
'I know you love me, Peter. You said that to me already. Why you can't…'
Peter put one finger over her lips and shook his head.
'Sleep now, Claire.' He bent over her and replaced his finger with his lips. They brushed hers lightly and he lifted up again. 'Just sleep…' He saw her eyes closed. 'We are going to have plenty time to talk.' Peter whispered after he saw her normal breathing. She was sleeping. Peter took her hand in his and his thumb drew small circles on its back. He sighed and his eyes gazed her peaceful face. 'Don't you get it Claire?' He whispered, sure that she would not hear him. 'Don't you know that I've always wanted what's the best for you? But I'm too weak now. I'm too weak to walk away, because I… I love you, Claire.' Peter still looked at her. She looked beautiful even when she slept. 'I'm sorry, but I still can't tell you these words. I have to pay off my guilt towards you.' He sighed again. 'I have to do that, before I could tell you how much you mean to me.' Peter lifted up her hand and his lips touched her fingers gently, barely perceptively. 'Sweet dreams, Claire.' He whispered.
They released her the next afternoon. The doctor warned her to take it easy. That was her second paroxysm during her first trimester. Claire had not told to Peter about her first one, so when her doctor walked out she prepared for his anger. There was not any. He just sighed tiredly and took her in his arms, walking out of the door.
'Let's go home.' He said and teleported them out of the Hospital. Claire was shocked. When they teleported in their apartment she still kept quiet. Peter put her on the bed and covered her with one blanket. 'I'll be back.' He said and walked out of the room. Claire just lay there with amusement. Peter was the same cold person she remembered since from the beginning of their sexual relationship.
Peter walked back, holding one glass with water and some vitamins. He placed the on the nightstand and looked at her.
'You have to drink this.' He said and Claire just looked at him. 'Did you hear what I just said?'
'What's wrong with you?' She asked.
'Nothing is wrong with me.' Peter frowned and tried to pull back, but Claire grabbed his wrist.
'What are you doing?' He hissed and Claire saw his old self, coming back.
'I want to know what is wrong here.'
'I told you…'
'You're lying!' She snapped.
'Look who said that!' He hissed again.
'Peter, please! How many times I have to repeat this?' She pulled him down and he sat on the bed beside her, avoiding her eyes. 'The baby is yours!'
'I want it to be mine Claire!' He hissed, but did not move again. 'But the facts…'
'This is the only fact you need to know!' She placed hand over her stomach. 'This and the fact that I love you, Peter! I'd never…'
'Stop! Just stop okay!' Peter freed his wrist with one jerky move and got off the bed. 'You don't have to do this Claire! I told you that I won't leave you…'
'It's not only for that Peter! Damn you!' She slipped up and sat on the bed. 'Why are you so stubborn, damn it?'
'Life thought me well!' He hissed.
'Life could get wrong!' Claire crossed arms before her chest, trying to remain calm.
'Stop it Claire! I told you already! What the Hell do you want from me?' He rose up his voice.
'I want you to accept that child!' She snapped.
'I did that already!'
'No! I want you to accept it as yours! It is yours, Peter!' Her eyes narrowed.
'It's not!' Peter sat on the bed and leaned towards her. Their faces almost touched. 'It can't be, okay? It can't!'
'Sorry to bother you, but it is!' She said, staring at his eyes.
'Stop!'
'It's true!' She insisted.
'I have to go.' He said and tried to get off the bed, but Claire grabbed his face and pressed lips to his. Peter hesitated just one second. Then his mouth opened and welcomed her. Her hands buried in his hair and pulled him even closer.
'Tell me… How I can love someone else… when I have you?' She said after she pulled back, breathing heavily. Peter gazed at her, wondering about the same thing.