Bethany tilted her head, she felt a scratching again, and it wasn't from Anders, Larius, or Darkspawn, it felt just a little bit different. She couldn't quite place it.

it had been a long two days, they had made their way through the Carta compound and down into some deep roads, with the tower in the center, which was...disconcerting. Once they had all descended into the structure a barrier formed, blocking their exit. it was clearly a Gray Warden compound, judging by the griffon emblems all over the place, and they had even found a demon in a magical cage with an ethereal memory of someone who sounded suspiciously like her father. The memory, or whatever it was, appeared to be guarding the demon...but that didn't stop her brother from finding a way to take down the cage so he could kill it.

They had just killed another demon in another magical cage, one that seemed to have frozen the thing. Once her brother had gotten close to it with his sword it was like he had released it and after they killed it Larius, a gray warden...only one she suspected seemed to have survived through the worst of his calling, appeared and was explaining the pillars to Hawke. Explaining being a relative term, she was unsure how her brother saw sense through it's babbling.

Anders had gotten very quiet when they descended into the deeproads, and remembering the last time she had been in the deep roads with him, she tried not to worry about it. I'll comfort him later, she thought with a smile.

They had not slept much the night before either, but she was not particularly tired. Grey Warden stamina and all that. But he appeared to be...wilting. He stood separately from the group and she approached him quietly. As she did so he knelt and held his head in his hands.

it was only when she knelt down next to him, confusion evident on her face, that she heard him saying, "I'm not listening...I'm not listening.."

Concerned, she placed a comforting hand on his back and was about to ask what was wrong when he jerked away from her. He fell back and, sitting on the floor, he blinked at her, as much confusion on his face as there was no hers.

"What's happening, Anders?" She asked.

He furrowed his brow and shook his head, "n-nothing."

They both stood and as he dusted his clothes off she folded her arms, "Anders..."

He looked up at her concerned expression and felt guilt descend upon him for lying to her. He glanced at the others and said, "I...can we talk about it later?"

She followed his gaze before offering him a small smile and agreeing. Turning around she saw Larius scuttling away and frowned, "why does he...feel different? He's not a darkspawn, obviously, but he doesn't feel like any Gray Warden I've been around either."

"He's had his calling, I'd say. Poor man...we should kill him to put him out of his misery." Anders said sadly.

Turning to him she frowned, "it's one thing to hear that it's going to happen to you, its entirely another to see it, firsthand."

He wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders, but did not reply. Sometimes there were no words that could comfort.

...

They had made camp in the very room they had slain the demon, and Isabela, Nero, and her brother were scouring the area, looking for something to make a fire with. Sebastian and Fenris were debating...whatever it was they debated about, and Merril was listening to Varric tell her some tale or other. While everyone was occupied Bethany pulled Anders far enough away from the group that she could talk to him without them overhearing.

Anders sat down and leaned against the wall, looking up at the ceiling, he sighed loudly and said, "Andraste's knickerweasels I hate these blighted deep roads."

Bethany sat down beside him and waited till he looked at her, when he did she said, "what was that earlier? What happened?"

He frowned and looked away, worrying his lip. "ever since we first came down here, I could hear...a voice...but not Justice's, this one is...not very comforting, not that Justice usually is. And there is a music, similar to the scratching or scraping sensation you hear when a darkspawn or another Warden is nearby, but entirely different. I don't know what it is. But the voice, sometimes its louder than others, and it sort of overwhelmed everything else for a moment. Have you...heard anything different?"

"No...nothing I didn't recognize, other than Larius."

"Maybe I'm closer to my calling than I thought...maybe Justice sped it up." Anders said.

Bethany entwined their fingers, "I doubt that. You aren't anything like Larius...maybe, maybe its got something to do with what the dwarves were hearing, weren't they talking about music?"

Anders furrowed his brow and shook his head, "then why aren't you hearing it? That doesn't make sense."

Leaning back against the wall as well Bethany sighed, "maybe...hmm...maybe its because I haven't been a Gray Warden as long?" she offered a small smile to him

Anders tried to give her a reassuring smile in return, but it ended up as more of a grimace. She leaned against him and watched Sebastian talking animatedly with Fenris, trying to think of something to change the subject, but she couldn't think of anything that wasn't depressing. it was only after the silence began to feel uncomfortable that she decided she would go for it anyway.

"Once more to the Deep Roads. I remember when that seemed so daunting... full of promise. We were young and stupid. Let's hope we're not just older, eh?" she smiled.

"Ugh."

Trying a different approach, she said "you know, sometimes, I think I see why you left the Grey Wardens. it's already getting old, spending my entire life surrounded by darkspawn."

Anders shook his head, "that wasn't it. I meant it when I joined the Wardens. I expected it to be for life. if I wasn't prepared for that, I would never had gone through the Joining."

Curiosity piqued, Bethany asked what happened.

Anders frowned, "Justice. Apparently even the Taint Brigade draws the line at abominations."

Surprised, she asked, "wait, they knew?"

"Daylen knew, I don't know if he told anyone. He said he wouldn't at least. He knew Justice, and he knew me, so he felt that we would be fine."

"Wait a second, Daylen was in the tower before he was recruited, did you know each other then?"

Anders chuckled, "of course, we didn't get along that well though. I thought he was a geeky prude, he thought I was an asshole." he laughed at the last part.

She smiled, "surely he didn't really think that. He was the one that recruited you, wasn't he? Why would he do that if he thought you were an asshole?"

Anders smiled, "I think his words were, 'smart-ass, self-serving, lazy, good-for-nothing, slut'"

Bethany burst out laughing, "good lord, what did you say to that?"

"You really want to hear the bad things I said about your cousin? I think it might be sacrilege to speak ill of the Hero of Ferelden to a Ferelden." He teased.

"Fine, don't tell me then." she stuck her tongue out at him.

He smiled and placed a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her towards him, he kissed her briefly before standing, and helping her to her feet.

"C'mon, I'm hungry...and tired...and I don't think we're going to be able to get away with spending the night away from the others tonight, so maybe I'll actually get some sleep."

She smacked him in the chest, "don't pretend like I'm the one that keeps jumping you, there have been plenty of times that I was ready to fall asleep when you started poking me."

He laughed, "fair enough."

They joined the group and sat down, it wasn't long before Hawke, Nero and Isabela returned and a fire was started. Bethany began cooking, saying that she wouldn't eat the filth the others claimed as food.

Nero sat down next to Anders gloomily.

"So, Anders," he said, "back in the Deep Roads. Like it or not, hmm?"

Anders scowled, "like it or not."

Bethany, overhearing and fearing that he would undo the work she did putting him in a good mood said, "well, I'm glad you're here." she only hoped that it helped.