So fast? Yeah, well…today was a four day weekend for me…and I finished most of my homework and the remaining homework I do have I plan to do on Monday…and I just got to writing Friday night and it just…continued…and now you've got yourself this chapter. I barely did any work on this chapter in terms of editing, so if there are major errors, please let me know. I'm too scatter-brained right now to do anything.

But yeah…don't expect an update for a while, since I have college and everything…and I've just gotten a great idea for another fic. It's going to be the ABC's of Kiba. I got a prompt from each letter of the alphabet and am going to be making twenty-six one-shots for it. It all centers around Kiba. Most of it may wind up being ShinoKiba, but not all of them will have a pairing, and some of them will have different pairings. (NaruKiba; KanKiba; ShikaKiba; (that I know of so far) it'll depend on my mood in the one-shot. I know the first one-shot won't involve a pairing at all. Here's a spoiler for ya: The prompt is Alien, and revolves around just the members of Team Eight. Hmmm…)

Alright…so…remember in the last chapter when I said Kidoumaru really should be a gamer…? Well…here we go. This takes place immediately after Kiba leaves Shino and Shino comes to that realization in the last chapter.

And remember (if you read my grumblings in the A/N note last chapter) when I said I wasn't a gamer? Yeah. It's very obvious in this one. I wrote this chapter specifically so I could show Kidoumaru was a gamer, and half of it is about the differences between arachnids and my own spastic ramblings of old monster movies, minus one reference to Gears of War. I find stuff like that (old movies and the intricacies in classifying creatures) extremely interesting…but, of course, there's going to be people who hate it. The beginning of this chapter will be incredibly boring to those of you who do.

I will say this–it's also incredibly obvious what I grew up watching. Half of the old movie shit in this is a reflection of my childhood days watching movies with my Dad.

Anyway…since I know it's boring…I decided to give you all an early gift. Because I know why everyone clicked on this story in the first place.

Enjoy. (It's not exactly work safe, just so you know.)

Must Love Dogs
Scene 26

Kidoumaru threw the door open to the bar, making his way to the counter. As he did, the wheels in his mind ground to a halt and he actually stopped, staring at the man having a drink at his designated spot. That messy hair, those shoulders. He knew those well, having had stared at them for so long. What the hell… That fuck was back in town? According to Kiba the other night, this was the reason why he hadn't befriended him earlier in high school. He was certain if Kiba had joked about his spiders they would've gone along with it willingly, both of the brothers being absolute pranksters. But still…it never happened, and it was because Sakon had made Kiba think he was jealous of him.

He was jealous of Sakon, but Sakon jealous of him? Ha! The entire time during high school, he'd watched them. The two were distant during school, but on the way home from school they opened up to each other more. Or…Kiba had opened up. Sakon had just pushed him away and continued talking to his brother, coming up with a plan or two to cause trouble.

"Hey, Spiderman…I thought I'd find you here…"

He spun around to see Kiba standing there at the door. His head whipped around back to the bar, where Sakon was still staring at his beer. He pursed his lips together, looked between the two. What to do…? Show off in front of Kiba…or get him away from Sakon?

The latter seemed more pressing considering how upset Kiba had been when he last saw him–even he could see in the brunette's eyes that there was something broken about him, no matter how confident he'd seemed when he was flirting with him. Kidoumaru grabbed Kiba's arm, smiling.

"Hey, Kiba. Why don't we go out to eat or something?"

Kiba frowned, nodding his head regardless. "I already ate dinner, but alright…"

"Then…we can just take a walk…"

"Alright. That's okay, too. I actually was wondering…um…could I spend the night at your house tonight?"

Kidoumaru pushed him out the door as Sakon finally turned to look back casually, and he slammed the door shut before anyone could see who it was. He sighed, staring at the man through the window for a split second, meeting his eyes–why did Sakon look so vulnerable and anxious for once?–, before he turned back to Kiba, who looked slightly hurt.

"What was that push for?"

"I just…didn't want the people in the bar hearing me say I wanted you to spend the night with me."

Kiba's eyes narrowed. "…But you openly admitted to them that you were the one I was with when they all discovered I was gay and my Dad blew up… You can't deny it. Kimimaro told me all about it."

He threw caution to the wind, hoping the reason Sakon and Ukon had started to avoid Kiba their senior year was because Kiba had been the one to break it off. If that were the case, there was a smaller chance that Kiba would've harbored feelings for that bastard. "Sakon was in there."

Kiba smiled. "Oh…well, thank you for trying to get me out of there. I'd expected you to offer to buy me a drink, so I wondered why you weren't…" He looked down at the concrete, shifting a little. "…I…just wanted someone to talk to… Someone to help me forget about…everything…" He turned his eyes back at Kidoumaru slowly, that slight shyness rushing to the surface. "…You don't mind?"

Kidoumaru smiled, putting an arm around his shoulder and leading him back in the direction in his house. "Not at all. I think I'd enjoy having someone over there for a while. It's been pretty lonely after I moved out of my parents' house… To be honest…at the time I told you it was experimentation, I was at ends with my parents and for them to discover anything… I just… Well, my mother didn't mind, but my father did. He died, and I moved out of the house, became more open about my sexuality…"

Kiba stared at the street, walking, his chest tightening. "So…you aren't…close with her anymore?"

"…Oh…I am. I visit her every day and make sure she's taken care of. I mean, her upper body strength is good and all, but she still has trouble getting stuff from the cabinets over the sink, so sometimes she'll call me up and I have to go and get them out for her. She has trouble leaving the house, too, so I still drive her around places when I have free time from work."

"You work…at the gas station, right?"

"No. That was shortly out of high school. Now I am the manager of the computer store on the outskirts of town. It's pretty neat. Much better than doing strictly inventory like at the beginning."

"…The first time I actually took notice of you was back in freshman year, when I saw you at the grocery store with your Mom. Despite the fact that she could do it herself, you refused to let her push her own wheel chair…and you had all of the bags on your arms. At first I thought it was weird…but around Junior year, I kept seeing you there, doing the same thing, with this big smile on your face like you enjoyed every minute of it. I thought… 'This guy takes care of his mother so, so, so much. He must have the biggest heart in the world.' The next day I saw you with those glass cases for your spiders, walking into the school for a project or something, and then those guys knocked them out of your hands and started stepping on the spiders as they tried to get away…and I got really angry…" He frowned. "I just…I still don't understand how someone can just…hate someone that much. And for no reason, too."

"It's because I'm arrogant."

Kiba looked over at Kidoumaru, and the man nodded, shrugging his shoulders in a very casual way, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Yeah. I'm arrogant, and I think I'm better than everyone around me. I made straight A's in science class and on more than one occasion those guys asked to borrow my notes and I told them I didn't loan them out to people who were too stupid to take their own in class. I expected them to do something like that if I brought my spiders to school, but I did anyway."

Kiba looked down at the ground, frowning a little. "…Why did you?"

He shrugged. "…I don't know, honestly. All I knew was that you'd be getting there around the same time I was that day and I knew those guys would try something. I guess I just wanted to see if you'd stick up for me."

Something settled at the pit of his stomach, something like fear and disbelief all at once. So…Kimimaro had been right. Kidoumaru wasn't as helpless as he made himself look…and he'd fallen for it. He stepped out of Kidoumaru's grasp. "W…We all thought you started liking me after that incident… When did…When did you actually start liking me?"

"You didn't know? I figured you probably wouldn't have noticed… Our house is right behind yours, Kiba. I started liking you ever since I saw you running around out back with your dog… I think her name was…Kaede or something? You were always having lunch with your parents out back, too, and your mother would make something at the grill. Ever since elementary school, I liked you and wanted to get to know you."

Kiba froze. "E-Elementary school? Earlier today you said high school. W-W-Why the hell would you lie about that?"

"I just…" He frowned a little, rubbing the back of his head. "I thought it'd creep you out…and it's creeping you out right now…so…maybe I shouldn't have said anything…" He stared at the ground beneath him, face growing redder and redder each moment that passed. After a while, he shifted his weight on each leg, swaying back and forth anxiously.

The brunette just stared at him, the fear evident on his face. Kidoumaru glanced at him and rubbed at his arm a little nervously again, taking a few steps back. "You don't…have to come to my house if you're scared of me… You…You don't even have to…er…love me anymore…" He took a deep breath, rubbing at his warm cheeks a little. "Just…uh…just as long as I know you did love me at one point is good enough…"

Kiba shook his head a little, trying to wrap his head around that word–elementary. He looked up at Kidoumaru, his eyes crinkling at the bottoms, in near disgust. "You…you were attracted to me in elementary school? You wanted to be with me in elementary school??"

"No! That's what I was afraid you thought!" His lips split into a sheepish grin. "That's not how it was at all. I just wanted to be your friend…but I couldn't express myself. Every time I tried to talk to you I'd get tongue-tied and anxious and run away before even approaching you. That's how I was with everyone, so for the longest time that's all I thought of it…but then I hit puberty and started getting dreams, and I realized that couldn't have just been it…so… Well, I officially realized I wanted you in eighth grade, so it wasn't too far off when I said high school… But before then, I always had a soft spot for you… See what I'm saying? I mean…surely it was the same for you with Sakon…r…right? You guys had been friends for years and all…" He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the man in front of him nervously, hoping he'd relax and be okay with it.

Kiba also shoved his hands in his pockets, nodding his head a little. "Yeah…that's…that's how it was with Sakon, too…" He finally looked back at Kidoumaru. "I understand, now. It's alright, I'm not upset or anything anymore. I just…needed that cleared up. So…where do you live now?"

"Come on. I'll take you there."

–––––––––––––––––––––

Kiba walked in the door as Kidoumaru closed the door behind him and locked it, despite the fact that the town was nearly devoid of day-to-day crime, being the size it was and where it was located. The house was fairly empty, just like Shino's, but Kiba had a feeling it wasn't because he didn't have anything to fill it with like with the other man. The way some things out in the hall were pushed away from the wall made it seem more like Kidoumaru did it to keep the number of crevices for spiders to hide in as low as possible, in case they escaped or something. He stepped down the hall, into the living room directly in front of him. There were rows and rows of those glass cases along the wall, all sitting neatly on a shelf, above the couch. His jaw dropped, staring at the size of some of them and the sheer amount on the shelves. There were come cases that were tiny and some that looked like aquariums. He turned his head to see a few scorpions on the other wall.

He stuttered, pointing at them. "S-Scorpions??"

Kidoumaru nodded, looking at them proudly and putting his hands on his hips as he walked over beside him. "Yep. Scorpions are also in the class Arachnida. I don't like them much; spiders have always been my favorite, but scorpions are in the same class, so it's like they're cousins or something, don't you think?"

"Got any daddy longlegs?"

Kidoumaru smiled to himself, putting his hand over his forehead and looking down a little, as if he was embarrassed to be explaining anything to him or sounding like a smartass. Or maybe it was that childish name for them… Kiba was just like he was back when he was a kid; it was like he'd never changed at all. "Which kind? There's the order Opiliones and the family Pholcidae in the order Araneae that are referred to as daddy longlegs…"

Kiba walked over to one, where there was a spider with really long, spindly legs walking around nearly-moist earth, a little bit of water in one corner. The arachnid was almost a complete oval, save for the mouth. He pointed to it. "This one. The one that looks like a tripod-thing from the show Johnny Quest."

Kidoumaru walked over toward him, smiling at his way of describing it. "Opiliones. Yeah. You find those walking around the drain pipes of houses. Those are actually called harvestmen. Pholcidae are referred to as cellar spiders since they hang out in cellars and in places like caves. So…try to call them either harvestmen or cellar spiders in the future so I know what you're talking about."

"…What's the difference?"

Kidoumaru pointed to that one Kiba had pointed to. "A harvestman's body is an oval. The two body segments are nearly all connected, so it looks like an oval. In the family Pholcidae, the body segments look more separated, like two actual segments as opposed to one." He pointed to another that was yellow and mildly see-through a few cases down. The legs were the same, but, just like he'd said, it was very obvious there were two separate body segments. It looked like a peanut with legs or something. "See the difference now?"

Kiba nodded his head, and Kidoumaru grabbed the grey one from the order Opiliones, the tripod-looking one. He opened the case, letting it crawl onto his finger, and placed it on Kiba's shoulder. Kiba stared at it, letting it go so far as to crawl all the way to the tip of his nose before he finally frowned, staring at Kidoumaru. "So…what was the point of this?"

Kidoumaru laughed and picked up the spider again, placing it back in its case and depositing it back on the shelf. "You didn't freak out."

"Of course not. Daddy longlegs can't bite hard enough to pierce human skin." He crossed his arms over his chest, eyes turning to one of the glass cases on the opposite wall that looked completely empty, despite the fact it was filled with thin blades of grass suspended in soil. He pointed at it. "What's that?"

The expert followed his finger, turning to look at the glass case, and smiled. "Oh! Yeah. You probably wouldn't see anything in that. That one contains two deer ticks. I know it's dangerous and that they can carry Lyme disease, but they are in the same class as spiders and scorpions, so I had to add one to my collection. The same goes with mites, though I don't collect them."

"Why not?"

Kidoumaru laughed, nudging Kiba a little, playfully. "You serious? Some mites attach onto the legs of bees. They're too small to just collect, and most are parasitic or depend on other organisms to survive. They can't just live in a glass case. Even the ticks I'm starting give up on. I have to replace them constantly because they need another organism to continue living for a great extended period of time. Why do you think I had to start getting two at once? If one dies, I have a chance that the other will survive a bit longer to delay needing to get a new one."

"Where did you get all of these bugs, though?"

"…They aren't bugs, Kiba. They are arachnids. Please stop confusing the two. It's getting tiring have to explain it to you every time I speak with you about them… But, about that…" He scratched his head, frowning a bit. "It's hard to keep most of these as pets. The ones that make better pets are tarantulas and scorpions. I usually buy those from stores, unless they're rare. Like the Black Emperor Scorpions. I had to order those online. The first was dead in the mail, so I had to order a new one. Then I ordered another one and they get along pretty well. Did you know they are actually social creatures? They live together as if in little communities in the wild." He laughed. "But yeah, it depends on the species, really. Most of these I found around outside while hiking and stuff, except for the ones that don't live around here or are able to be bought in a store. The ones I order online are carefully ordered during seasons they work best in. For instance, Phoneutria nigriventer–" He pointed to one case at the very end of the row, directly beside Kiba. "–I ordered during the summer because it's used to a tropical climate and wouldn't do well in cold. It's the newest addition. I keep it lower on the shelf so I can keep an eye on it. It's really neat. When angered, its jaws actually turn red."

Kiba turned to look at it, and nearly screamed out loud at not only the size of its legs and scarlet red jaws, but also the way it was trying to find a way out of its case. He shuddered violently. "Wh-WH-WHY!? Wh-Why do you have to keep an eye on it?? Because it might get out!?"

"Because it's the most poisonous spider in the world, idiot. That's the Brazilian Wandering Spider. Haven't you heard the stories? It sneaks over here in banana crates. I keep all the poisonous ones within eye range so I can keep an eye on them and make sure if they get out or not so I know not to leave a door open for them to escape outside, and especially so I know not to put my shoes on, get into bed or use the bathroom without checking first if they do happen to escape from their cages." Kidoumaru smiled and shrugged his shoulders like there was nothing wrong with having deadly creatures–which, by the way he made it sound, had already escaped on more than one occasion–in his house.

Kiba took about five steps back, bumping into a large aquarium sitting on the floor near the television and screaming out loud at the sensation on the back of his leg. Kidoumaru pulled him out of the way and steadied the case, frowning a little. He paled when he inspecting it.

"Ah shit…she got out."

"What got out!?"

"Dorothy… I don't know how, but she did… She can be pretty reckless, though… She's the one most notorious for escaping, aside from Mary Tyler Moore…one of my scorpions…" He smiled fondly. "But Dorothy was always my favorite. I've had her for three years… I've experimented on her, too. Once I stopped feeding her for the longest time. I got two months and she didn't even die; she only became much less active and stored it all away. Tarantulas are pretty hardy creatures. They make better pets than anything else, in my opinion."

Kiba nodded his head, turning toward the giant spider that looked smart and angry enough to actually knock its cage over and escape–the really poisonous one. He smiled weakly, going pale. "Uh…I don't…I don't feel comfortable in this room…"

Kidoumaru turned to him, his amusement replaced by disappointment. "You don't want to watch a movie or anything? I've got a pretty good collection…"

Kiba forced himself to relax a little bit, shrugging his shoulders. "Um…alright…uh…where are they…?"

Kidoumaru nodded his head toward a bookshelf by the television. "Right there. Just look through it. I can recommend some if you want…"

"That's alright. I'll see if I see anything I like first…"

With that said, he turned to the bookshelf, surprised to see quite a few anthologies on insects and arachnids and different kinds of arthropods–crustaceans, too!?–on the first two shelves. He smiled a little, snickering. Sure…arachnids weren't insects. They weren't bugs…so why did he have an interest in bugs anyway? His eyes fell to the shelf with movies on them. Quite a few were VHS tapes, but there were many DVD's as well–some even copies of the VHS tapes. Godzilla movies, Gamera movies, Mothra movies–he resisted the urge to ask if these were Kidoumaru's favorite in the Japanese monster genre; he knew what the answer would be–, King Kong movies, one named Tarantula he remembered pretty vividly as a child, Them!—he knew that one was about giant ants mutated by radiation, much like most of the giant creature films of that era–, Reptilicus…and so many more that seemed to revolve around giant creatures on a rampage. Mimic? That movie was about mutated ro…r-roa…bugs killing people and growing to be the size of full-grown humans. He'd watched it before…but did it seriously have two sequels? The Black Scorpion? Didn't that one have cowboys in it?

A few caught his eye as having potential to enjoy with Kidoumaru, though:

Bug, Kingdom of the Spiders, Arachnophobia, Mosquito, Ticks and Squirm.

He looked at all of them, and Kidoumaru stared at him for the longest time. Finally, the man reached over and grabbed the one called Squirm. He smiled at Kiba, going to the television and popping it into the DVD player. "Let's watch this one. It's probably one of my favorite B-rated movies aside from Ticks. But a dog dies in Ticks, and you probably wouldn't like that, would you?"

Kiba shook his head, and Kidoumaru nodded his head. "I didn't think so. Go sit on the couch. You want some popcorn or something?"

He looked back at Kiba as he shook his head and Kidoumaru nodded again. He started it up and sat back, Kiba staring at the screen for the longest time. "…What is it about?"

"Killer worms."

"…W-Worms? Why worms?" He already had a feeling this movie wouldn't help him forget at all.

"Because it just is. You don't question the thought behind the writer of a bad movie like this. You just go along with it, Kiba. Sheesh. Now watch. The acting's terrible, they use spaghetti for the swarms of worms, and did I mention it makes fun of hicks?"

Kiba forced a smile, trying his hardest to keep his mind from wandering. Kidoumaru had leaned over quite far, putting an arm around his shoulder. He turned a bit red, slightly disgusted by this act of affection. Sure, he liked being close to someone as much as the next person…but watching a movie with Kidoumaru's arm around his shoulder made him feel too much like a girl. And it wasn't like with Shino, either. Shino hadn't intentionally grabbed him by the shoulders and leaned all over him… Wait, why the hell was he thinking about Shino at a time like this? Because of what he'd told him an hour ago? Why couldn't he just focus on the person next to him, even if he didn't care about him as much as the person miles away?

His eyes adjusted to the screen, where a total gorilla man was looking through a truck full of empty boxes. He pointed at the screen. "Wait, who's that?"

"Roger, the worm farmer's son. His mother died recently, and he's got a thing for Geri, the redhead. He helps out his Dad at the farm and is pretty much an asshole. Not to mention he has the dashing good looks of a typical inbred redneck. In other words–he looks and acts exactly like a butt."

Kiba's insides twisted and he stood. "Um…can…can we not watch this?"

Kimimaro stared at him, his face falling. "Why not? Is it really that bad? I have better ones…"

"No, it's not bad or anything…it's just…" He fought for words, knowing full well if he explained it to Kidoumaru the man would figure out he wasn't in love with him at all. "…N-Nevermind…just…why did he have to be a worm-farmer's son with a dead mother? And have deep brown hair? And be incredibly tall??" He sat down, back into Kidoumaru's arms and stared at the screen, not even watching it.

"If there's something wrong with Roger, it's alright. He turns into worm food at the end. They crawl under his skin and burrow into his brain. And then he comes back and gets pushed into a giant pile of worms that devour his entire body. It's wonderful. I clap every time I watch it."

Kiba stood up, putting a hand to his head and biting his lip. "Just…Just shut up! I just…damn it, Kidoumaru. I really…just came over here to forget about everything back home, not to have it slammed right into my face by a really bad movie! This is a fucking joke someone is pulling on me!!" He tugged at his hair and Kidoumaru stood, immediately going and turning off the video. He watched Kiba very closely before he turned off the television and grabbed his hand.

"Come on. Let me show you my room. We can find something to do in there."

–––––––––––––––––––––

The bedroom, much like the hallway, had all of the furniture pushed away from the walls a little bit. Kiba stared at all of the boxes and cabinets piled up, all of them labeled differently. He glanced at Kidoumaru, frowning a little. "You have two televisions? Why is the better television in here rather than in the living room?"

Kidoumaru smiled, pointing to the some five video game consoles he had sitting on a shelf the television was set on top of. "It's my gaming television of course. Currently I'm trying to beat Gears of War for the fourth time, since none of the games released this year were enough to capture my interest for longer than the first level. I have a few melee games if you want to play… I have Clash of Ninja…"

Kiba stared at all of it, frowning a little. "Er…you like video games?"

He nodded his head fervently, going over and turning on the Wii. "Hell yeah, I do. What? Do I just look like the book-type of nerd?"

He smiled sheepishly in response, nodding his head. "…Yeah. You sort of do. Video games were more of a thing Sakon and Ukon did a lot… I'm surprised. You really would've gotten along with them. Why don't you get along with Ukon still?"

"Because I'm arrogant, that's why. I look down on him and he looks down on me. It's that simple."

Kiba frowned a little, going and standing next to him. "I wish…you two got along… Could you try to get along with him…for me?" He stared at the ground the whole time, wearing that same pitiful expression he'd been wearing before they got back to the house and during that movie. Kidoumaru watched him for a split second before he reached over and grabbed his hand bringing it toward him and holding it against his cheek.

"Tell me."

Kiba looked up at him, avoiding his eyes and staring at his nose instead. He shook his head, biting his lip, and Kidoumaru glared.

"If you loved me, you'd tell me why you're so upset."

Kiba's insides churned, and his bottom lip started to tremble. A lump caught in his throat, and he forced the words out as best as he could, his voice shaking, almost a whisper. "I…just… I…" He looked back down, that lump locking his jaw in place, keeping him from saying anything.

Kidoumaru grabbed his chin, forcing him to turn his head toward him, though it couldn't force the other man to stare him in the eye. They met for a split second before Kiba's lower lids crinkled up and he looked away, his entire body starting to tremble. Kidoumaru let go of his hand and the brunette immediately brought it to his chest instinctively. He waved his hand at him. "Just…go sit on the bed. I'll sleep on the couch, or something."

Kiba didn't budge, and the man just clenched his fist, his voice shaking with anger. "You get upset from something back at your place; you search me out; when you finally have me all to yourself to talk like you wanted…" He threw his hands up in the air, leaning toward him, eyes glowering. "You don't even want to do that!! I don't read minds, Kiba! You either tell me what's wrong or you keep it inside and suffer!"

"…help me…"

Kiba's voice was so quiet and full of pain, it caught the man off-guard. All of his anger left him in a flourish and it felt like a punch to the chest. He watched as the man he'd looked up to for so long as being bright and energetic and strong and optimistic crumbled right in front of him, all of the insecurities and doubt he'd always imagined existed in Kiba but never surfaced blooming right before his very eyes like some kind of abysmal flower. His face fell instantly, and he reached over, just barely grazing the other man's skin, only to watch him flinch as if he was injured.

He turned around, rubbing his head and turning off the game console. This…wasn't what he expected Kiba to ever become at a low point. He glanced back at him over his shoulder for a quick moment before he looked back at the floor. He took a deep breath, his chest heavy.

"I…I don't know how, Kiba… Just…I've never seen you like this, ever… You weren't even like this when I walked by and spotted you in the church crying like a baby over your mother… I always thought you weren't as strong as you appeared…but I didn't think you were this fragile…"

Kiba just shook in response, and everything fell into place.

Kidoumaru finally turned to him, testing out this state. He stared at him for the longest time, appraising his body language, until he grabbed his arms and threw them to the man's side. They instantly retracted back to his chest, and Kidoumaru finally reached over, pulling him in a tight hug. The man he was hugging went completely limp, and his heart sank.

He dragged him over to the bed, laying Kiba down there, and stood, leaving the room. For the longest time he just stood in the living room, staring at all of his spiders, scorpions, the deer ticks. He frowned, looking over at the movie selection, staring at them. Something definitely triggered this. He hadn't been the same since; he'd been upset when he ran into him at the bar…but this was a whole new level of upset.

What set him off? What was the trigger? There had to be something…

He picked up his copy of Squirm, staring at it, mind traveling back to that moment in time, going through it step-by-step until it finally hit him.

Roger.

It was definitely something to do with Roger. But what?

The only thing he could think of was the fact that Roger's mother had died recently. Just like Kiba's. He went cold as those words hit him. A worm farmer's son with a dead mother…who had deep brown hair…and was very tall. There was only one man he knew Kiba had any sort of relationship with that matched that description–deep brown hair and being really tall–and that was the same man he'd spoken with around lunch, the same man that called him a pest.

Damn it. He knew Kiba loved that guy…

He walked back into the room and sat down on the bed, watching Kiba sob into his hands pathetically.

He was weak.

He was vulnerable.

It was disgusting, quite frankly. He had absolutely no desire to try and comfort him; and even if he did, he had no idea how he'd go about doing that. He put a hand on Kiba's arm, voice rigid.

"…Do you know why I love you, Kiba?"

Kiba paused for a brief moment, only to shake his head.

"It's because you had everything I didn't. You had charisma; you had compassion for everyone you came in contact with; you cared deeply for your friends and family; you were talkative; you had friends, talent, a charming personality; you had an older sister, and…you had parents. I wanted that. I looked up to you for having all of those things… I wanted to be your friend because of that. I wanted to be with you because of that."

"…you…" Kiba finally sat up, staring at him and trying to keep the tears from falling again. "You did have parents…"

"I did until I was born. Then my mother decided she didn't want me, so I went to the people who lived behind you. …That's why I was at ends with them a year ago before you left. Because they decided to wait until they got sick of me living at their house before they told me." He crossed his arms over his chest. "You know what you do to hide your insecurities? You close yourself up. You know what I do?"

He waited until Kiba took a hint and shook his head. "…what?"

"I lie. You know my father? He's not the one who died. He's not the one that was understanding when he found out I was gay. He's just the one that kicked me out of the house in disgust because he couldn't deal with me, my mother's death, or the fact that I was gay. You think you had it so bad with your father…" He laughed, looking up at the ceiling. "When I came out of the closet, your dad walked right up to me and shook my hand. He said I had more guts than you for coming right out and saying it. He respected me and my life-style, Kiba. He didn't kick you out of the house because you were gay, he did it because you were leeching off their resources. What I wouldn't give to have gotten that treatment from my own father, biological or otherwise. That's why that fucker Sakon liked your Dad so much and left town after he died. He couldn't stand being in this town; they already hated him enough because he was a complete crackhead and was starting to look for even heavier drugs. Even though he barely spoke to me other than the occasional 'fuck off', I gathered that much from him. You really have no right to complain about your problems."

Kiba stared at him, his face changing into concern rather than a reflection of how much he'd been breaking up inside before. "…I'm so sorry Kidoumaru…I had no idea…"

Kidoumaru narrowed his eyes. "I'm not crying like a pussy over my mother, nor am I crying like a pussy over my father, or my biological parents, or even over the fact that if Sakon hadn't been around, I probably would've had a chance with you."

Kiba frowned. "…But you do have a chance with me. I'm here with you now…"

"No you're not." He shook his head, looking away bitterly. "You're back home, back wherever Roach is, back reliving whatever the hell it is that he said to you or did that set you off and made you run off. And it doesn't matter if you wind up living here for the next week or so, because in the end, that's still where you'll be. Back with him."

When Kiba made a soft squeak as his breathing slowed to a stop, Kidoumaru looked back at him. He didn't even need to ask if he was right: it was obvious he was by the way Kiba was staring off into space, his face falling, his eyes crinkling at the bottoms. He finally looked down, staring at his feet resting in front of him.

"that's…that's why i need your help, kidoumaru… i'm tired of being there… the more I stay, the more…" He closed his eyes and shook his head. After a short moment, he took three deep breaths and looked back at Kidoumaru, his eyes determined, his face set.

"Fuck me."

The man was caught off-guard once again and he had to process those words for the longest time. At first, he'd mistaken it for a Sakon-ism and assumed he'd told him to go fuck himself…but this wasn't Sakon–this was Kiba. Kiba wanted him to fuck him. To help him forget. He winced a little.

"…Not like this, Kiba. You'll regret it."

"I'll regret it if I let you talk me out of it. So do it. Fuck me. Do you prefer being on the receiving end? I'll top if it comes to that."

Kidoumaru's lips pursed together, and he looked down at the ground for the longest time. "It's…not like I can just fuck you right on the spot like this. I'm not in the mood… I just witnessed you crumble right in front of me and–"

Kiba grabbed for him, knocking him on the chest so he fell backwards onto the bed, and undid the button of his jeans, unzipped his pants. Kidoumaru gasped a little, completely unsure how to handle a sudden change like this. Where the hell had all of this strength come from? The brunette yanked the pants down as best as he could. Then, he grabbed the other man's cock and rubbed his finger against the tip in a circle.

Kidoumaru instantly hardened and Kiba removed his hand, leaning back into the pillow and growling lowly. "There. You're in the mood. Fuck my brains out." Kidoumaru sat up, his breathing quickening. He paused for a split second, and that single second caused the brunette to reach over and fist his shirt, their eyes locking.

"Now," he demanded.

Kidoumaru didn't have to hear it twice, and he pushed Kiba back into the pillow, grabbing the open, button-down t-shirt he'd pulled over a wife-beater and yanking it off. He reached his hands up the wife-beater, his fingers dancing over Kiba's abs as the brunette let out a moan. He pulled the shirt up farther, leaning down and teasing a nipple with his tongue. Kiba moaned a little louder, hands grabbing for something to hold onto on the shirt Kidoumaru was still wearing uselessly.

As Kidoumaru continued licking down the length of his body, Kiba's hands went up, fisting his shaggy black hair. He undid the button of Kiba's jeans, unzipped the zipper and yanked his pants off. There was a tent in his boxers, and as Kidoumaru pulled those off, Kiba fisted his hair tighter and let out a sigh at the sensation of fabric against flesh.

He stared at the manhood in front of him for the second time ever, and fought the urge to smile. There he was–back again with Kiba, the situation the same except without alcohol involved. His eyes eyed that leg, desperately wanting a piece of that first. He leaned down, kissing Kiba's inner thigh, toward his knee. Kiba hummed a little at the situation, and Kidoumaru looked back up at him. His eyes were closed, and he looked desperate–it was so sexy. He bent down again and licked up Kiba's inner thigh again, and Kiba's grip on his hair clenched and unclenched in response, biting his lip and whining a little bit.

He kissed up his thigh some more, Kiba whining all the while, desperately wanting him to take him in his mouth or something, and finally he licked up to the base of the penis. The brunette shuddered, his legs trembling desperately. Kidoumaru grinned, licking up his shaft and hearing Kiba groan.

He circled the tip of the penis with his tongue, and Kiba gasped. He finally took him in his mouth, and wound up nearly choking as Kiba shoved his face down farther and faster than he'd intended–the brunette was never one to wait. He coughed, lifting his head up a bit and glaring up at the man. His eyes were closed and he was biting his lip–there was no way he was even thinking about him at the moment; Kidoumaru knew it.

He pushed that thought to the back of his mind and let it fester as he sucked lightly, earning another moan from the brunette. He moved his head up and down slowly, keeping an eye on Kiba's face as he did so. After a while he sped up, making sure to graze his tongue against the tip as he did. Kiba's breathing turned into breathy pants, and his fingers scratched against his head desperately.

When he could feel the brunette's self-control slipping, coming to a climax, he grazed his teeth against him lightly, slipping his finger into his entrance. Kiba came in his mouth, letting out a strangled moan, and Kidoumaru choked a little. He spit it out all over him and coughed, sitting up finally. Kiba looked down at himself in disgust, finally looking up at him, eyes open. "Ever heard of swallowing?"

He wiped whatever was left on his face off, clearing his throat a little, trying to find his center to properly answer that question. "Uh…well…I have no lube…so…we're going to have to improvise."

Kiba's jaw dropped in horror, and Kidoumaru stared at him, puzzled. "What? It's not that bad…"

Kiba swore, backing into the pillow, eyes wide with terror. "Oh my God! Oh my God, what the fuck is that!?"

Something dropped off Kidoumaru's head, landing directly on Kiba's stomach. Kiba screeched, staring at the big, red-orange creature hissing and going crazy on his belly. It was bright red-orange and very big, with an iridescent green-blue on the underside of its legs. On its back were grooves of brown, and it looked pissed off.

Kidoumaru's face brightened. "Oh! That's where you were, Dorothy! What's the matter, girl?? You jealous!?" He reached for the creature, but it skittered away from him and sunk its fangs into the brunette's side. Kiba howled, knocking her off of him and shouting loudly.

The tarantula landed in the doorway, and the second it hit the ground it dashed off down the hall, toward the bathroom. Kidoumaru swore, running after it. "Shit! Where the hell do you think you're going!? Get back in your cage!"

The second he left, Kiba took a look at his side, wincing at the circular bite mark that looked puffy. He took a deep breath, sighing and tossing his head back into the pillow. At least tarantulas weren't poisonous to humans. He wiped his hand over his face, his lips pressing into a tight line. Everything had been going great; it was incredible, but now he felt so guilty he could die.

He scratched at his belly, surprised it was itchy. He looked down at it, staring at the beginnings of a rash. Hell. What was he going to tell Hana if she saw that? The bite alone was enough to tell her exactly where he'd been all night…

He bit his lip, covering his head with his hands, groaning. He wasn't even in the mood anymore, and he didn't think there was anything that could get him back in the mood, unless Kidoumaru offered to put some ointment on his belly and give him a massage first.

He heard banging in the other room, sharp thuds that echoed and reverberated off the walls. At one point, Kidoumaru shouted, "Ah shit! Get back here, Doro– shit!" Thud! "Ah, Kramer! Don't you use that to your advantage! Stay back in your cage unless you want me shoving you in with Isaac!"

After much bouncing and bumping and curses and banging on the walls, Kidoumaru finally walked back in, pulling at his shirt a little. He'd yanked his pants up to avoid tripping as he dashed after Dorothy, but now he was starting to take them off again. Kiba watched him for a moment, then rolled over toward the window.

"…S…Sorry about that. Dorothy's…sort of like one of those psycho ex-girlfriends you see in movies…"

Kiba bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. "…Or like Karin…"

"Hmmm? Who's that?"

"Some woman from work. She used to date Shino, but then she broke up with him. She still calls him, acting like he's completely in love with her when they can barely stand to be in the same room… She's as psychotic as they come…"

Kidoumaru opened his mouth to ask something, but then he closed it. …Shino was…straight? He could've sworn by the look in his eyes he harbored feelings for Kiba… Huh… That was so weird… Maybe he'd read the signs wrong? Those eyes were definitely clear in their meaning, though. It was obvious he had to have…

"What is she? Dorothy?"

His face brightened. "Oh, Dorothy! Yes. Well, she's probably the most special of all of my tarantulas. She's called an Usambara. It's still debatable as to whether her kind is a completely different species or simply a colour hybrid of a pre-existing species in the Usambara region in Kenya. Interesting, huh?"

"…Are they…are all of…her kind…that pissy?"

"Pretty much. They're pretty aggressive, much like the Brazilian Wandering Spider. I'm thinking about breeding them together to see what happens… Of course, they might wind up killing each other first…but the Brazilian Wandering Spider has been known to mate with tarantulas in the wild…so it might work… Hmmm…"

Kiba finally turned around to him, taking his wife-beater off. He frowned. "I'm getting a rash…"

Kidoumaru looked at it, rubbing the back of his head. "Ah…yeah. It's from the hair on her body. She's practically bald, though, since she's so old…but yeah. It's a defense mechanism."

Kiba's eyes glowered. "Or a fucking weapon in her case…"

"Come on now, Kiba. She was probably just jealous I was giving you more attention than her. That's why she gets out of her cage."

He glared, crossing his arms over his chest. "Then you can fuck her instead, can't you?"

He frowned, going over and sitting down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. "Don't get pissy, Kiba. Let's just continue where we left off… I managed to gather them all up and put them back in their cages, so we won't have another of those interruptions."

"Hell no. Your spider just attacked me and I'm having an itch and a bite mark that if my sister sees she'll surely know I was with you tonight."

"…You ashamed? Or is it really your sister you don't want seeing this? It's not…say…Shino, is it? It's a rash, Kiba. Aside from that spider bite, there's no way of telling it was me. You could have rolled around in poison ivy or something. None of the people at your house are experts on rashes; they wouldn't know."

He groaned, scratching his belly pathetically. "But it itches, Kidoumaru! I can't focus on anything right now!"

The man rolled his eyes, leaning down and placing his lips against the brunette's neck. He kissed down it, finally down to the collarbone, completely ignoring the scar since he'd seen it before. Kiba started to melt again, and he finally placed a hand on his inner thigh, stroking it with his thumb as he nipped his nipple lightly. Kiba gasped, and Kidoumaru went back to his mouth, pressing for entrance.

When Kiba allowed it, he slid his tongue into his mouth, wrestling with the other man's tongue for a moment, probing deep in every corner of his mouth. Kiba moaned, and he pulled back.

Seeing that the sperm he'd spit out earlier was useless, he gathered up some spit in his mouth and just spit it out onto his hand. He looked at Kiba's closed eyes, looking over his expression. He sighed, sliding his finger's in Kiba's hole. The man fisted the sheets, moaning out the first name all night.

"Sh-Shino…"

Kidoumaru stopped, removing his hand and groaning angrily. He'd known that was the case all along, but he couldn't go along with it if Kiba were to mention that fuck ever ten seconds. He stood, and Kiba opened his eyes finally. "Wh…What? You know already, right?"

His fist shook, and it took a lot of effort on his part to keep himself from slamming his fist onto Kiba's kneecap. "Get out."

"What? But you knew already and were already–"

"You never say his name, though, Kiba! Get the fuck out of here! I'm this close to using violence against you!"

Kiba immediately stood, pulling his pants on and grabbing his shirt and undershirt off the ground. "I'm…I'm sorry, Kidoumaru…"

"Just…" He took a deep breath, putting his hands to his head and finally finding himself close to tears. "Just get the hell out. You never loved me, ever, and it was stupid of me to hope you ever would. So just leave."

Kiba took a step out of the hallway, his expression softening. "But…I…I did. Last year I did…but when I asked if you wanted to communicate long-distance, you told me it was just experimentation and I got over you… I did love you, Kidoumaru…but…I just don't…anymore…"

The man went silent and turned to the television, turning on his X-Box 360. "…You know where the front door is. Use it. I'm sorry you're unhappy. I really am, but I can do nothing to help you."

The brunette knit his brows together, his lips pulling into a tight line on his face. A bead of sweat rolled down his temple, and he nodded. "You're right. But, still…we…could have had a chance if you had–"

"You still would've moved to the city and met Shino."

Kiba nodded his head again and left, shutting the door behind him. As he walked down the street to find his way to Kimimaro's house, he took a deep breath and finally found it in him to smile. Well…it wasn't the perfect way for things to go down…but at least this was out of the way. His face fell, and he sighed.

Only now that he'd had all of that cleared up, he was forced to remember what Shino had said to him. He hadn't forgotten anything at all, and it was practically killing him. If Kimimaro failed him, he would have to resort to Deidara and Sasori. …And if they failed him…that just left the one person he'd hoped to avoid ever since he heard he was back in time.

He shuddered involuntarily, not even noticing the bastard in question pass him and knock on Kidoumaru's door some four houses down.

––––––––––––––––––––

Kiba walked over, very tired, to the back door of Kimimaro's house. He remembered there had been a way through the fence into the backyard years ago, but his mother must've gotten someone to fix it. This time he had to jump the fence and hope no one noticed. Not that it mattered–his mother was probably asleep anyway.

As he stared up at the house, he couldn't help but remember that Sakon and Ukon were usually with him when he was staring up at that second-story window. The rest of the guys were usually at their regular spot, or, if feeling particularly daring, waiting out on the street in their cars for the four to get through the fence and hope into the cars to leave.

He smiled fondly, staring up at that window–the light was still on; Kimimaro was still awake. He grabbed a rock off the ground and chunked it at the window. Almost instantly, Kimimaro appeared at the window, staring at him with that same look on his face he always used to wear way back then–he had been expecting him.

The pale-haired man opened the window and motioned for him to stay there. He left the window, and a few moments later the back door opened up quietly. Kiba immediately went to it, and Kimimaro yanked him inside.

He had a big grin on his face–he was enjoying remembering all of those midnight pranks as much as he was. They traipsed up the stairs silently, sneaking past his mother's room–she was snoring even worse than she used to–and finally closed the door behind them when they got into his room.

Kiba immediately went to the bed, falling into it–Kimimaro's bed was always the most comfortable thing in the world, simply because his mother spoiled him so much. He looked up at the man, whispering.

"Sorry. I just…needed some place to stay for the night…"

Kimimaro nodded his head, stretching idly and yawning. "I was about to sleep, but I had just finished talking to Sakon. His memories are still shot to hell. When he learned my name and how we all met and a little bit about the rest of the people connected to us, he kept insisting I was Kidoumaru. I finally pointed him in the direction of Kidoumaru's house and told him to figure out the difference for himself. He's been given more slack on that leash Ukon's kept him on."

"What do you mean?"

"He was allowed a beer today. Ukon's really strict with him, considering the fact that he's on so much shit to keep the withdrawal symptoms from doing as much damage as they could be doing. Before he knew it, after the bar he found himself at my back door, having no idea why he wanted to come here, who I was, or how he got here. I think he's relying on instinct."

"…So…" He went silent, before he finally rolled over and sat up, hugging onto one of Kimimaro's pillows tiredly. "…I was just over at Kidoumaru's house."

"I figured you were. I ran into Kidoumaru earlier today–or yesterday, actually–and he was really pissed off because Shino put him in his place. Or something like that. He said something about Roach knocking him down a few pegs."

"How?"

"He refused to say anything. He was pretty pissed I talked to Juugo about him. I don't know… We get along to a degree…but I still hate the ground he walks on." Kimimaro finally looked over at Kiba, taking a spot next to him on the bed. He curled up, his arms wrapping around his knees, his face turning to rest on his knees and look at Kiba at the same time. "…Ukon's not talking to me recently. I have a feeling it's because he's thinking up a way for him to get Sakon around you without you finding out about it. You should avoid the places Ukon frequents from here on out, including the hospital and the bar…"

Kiba shook his head. "You know he doesn't frequent the bar, Kim. That's bullshit."

His friend smiled lightly, chuckling. "I thought it was worth a try…"

Silence settled between them, until finally Kimimaro cleared his throat. "…It must be nice…"

Kiba turned to him. "Hmmm?"

"…Having what you have. You have a sister, you have someone you love, you have someone who loves you, you have friends back in the city, you have friends here, you have a niece or nephew on the way… Must be nice."

Kiba smiled. "You have friends here. And surely you have someone you love. Come on. You're thirty now. There must be some girl you're after…"

His friend shook his head. "My only friend I still keep in contact with is Ukon, and that's only when I'm in the hospital… The girl I was after moved away after high school so I don't really want her anymore… There was one girl at the hospital, but she's got her sights set on Ukon…so I don't really want her… Face it, Kiba, you've got a far more stunning life than me."

"Come on, Kim. You can't mean that. I mean…just look at how many people you've touched."

His friend stared at the carpet, shrugging his shoulders. "You. My mother. Juugo. …Well, with Juugo there that makes a new record, at least."

"Add Sakon in there, too. You obviously touched him or he wouldn't have wandered all the way over here. And does it really matter how stunning your life is? Isn't it good knowing you touched at least one person's life? Isn't that enough?"

"…No. I wish I could do more. But I can't, because I'm sick all the time. I can't even take an easy job like standing at the counter and selling stamps and receiving packages and putting them in the back without tiring out. When I was a kid I had every opportunity to do that and I passed it all by. And then high school rolled around and I developed this weird case of anemia and…well…you see where I am. I still haven't moved out of my mother's house… I wasn't even able to go to the community college forty minutes away in the next town over."

"Online universities. You can do those, surely."

"…Online…" He went silent for a moment, his cheeks slowly turning bright red. "…I can't believe I never thought of that… I sure would've–"

"At the time, online colleges were unheard of. Now it's possible. You can do it now. People do it all the time. Just go to an online college and do whatever you like. See what you're best suited for."

His friend smiled. "…What I like… I really like writing. I've got an idea in my head for a children's story…" He turned and looked at Kiba, that smile never leaving his face, as if he'd led him in the direction he wanted him to go in the entire time.

"You're lucky you live in the city. There's more opportunity there."

Kiba rolled his eyes, groaning and falling backwards onto the bed again. "That's an urban legend. There's not more opportunity there at all. It's all a matter of who comes out luckiest. Besides, if you lived in the city the fumes would kill you before you lasted a week… The city is highly overrated. I like it better here."

"In the end…you're going to go back to the city and leave me, Kiba. Just remember that."

"I am not," he growled, looking away bitterly. "There's nothing there for me."

"There's Shino, and he needs you." He smiled, scooting a little closer. "He needs you twice as much as I do, and with Sakon back, there's nothing I want more for you than to return to the city…" He bit his lip, taking Kiba's hand and nodding his head. "Trust me, Kiba. You will go back to the city willingly by the end of all of this."

Kiba threw his hand away from him, standing and walking away from the bed. "Why do you always have to say things like that? Why do you have to touch me when you say those things, too? Kim, I really need to know. Are you feelings for me more than friendly? Are you gay?? Because you certainly act like it!"

His friend stared at him blankly, his expression never changing. "Does it matter?"

"Yes. It does. If you harbor feelings for me, I'd really like to know. It matters a lot."

"…Then no. I don't."

"You can't just say that."

"Say what?"

Kiba threw his hands in the air in his direction. "'Then no'! It sounds like you just lied!"

Kimimaro stood, holding his hand out passively. "Kiba, you're being too loud. You're going to wake up my mother. Just calm down. How many times do I have to say it? I'm not gay; I'm not attracted to you. I just…" He rubbed the back of his head, chuckling lightly. "I'm just over-affectionate because of how my mother raised me is all. Don't you remember the reason why all of you pushed me in the pond? I came right out and gave Sakon a hug."

Kiba nodded. "Yeah. I remember. You barely knew us, so it sort of caught him off guard. I suggested pushing you in the pond to teach you a lesson and they both agreed. So…the next day I invited you out back… They waited for my signal, and I fell back on it on the last second when I realized you weren't doing it to make fun of him or anything. I touched your shoulder to get your attention again and they both took that as a 'yes' and pushed you in the pond. I wound up jumping in and pulling you out." He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. I guess I forgot. You never acted affectionate when Sakon was around."

"Of course I didn't. Both of them nearly killed me for being overly-affectionate. But you don't care, so I act like I want around you." His cheeks tinged pink, and he nodded his head. "Of course…I guess I do like you more than a normal person should. You're like the sibling I never had. That's probably why I feel like I can act like myself around you and not Ukon…" He frowned. "Your mother was the same way to me… She was the same way to all of us. We could act more like ourselves around her than we could around our own parents… That's why all the guys liked you so much, Kiba. You have your mother in you, and you light up any room you walk in."

Kiba smiled. "Hana said the same thing to me when we first got down here…"

"Yeah…Hana would say something like that. To be honest, I always preferred your sister over your mother, though, unlike Ukon. She seemed a lot more nurturing to me than Tsume. Your mother was nurturing…but not in the same way as Hana. I remember I tripped and fell at one of your birthdays–the first birthday of yours I went to–, and the first person who came and helped bandage my knee up was Hana. Your mother just stood by and watched her do it. I think she liked seeing Hana act motherly…"

"Yeah…I noticed it, too… My mother often asked Hana to help her out when all of you guys came over. I remember one time Ukon ran head-first into a wall and my mother asked Hana to go tend to him." He laughed. "That's just like Ukon, too… And that one time him and Sakon got into a fight over who would go down into the basement first and wound up tumbling over each other down the stairs."

Kimimaro grinned. "You walked in wondering what happened and the second you saw them down there, you freaked out and ran down to see if they were alright…"

Kiba laughed again. "Yeah! And I wound up tripping on my shoelace and tumbling down after them…"

They settled into silence again, and both of them fell backwards onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Kiba lay there, counting all of the grooves in the ceiling made by the spackling effect they'd put there. Kimimaro was busy counting the beams and judging which ones were a lighter shade than the others.

Finally, Kimimaro turned and looked at him. "Why are you here, anyway? I figured you'd be here eventually since Kidoumaru seemed so upset after he went to visit you and gave you a bouquet or something…but…why exactly are you here?"

Kiba's insides twisted, and he looked down at himself, feeling sticky and sweaty and all kinds of gross. He still hadn't washed himself off after Kidoumaru had spit his own semen out all over his lap. "I…tried to get Kidoumaru to sleep with me. Did you know he lived behind me when we were all younger?"

"…Y…Yes, actually. He was who I was looking at when you tapped me on the shoulder before the twins pushed me in the pond. I saw him watching us. I figured he liked you since we were all kids. That's why I don't trust him… He's just too…weird. Something never sat right with him, to me…"

"…Well…I never washed off after he gave me a blowjob and spit it out all over me…"

Kimimaro gave him a disgusted look and went to the door. He opened it, going and grabbing a towel from the hall closet. When he came back into the room, he tossed it on him, shaking his head. "That's disgusting. There's an unopened box with soap in it underneath the sink. Use that. You can use my shampoo but not my conditioner."

Kiba nodded, standing and walking to the bathroom. He was glad Kimimaro's mother slept like a rock. He often wondered why he never got the courage to actually throw a party at Kimimaro's house just to see if she'd sleep through it. Something told him she could've slept through an earthquake.

–––––––––––––––––––

Kimimaro was reading a book when Kiba walked in, a towel wrapped around his waist. His cheeks were bright red, and he looked like he'd just killed someone–slightly shocked and slightly scared. "Um…c…could I borrow a pair of boxers? I left in such a hurry that I forgot mine at Kidoumaru's house…"

His friend rolled his eyes, pointing at a dresser. "There. Third drawer down."

Kiba nodded, grabbed the boxers and left the room to go get dressed. When he came back, he was drying off his hair with a hand towel. He went to the bed and sat down, lying back happily. "It's almost like a sleepover."

"Girls have sleepovers. Boys spend the night."

"You know what I mean." He sat up, staring at the book Kimimaro had in his hands. "What are you reading? Great Postal Workers of the 20th Century?"

The pale-haired man looked back at him and fought a laugh, shaking his head. "No time for jokes, Kiba. I'm reading a medical diagnostic handbook. My mother told me her grandfather had the same thing I had the other day. He got tired easily and healed really fast… I'm trying to look up and see if there's a genetic condition or something the doctors have just been over-looking…"

Kiba stood and walked over, looking at the swirl of words on the page, unable to comprehend any of it. He frowned. "About that weird case of anemia… Shouldn't you be getting some sleep right now?"

Kimimaro shot him a teasing look. "I can't sleep with you around. What if I have one of those sex dreams about you and you hear?" Kiba shoved his shoulder and his friend chuckled, closing the book and putting it back on his desk. He yawned and got out of his chair, making his way to the bed.

"Actually…I just wanted to know why you decided to come here and spend the night. That's why I'm still awake. Shino said something again…" He looked back at him over his shoulder. "Or is it because you found the tape on the dresser?"

Kiba blinked. "The…the what?"

"It's not important. I'll tell you about it later. Just tell me why you're here. It's obvious you wanted to see if you loved Kidoumaru more than Shino since you tried to sleep with him. So…do you know now?"

Kiba bit his lip anxiously, kicking his feet on the ground. "I already knew I wanted Shino when I went to Kidoumaru. Just…now I feel guilty for trying to forget… And…for cheating."

"You're not cheating if you weren't involved with him to begin with, Kiba."

"It just…feels like I cheated, though…" He went and sat on the bed, and Kimimaro took a spot next to him. He sighed, picking at the fabric in the quilt on the bed, his cheeks reddening.

"…He said he needs me up there. He said…he often questioned his existence…and that if I wasn't there with him…he was afraid he'd start to question it again…" He put his face in his hands and groaned. "I just… Well, when he says things like that…it makes it that much harder for me to love him and stay his friend. For him to say he needs me–considering my feelings for him–is like taunting me. It's like he's teasing me, even if he doesn't mean to. As if instead of saying all of that…he said, 'I know how close you want to get to me, and so I want you to get as close as you possibly can without ever reaching as much as you want.' It's so…" He sighed, curling up in the fetal position.

"It hurts so much."

Kimimaro placed a hand on his back and pulled him into a hug. "Do you want to know my opinion of Shino?"

"What is your opinion of Shino?"

"I think Shino is a closet case."

Kiba shot up immediately, nearly knocking his friend square in the chin, and stared at him in shock. "But he's not. He's been with so many women and…and if he were a closet case he would've realized it by now. He's thirty, damn it!"

"I'm just giving you my opinion. But…you know how often I can be wrong. He may very well be straight. I just…get vibes from him. Don't you?"

"No. At least, not enough for me to actually say he's a closet case with conviction…"

His friend smiled, patting him lightly on the back. "That's because you allow your emotions to cloud your judgment. You immediately think, 'Oh, he didn't mean that because he's straight and will never like me back'. Instead, you need to actually listen to him and think about what he says, study his reaction. I'm sure if you did that you'd agree with me."

"I'll be sure to do that… Now what's this about a tape?"

Kimimaro stared at him for the longest time before he shrugged his shoulders. "I'm sorry I never brought it up before… I just…thought you must've found it by now. On your dresser is a CD labeled 'one', right?"

Kiba nodded his head. "Yeah. I saw it while I was unpacking the first day we got in…but I didn't think anything of it. I just figured it was something I'd left behind after I moved out…"

"Your mother put it there. I know because she asked me and Ukon to help her… She never told us what it was, but she said it was something that would help you move on. I…I'm not supposed to tell you anything other than that. I swore to her I'd let you figure it out yourself, but…since you didn't think anything of it, I'm sure I can tell you that much."

His chest tightened and he opened the window, looking out at the ground beneath him. "…She left me another message? …I…I have to get home." He turned and looked at Kimimaro, smiling. "Thank you, Kim. I hope one day you'll see just how stunning your life really is…" He crawled out the window, onto the roof, and jumped.

Kimimaro ran to the window, swearing a blue streak, only to see the brunette dashing to the fence and jumping it.

He smiled. "I'm pretty sure I've seen this in an anime somewhere…"

–––––––––––––––––––

His adrenaline was pumping, and he ran as fast as he could home. By the time he'd reached the house, he was just about ready to collapse into a heap in on the patio. His breathing came out in raspy breaths, and he was having difficulty breathing. He'd managed to turn a forty minute route from Kimimaro's house into ten, jumping over fences and crossing streets. It was about four in the morning, and he was dead tired.

But he wasn't done yet. He had to keep going.

His legs just about gave out as he struggled with the knob. He turned it, stepped in before his legs went weak at staying still for so long, and walked in the door. He slammed the door behind him in his haste and completely forgot the others were probably sleeping. He gasped, dropping to the ground, when he reached his bedroom. He crawled to the dresser and swept it over with his eyes, surprised to see nothing there. Shino had pulled him in and knocked everything off. Maybe he'd shoved it back into that box of CD's he had thinking it belonged in there.

He grabbed the box, tossing them out in a flourish. Nothing. He threw out everything from under his bed, sure it must've fallen down there when Shino had knocked everything over. Nothing, still.

He went pale and took a few minutes to catch his breath. He couldn't take too long or sleep would catch up with him and he'd hit the ground unconscious before he even knew it. From the bathroom came a flush, and he turned his head to stare at it. He stood, surprised.

The light was on, blaring underneath the crack at the bottom of the door. A few seconds letter, there was another flush. Seconds later, again. Seconds later, a fourth.

He narrowed his eyes, calming himself down enough and standing up, and walked to the door to the bathroom. He put his ear to the door, surprised to hear the faucet running. The stream of water from the faucet was interrupted by whoever put their hands underneath it to wash them. A few seconds later it happened again, and again, and again. Six times it happened, and finally the faucet turned off.

Kiba backed away from the door as it opened. Shino was standing there, rubbing his hair anxiously and muttering to himself. He didn't even seem to notice Kiba standing there, and he flicked the light switch off.

The second it went off, he flipped it on again. Kiba waited a moment, until Shino repeated the process six times. He finally spoke.

"Sh-Shino…what the hell are you doing? The light's off the first time, buddy."

Shino turned and looked at him, biting his lip and wincing slightly. He groaned, flipping the light switch off and then on again. "…It's not…right… Just…just ignore me…" He turned his head away and stared at the switch as he did it one more time.

Kiba stared at him in shock. "Sh-Shino. I can't just ignore this! You're even more of a mess than Juugo was this morning!"

Shino pushed past Kiba and went to the guest bedroom, looking absolutely distressed over the whole thing. He didn't say a word, and Kiba began to worry instinctively. Something was seriously wrong with him, ever since he'd come out and told him his feelings. What the hell was wrong with him? The door shut behind Shino, and as Kiba looked at the light underneath the door; he saw it flicker.

Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On.

Off. And it stayed off that time.

Something twisted around in the pit of his stomach, and he found himself having a hard time breathing. Shino had turned that light on and off eight times before he finally stopped. The toilet, four, the sink, six, and the light, eight. What the… He knew Shino was a neat freak, but he hadn't acted like that at all before.

He hadn't acted like this at all the entire time he'd known him. It was because he'd just ran off and left, wasn't it?

He went to the door, knocking on it lightly. When Shino didn't respond, he turned the knob. It was locked, and he rested his head against the door. He bit his lip, feeling as guilty as ever.

"I'm…I'm sorry I ran off like that, buddy… If I did something to upset you…uh…I'm…I'm really sorry. Please let me help… Is there anything I can do?"

There was no reply on the other side of the door, and he sighed and went back to his room, collapsing in his bed. As worried about Shino as he was, he was asleep before his head even reached the pillow.

Over in the other room, Shino stared up at the ceiling, wearing that same distressed look on his face. He'd never felt the compulsion to do what he'd just done. Not once… He put a hand to his forehead and resisted the urge to smash his own head in. The fan directly above his head was off center. He stood up and centered it so that two blades were on each side from the center where he was looking up at it–a multiplication sign instead of an addition sign. He sat back down on the bed and stared at it, finding something calming about that image now. It was all in order, all right.

Symmetry, even numbers, this weird…obsession with order. He knew he was a bit of a neat freak obsessed with order to begin with, but he'd never had it this bad before.

'Throw that question into the mix, Shino: Why did you suddenly sprout this weird obsession?'

He groaned, muttering the answer to his own question. "Because I can't be open with Kiba about my feelings anymore. Great. Just…just great. Now I'm even more of a neurotic son of a bitch than I was before."