Chapter Twenty-Six

Diaz was waiting for them on the dirt frontage road. Ready to take Marco back to the Pine Barrens safe house. Steph had been unusually quiet. Like knowing that Marco wasn't the complete asshole they thought he was had somehow changed him in her eyes. That had always impressed him about Steph. She could hold a grudge with the best of them. But underneath it, she was more interested in a person's heart than their past. Had an almost sixth sense instinct for the good in people. Ranger was usually pretty good at that too. But it was hard when it came to Marco. Too much bad blood had passed between them.

He left Steph in the Mercedes and waited for Marco to angle out. His brother gave him the pissy attitude and held out his wrists. A sarcastic offer to be cuffed again. Ranger suppressed the Steph-like urge to roll his eyes. Cut a glance toward the Escalade in a go on gesture. Marco tried to hide the smirk and took up a slow walk. "So how long do I have to hang out with the dude our cousin dumped?"

"Long as it takes to neutralize Fenetti."

"Great. You know, I don't blame Carmen for divorcing his ass. Dude is boring as fuck."

"You always were eloquent."

"Know what his biggest mistake was?"

"Being boring as fuck?"

"No. It was that when she started pulling away he let her."

Ranger kept moving forward. But he saw it out of the side of his eye when his brother looked at him. Took a minute. And then shook his head and faced forward again. "You are such an asshole."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, that's so. You strut around with your cocky Zen bullshit and your holier than thou attitude and just expect things to always go your way. That girl is right. She does deserve better than you."

"I assume you mean Stephanie."

"Why, is there another girl you're messing around with?" Marco watched him again when he didn't answer. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You're not the only dude she's messing around with, though, are you? She's got some other guy who's giving her rings. Probly wants to settle her down in a nice little house with a white picket fence. Have two point five kids and a dog. A minivan. Things you couldn't ever give her."

"I know what you're doing."

"Oh good, because I was starting to question your intelligence."

"What I'm trying to figure out is why you suddenly care. What's in it for you?"

"Aside from getting to tell your self-righteous ass I told you so? Nothin'. But the thing is. I know a thing or two about trying to make up for the past. It's like pouring sand in a sieve. No matter how much you dump in it just keeps runnin' out over and over again."

"Your point?"

"Jesus, Carlos. When the fuck did you get so cynical?"

"Around the time you were calling me princess and letting your friends beat me down even after I'd been jumped in. Or maybe it was when we jacked that car and you ran off and let me take the heat."

"Shoulda run faster."

"I shoulda ratted you out."

"Why didn't you?" Ranger finally looked at his brother. Saw it when understanding inspired a grin. "Shit. It was the same reason you came after me to Miami. Wasn't it."

"Don't make it sound like I was doing you a favor."

"Oh I won't. I'm smart enough to know it probly had more to do with Mom and Celia anyway. No way I ever given you a reason to want to help me."

"I help you because you're my brother. Family looks after family."

That shut Marco up. At least for a moment. Long enough to get them to the Escalade. Ranger opened the back door to encourage Marco to get in. Marco stood there. His eyes on their ex cousin-in-law where he still sat behind the wheel. Just out of earshot. "We're fucked up in a very large way, aren't we."

"Little bit."

A dry half smile. Colored by regret. "I know you joined the Army because of me."

"I joined the Army because it was what I was good at."

"Bullshit. You didn't drop outta college because it was hard. You never quit a hard thing in your life. You left because if you stayed one more day you were gonna kill me."

That wasn't inaccurate.

Marco shook his head. "You're still a dumbass."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Because that girl is in love with you. Only an asshole keeps someone that incredible in limbo like that. For what. Karma? Please. Karma don't put someone like that in your path if you're just supposed to watch from the sidelines while she settles for a life that's not her."

"You don't even know her."

"I know enough. Hell, I knew long before I laid eyes on her that she was good for you. Her name started floating around the family about the time you stopped putting up all those walls. Started coming home for real insteada showing up and keeping distant. And for some moronic reason, she says she's not yours."

"It's really not your business."

"Maybe not. But I still know an asshole when I see one."

Marco climbed into the Escalade and Ranger shut the door.

Stood there hands on hips as he watched it drive away.

ooo

Steph

The car was quiet on the drive back to the Batcave. Ranger in his zone. I didn't want to disturb that. Ranger had a lot on his mind. Unfortunately, knowing that didn't stop the curious itch. After a minute, I caught the twitch at the corner of his mouth. "I can smell the smoke from here, Babe."

"I was just thinking."

"Should I call the fire department?"

"Ha ha." That earned me a smile. "I don't get it. Why didn't Marco say something about knowing Dolohov when we first brought him up? What he did was a good thing. Why would he want to keep that a secret?"

"Every choice we make in life comes with a consequence. It's the nature of the universe. We don't always know what the ramifications might be down the road. Could be he'd just realized that saving thirty teenage girls eight years ago is the reason Lupita Ortiz is dead."

"Jeez. I hadn't thought of that. He can't blame himself for that."

"He can. That wasn't the only choice he made that contributed to that outcome. And he wasn't the only one making choices. Loopy made her choices too. But that doesn't stop the doubt. The idea that if he'd done things different. Lived a better life. She might have never been in danger."

"I have a feeling we're not just talking about Marco anymore."

Ranger got quiet again. Pulled the Mercedes into the Batcave's garage and sat there a moment while the door shut, leaving us in the dark. The silence contemplative. "Past and present and future are all linked together, Steph. One big tangled chain of cause and effect. You pull a thread here and there. Tweak the course. But it's all still one. You can't change the past. And you can't predict the future. All you can do is control as much of the present as you can and pray you don't screw things up."

"Wow. That's pretty deep."

"It's the core of existentialism."

"And that's why you don't dwell on the past or live for the future."

"That's the goal. Can't say I always succeed."

"Why not?"

I saw it through the darkness when Ranger turned to look at me. His face in shadow. Gulp.

"Because of me?"

"Yes. Because of you. You're a variable I can't ever seem to predict with absolute accuracy. You're chaos."

"That's flattering."

"That's truth. And I actually love that about you most of the time. But it does make it hard to keep a sharp focus on the present."

"Why's that?"

"Because there are times when I look at the tangled chain and wonder if there were other outcomes I missed because of a single choice or a twist of fate."

"Like what?"

"Well, if you want an example. How about what would have happened if that pregnancy test you took would have come up positive?"

Holy crap! "We agreed that that never happened."

"No. You insisted that it never happened. We didn't agree on anything."

"You were just as relieved as I was." I waited for him to acknowledge that is some way, but all he did was keep staring at me. "Right?"

Nothing. No response at all. Jeez. Was it getting nauseous in here, or was it just me? "You never said anything."

"What was I supposed to say?"

"I don't know, something."

"Didn't really get a chance. You moved out without a word."

"What about after?"

"You mean after you'd pulled away and put up barriers between us again? You'd gone deep denial. Hard to justify disrupting that when you seemed so happy with it. But I did make it clear that I never stopped wanting you. Invited you to come home with me every chance I got."

"Which would have been temporary."

"Stephanie. I have never once kicked you out of my bed. You're the one who always does the leaving."

I had to think about that for a second. Omigod. He was right. Whether it was because I was terrified of giving into the temptation or because temptation eventually led to even more complicated things, I was in fact the one who always called it. Even the time Ranger had lived with me in my apartment. I'd been the one to evict him. He hadn't wanted to go. Said we had unfinished business. And we did. Lots of it. But he'd ended up going anyway. Because I'd asked him to. It had never once been the other way around. "Do you really think about sharing your closet?"

"Sometimes."

"And what about the seriously considering marrying me part?"

"Less frequent. You are a pain in the ass."

"But it's in there somewhere?"

"Very deep down and long way off. But yes."

Jeez. "So where does that leave us?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure. This is uncharted territory for me. And there's still the little problem of you being engaged to Morelli."

"I gave him the ring back."

"When?"

"When I went up to my apartment to collect my things. He was waiting for me and we got in a huge fight. And I tossed him his ring before I left."

"Could be temporary."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"You're at a crossroads."

I was. And that was scaring the hell out of me. On the one hand, Morelli was a good man. He was warm. And safe. And Ranger really really wasn't. For a long time, Ranger had been out of my relationship comfort zone. Made worse by the fact that he'd never really offered any kind of relationship. And now…

My phone chirped in my pocket.

"You shouldn't answer that. It's not a secure line."

"It's my mom's house. I have to answer it."

"Let her leave a message. If it's important you can return the call from one of the burners in the office."

I knew he was right. Didn't make me feel any better when I swiped the call to voicemail. It felt like ages before the message came through. I played it and pressed the phone to my ear. Crap. "My sister's in labor."