Code Total Drama
Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama or Code Lyoko.
Chapter 25
The destination Roberto had in mind was actually half an hour away from the city. Most of the contestants were not happy for several reasons. One reason would be that they were unhappy with Duncan for obvious reasons since this was his fault they were coming out here in the first place. Even Gwen was giving Duncan the cold shoulder.
Another reason for their unhappiness was most of them hated long trips. The majority of the group weren't really fans of nature, people like Heather, Lindsay, Justin, and Noah preferred the concrete jungle to the real one since Noah spent most of his time with books and technology while Heather, Lindsay, and Justin almost couldn't go a day without their beauty products or just a mirror in Justin's case while others like DJ, Beth, Bridgette, and Gwen were okay with the forests. Katie and Sadie were afraid that they would get lost in the forest like they did on Total Drama Island. Some other concerns were if it was going to rain like did the last time they went camping.
Another concern for people like the ones injured from World Tour. Sierra had finally been to stand up and walk again but the doctor recommended that she not push herself. They also gave her a hair transplant so she wouldn't look bald anymore. Her haircut was now more boyish and it was dyed purple like before.
Heather was able to walk again too but was warned not to push her body too much since the skin had only healed enough for her to walk. Chef was driving the bus with Chris relaxing in the front seat on the left side while Roberto was napping on the front right seat. However Alejandro would still be trapped in the Drama Machine for a while longer. Despite this he was still part of the trip.
The bus was followed by Kurt's car since both Kurt and Carlos were coming along to keep an eye on Chris and Roberto. None of them trusted Chris and Roberto to play nice all the way out here. As they followed the bus Carlos was looking at some documents Kurt got for him.
Xxx
Flashback
"Kurt, I need you to do me a favour." Carlos said. "I want you to call Roberto's last assigned prison before he signed on as chief."
"What for?"
"Well, I thought back to when you told the contestants about Roberto resigned from the prison he was at to come work as security chief at the studio. I've got a suspicious feeling about it and I want to look on it before we leave."
"On it...hey, this looks interesting."
End Flashback
Xxx
"So wait, you're telling me Roberto was fired?" Carlos asked.
"Yep, he accidently let prisoners out of their cells, they try to get out, they get caught, they tell the warden, and Roberto gets canned for being incompetent." Kurt explained.
"Man, I wish I had pictures of it..."
"And since then he's been banned from working at any prison in Canada. And since they know of him here he wouldn't been able to take those three to whatever Correctional Facility they have here because they know of how badly he screwed up."
"So that's why he's going through all the trouble for a trip."
Xxx
Gwen looked outside of the bus window watching all of the scenery pass by. It was amazing that after all this time she and the others were able to keep Lyoko and the fighting they do there a secret. Aelita made them promise not to reveal the secret to anyone and they kept that promise. They understood she didn't want anyone else getting involved the battle to save her friends and the world.
One row behind on the other side of bus, Geoff smiled to see that his girlfriend had fallen asleep on his shoulder. They had been through some rough patches but he had every intention of keeping their relationship perfect. He decided it would be a good idea to take a nap and leaned his head against Bridgette's and fell asleep. One row behind them, on the other side of the bus DJ smiled at how happy they looked.
The bus soon came to a stop on a wide open expanse of land. Chris stepped out and watched as the campers came out.
"Welcome! To the Total Drama Special, Total. Drama. Survival!" Chris announced. "For two days we will be alone in the wilderness, away from civilization. No phones, no iPods, no technology what so ever unless we have a real emergency. The first order of business is that the teams build themselves a shelter."
Carlos sighed, slapping himself in the face. "You can always count on my cousin to think of the most overdone challenges. Chris, there's not exactly a lot of ways to acquire fire wood legally there. The pine trees flown in from Canada are part of a nature preserve along with most of the animals. You'd only find rich people hunting or building there, and the French are still paranoid about it. In the file my boss back at SAS showed me, it was supposedly a precaution to an eventual shortage of food supplies. The world begins to run low, France has a nice cozy stash tucked away in its back pocket that they build up on over decades and decades. And bingo, a monopoly on global food supply."
"Ah crap, how the hell am I gonna make a challenge out of this then?" Chris asked.
"Well since I knew you're retarded, I decided to think ahead." Carlos stood up. "Okay people, since the Human Mop forgot we can't chop up trees to make shelters or hunt animals for food, I've taken the liberty of making it more...fun. As you know this is a field trip, as Chris has specifically stated, being coincidentally in the same location as Roberto's destination, so both groups will participate together. First, set up a camp with the Army Issue camping supplies I've packed, and then get ready for a full day and night of games. And by games I mean actual ones. We've got a break from the cameras people, so I say cut loose!"
"CARLOS!" Roberto snarled.
Carlos groaned. "Yes Cave Man?"
"Have you forgotten the real reason we're here?"
"I don't remember and nor do I care." Carlos lied about the first part. "And if you think of taking Duncan, Geoff and Bridgette away from the rest of the group for some hellish night alone in the woods, I swear this time you won't be able to grow your hair back when I'm through with you."
Kurt leaned over to Roberto and whispered. "Take his advice, we all know he can do it." He smirked. "By the way, I looked up your files. Try not to let anyone...slip by."
"Anyways, I've got a few games in order." Carlos continued. "Just some basic stuff. Capture the Flag, some soccer, foot ball, and I hear the water is nice this time of year. As long as nobody tosses their trash around you can go swimming."
"So that's why that was listed." Noah looked at one of the copied lists Carlos had given everybody, recommending that they pack everything listed. "Number seven, swim wear."
"Hey! We're still Total Drama Carlos, so I still get a chance to make these challenges interesting!" Chris said.
"So long as you don't damage this place Chris, I hate to think about what the Director will say if she hears about you damaging France's most top secret Federal Nature Preserve filled with rather valuable specimens of trees, plants, and animals." Carlos said. "So if you even think about causing property damage here, just remember it won't be my head on the line after the director calls us, presuming she is in a good mood after a chat with the French Government. You're not on the top list of people she likes, so don't get yourself any lower than you already are."
Chris gulped.
"Oh, and we'll beat you too." Kurt added.
Double gulp.
Xxx
Somewhere in the digital universe something stirred. In a volcano filled realm, XANA stood over a crater that was full of towers.
'Finding a way around Aelita's protection will take too long. The only power she's used for it is deactivate my towers. If she finds out she can do more it is possible she can turn the tide of our battle.'
XANA closed his eyes and began to search for Aelita's protectors through the cameras at the studio. When realizing they weren't there he took the recordings and looked over them to find out where they had gone.
'They're in the mountains. Aelita's alone, I could try and capture her but she's most likely put up several safety precautions. I shall concentrate on her bodyguards.'
Xxx
"Okay, campers. Since killjoy here ruined my fun." Chris jerked his thumb at Carlos who gave him the finger in return. "Now since there's no eliminations today because this is a special we'll make it interesting. Whoever wins today will gain an advantage in the next episode."
"A set of earplugs so no one can hear you?" Noah asked.
Several of the campers laughed.
"Ha, ha, ha." Chris laughed sarcastically. "And no. It'll be an old fashioned sack race!"
"You have racing sacks?" Lindsay asked excited.
"No. You put your legs in the sacks and race with them. Hopping and if you lose your sack, you're out." Chris said.
Chef brought out a pile of sacks.
"Two members from each team will race and the winning team will gain an advantage in the next challenge." Chris said.
Chef tossed two sacks at all three teams. All three circled in a huddle.
"All right, who should go?" Heather asked.
"Leave it to me." Eva said.
She grabbed one of the sacks and put her legs into it, only for everyone to hear a ripping sound. They looked down and saw that Eva's feet had gone right through the sack.
"Oh great! Nice one!" Courtney crossed her arms, glaring at Eva.
"Chris! Can we have another sack?" Beth called.
"Sorry. No extras." Chris replied, smiling.
"Why not? You saw what happened!" Heather shouted.
"Don't care."
Team Amazon glared as Chris walked off.
"Now we only have one." Katie said.
"So who goes?" asked Beth.
"Let Cody go! He'll win easily!" Sierra raised Cody's arm.
"No way! He's way too slow!" Courtney said.
Gwen snatched up the sack.
"I'll go. Listening to this will only waste time and cause us headaches."
Gwen walked up to the starting line up where she met Trent, Bridgette, Noah, and Duncan.
"Hey, Gwen." Trent smiled at her.
"What happened?" Bridgette asked, noticing that Gwen was the only from her team with them.
"Eva ripped her sack when she put it on." Gwen explained.
"Ouch. On your own now, huh, Pasty?" Duncan asked smirking.
"I can handle it." Gwen replied nonchalantly.
"Relax, Gwen I'm sure you'll win." Trent said.
"What makes you say that?"
"With you how can your team lose?"
Gwen blushed at Trent's praise. Duncan had a small scowl on his face.
Xxx
Confessional
"Is it me or is Elvis attempting to charm Gwen when she's already in a relationship. The dude had his chance and he blew it." Duncan said.
End Confessional
Xxx
"You do realize that we're trying to win? Helping the other teams kind of defeats the purpose." Bridgette said.
"I know, but there's no reason not to be nice." Trent shrugged. "And we aren't playing in a challenge, it's just a fun game, you heard everything they said, right?"
"Can you hit on goth girl when we're done?" Noah asked.
Duncan scowled while Trent had a surprised look on his face while Gwen looked away.
"And on your marks . . . Get Set . . . GO!"
They took off, hopping up and down while making sure the sacks did not fall off. Duncan pushed Trent which caused him to collide with Bridgette. They both fell and tumbled over the ground.
"Sorry!" Duncan hollered back smiling.
Gwen glared at him for that as she caught up. She then got an idea. She managed to make it beside Duncan as they neared the finish line.
"Nice one."
"Thanks."
"Too bad it won't work."
"Why not?"
Gwen slammed herself into him with enough force that knocked him over to the side.
"That's why!" Gwen called back as she and Noah made it over the finish line.
"Nice one." Noah said, dropping his sack.
"Thanks."
"Well, that was amusing to watch." Chris said.
Bridgette, Trent, and Duncan walked up covered in dirt.
"Hey, you two okay?" Gwen asked.
"Yeah, we're fine." Bridgette said.
"I told you you'd win." Trent said, smiling.
"Hey, she only won because I gave her the idea. And what about me? Not going to ask if I'm fine?" Duncan said crossed his arms.
"You going to cry?" Gwen asked.
"No."
"Then you're fine." Gwen smiled before turning to walk back to her team.
"Your girl knows you well." Noah said.
"Shut up."
"Impressive effort but Gwen made it over the finish line first so Team Amazon wins the first part of special challenge." Chris said.
"As usual." Cody gave Gwen a high five. "We're on a roll!"
"Let's save the celebrating for when we actually win a challenge that gets somebody on the other teams kicked off." Eva said.
"Downer," Cody grumbled.
"For our next challenge, we shall be moving to some nearby caves." Chris said, and continued to explain as he lead them through the trees. "Now, each cave is connected and has an easily accessible entrance-"
"Let me guess, the challenge is called the 'Chris Cave'?" Kurt rolled his eyes.
"Hardy-har-har, Kurt, anyways...in the network of tunnels lies three keys. One blue for Team I am so unbelievably hot, one red for Amazon, and yellow for Wanna-be Victory." Chris said. "One person from each team must go into these tunnels and find these keys, and then bring them back out. They will be used to unlock these three boxes." Carlos and Kurt set down three boxes with the team logos on them. "Well what do you know, the human mop made a good challenge for once," Eva commented.
"Uh...actually we designed the challenge." Kurt said as he and Carlos held up one hand each.
"Oh...never mind then."
"Choose your trackers!" Chris exclaimed.
Team Chris ended up choosing Izzy, who was the most trustworthy and available player. Justin would spend more time worrying about trying to find a mirror, Alejandro couldn't move while stuck in the Drama Bot; and Duncan and Noah were unable to compete now.
Team Amazon chose Heather after a match of Rock-Paper-Scissors. She was advised not to rush or push herself to her limits, lest she risk being put in a wheel chair again.
Team Victory chose Geoff, who had eagerly volunteered to go and search the caves.
The three competitors chose a tunnel entrance and waited for Chris to begin the challenge.
"And..." Chris paused as his cell phone rang. "Sorry ,gotta take this." He pulled it out. "Hello? Yeah, I'm kinda in the middle of something."
"Do we go now?" Geoff asked.
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on no!" Chris shook his head. "Oh come on its a simple thing to do, get it over with!"
"Does that mean we go?" Izzy asked.
"No! No!" Chris said. "Will you guys wait! Sheesh! Just hurry it up!" He shouted the last part into his phone.
"Ok, we go!" Izzy hopped up and down and ran inside, followed by Geoff and Heather.
"Hey where are you going? I didn't explain the traps in there...ah well, a lot more fun to find out the hard way." Chris shrugged.
"Chris..." Carlos cracked his knuckles.
"What? They didn't wait! I was on the phone! You can't wail on me because they didn't wait!"
"You. Set up. Traps?" Kurt said through clenched teeth.
"Of course I did! Look at the script!" Chris held up a script. "It says here in big red letters that I set up traps! It was approved by the executive board."
"WE'RE THE EXECUTIVE BOARD YOU DUMB ASS!" The Producers shouted.
"Uh...yeah, you were too busy dumping Roberto in hair remover again, so I told them you were kind of busy, so they started without you."
"You sent Heather in there in her condition? Do you realize what she could do if she gets injured again!" Carlos shook his smaller cousin by the arms.
"Oh relax, I've seen her walk away from worse than what I set up!"
"What did you set up you human mop head?" Kurt demanded.
"Uh...you might want to look at the monitors." Chris pointed to several monitors hooked up to the bus. "Kind of hard for me to remember what I put in there."
"You didn't put squat in there, I did all the work!" Chef growled...before Carlos gripped his neck and actually, somehow held the man off of the ground by an inch.
"Chef, we know I hate you and we know I have always looked for an excuse to pummel you. But if you tell me what the Human Mop told you to set up in there, I might just let you walk away with your testicles mostly intact!" Carlos said darkly.
"Whoa now calm down Brit!" Chef said. "Let's just say...it's shocking if your Izzy, it's...going to leave a rather bad rash if he gets the worst of it. And Heather..." Chef hesitated. "Well...If she triggers the wrong trap, she'll get discovered in so much crud she'll disgust the crap out of crap. Some of that stuff ain't from any animal I've seen or heard of."
"...I hate you both so much that I cannot even put into words how stupid you both are." Carlos deadpanned.
Xxx
Izzy crouched down while sniffing the ground like a track dog. She crawled through the cave on her hands and knees while sniffing. Picking up a scent she growled and started barking before taking off. She came onto a large take that had a key surrounded by eels.
"Oh! A challenge! Izzy's going to have fun!"
Xxx
Geoff walked through the cave with his usual smile on. He continued walking until he came upon a room. Inside a key rested on a pedestal right in the center of the room.
"Sweet!"
But karma was not on his side as he stepped on a switch.
"Uh oh."
Green gas spewed into the room.
"AH!"
Xxx
Heather grunted as she came into the room where the key was. It was suspended in the air by a single wire.
"Finally."
She walked up and grabbed it but it when she pulled the wire done a pipe that dumped something on her. Whatever it was it made her scream louder than ever had before.
"AH!"
Xxx
Back outside everyone heard the scream.
"I guess Heather set off her trap." Chris chuckled.
"Great. She'd better not be terribly injured." Carlos cracked his knuckles.
"I MADE IT!"
Everyone looked to see Izzy running out the cave with eels wrapped around her arms. Her hair was standing up and pointing in all directions while the eels shocked her every few seconds.
"Well, it seems Team Chris is super duper hot is the winner." Chris smiled.
Izzy jumped up and down every time the eels shocked her. She had a big smile on her face as she ran to the box. She unlocked the box and pulled out . . . a Chris McLean poster.
"Now they'll this poster as a reminder of their victory." Chris laughed.
Team C groaned in disappointment at their prize.
"What do you all have to say?" Chris asked.
"You suck!"
"This bites!"
"I'LL KILL YOU!"
Ignorant of their displeasure, Chris continued. "And now for our third challenge. We shall be hiking up the mountain to a reserved cabin-"
"Which belongs to me by the way, as a little thank you to my team for not telling the public about this place." Carlos cut him off. "Speaking of, the fact that we were here must not leave this group or I'll lose that cabin, and it is REALLY nice. Its full of food, and has all of the accommodations the average lazy person wants." He grinned. "So everybody get anything you need for mountain climbing and get ready to follow my mop head of a cousin up there!"
"Oh great, a nature walk." Noah sighed.
"I'm not too excited to be letting you all crowd into my expensive cabin, but do you hear my whining?" Carlos asked.
"You were just whining about it ten minutes ago." Kurt interjected.
"...yeah...but they never heard that." Carlos replied.
"Oh don't worry, I recorded it." Kurt held up a remote to the portable TVs. "Rewind and..play!"
The screen showed Carlos.
He groaned. "Oh man! It's bad enough that we have to be here but now Chris is bringing them to my cabin! Melissa will kill me if they ruin the drapes there! And my dad's old antiques are stored there, those things are worth a lot and if they break I have to pay for them!" He paused. "And oh dear god...my old SAS equipment is there still! Oh man if they get their hands on that and get drunk somebody could quite seriously be hurt, even killed!"
"Uh...they let you keep British military grade weaponry after you resigned?" Kurt asked.
"Uh...yeah, they uh...let me keep it, it's just a rifle and some pistols." Carlos chuckled. "And my uniform...and armour...and ammo...and knife...and maybe a grenade or two."
"Carlos ,are you really resigned or are you just on an extended vacation?" Kurt asked suspiciously as he stepped into the shot.
"...Okay, don't tell anybody this but-"
The video ended.
"Sorry, transmission cut off there." Kurt said, pocketing the remote.
"How could you do this to me?" Carlos asked.
"Do you remember that deal we had? The one simple deal about not bringing any explosives to the party?" Kurt asked.
"Uh..."
"Because I remember bright lights ,explosions, screaming, and a guy running around with his pants on fire," Kurt continued. "And because I know that you have a thing for explosives and fire I assumed you'd go back on our deal after consuming a large amount of alcohol."
"I said there 'may' be a grenade or two! May be!" Carlos said defensively.
"Mhm, and look what happened." Kurt said. "We were banned for life from that bar. The only good memory I have of that night was of that bar tender smashing the bottle of vodka over your head while you were singing 'take me out to the ball game' while standing on the table without a shirt."
"Hey, the bar tender's assistant thought I take good care of myself." Carlos pointed out.
"Yeah...so just tell me straight up, did you bring any grenades and hide them in your cabin where you bring your three children every summer? And just remember ,if you say 'maybe' instead of 'yes' or 'no, I will confiscate all the beer...well I'll do it if you say 'yes' also but...you know."
"Kurt, I will be honest with you...I do not remember so I am going to just go on ahead and remove any dangerous objects from the reach of the campers." Carlos said.
"Right...Chef, get rid of the beer."
Before chef could reach for the cooler, Carlos had his arm twisted behind his back and slammed him into the bus.
"So you do have explosives on you!" Kurt said.
"What makes you say that?"
"Because of how you're reacting to Chef getting rid of the beer."
"dude, what guy doesn't react when you try to steal the stuff he bought with his own money?"
"Just remember Carlos, I have your kryptonite with me and I am not afraid to show it to Chris."
"Oh yeah? Well what's my Kryptonite then?" Carlos asked sarcastically.
Kurt smiled and pulled out his cell phone. Dialling in a number, he waited. "Hello? Uh-huh, code Explosive Drunk Clown. Uh huh...it's for you Carlos." He handed it to Carlos.
"Hello?" Carlos' eyes widened. "Melissa?" He mouthed several words into the phone. "Okay, look, I only said I might have forgotten to remove some things, I never said that I-okay, okay, breathe in, slowly, slowly...good, now look-Okay I may have some explosive items left in the cabin! But I said I'd go ahead and check just in caser...okay, okay, alright. Glad we didn't have to repeat that night in Moscow...love you too honey...oh, okay." He looked to Chris. "It's for you Chris?"
He tossed the phone at Chris who held to his hear.
"Hello?" Chris flinched from the yelling in his ear. "Yeah, okay, okay, . . . NO! Please don't do that! All right! I'll do it!"
While Melissa was yelling at Chris Carlo looked at Kurt.
"Why?"
Kurt shrugged. "Why not?"
"All right, well played, Kurt. But just remember this, the war has only begun."
Xxx
"I almost thought there was nothing more disgusting than Owen's farts but it seems that actually possible there is!" Heather ranted as tried to get rid of the disgusting smell.
Everyone was keeping away from her because of how bad she stank.
"You should have let me go in there. I would have avoided a trap . . " Courtney said.
"We know. Because you're a CIT." Beth cut her off, annoyed.
"Get over it." Eva said.
Courtney made an angry noise. Katie smiled as she out several supplies.
"That's a lot of food you have there." Gwen commented.
"I know. It's just when me and Sadie were lost back on the island it was frightening. This way if I get lost again I'll plenty of food with me. My mom also got me a compass and a few other things." Katie replied as she pulled out some shirts resembling hers.
"What's with the shirts?"
"Just in case I get lost for a couple of days. These are my favourite because Sadie and I designed them."
"You make your own clothes?" Beth asked.
"Yeah."
"That's so cool!"
"Yeah. Awesome." Eva said sarcastically.
Meanwhile Trent was packing his things when he looked up and saw Duncan in front of him.
"Hey, man, can I talk to you for a second?"
Trent had a suspicious look on his face.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"Oh, nothing. Just a second."
Trent put his stuff down as he followed Duncan into the woods. Gwen looked up and she saw that.
'Oh no. That can't be good.'
"Cody, could you keep an eye on my stuff for a second?"
Cody nodded as Gwen followed them into the woods.
Xxx
Trent followed Duncan through woods until Duncan was sure they were out of earshot and sight.
"Thanks for coming, man."
"Cut the formalities. What do you want from me?"
"This!"
Duncan spun counter clockwise and threw backhand at Trent. Luckily Trent caught Duncan's arm and twisted it behind his back. Duncan sent an elbow back which caused Trent to release him.
"What the hell?" Trent shouted.
"You getting so lonely you want to get the girl who left you?" Duncan asked. "What was that?"
Trent's eyes widened before they narrowed.
"That's rich coming from you. You cheated on Courtney and you broke me and Gwen up."
Duncan chuckled.
"Dude, I had nothing to do with that. Maybe you don't remember but you went all crazy. Like I said she left you."
"And I doubt you really care for her. How do I know you won't cheat on her too?"
"Like that's any of your business."
"I get it. You were scared of Courtney so you kissed Gwen to get away from her!" Trent pointed at Duncan who scowled at him.
"You know, I was just going to let you off with a warning but now. . ."
"Don't even think about it, Duncan!"
Both boys turned and saw Gwen running out of the shadows and stood between them.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I-I was just. . ."
"Trying beat the crap out of each other? And for what, because of me?"
Trent looked sadly at Gwen while Duncan just lowered his fist. Gwen turned and looked at her boyfriend. She knew the truth but she had to pretend she did not know.
"Is it true? Did you just kiss me to get back at Courtney?"
Duncan looked away. Even though he would not speak Gwen had her answer.
"I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I think in the back of my head I knew but I let my feelings do the thinking instead of my common sense." Gwen turned around to walk away. "Duncan, I don't know why you did all of this but . . It's over. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore."
Without even looking back she walked away. Trent walked away but not before giving Duncan one final glare leaving him alone.
Xxx
Gwen walked back to her team. Cody gave her a concerned look as she picked up her bag.
"We ready to go?"
"Yeah."
Gwen stood up and waited for everyone to be ready.
"Having some relationship troubles?" Courtney asked with a smirk.
Gwen didn't even acknowledge her presence as she looked to see Trent walk over to his team with a sad look over how he behaved while Duncan didn't show any emotions on his face.
"All right, campers. You have until sun down to find the cabin at the top of the mountain. Good luck." Chris said.
"Now when you say good luck is it because you booby trapped the path up to the mountain?" Carlos asked with a glare.
"No! No, no, no, no, no . .. . Maybe."
Xxx
"Chris, tell me again...did you put traps on the main road? The one that my family uses and will be using in a month when we come here again?" Carlos asked, slowly growing vicious with each word.
"Uh..in my defence, you never told me you were married, so when I came here, I had no idea what so ever that you would be here." Chris said. "This is your own fault man! You never tell me anything! I guess your own ignorance is coming back to bite you in the ass!"
"...Kurt isn't the only one who has an obsessive compulsive to record conversations," Carlos pointed to one of the TVs. "Everybody, this is Chris on high-def, during the time I took to explain the location of and ownership of the cabin."
It showed Chris and Carlos in the main office.
"Okay Chris, now I don't want you to put any dangerous traps on the main road or around the property. Seriously, my kids play there and we drive through every three months or so." Carlos said. "Remember? I'm married? I told you in front of the whole cast and world?"
"Yeah..." Chris said, ignoring him entirely while speaking into his phone.
"Can you repeat that to me?" Carlos asked.
"No dangerous traps...on path...to my cabin...yeah-yeah hold on." Chris looked at Carlos. "Can you please wait a few minutes? I'm talking to my agent here!"
Carlos took the phone. "This is Carlos to who ever this is. If you're talking to Chris, there's fifty bucks in it for you to hit the road and take a vacation, an extended one." He hang up. "Now repeat it to me man, I don't want Carlos Junior to fall into a twenty foot deep pit filled with rats just because you're a sadist! And if Sally gets hung upside down I'm gonna-"
"You do realize that was my agent you sent on vacation man!" Chris shouted. "Now I need to go out and shop for my hair gel the old fashioned way! Aw well, see you later." Chris left.
"Chris, wait-!" SLAM!
"...That little rat son of a-" The video ended.
"You see! You're own ignorance came back to bite you! You took my phone after trying to talk to me while on said phone ,and sent my agent on vacation, and left me to get my hair gel by actually shopping!" Chris said. "This just proves that your ignorance to my busy schedule is coming back to bite you in the-" Carlos picked Chris up and dragged him to the river, where he dunked him in upside down, holding him by the ankles. "Gurglegurglegurgle!" Carlos pulled him back up. "Are you trying to drown me?"
"The thought occurred to me, but I swore after that mission in Japan I'd never drown a man..at least not any innocent bystanders." Carlos said.
"What are you doing this to me for? I didn't know! You picked the worst possible time to try and warn me and look what happened! How was I supposed to know you picked a secret mountain for a vacation get away! You're just using your fancy strength and SAS skills to weasel your way out of being blamed for your ignor-AH!" Chris slipped out of his pants and fell into the stream.
"That's number 75, the seventy fifth person who left you with their pants Carlos." Kurt said.
"I tell you, Americans can't make decent clothing to save their lives...literally. But on the bright side my kids never go short on clothes." Carlos said. "But these ones...I'll toss them back, they smell of cheap hair gel." He tossed the pants into the river while Chris washed up, revealing pink boxers.
"Uh...nice undies, cuz." Carlos looked at Kurt. "Kurt, we have to handle those traps. Some of the kids are in no condition to go through them and I will not bring my family here if there's a risk to my kids."
"You're dragging me up the mountain to dismantle the traps, aren't you?" Kurt sighed.
"Come on man, think of my kids!" Carlos said.
"Alright fine, just watch your footing around here, I think I found a trap." Kurt advised.
"Really? Whe-ERR-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R!-!-!-!-!-!-?-?" THUD! Carlos had fallen into a trap hole.
"Right there." Kurt said.
"Haha! Take that Carlos!" Chris said as he pulled on his pants. "Fighting in the British SAS and you fall for the oldest trick in the book! What's with you man, come on! Do you even know what a trap hole is anymore or are you much into your fancy Call of Duty style technology and gizmos-AH!-!-!-!-!-!"
Carlos had climbed up and pulled Chris into the hole with him.
Kurt coughed awkwardly. "Okay I'll just leave you two to your family bonding, I'll go dismantle the traps."
"Kurt, don't leave me here-OH DEAR MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS GODLY!" Chris screeched.
"Okay campers, family moment here, let's go!" Kurt called to the group.
"OH MY GOD HELP ME!"
"He's fine, he's being over dramatic as usual." Kurt waved his hand ,dismissing the screams. "That's the point of the show, right? Total Drama!"
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
"Oh he's fine ,he and Carlos really enjoy their bonding time."
"WHY DO I HAVE AN OVER GROWN CAVE MAN LIKE YOU FOR A RELATIVE?"
"ROBERTO'S THE CAVE MAN! I'M THE WRESTLER!" Carlos shouted. "NOW WATCH AS I MAKE CHUCK NORRIS PROUD!"
"What are you- OH MAN THAT HURT!"
"Okay they're having fun, now let's go while the show still has fifteen minutes left." Kurt herded them away.
"GOD SAVE ME! KURT! BUDDY! DON'T GO!" Chris wailed. "I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING! MONEY? A YACHT? GOLD? A GOLDEN YACHT FULL OF WOMEN? I'LL GIVE YOU A FREAKING CRUISE SHIP! I'LL EVEN CHRISTEN IT THE RMS KURT'S SO FREAKING HOT! JUST PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!"
"The cruise ship does sound tempting...meh," Kurt walked off, leaving the hole behind. "At least I'm hot."
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEBODY SAVE ME!"
Xxx
"Okay, so let me get this straight," Many miles from the mountains, in England, one extremely pissed off and lightly pregnant woman was speaking into a phone. "Your idiot of a cousin set BOOBY TRAPS around our vacation home?"
I already clobbered him, and Kurt and I will make a few sweeps around the house to make sure the Human Mop didn't leave anything too dangerous close to the garden." Carlos replied. "And for good measure I'll kick his ass again for trespassing."
"I actually wish you'd just shoot him," Melissa sighed. "Just make sure nothing bad will happen the next time we go up there, okay?"
"Alright hun," Carlos promised. "After this show is done I'll keep my distance from the Human Mop from now on. Love you."
"Love you too,"
They hang up.
Xxx
"Okay, so...run this by me again." Gwen said. "Chris set up possibly dangerous traps...where three kids play every few months? Around houses owned by rich people?"
"That's about the gist of it," Cody shrugged. "Man, Carlos sounded so mad I won't be surprised if Chris needs Heather's old wheel chair after today."
"He can have it." Heather said. "After everything he's done it's about time he gets a taste of his own medicine."
"If you're lucky his wife and kids might be like that also." Courtney said.
"So...let's see that map," Cody pulled out the map Carlos provided. "Okay..who has the compass?"
"Yo," Eva held up the compass.
"Okay...well obviously we can't take the path Chris set us since he booby trapped it." Cody said. "We might have to go around, waste an hour or two but it'll be safer. We went north by north west from the camp...and there's a land mark there." He pointed to where the river curved north east. "So we're here...so if we head west to a rock formation, take a turn north again, and hug the line parallel to the path, it should be easy going if I can spot how far out the traps are set."
"Wow...did you go to a class for everything?" Gwen asked.
"Eh, I read a lot." Cody said. "Truth be I self taught myself in navigation...and French. I got bored a lot between the challenges sometimes, and since World tour had free wi fi when we landed, I uh...took advantage ,set myself up, memorized some stuff. Came in handy when we were here last time."
"Oh yeah, I remember, Noah almost got his crotch burned off." Beth giggled.
"Well, let's go, Carlos said there's food and I'll gladly go anywhere Chris is forbidden to step near." Courtney said.
Carlos had announced that Chris and Chef would not join them inside the cabin-as they were forbidden by law to cross into his property now ,they'd just sit in a tent by the road. Chris had protested ,as had Chef, before Carlos used the wonderful magic of threats and intimidation to silenced them.
For most of the day the teams walked along their own chosen paths towards the cabin, wary of Chris' traps. By the time it was afternoon they came upon a path.
"Is the path to the cabin?" asked Beth.
"No. It's not on the map." Cody replied, pulling out the map again.
"So it shouldn't have any traps?" Gwen asked.
"No."
"Good, we can take it."
Before anyone could object Gwen walked forward. She just wanted the day to be over. She soon saw what looked like a house up ahead.
"Cody! How are we from the cabin?" She called back.
"We're still fifteen minutes away." Cody said walking up to her.
She pointed ahead. "Than what's that?"
They looked ahead to see a two-story cabin.
"That must be the cabin!" Katie squealed. "That was easy!"
"Uh...we're not anywhere near Carlos' cabin." Cody said.
"And it looks...run down, no way Carlos would have his kids in there if he keeps talking about them like he wouldn't let go of their hands on a road." Eva crossed her arms.
"Well, its off the beaten path, maybe it's just...abandoned." Gwen shrugged.
"Hey, I think I see something..." Cody walked up to what had once been the drive way and stopped at something covered in moss that stood up next to the gravel. He began to dig away, pushing the green aside. "It's a mail box..." His eyes widened. "Uh...hey Gwen?" He barely managed to keep his voice at a regular pitch and volume. "Come look at this."
Gwen walked over and saw the name on the mail box.
SCHAEFFER
She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from shouting. She and Cody exchanged a glance.
"Schaeffer..." Heather read the mail box. "That a German name?"
"I think you're on the spot with that, I don't really know," Cody shrugged. "Looks like it's been abandoned for...years, decades even."
"Well, we're obviously parallel to the main path like you wanted us to be, the road's in sight." Gwen pointed to where the drive way came out into the main road about fifty yards away.
As they walked away Gwen and Cody shared a look as they knew whose house that had to have been.