A/N Another update! Whoop Whoop! Hope you guys are enjoying the story, and let me know what you think!
Sitting at the usual table in the back corner of the cafeteria, I bit into another fresh and juicy apple as I watched the other patient's converse with each other. Facing Clyde as he sat directly across from me, I listened to the crunch of the crispy fruit before asking "Where are the others?"
For a while now, I had wondered what made Arkham so 'dangerous' in the eyes of the public. Scanning over the various men and woman, I wasn't at all fazed by any of them. They all seemed harmless. In fact, I haven't witnessed a single 'disturbance in the peace' since arriving; besides the man who now had no eyes and had yet to return. No one did or said anything fun or chaotic, they simply sat here mumbling or staring off into the distance – things were starting to look dull and bland.
"The others?" questioned Clyde "by that, I'm assuming you mean the dangerous and deadly" he restated with slight dramatic tone. Nodding my head, he continued "they're in a whole different area Missy…solitary…someone where you don't wanna be. Trust me…"
"And why's that?" I asked while leaning in "Have you been there?"
"Me?" he questioned before shaking his head "no, no, no" he said while shifting on his seat "no that place, it isn't meant for people like me"
Humming with a sigh, my shoulders slumped in down disappointment "What a shame. And here I was, thinking you were the baddest and maddest of the bunch"
Laughing lowly, Clyde crossed his arms before leaning on the table "I'm just a guy who knows how to get around…the people you're referring to – the ones they send down there – they're people you don't ever want to run into…the worst of the worst"
"Oh" I cooed with a grin "now I'm interested, please do continue. Tell me. Who are these people – the so called worst of the worst?" taking the last bite of my apple, I sat the core down onto the tray.
"Well I think, by the looks of it Missy, you've already made yourself acquainted with one of those 'people'…haven't you?" he said while looking over my pale face and arms. Keeping my brown eyes locked onto his, I swallowed the lump of chewed apple in my mouth. I could feel it sliding down my throat in an uncomfortable manner.
"Exactly, how long have you been here?" I asked suddenly, diverting myself from the rather 'sensitive' subject of the Joker.
Looking over Clyde's almost scrawny upper torso, the orange sleeves of his uniform had been rolled up to his elbows; allowing the faint scars along his arms to bounce from the lights above. I admit Clyde certainly has an air of mystery surrounding him at all times. It made me feel somewhat sceptical. Especially considering he seemed to know a lot about me, yet I knew almost nothing about him. I think that should change.
"…Forever…" he answered simply with a wave of his hand.
"Crane told me to keep away from you…he said it could impact my recovery. Now why would he say a funny thing like that? Hmm? Are you keeping secrets from me?" I asked "did you do something really bad?" I asked with a devilish smirk. Maybe I could get a good story out of all of this – something interesting.
"The Doctor, says a lot of things…but, it all depends on how you perceive things" answered Clyde "what I see, isn't necessarily what you might see…it's all different"
"Different? How?" I asked with a smile "go on. I want to know"
"Do you?" he asked with a tilt of his head and a slight chuckle.
"Yes"
"…Okay" he said while leaning back in his seat. Resting my head on the palm of my hands, I stared up at him; waiting for the story that was about to leave his lips "but not today" he added, making the smile on my face drop in an instant.
"How rude…you got me all worked up" I spoke with a sigh as, I too, leant back; my arms crossed over my chest.
"Don't pout Missy…all good things come in due time…and besides, how interesting would I be if you knew everything about me – I'd boring…and we all know what happens to people that bore you" listening to the familiar sound of the cafeteria alarm sound out, Clyde got up from his seat "I'll see you tomorrow" walking away from the table, I watched with squinted eyes as he was guided out of the cafeteria by an Orderly. How does he know? Who has he been talking to?
Still sitting at my table, I waited until the rush to leave the cafeteria was over before I rose from my seat. Heading over to the door way, I stood in line before I was met with the greasy round face of Gladys. Handing me a paper cup with my prescription pills, I took them from her hands and downed them before her eyes. Swallowing with a sip of water, I opened my mouth "She's good" grumbled the woman with a snake eyed look as an Orderly took me by the arm.
Walking down the familiar hallway, we were halfway to my room when I stopped "I need to go to the bathroom"
"You should have gone during your lunch break" grumbled the man as he gave my arm a firm tug. Halting, I planted my feet on the floor so that I didn't go any further.
"Please. I really need to go" whining, I looked up at him with pouting and pleading expression. Crossing my legs, the man stared at me before giving in with a sigh.
"Fine" he grumbled. Tugging me down a different hallway, we reached a single door way that had a small toilet sign labelled into it. Letting go of my arm, I pushed through the door "don't take forever" he added quickly as it closed behind me. Heading to one of five stalls in the room, the scent of harsh chemicals hit my nose as I got to my knees. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes as I stuck two of my fingers down my throat.
Feeling my gag reflex take over, my eyes and mouth watered before I threw up the contents of my lunch along with the pills. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I continued until there was nothing left. Wiping my mouth with a piece of toilet paper, I sighed before take a few more deep breaths; the burning sensation in my throat feeling like pure acid.
Since the session with Crane a few days ago, I had done what he had instructed – I took my pills and continued therapy. Only every day I had to come up with new ways to 'take the pills without actually taking them', and this was one of the ways. Not at all convenient, but it's affective.
Getting up off the floor, I reached under my shirt. Feeling for the underneath of my bra, I flipped the fabric up and grabbed the shive that I had hidden there earlier this morning. Since I had to return the book back to the same man who had given it to me, I had to figure out where I was going to hide the shiv, and the toilet was a good a place as any. There wasn't any way it could be linked to me directly, and it was easy enough to access when I needed it. Not to mention very few of the Orderly's felt comfortable ever frisking a sixteen year old girl.
Popping open the lid of the toilet, I wedged it right under the water pump so that if any of the cleaners needed to open it up, they wouldn't see it unless they really looked. Placing the lid back on, I went and washed my hands and tried my eyes. Checking over my appearance, I walked back out of the bathroom with a smile on my face "I'm all done" I announced with a cheery tone. Looking me up and down, the Orderly scoffed before wrapping his thick fingers around my arm; taking me back to my room for the day.
"I'm sure they'll be alright" spoke Barbara Gordon as she tried to reassure her father, who sat in the living room lounge chair "the department can take care of it. You need a break too you know" smiling, Barbara took out the tray of roast veggies and a perfectly cooked pork roast. Turning around, she closed the oven door with her foot before placing the tray down on the kitchen counter.
"You're right. I'm just stressed about it all…I keep worrying about this city. Trying to make it a safe place" spoke Gordon as he flicked through the newspaper. Sniffing the hair, he sighed "that smells good" turning her head up, Barbara smiled as she began to carve the meat. Echoing out, the doorbell had suddenly rang, making her smile slightly falter from her thin pink lips "I wonder who that could be at this time of night" mumbled Gordon "better not be one of those sales people…don't they know it's late"
"Don't get up" ordered Barbara lightly as she sat down the carving fork and knife. Tucking a lose strand of her fiery red hair behind her ear, she walked around the counter "you just sit and relax. Like you're supposed to…" she said with a smile before opening the door "can I-"
Freezing Barbara's lips had parted with shock as her eyes widened at the pale face, green hair and the twisted and glinting smile. Standing in front of her, Joker held a gun while two goons stood behind him; one either side. Firing the weapon with a sharp bang, Barbara felt numb as she lurched back before falling to the floor with a thud. Clutching the oozing bullet wound as it leaked blood, her face contorted in agony as she whimpered; her blue eyes blurring with tears.
Instantly rising to his feet, Jim had collapsed to his knees by his daughter "Barb?!" he called out, taking her hand in his. Allowing himself in, Joker took in the view of the living room before smelling the rich air.
"Well, would you look at that – right on time for dinner. Aren't I just lucky?" spoke the Joker in a grumbling tease. Following close behind, the two goons entered and closed the door behind him.
Turning from his daughter, Gordon glared at the Joker as the criminal began to pour himself a drink; not at all fazed "You bastard! My daughter. I'll…" interrupted, Gordon had been plucked from his hovered position on the floor. Held tight by one of the goons, the other swung a rather hard punch to the commissioner's stomach making his gasp with a wheezing cough.
Ignoring Gordon, Joker sipped on his drink as he made his way over to Barbara. Giving her legs a quick kick, he looked her up and down as she once again whimpered; her body not responding at all. Joker knew exactly what he had done – he had, no doubtingly, paralysed her from the waist down.
Crouching beside her, Joker downed the rest of his drink before flinging the glass behind him; the sounding of shattering glass echoing out as it smashed against the wall "You know, it's such a shame you'll miss out on your fathers 'debut', Miss Gordon" said Joker "but sadly – our venue wasn't built with the disabled in mind…but don't worry" he grinned "I'll take some snapshots to remind him of you"
Retrieving a small old fashioned camera from his coat, Joker held the black device up to his face before a bright flash captured the terrified and weeping face of Barbara Gordon "W-why…why are you doing this?" whimpered the red head as she still clutched her stomach.
Reaching down, Joker had gripped Barbara's face to make her look at him "Because your father 'took' something of mine. Something that didn't belong to him…" he answered simply before snapping another picture with the camera "so now, I'm going to take something of his…"
Standing in my cell, I kept myself balanced at every tug of the belt buckles that tightened the strait jacket. Staring at the white wall in front of me, I traced my eyes along the long jagged lines that dragged down a few centimetres of the wall; as if somewhat had sat on the floor, clawing away at the paint with their bare nails. Probably trying to scratch and dig themselves free from this lunatic prison. Feeling two hands clasp my shoulder, the Orderly spun me around on the spot before pulling me out of my small room and down the hallway. According to him, we were off to see one of the Asylums medical doctors a few floors up; which is why I'm being uncomfortably confined.
Making our way down the hallway and past several checkpoints, we reached the large elevator where two black uniformed men stood with their guns guarding the entrance; waiting for our arrival so they could escort us. Listening to the creaking hum of the large metal elevator to arrive, we all got in silently and ascended to the top; the flickering like almost becoming hypnotic before it stopped and we walked back out. Wandering past more rooms with more wailing patients, we eventually passed through a set of double doors that led into a large medical bay; made up of several clean beds and examination cubicles.
Heading over to a curtained off space, I found the familiar face of Doctor Crane waiting for me on the other side. Turning at my arrival, I saw that he was speaking with elderly man in a white lab coat; the same man that examined me when I first arrived here. With peppered grey hair and a shaven face, he held the same clipboard as he too turned to see me "Amara. Hello again" he spoke in a friendly tone "please" he said with gesture to the check-up bed "take a seat"
Keeping a firm eye on Doctor Crane, he stood with his hands clasped behind his back in his usual suit and glasses. Using the step up stool provided, I got up onto the check-up bed with ease. Now tracing my eyes back to the old Doctor as he stepped forward, he officially introduced himself "My name is Doctor Montgomery. I'll be your regular doctor during your stay here, and if you have any issues, don't hesitate to speak up" he said before taking out a pen light.
Holding up his index finger, I followed the Doctors instructions; the blaring white pen light shining straight into my eyes. Checking for anything abnormal "Good so far…" he said while switching the light off. Once again holding his clipboard, he checked several boxes and took down some notes "you've been taking your medication. How have you been feeling the past few days? Any nausea, or sleeping problems?"
Shaking my head "No"
"Okay…can I get you to stand please" doing as he said, he placed down the clipboard and pen "I'm just going to take this off" making quick work of the buckles lining down my back, I felt the weight of the thick straight jacket drop from my body. I couldn't help but notice the sudden but slight tenseness in the Orderly's and Crane "alright, please stand on the scales" stepping up onto the black box, I watched the arrow flick across before eventually settling still on a number. Writing down the figures, Doctor Montgomery announced "you've lost a bit of weight…have you been eating properly?"
"Yes" I replied.
"Are you sure?" he asked with a firm gaze as he looked up from his clipboard.
"Yes…" hearing him sigh, I turned to look at Crane when the greasy woman, Gladys, from the cafeteria suddenly walked in past the curtains. Standing with her hands by her side, I looked her up and down. The uniform she wore too tight fitting. The buttons strained against her swollen belly. From here I could see the perspiration on her forehead and upper lip, her sunken in eyes watching me; daring me to snap at her presence.
"According to Gladys, you haven't…you've been seen several times throwing away most, if not all, of your food at the end of lunch hours"
"If you knew I was throwing it away, then why are you asking me in the first place?" I asked with an edge of venom to my voice.
"Because we want to establish trust Amara…you should be able to talk to us about small complications such as your meals. Do you not like the food provided? Or is it something else?" asked Doctor Montgomery.
"If that's what you want to call it, then yes. I have a problem with the 'food'. It's disgusting" just like the fat pig beside you I added in thought "is that all?" I asked with a snap "I'd like to go back to my room"
Before Doctor Montgomery could speak, Crane had immediately stepped forward; his arms crossed and intense blue eyes focused on me "There's one more thing…and I'd like it very much if you answered honestly…" pausing, we continued to stare at each other "…have you been taking your medication?"
"…Yes…" I spoke after a brief pause.
Slowly nodding his head, Crane took a step back allowing Doctor Montgomery to step forward "Please, lay down. I just need to get a quick blood sample and the Orderly's will take you back to your room" giving me a ghost of a smile, I did as he said.
Something told me Crane didn't believe the lie that I had just told. Not one bit.
Sitting in the hospital waiting room, Gordon's head hung low as he held a cup of now lukewarm coffee. Listening to the sound of monitors beeping and staff walking past, it was still early during the night as he waited for the Doctor to come see him in hopes of hearing any form of good news.
It had been three days since the Joker had broken into his home. Three days since he had been beaten until he was black and blue, and three days since he had shot Barbara – straight through the spine. At this moment, Gordon felt immense dread and guilt.
Guilt because he wasn't able to protect his daughter. Guilt because of what had been done to her; all of it being solely his fault. If only things had been different he thought as he sat in the chair, if only I could go back and change time. None of this would have happened "…Jim…" spoke a voice, bringing him out of his train of thought.
Looking up, he was met with the site of the Doctor dressed in his white lab coat; stethoscope hanging around his neck as he held a clipboard "Yeah Doc…" standing up, Gordon threw the coffee into the small bin on his left "how is she doing?"
"She's doing fine. We did the scans today…" sighing, the Doctor continued "I'm afraid there's not much we can do for her in terms of rehabilitation. If the bullet had been a centimetre to the right, she might have had the chance to walk again, but I'm afraid that's not the case…I'm really sorry Jim" spoke the Doctor with a face of pity and sadness as he glanced to the floor with a frown.
Sighing, Gordon rubbed his eyes "Alright…" he muttered, trying to fight off the tears that threatened to spill at any moment "...it's been a few days. When will I be able to see her?"
"She did wake up earlier this morning, but she was in a severely stressed and panicked state. We had to give her something to calm down…I don't think she'll be able to have visitors for another day or two…give her a chance to settle down first…she's been through a lot" stated the Doctor.
Nodding his head, Gordon gave a ghost of a smile in appreciation for the Doctors efforts "I'll head home then…"
"That would be best…you don't look so good yourself Jim" replied the Doctor as he looked over the officer; his face somewhat swollen from bruising, a few cuts from split skin along his face "you should take a few days off – relax"
"Trust me, the last thing I need is to be sitting in that house alone with my own thoughts. Staring at it all. Having it replay…No…" said Gordon with a slight shake of his head "I need the work to take my mind off it" placing his hands on his waist, Gordon nodded his head "I'll see you around Doc…"
Walking out of the hospital, Gordon made his way over to his car before getting in. Pausing with his hands on the steering wheel, he sniffled as the silence began to enter his head. Even after seeing and hearing everything – he couldn't believe it. His own daughter. He didn't want it to be real, but it was, and it made him sick the more he thought about it.
Starting the engine, Gordon took his time making his way home – he almost felt like burning the place down when he got back. If only to take away the recent and most painful memories, but he couldn't, because this was also the place where much happier memories were made. One's he couldn't bare to destroy.
Pulling into the driveway, he switched off the car before getting out. Grabbing his keys from his pocket, Gordon unlocked the front door and headed inside the dark house. Hanging his jacket on the coat hanger to the left, he closed the door behind him before flicking on the light. Turning around – the world had grinded to a terrifying standstill.
"No!"
The air had left his lungs in a fail swoop. The room began to spin. Flashes of red crossed his vision in taunting tones. Pictures. The pictures where everywhere. All along the walls. All along the carpet. Each one different and more disturbing. He wanted to be sick. He wanted to gouge out his own eyes so that he didn't have to see – the pictures of Barbara. The pictures of his naked daughter. Screaming. Crying. Everywhere.
Stumbling forward, Gordon collapsed onto his knees. Trembling, his hands picked one of many pictures taken up off the ground; staring into it, only to drop it a few seconds later. Spreading his arms open wide, he scooped his hands along the floor to try and collect the photos – he need to get rid of it, but he could barely see with the tears flowing down his cheeks as he sobbed.
So encased in the hellish word he had been so suddenly thrusted into, Gordon didn't realise a figure step before him. It wasn't until a pair of fine leather pointed shoes entered the top of his vision, that he realised he was even there "…well…look who stumbled into my fun house of nightmares…" peering up through his wet lashes, Gordon gaped as the Joker looked down with a glinting grin "how's the view from down there? Hmm?" he the laughed. Taking a few steps toward the closest wall, Joker plucked a picture from the wall with a tisk "you know, I aughta start taking more photo's – I really seem to be able to 'capture' the 'raw' emotions…don't you think?"
"W-why….why are you doing this?!" whined Gordon as he still knelt on the floor; a handful of crumbled photo's clutched in both of his hands.
"Doing?" spoke the Joker as he turned to look back at Gordon "I'm not doing anything…this" gestured Joker to his surroundings "it's all on you…" tilting his head, he added "I find it funny how you thought it was 'all' over…" stepping over, the pictures on the floor crunched and crackled under Jokers footsteps before he crouched down "this is all just the price you pay for the mistakes you make, and believe in me when I say, you've made plenty..."
"I was doing what was right…by the people of Gotham" said Gordon "they deserve a place they can feel safe. A place where we aren't intimidated by people like you…" swiftly grabbing a hold of Gordon, Joker held him tight.
"Take a good look around commissioner…how do you expect to protect the city, when you can't even protect yourself…not even your own daughter…" staring into the old man's eyes, Joker could see him breaking "your just a man with a gun who thinks he can be a hero…it's time to wake up from that dream commissioner" said Joker as he flicked Gordon on the forehead.
"You won't get away with this…you'll pay for your 'own' mistakes too…It's just a matter of time before you're in a padded cell" stated Gordon in a final attempt to keep strong.
"I don't doubt it, and at the rate this city's inhabitance are losing their minds, they'll be doubling up. Maybe they'll stick you and me together…" he joked with a chuckle "but before then, I'll continue to do what I do best – wreak havoc and have my way with the world..." getting up, Joker straightened his waist coat with a light tug at the bottom "if only you could see it the way I do commissioner. Where two halves of a whole…without people like me, there wouldn't be people like you"
Raking his fingers through his green hair to slick it back, Joker turned and grabbed his jacket from the coat hanger; a detail completely missed by Gordon "I'll remember this Joker…" spoke Gordon from his position on the ground.
"Oh...I wouldn't do that if I where you" he replied while slipping on his jacket "remembering's dangerous. I find the past a worrying and anxious place. Memories treacherous. One moment you're lost in a carnival of delight, and the next, it leads you to somewhere you really don't want to go… somewhere dark and cold…so if you're going to remember anything Jim Gordon, remember this…when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable…remember, there's always madness…madness is the emergency exit"
Retrieving a small remote, a sound – no a voice – echoed out. The pleading and crying of someone Jim Gordon's heart held above all else. The voice of his wife – Sarah Gordon. This indeed was the dark and damp places of a past best forgotten. One he still had nightmares about. This was the place where the screaming became utterly unbearable.