Disclaimer: I don't own Tin Man, Silence of the Lambs or The Sound of Music – how's that for an eclectic disclaimer?
Author's Note: Potential delay in the next few chapters – Azkadellia seems to be taking a nap, though Gulch is trying to pick up the slack. Maybe if we're lucky I'll be assigned more fencing, it's good thinking time, especially when one is in possession of an ipod, though that does lend the hammering a certain...rhythm. And it is impossible to get lonely when the entire blooming cattle herd apparently decides to follow you around bawling their heads off. Shoo!
...
Azkadellia wasn't even trying to pay attention to the meeting in progress. The proposed commemoration ball in honour of the Heroes of the Eclipse and those that fell in the struggle to end the Sorceress' reign was important, true, but it was still in the initial stages of planning. The advisors were bound to argue for hours yet as to the venue, duration and cost of the event, not to mention whether or not the ceremony should actually be a ball in the first place. It was sounding more like a funeral to Az when she finally gave up on being attentive and tuned out. Besides, how could she be expected to focus on stuffy old advisors demonstrating their oratory powers when there were far more interesting sights to behold, such as Officer Gulch endeavouring to teach Kansas how to make strange hand gestures.
He looked so...paternal. Little Kansas really was, as DG put it, the cutest little fuzz ball and the Othersider couldn't be more adorably enthralled. The eldest princess had absolutely no idea as to the purpose of the hand gestures but the policeman was endlessly patient with the infant mobat, giving him a coo of encouragement and an affectionate scratch behind the ears every time Kansas attempted to respond. She could just see it now, Officer Gulch in the – perhaps not so distant – future surrounded by a whole bunch of little Gulches, and maybe a few little brown-eyed princesses for him to dote on as well. Six? How about seven? Or would even numbers of each be better?
Turning her gaze hastily back towards the advisors (they got so huffy when they thought you weren't hanging onto their every word), Azkadellia thought she saw caught a glimpse of Cain rolling his eyes. What? Had she missed something? Tuning back in to the proceedings, the eldest princess discovered that the advisors had gotten much farther along in the planning than she had anticipated. A ball it was, apparently, to be held at Central City Palace on the anniversary of the Eclipse, though some were holding out for a more extensive celebration. Taking one last sneak peek at the cop and mobat out of the corner of her eye, the eldest princess resigned herself to paying attention.
"Before we go any farther in these discussions," one of the stuffier old advisors broke in tentatively, "there is, ah, one matter of some import we would like to discuss first."
The Royal Family turned a variety of bored, interested and exasperated faces in the advisor's direction. Az opted for another quick glance at the Othersider as he made a strange one-handed gesture that kind of resembled a beak opening and closing repeatedly.
"My fellow advisors and I discussed this at length when we first considered proposing the Heroes of the Eclipse Celebration and, ah, we, ah, felt it would be best if Princess Azkadellia did not attend."
The room was suddenly so quiet you could hear a vision drop. Az felt phantom pains ghost over still healing wounds. Not again. How more many times would she be forced to sit there and listen to people heap blame upon her head?
"You have to understand, Your Majesties," the spokesman continued plaintively, "that this will be an event in commemoration of not only the Heroes of the Eclipse, but also those that fought and died to end a war that, quite frankly, the eldest princess was on the other side of."
Only because I had a wicked witch running around in my head like it was her own personal playground, and I don't remember her being particularly concerned about any threat from the majority of the then former advisors, Azkadellia thought as DG sat forward angrily, mouth opening to deliver blistering retort.
"Please don't misunderstand me," the puffed up advisor insisted, holding up a hand to forestall her, "I mean no disrespect but the fact remains that Princess Azkadellia was the face of the sorceress and even now is seen as the enemy by much of the O.Z. Now that the truth is known, Princess DG herself only escapes censure...
You dare, Az hissed internally as the Tin Man situated at DG's right hand obviously began to have thoughts of eliminating a few council positions.
"...because she was not only very young at the time but she was the one that saved us in the end. And yes," he continued, cutting off DG's attempted heated interjection once more, "we all realize the eldest princess was also quite young when this all started, but the fact remains that the O.Z. saw her constantly since, and well into adulthood, working to destroy the O.Z. while serving as host to the true evil. Frankly, Your Majesties, we don't think it would be appropriate for her to be there when so many feel she is to blame."
And you, I think, the eldest princess pondered angrily as the entire Royal Family practically simmered with rage, I shall call Dopey. No wait, that would mean you were one of my dwarves, I don't want you as one of my dwarves. Their judgement may be flawed but they are not that stupid. It really was about time someone set people straight on a few things...
"What I've always wondered," said Officer Gulch absently, drawing everyone's surprised attention, "is who lets young children play in a bear infested forest containing prisons for deranged wicked witches."
...someone like her Othersider for instance. DG sat back slowly, reaching out to give Az a comforting pat on the hand. Azkadellia recognized the gesture for what it was, an invitation should she require her usual defences. She paused, though, well aware that a great deal of her present rage stemmed from the hurt of constant rejection, Az wanted to see where this led. Several of the self-satisfied lords were already looking fairly chagrined.
"Especially considering one of those children was DG," the Othersider continued, "I've known since the first time I pulled her out of Farmer Spencer's bullpen that she was a magnet for trouble. From what I've heard, she demonstrated this quality early on."
DG was starting to look amused and Azkadellia had to admit that, though she had no idea what the policeman was up to – if he even did – it was bound to be entertaining.
"For that matter," Gulch continued reflectively, "who puts a powerful evil being in a prison a five year old can unlock?"
An excellent point, the eldest princess noted with surprise. Why had nobody brought that up before? DG had hardly touched the stone face and it had sprung open to release hell. How careless were the witch's jailors anyway? Absently, Az noticed that the spokesman was looking especially unhappy with this statement; didn't he like to claim he had some lionhearted fellow in his ancestry?
"At the very least they could have made the magic words amount to something more than 'hey, I wonder what's back here'. Might as well of used 'Open Sesame', it's like locking Hannibal Lector up in a kiddie pen."
Okay, now Azkadellia was lost. DG and Ahamo seemed to think the comment hilarious as they tried to stifle their laughter.
"Why hell-o Clarice," Ahamo muttered under his breath causing DG to choke.
"Y-yes, but..." one lord tried to interject, but Kansas chose that instant to mimic one of Gulch's hand gestures, momentarily stealing all the cop's attention for himself.
"All things considered," Gulch mused on, waving his hand by his face, "Princess Azkadellia has done remarkably well. Take the my word for it, any other child raised by a psychopath such as this witch you all talk about would be bathing in your blood and dancing in the fields wearing your spleen as a hat."
"The hills are aliiive with the sound of muuusic," DG murmured back to Ahamo's humorous delight.
"Instead the princess somehow managed to grow into a caring, responsible individual who is not only hell bent on setting things right but also has the interests of the people very much at heart."
Azkadellia forgot all about her family's antics in favour of memorizing and storing away more of those beautiful words her Othersider seemed to like uttering at the oddest of moments.
"Yes, but some people think..." the advisor tried to regain the floor.
"My father always used to say, 'if you wait for everyone to agree with you you'll never get anything done'," the cop interrupted idly, apparently unwilling to yield it. "You know, I think Kansas is hungry," he said, losing all interest in the advisors.
The entire council room was thrown by this sudden shift in thought.
"Perhaps you should get him something to eat," replied Azkadellia, once again caught in the myriad of emotions Officer Gulch tended to inspire when he decided to tread blindly forth into a battle he didn't even realize he was fighting. Her lip was twitching with humour yet she still very much wanted to throw something at the pompous fool calling himself an advisor. Phantom fingers continued digging into broken fragments of her heart and recently dead guilt was attempting to resurrect, though the eldest princess fought it down viciously. Of one thing she was certain, however, as she watched her chief bodyguard hesitate before handing his protection duty over to the Tin Man and exiting the room.
"You know," Azkadellia said contemplatively, "if he keeps doing that, one of these days I'm just going to have to jump him."
Glancing at her Tin Man, DG replied with complete sympathy, "I know what you mean."
The humour left the Ahamo's face like it had been cut off. The Consort looked like he'd been punched in the gut as he rapidly shifted his gaze from the council room doors to Wyatt Cain and back again in absolute horror. The advisors, meanwhile, were preoccupied with the gun the Tin Man had removed from its holster and placed on the table. Apparently Cain thought it was time for the meeting to move past petty debates; Azkadellia agreed with him.
"I am going to the Heroes of the Eclipse Celebration," the eldest princess informed the entire room, breaking them out of their respective stupors. As the advisors turned to her with something akin to shock, it occurred to Az that she had, for the most part, remained silent during the council sessions that had taken place since the monarchy was restored. Insecure and sure that no one would listen to the former Sorceress' opinions anyhow, she'd passed her suggestions through DG and tried to avoid notice. Well that ended today, she was a princess, too, storms take it, they had to listen to her. "In fact I am in favour of the extended celebration notion."
The advisors stared at Azkadellia as if they'd never seen her before.
"We have balls all the time," Az continued, "if we truly want to honour the struggles and the sacrifice of the people, as well rejoice in their success we should make it something more, something bigger."
The Queen was looking alarmingly misty eyed as she gazed on her daughter, so was the Consort for that matter. The eldest princess shifted uncomfortably in her seat, she'd just been making a suggestion, she hadn't meant to make mommy and daddy cry. Turning her gaze back to the unexpectedly silent advisors, Azkadellia discovered that a few of the younger member of the staff, who had, until a moment ago, been fighting a losing battle to their elders, were attempting to smile tentatively at the eldest princess. The smiles still looked like they were about to run away screaming, but it was the thought that counted.
"Um," mumbled one of the younger advisors, raising his hand as if he were still in school, "I w-was thinking that maybe several events held in different locations w-would w-work better. You know, kind of include the various peoples of the O.Z."
"Like the places where events important to the downfall of the Sorceress took place," interjected another advisor, coming suddenly to life.
"How about..." started a third.
Azkadellia sat back in amazement at the sudden furor of brainstorming that her small statement of opinion had sparked among the younger advisors. The elder advisors were looking vaguely alarmed. Beside her, DG grinned and chucked Az affectionately on the shoulder.
Within an hour there was a battle royal going on between the advisors pushing for the standard ball and those insisting on a longer celebration, which was certainly not going to be a month long, no matter which side won, talk about exhausting. Not much was getting accomplished at this point but Azkadellia found herself enjoying the chaos, a little disorder was nice from time to time. In fact the feuding advisors had gotten so loud that they didn't even hear the approaching babble of voices until a rather upset mob of nobles, ambassadors, and, goodness, was that a scullery maid, burst into the room, pushing apologetic Royal Pages and Guards before them.
The Tin Man was instantly on his feet taking a protective stance between the Royal Family and the gathered crowd, his gun held loosely at his side as he waited to see how the situation developed.
"What is the meaning of this?" the Queen demanded in a tone ringing with regal authority.
There was a momentary silence then explanations erupted from everyone at once. Lord Linster, Advisor of Transportation, was saying something about his character being maligned while Tutor attempted to calm him down and explain something else. The scullery maids were complaining about nosy busybodies while another lord seemed to share their opinion. Azkadellia could only assume the maids had been caught up in the angry mob, why else would they dare interrupt a royal meeting for such a trivial matter? They seemed mad, though. Not as mad as a certain northern baron, however, who, for some reason, kept screaming about his underwear. The munchkins were waxing poetical about spies with lies; another advisor was wishing to charge someone with slander for belittling his intelligence while an ambassador claimed to have been held at gunpoint. The list went on and on. It was not until the ambassador screamed about an evil mobat that the necessary ray of light was shone upon the situation.
It was well, Az considered, that she had decided she liked a little bedlam because it seemed that her own personal, oblivious agent of chaos was apparently moving about the palace creating pandemonium.
"My Azkadellia," the Queen said calmly, turning to the eldest princess, "may I borrow those shiny restraints you and Cain like to use?"
"Can't you borrow the Tin Man's?" Az asked, hesitant to surrender her precious handcuffs.
"Cain's busy at present."
And indeed he was. Having apparently spotted a familiar face in the crowd, the Tin Man had backed the unfortunate lord into a corner and appeared to be conducting an interrogation. Az sighed regretfully and handed over the cuffs.
It took a long time to sort out the various grievances and smooth the ruffled feathers. So long, in fact, that they had to adjourn the council session that had been in progress. The eldest princess was secretly relieved about this, the advisors really needed to discuss the celebration further amongst themselves before bringing it before the Royal Family again. Released back into the wild, Azkadellia hastened towards the guards quarters in order to set her Othersider free only to make a new discovery.
Officer Gulch was standing in the hall contemplating the handle of the wardrobe to which he had been bound and singing a quiet lullaby to Kansas through the partially opened door. He had a rather pleasant voice.
"You know," the policeman said calmly, catching sight of the princess out of the corner of his eye, "I could probably break this to free myself if I had to. Would be a shame, though, I think this is handcrafted."
Azkadellia's lips twitched. "Why yes," she replied just as calmly, "made by Gillikin master craftsmen and transported down the yellow brick road, across the Crack in the O.Z. – which is that gorge you so hate to cross so much and not whatever you thought it was when infuriating Lord Linster – and installed right here in Finaqua. How about I unlock the cuffs so that you don't feel obliged to destroy the furniture?"
"Suits me, I need to check on Kansas."
Az barely restrained herself from tackling the cop; she could almost hear the patter of little feet in his words.
The Othersider, meanwhile, was contemplating less pleasant matters with furrowed brows. "I've been warned to stay out of the kitchen; do you think you could...?"
Uh oh, the eldest princess thought in panic, how does one explain they've been banned for the kitchen without admitting why one's been banned from the kitchen? Fortunately for Azkadellia, however, Bashful chose that moment to exit his room. The startled guard's eyes widened warily as the princess bent a contemplative gaze on him. He nearly retreated when she smiled. One of the tenets of leadership, she remembered Tutor telling her once: when in doubt, delegate.