Chapter 26 - Brotherly Bonds

Itachi was working away in his office, checking over some personnel files of three new recruits when Kotetsu came rushing into his doorway, breathing heavily as if he had run the whole way at full speed.

"Commander Uchiha. Sasuke is back from his mission."

His composure was perfect as he nodded and thanked the younger man for his swiftness and appeared to get back to reading the files, but on the inside his entire body was screaming with emotions he hadn't felt in a long time. He was worried, and scared and happy and relieved all at once. It was as if someone reached inside his brain and pushed the emotion switch into overdrive. His fear made the hand holding his pen shake as he considered all options about what would happen when his younger brother found out he was alive, and in Konoha once more; if he didn't know already. He hoped that maybe Sasuke had returned to see him, to fix their bond and mend fences. But he was scared that it might be the other end of the spectrum. He had no idea how to analyse how his brother would be feeling, as his emotions were getting the better of him. They were inhibiting him from thinking clearly and calmly about the situation. Obviously it was messy as hell, and maybe there was no clear cut way to rationalise what would be going through his brothers head. Maybe he was just as confused as he was.

There was no hope for him getting any work done now, but when he looked up at his clock, he realised it had been an hour since Kotetsu had come by to inform him of Sasuke's arrival. Even he couldn't hide the shock on his face and he knew he must have been staring at the page in front of him the entire time. If anyone had walked past, they must have been rather concerned about his fiery interest in the file in front of him. If they knew whose file he was reading, they might have warned them about it.

Someone knocked on the door and he flinched faintly, being drawn from his trance. It was Hitori. She strolled in, appearing to be as casual as possible but he already knew why she was here. His face stayed as blank as possible as he wasn't exactly sure what he should be giving away, even to his friend. He didn't exactly enjoy being powerless, and he couldn't have felt any weaker in this moment.

When she asked him if he had heard the news, he vaguely heard himself reply in a rather curt manner and sighed mentally, feeling bad at speaking to her like that. She was here to check on him, not to have him rouse on her.

"Are you alright?" she asked and it almost broke him. Her voice was so kind and caring that it made his heart thump a little harder.

"I don't know." he answered before he could really think about it, but he knew that it was honest, so he didn't worry.

"Is there anything I can do?" Hitori seemed to be asking even though she already knew his answer, but he appreciated it anyway.

"No, I think this is something we must go through ourselves." Although he was glad that she would be there to support him, he did need to be brave enough to handle it himself. He didn't really feel brave though.

"Okay. Just come to me if you need anything. I may not be able to understand it all, but I will try."

He was overcome with appreciation, and felt incredibly grateful to Hitori. Of course she couldn't possibly understand everything between them. She had no siblings, and no other family, but the fact that she would be willing to listen to him, even just to try and understand a little bit better, was wonderful. Despite her lack of experience in such matters, she was happy to help support him no matter what. He stood up from his desk and moved around it to stand in front of her.

"Thank you, Hitori."

He placed a hand on her shoulder but her wide, silver-grey eyes sucked him in. They were looking at him with such genuine kindness and concern that he felt his heart thump again. Before he could catch himself, he had pulled her into a hug. He felt awkward, but he knew that he needed to do something to show her how much he appreciated her efforts. In fact, he wondered briefly what on earth he would do without her. He didn't have anyone else to talk to, at least not as comfortably as he could with her. It wasn't overly surprisingly since they spent so much time together, but he did feel close to her. Maybe he would go and see her later to let her know that he was okay. Even though she wouldn't make the first move to reach out to him, she would be worried about him anyway. He would see how he felt after he spoke with his brother. It was highly likely he would want some space, but if he felt like company, he would go to her first.

It had been a few seconds, so he decided it was appropriate to pull back, not wanting to make this weird. She smiled at him, and he was glad that she didn't feel uncomfortable with him hugging her.

"I'm happy to help, Itachi. You're my friend."

He felt himself smile before he headed back behind his desk, not missing how Hitori smiled but it dropped as he turned away from her and blinked slowly for a moment to catch herself. To distract her, and himself, he thought it would be a good idea to inform her that he didn't have any mission openings for her currently.

"I don't have anything for you at the moment. I'll let you know if the scouts return with anything that I need you for." He composed himself to ensure he spoke with a semi-professional tone.

"I'll be at home if you need me then." Her tone was semi-professional as well and he understood that she was referring to both them being friends and for work purposes.

He felt a smile once again, and didn't bother stopping it. He hoped that maybe it would help to reinforce that he appreciated her and everything she had done for him. She bowed her head and disappeared from the room.

Within another ten minutes, there was another knock at the door. It was a messenger from the hospital and they handed him a note before bowing and disappearing once more. He opened it and it was Sakura's handwriting with a floor and room number written on it. It was one of the elite rooms that was usually kept for top secret admissions and people under protection, but it seemed fitting for Sasuke to be placed there. Worry and concern rushed through him as he fretted whether his brother was severely injured, enough to be admitted at the least. He did realise that Hitori must have been at the hospital for her to know, and knew that she would tell him if anything was severely wrong, so he managed to keep somewhat calm.

Leaving the paperwork open and strewn across his desk, he closed his office door on his way out and headed straight to the hospital. On his walk there, he had absolutely no clue what he was going to do or say when he arrived. He was utterly terrified and he kept his hands balled into fists in his pockets to hide the fact that they were shaking. It took everything he had to keep his expression blank, but he kept his eyes down as he couldn't hide the inner turmoil from their depths.

He arrived in front of the hospital doors in what seemed like record time, but it was more likely that he was lost in thought. Taking a breath to steady himself, he went through the threshold and headed towards the stairs. Sakura spotted him on the way and waved him over, and they went into her office and sat down. She seemed just as surprised as he did, and her jaw was tightly set. It was almost as if she had seen a ghost. He hoped that it wasn't a medical issue that was causing her concern. The thought occurred to him that he probably had the same expression.

"He's okay. Just worn out." She answered his silent question, and he felt slightly relieved.

"Does he know...about me?" His tone was clearly hesitant, but he didn't worry about hiding it with Sakura. They were the only people aside from Naruto and Kakashi who were 'in' on this situation.

"He does. Not sure how he found out...I didn't think to ask."

Itachi nodded softly, but he clearly noticed how much Sakura was struggling. He felt the same. Vaguely he wondered where Naruto was, and again Sakura seemed to figure out exactly what he was thinking. Maybe it was the fact that they both had similar feelings towards Sasuke that they could figure it out.

"He's away on a mission with Kakashi. They won't be back until next week. Naruto will be pissed that he wasn't here when he arrived." She wasn't even looking at him, and was staring into her lap. "I'm not sure what he's thinking about regarding you, but he doesn't appear to be angry. Who knows though? He's always been good at lying…"

"Unfortunately, I think he learnt that from me." Itachi took a shaky breath and hung his head in shame.

"It's not your fault, Itachi. You sacrificed everything for Konoha. Sasuke was the one who threw himself into the fire. He spat on everything you did to keep him safe, all because he was selfish."

Her tone held restrained anger, but it also held worry. Clearly, she still cared about Sasuke, despite her anger. More than likely she was angry because she was worried and because Sasuke had hurt her pride. Since she had met Itachi, and heard directly from him what and happened and why, Sakura's view of him had changed completely. He respected her for it, as she was smart enough to accept a new point of view when previously unknown facts were placed before her. She had obviously gotten angrier at Sasuke about it all too, and Itachi knew that Sasuke hadn't stayed in the village long enough for them to really patch things up. Naruto as well. He felt bad that Sasuke's 'brother in arms' hadn't been here to see him. But it was time for them to sort things out. As Uchihas, as brothers, and as people.

"Thank you, Sakura." He took a deep breath in, and out before he stood up. "I'll go and speak to him."

"Okay," she said with a nod and gave him a forced smile for luck.

As terrified as he was, he knew that despite everything he had done, this moment would take more bravery than he had within him. For some reason, his mind flashed an image of Hitori smiling at him from earlier, in his office. He huffed to himself and left Sakura's office, and headed back towards the stairs on his earlier route. It surprised him, but Hitori's smile gave him courage he didn't realise he had. She had helped him to stop hating himself so much during the course of their friendship, and although he would never be free of it, he felt better every day. Sakura's reinforcement was appreciated as well, but if she couldn't get a read on Sasuke, then he doubted that he could. He hadn't seen his brother since he had 'attempted' to kill him, and that wasn't exactly a normal situation. Far from it, even in the shinobi world.

Before he knew it, he was at the correct door on the sixth floor. The number was 16, and most of the rooms on this floor were all the same. Huge, fancy and very secretive. There was guards on patrol constantly, and each room that had a guard on it held a patient. The guards were ANBU, and he knew that they wouldn't stop him. In fact, they all bowed and he identified who was who as he walked through. They were on a week to week rotation. Most of them took these sort of jobs if they were getting older, but didn't want to drop out of ANBU yet. Some of them were recovering from injury and hadn't been cleared for full duty yet. It was a perfect assignment that helped them continue receiving an income. Since it was practically impossible for anyone to get past the first floor security, it was also common for rookies to get this job too.

No one had been assigned to Sasuke's room yet, and the request from the hospital for a guard was probably sitting on his desk in HQ. He would have to go back and process it immediately after he had spoken to his brother. In fact, it would give him an out if he felt he needed it. Though he hoped he wouldn't need to use it, he was still going to keep it up his sleeve.

Sliding the door open took all the strength his body would allow him to use in his nervous state. His hand was visibly shaking as he pushed it open. Sasuke was laying on his bed, and Itachi almost fell over at the sight of him. He even used the hand that was still on the door to hold himself up. Itachi had an image in his mind of a gaunt, bruised and battered younger brother, but he was glad to see that wasn't the case. Thankfully, Sasuke did look rather healthy, just exhausted. Not even he knew what sort of mission Sasuke was on, and he hadn't pressed Tsunade for information when he had returned the village to be pardoned. He knew better than to push her if she said no.

Sasuke's hair had grown, and it covered part of his face, but he didn't look as skinny as he expected. His hands were above the covers, resting on his stomach with his fingers linked together and Itachi could see the signs of cuts on them. They were only red lines now, but they must have been fresh. His eyes were dark, no signs of Sharingan present in them. There were dark circles under them though, showing how tired he was.

When their eyes met, Itachi held his gaze evenly and shut the door behind him. There was a seat next to the bed, and he carefully strolled over and quietly sat down. He could feel himself wringing his hands in his lap, but he couldn't take his eyes off his brother. Now that he was closer, he was inspecting him as best he could to take in his physical state. He did look a bit skinny; there was still strong muscle present, but he clearly hadn't been eating regularly.

"I can hardly believe you're here." Sasuke spoke first, his voice low and cautious.

"Neither can I." His own voice sounded so similar, now that he could compare.

"When I found out, and I thought I had killed you…I..." A shaky breath was the end of his sentence and Sasuke blinked rapidly and looked to one side.

"You are so strong. I knew if you were strong enough to kill me, you would be safe once I died." Itachi was surprised at how calm he was, but he could argue that he was simply too shocked to feel anything.

"Sakura was hiding something when she talked to me about you. What is it?" Sasuke asked with glassy eyes, but they held conviction that was so typical of his little brother. There was no point in hiding it.

"I'm sick. I have been for years. Being back in Konoha and being treated by Tsunade and Sakura was all that has kept me alive." Sasuke's eyes went wide, but then he relaxed as if everything made sense.

"So you weren't dead. You were unconscious." He huffed sardonically and stared at the ceiling when Itachi nodded in confirmation. "I should have known."

"I didn't want you to. That was the whole point," he gave a half shrug as if the gesture helped. "I knew I was going to die, so I wanted to make sure that you would be okay once I was gone. I hoped that you would go back to Konoha. "

"When I learnt what you did, I didn't know that you were sick. I thought that you had let me kill you to relieve you of your guilt." Sasuke held eye contact with him, gauging his reaction but Itachi didn't bother composing himself. "Then I heard that you had been seen talking to the Kage during the war and then you disappeared. What happened?"

"When I passed out and Obito, whom you knew as Tobi, moved me to some strange cavern. But I woke up and I had managed to regain enough energy to escape after a while. I'm not sure how long I was there for. Once I escaped, I went straight to the front and gave as much information as I could to the Kage. Then I left, knowing that it would only be days until I was dead. Despite all that, I didn't die and I woke up in another compound that seemed to be occupied by Madara at some stage. I'm not sure if I was recaptured by him; I can't recall. But I got up and moved again. I didn't want to die in a place that he had infected." He didn't bother to hide the anger in his voice when he spoke about Madara. The man had completely disgusted him.

"I could hardly believe it when I heard you had resurfaced."

"How did you find out?"

"I ran into a Konoha runner on my way through a city nearby Amegakure. They told me that you had been appointed ANBU Commander, but they seemed to think that I already knew you were alive." His look and tone of voice made it obvious that he had not been aware at the time. "So I returned as quickly as I could."

Itachi nodded and sighed softly. They were at least making some progress. It wasn't exactly like they were pouring out their hearts and souls to each other, but that would take time. Itachi didn't exactly pour out such things to anyone, even to his estranged brother. He guessed that they might get to that point one day, but not just yet. It was something that he hoped for, but he knew it would take time and patience. He doubted that Sasuke was suddenly going to stay in the village more frequently, just for his sake either. And he wouldn't want that. If he was out doing missions, and keeping busy, then that was okay; so long as he was safe. Regardless, at least they were both here.

"Sasuke...I…" he took a breath that shook like a leaf in a hurricane. "I am sorry."

Although he wanted to apologise a thousand times, a thousand different ways, with a thousand different words, that was all he could muster. It was uncharacteristically simple; he prides himself on being much more eloquent and articulate. But he found he just couldn't bring the words to mind. Maybe simple was better in this situation anyway. Just getting his point across was good enough. So long as Sasuke understood just how much he was apologising for. For his part in the Uchiha clan's coup, for being in Akatsuki, for being sick and not being able to be there for him as he grew up. For every wrong that he had ever committed, even if he hadn't directly affected him. He wanted to apologise for not being the big brother he should have been, for not being someone Sasuke could aspire to be. For being a criminal, a murderer and a liar.

"So am I." Sasuke spoke as if he understood the gravity of his words.

"I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for everything and to be the brother I always wanted to be…" he trailed off, his initial confidence fizzling out, "If you'll allow me." His eyes dropped to his hands and he stayed silent, unsure of what else to say.

"So will I." Sasuke replied with confidence and Itachi felt himself smile and finally looked back up. Sasuke smirked as well as if he remembered something. "Sakura gave me quite a lecture once she admitted me."

"She did?" Itachi recalled what she had said to him in her office earlier, gathering that she had barked at Sasuke about it.

"Yeah…" he chuckled softly as if amused by an inside joke and Itachi smiled again, glad to see his brother could still laugh. "She told me that I wasted your efforts by leaving the village, and instead of appreciating your sacrifices, I spat on them."

He wasn't quite sure how to reply to that so he stayed silent. Although it was good to see Sasuke still had a sense of humour, he knew in his rational mind that Sakura wasn't wrong. It was hard for him to admit, but he did feel like Sasuke had thrown away everything that he had fought for. He had given up everything to save Konoha and to hope that Sasuke was strong enough to defend the village and himself, but it didn't work out that way. It had ripped his heart out to see his brother look at him with such hatred on the night of the massacre, but that hatred was what kept him alive. But Sasuke had let the hatred poison his mind, instead of strengthen it. Orochimaru's influence had no doubt helped that process; the curse seal would have made it worse. Although a part of Itachi wanted to scream and yell at his brother for being such a selfish fool, he just couldn't do it. Having him here in front of him dissipated most of the anger.

"She's right." Sasuke's expression had sobered and Itachi simply blinked in reply. "I didn't know the truth and I couldn't handle the reality I was living in."

"Sasuke…"

"I know now that I couldn't have been told the truth. If I knew, I wouldn't have been able to cope with you giving up everything for me. It would have hurt too much. I would have fought Konoha for making you do everything, and the Akatsuki to get you out of there, instead of join them." His mouth became a flat line, showing his regret at his actions.

"You did what you thought was right." Itachi tried to placate him, but he doubted it would help.

"No, I was selfish and blind. I had people here who were willing to fight with me, but I thought I could be stronger on my own." He looked off to one side, averting his eyes and his hair covered most of his face.

"It's alright. It's all over now." He didn't know what else to say, but maybe just focusing on the future was the best idea.

"I'm sorry, Itachi." Sasuke apologised just how Itachi had earlier.

"I think we could both apologise until we are blue in the face." He tried to joke and lighten the mood, and it actually worked. Sasuke smirked and huffed faintly and Itachi did the same.

There was a knock on the door and Sakura came in. She looked hesitant but she had brought an arm full of supplies so Itachi gathered that was his que to leave them be. Sasuke needed treatment and he needed to assign a guard to look after him, so it was a good chance for him to go and sort it out.

"Sorry to bother you guys. I've gotta get you hooked up to an IV." She looked at Sasuke and still seemed like she had seen a ghost; Itachi still felt the same.

"And I need to assign a guard to your door." Itachi stood up from his seat and moved it out of the way for Sakura.

"Will you come back when you're done?" Sasuke asked with a shy voice and Itachi couldn't have felt happier.

"I will, so long as you promise me you will rest." He raised an eyebrow and waited for his reply. He was beginning to feel like a big brother again.

"Yeah, I will." Sasuke smiled at him and his heart swelled happily.

"I'll be back shortly then." He nodded towards Sakura, who was smiling at their exchange as she set up the IV.

He could have ran to HQ and ran all the way back, but he figured that would be weird, so instead he power walked to his destination. Once he had arrived in his office, as he guessed, was the guard request memo. After he had summoned someone and sent them to the hospital, he made his way back there himself, lost in his thoughts upon the way. It had been good so far, although it was also strange to see his brother after such a long time. At least it was a step forward, Sasuke clearly didn't hate him, and he didn't hate Sasuke. He hadn't been sure how he would feel once he laid eyes on him. But he still felt terrified about how their relationship would continue. Hopefully they would stay on good terms and have a good bond once more. Even if they never became the brothers they once were, it was enough so long as Sasuke didn't hate him.

Once he had arrived back at the room, the guard nodded to him and stepped aside for him to enter. Sasuke was sound asleep inside and Sakura was buzzing around silently, preparing medicines and leaving things in the room for him. She smiled at him when he came in the door and handed him a book. She must have known that he was going to sit for a few hours and brought the book to keep him occupied. He took it with a quiet thank you and sat next to the bedside. Once she was finished her tasks, she gave him a wave and pointed down toward the floor. It was her way of saying she was downstairs if they needed anything. He was certain that she wanted nothing more than to sit there with them, but she was kind enough to give them their privacy.

Itachi stayed silent and buried his nose in the novel until it was dark outside and had been for several hours. He couldn't ignore the rumbling in his stomach any longer and decided that he would leave. Sasuke was still dead to the world asleep and he was glad that he was getting some rest. So he exited the room silently, and thanked the guard on his way out. Sakura was still in her office and he bid her goodbye and made sure to thank her for what she had done today. He was glad that she still cared about his foolish little brother. She would look after him to the best of her abilities, and he would be fully rested in no time with her skill. Once he arrived home, he was glad that he had put another serving of food aside the day before and quickly heated it and ate it heartily.

Across the hall, he could feel that Hitori was sleeping lightly from the feel of her chakra. She must have been worried the whole afternoon and he felt grateful to her. As he stood in the doorway to his bedroom, he wondered whether he should go and see her quickly. He wasn't sure if it was entirely appropriate but he hadn't minded too much when she had done it before. Again, the image of her smiling at him from earlier in the day came to him. Even though no one could see it, he shrugged and headed out his apartment door and towards Hitori's place. He felt a pang of uncertainty as he let himself in and went straight to her bedroom.

It wasn't too dark inside, and she rolled over to look at him. She laid her head back down with a smile he could only just see and he took it as an invitation when she shuffled across to make room for him. Carefully, he laid down next to her and made himself as comfortable as he could be. It surprised him when he began to relax just by being next to her, and his brain that had been running madly with thoughts started to go quiet.

Her arm stretched out toward him and landed on his stomach, and she patted it softly in a comforting sort of gesture. It was almost like how you would pet an animal as if she was being careful not to make him uncomfortable, but he smiled anyway. She was tired, but still trying to make him feel better.

"How did it go?" she asked with a drowsy voice.

"It went well, I think." he replied quietly, and knit his brow together in uncertainty, even though she couldn't see it.

She huffed softly. "I hope so. You okay?" Up until that point, she hadn't opened her eyes, but now they shone silver from the faint moonlight coming through her window.

"You gave me courage today." He placed his hand on top of her much smaller one, that was still sitting on his stomach. After a moment, he linked his fingers between hers.

"Me? How?" She was significantly more awake now, judging from her confused tone.

"I remembered what you said in my office earlier. I knew you would support me no matter what happened when I spoke to Sasuke." His admission seemed to surprise her, but she collected herself quickly and replied.

"Of course. You're my friend. Why wouldn't I help you? You have saved my life so I should probably have your back in return at least." Her confident tone was her way of hiding how shy she felt about what he had said, and he thought it was sweet that she felt touched by his words.

"We are friends. Thank you." He couldn't help but feel a slight twist in his chest, something unspoken that was confusing him, but he was far too worn out to linger on it.

"Let's get some sleep. Your chakra feels tired." She petted his stomach again, and snuggled back into her pillow once more, but kept her arm where it was.

"Goodnight Hitori." he smiled at her sleepy face before he closed his eyes.

"Goodnight Itachi."