River and Madeline sat at the large table while Kaylee cut pieces of the cake they had made. Madeline was staring longingly at the fragment of her violin that hung on the necklace. River lightly grasped her shoulder; Madeline looked up and let her head fall against River with a sigh. Kaylee balanced the plates on her arms and slid them down in front of the two girls. Madeline leaned forward to make sure it was safe before clumsily grasping a fork.
"Pity we don't have any cream," Kaylee sighed wistfully. Madeline looked up at her. River looked up too, but her focus was being pulled away. Kaylee smiled.
"Yeah, cream's really good with cake. You know my grand pappy, he loved cream. He'd put on a bit o' toast in the evening…"
Lights in the eyes don't mean a thing they blur…
River blinked; trying of focus on Kaylee's story.
"…with some blackberry jam. Then he'd get out this bowl and it was full o fluffy white…"
The lion's head watches and guards then turns on its master when the ring was lost the circus fell…
River pushed herself back from the table; her cake forgotten. Kaylee looked up as she grasped the frame.
"You okay River?" she asked worriedly. River managed a feeble smile.
"I'm just going to find Simon," she said quietly, fighting to keep her voice steady. Kaylee gave a concerned nod. Madeline looked questioningly up at her.
"You stay here mei-mei," River whispered to her gently. She nodded and focused back on Kaylee's story. River stumbled out of the kitchen, dropping her frame at strange angles in her unfocused state.
The light gets lost it only shine slightly the others take it out because all that is unique will leave in the shadow of other's army lights….
She carefully climbed down the stairs, forcing herself to watch them one foot at a time. She was relived to see Simon's back as she fumbled with her frame.
"Simon…" she called weakly to him; the other words were threatening to break through. The tripped her over, stopped her from functioning properly. Simon was running towards her. She reached out to him and he caught her arm. River held him for a moment, panting. Simon stroked her hair, whispering to her. River shook. Come now, she thought, just come out. She choked slightly, and the words poured out of her mouth like bile.
"The storm caught we couldn't fly getting battered, the wind was less than water that flows through the simplicity, they said it was simple they spoke pain free but the sounds were lies the hope was a cardboard box without any air when all you needed to do was breathe but that was too hard; better not to better to leave but determination what good was it? There was a sight in the window that led you astray in the sunset that carried the disappearance of dolphins into thin air with the feathered land flailing under the burns of speech and knowledge that was lava that flowed through your mind each foreign! But they opened it up let the ash rise and clear but the sapling never broke through."
River gasped and swallowed, sweating as though she had a fever. Simon still held her. She breathed for a few minutes but it was coming back; she could feel it burning her throat.
"Its…" she tried to warn Simon but her words caught. He continued to hold her.
"I know, mei-mei," he whispered. River whimpered as the words forced their way out of her mouth again.
"flip off and all, perfect ten lost you were the people on show empty and waiting for approval commands the hive the queen all swollen in the berth of the harbour where we all swum in the summer was left in the desert rains are the best thing for the land but they survive there anyway why can't you why don't they let you live in the centre of the universe know everything that's what they want then to control the forces deity is reached by these means no one would pray where would the hope be? Why is everything so quiet! Why is this stillness in the sheets when the gale is blowing right through?"
Simon patted her back. River sighed shakily and leant deeper into his arms. She breathed for a few moments to fully recover.
"Thankyou," she whispered. Simon hugged her.
"Anytime, River," he said gently, "it's still worse, isn't it?" River nodded.
"Maybe you still haven't quite gotten it all out from holding it in," he mused. River leant her head against him.
"Don't like it," she said in a small voice.
"I know," Simon said, "it'll get better. I'm sure it'll get better." River straightened up and nodded slightly. She looked up at him and managed a small smile. Simon laughed and kissed her head.
"That's my girl," he said proudly, "you go join Maddy and Kaylee. Tell Kaylee I said not to corrupt you too much." River looked at him quizzically.
"I've heard stories," he winked. River giggled. She gripped her frame and conquered the stairs, more confident with only her in her head.
Bedtime had been declared less than an hour before River woke to Madeline's crying. She looked around; the girl was no longer sleeping next to her. In the darkness River could just make out a dark shape in the corner as the source of the sobs. River slid herself onto the floor, hopping over to flick the light switch. Madeline was sitting in the corner, whimpering and gouging at the skin on her arms and legs. River went to her as quickly as possible on her injured leg and tried to hold her arms, But Madeline jerked them away. She was bleeding; River saw she held the fork she had been given to eat the cake.
"Mei-mei," River said loudly, "stop it, it's okay."
"It's lost," Madeline sobbed, thwarting River's attempts to seize her arms, "I have to find it, it's buried. I have to…"
"Maddy, please," River implored her. Madeline didn't seem to know she was there; she continued to scratch at herself with the fork. River fought with her, trying to wrench it from her grasp. Madeline gave the interruptions no thought except where River caught her hands. Then she'd yell and lash out, forcing River back. River felt helpless; her injured leg was limiting her capabilities immensely. Madeline was tearing herself to pieces before her eyes and she could do nothing about it.
"Simon!" she called for help before attempting to restrain Madeline again. Madeline moved her hands out of River's grasp with unbelievable speed. River sighed, glancing behind her in case Simon had heard her call. No light shone in the hallway. She stared helplessly back at Madeline.
"Kaylee?" she tried weakly. No response. River watched Madeline carefully, waiting until the girl was distracted before lunging at her and gripping the fork. Madeline yelled; trying to pull it back to her skin, but River held firm. Madeline kicked out; her foot made contact with River's chin but River refused to let go. Madeline pulled it back and forth. River winced; the movement was bending her knee at and odd angle.
"Maddy, stop it," she begged, "please mei-mei, don't do this to yourself." Madeline released the fork; and for a moment relief flooded through River and she thought she'd finally gotten through. But Madeline lapsed back again almost immediately; scratching her legs with the small fingers and leaving a trail of torn skin. River grasped her hands; Madeline pulled away.
"Simon!" River called again, she couldn't think of what to do. She watched Madeline digging so desperately at her skin and muttering. Then something hit her. River bit her lip; she didn't want to do it. But it was better than this. While Madeline was concentrating River leaned forward; lifted her head and pressed firmly on the scar in the centre of Madeline's head. Madeline jerked and yelled; she wriggled out from under River and scuttled into the corner, looking terrified. River slumped against the wall, she was exhausted. Madeline had covered her face in her hands; she peered up carefully at River, letting only her eyes could be seen over her knees. River crawled forward and grasped her hand.
"Wuo dway-nee boo woon, boo jen," she whispered carefully. Madeline blinked; she was crying silently.
"Dahng ran," she whimpered. River pulled her into a hug.
"I'm sorry, mei-mei," River squeezed Madeline's hand hopefully, "you had to stop. I didn't know what else to do." Madeline sniffed but leant more against River, seeming to accept her apology. Her wounds were still oozing slightly. River shifted the girl carefully.
"We need to stop these from bleeding," She said. Madeline nodded and stood, leaving River free to grip the bed and pull herself up. Madeline grasped her hand.
"I'm sorry too," she whispered. River smiled at her as she unfolded her walking frame.
"I know mei-mei."
River guided Madeline out; rapping on the door of Simon's room until she heard him stumbling around. He slid open the door, staring around blearily.
"River?" he mumbled, "what's wrong?"
"Maddy's bleeding," River muttered. Simon pulled on a shirt and lifted the girl into his arms.
"Let's go get you fixed up," he said gently. They walked slowly into the infirmary; some nightlights were shining pale in the dark. Simon sat Madeline down on the bed before flicking the other lights. River squinted and gingerly sat on the side bench. She watched Simon examine the deep lacerations on Madeline's body.
"How did this happen?" he asked, frowning.
"She had a fork," River muttered sheepishly. She held it out for Simon to examine.
"Fantastic," he muttered, "I'll have to give her a shot of antibiotics; who knows what may have gotten into her system on this."
Madeline seemed to realise she's done something wrong; she looked down at her feet shamefully.
"I'm sorry," she whispered again. Simon covered the wounds with a steri strip.
"It's not your fault," he sighed, giving her a sad smile. Madeline continued to look miserable.
"Why were you doing this?" Simon asked her kindly. Madeline glanced up, her eyes small and brow furrowed in confusion.
"You don't know?" Simon asked her. She shook her head. Simon's face fell in pity. He carefully patched up the worst gashes before giving her a small dose of medicine. Madeline watched him intently the whole time from behind her knees. When he was finished she reached up for a hug. He complied instantly, lifting her up and bouncing her slightly. She lay her head against his chest and shut her eyes. Simon watched her; amused.
"I'd better get you to bed," he smiled. Simon turned to ask River to come, but laughed silently when he saw her curled up asleep on the bench.
"Or we could just let you stay here," he shrugged. Madeline was already asleep in his arms.