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How It Takes A Village Should Have Ended

He wondered why he stood in front of Emily's hotel door. The anger pulsing in his gut was making him sick. His hands were shaking so hard he shoved them into his pockets. He stared at the number on the door, 304. It added up to seven, the supposed lucky number, but was it luck for him or for Emily. Maybe it wasn't lucky for either of them and that made his mouth go dry and his heart throw itself against his chest.

The door opened and he flinched as if struck. "Hi," Emily said as her dark eyes searched his face they way they had - no, he refused to think about that night. "Thanks for coming."

"I don't know why I'm here," he snapped and anger poured acid into his blood.

It was Emily's turn to flinch away, but she rallied and straightened her shoulders. "I know you're angry, but -"

"You have no idea how I feel. You've never known how I felt. You never cared. I don't know what I was thinking, letting you talk me into coming over here. I can't do this."

He turned and she grabbed his arm. He yanked away. "Don't touch me."

"I don't want to do this in the hallway of a god-damn hotel."

"What did you think I'd do, Emily? Jump at the chance to be alone with you again."

"I know you're angry but -"

"You have no idea how I feel. You're the one that played along with faking your death. You could have come to us for help."

Her eyes were wide and shocked, but he couldn't let sympathy for her cloud his heart, again.

"You know why I couldn't come to you for help. There was a little boy's life a stake."

A door opened and a man in a hotel robe with a drink in his hand glared out at them. "Do you mind?"

"Sorry," Emily said and she pulled on Reid's arm. "We were just talking."

"Shouting is more like it. Shut up or I'll call the front desk. Some of us are trying to relax."

"You're right, I'm sorry."

She smiled winningly at him, but the man just huffed and slammed his door.

"Please come inside, Spencer. I need to talk to you without half the world threatening to call security."

"Five minutes," Reid said and followed her into the room.

One lamp was on to the left of the bed. He couldn't see most of the room because it was in shadow, but he supposed it was the same as all the rooms they'd stayed in for work. The bed stood half in shadow and half in light and there was something standing behind it, which he couldn't quite make out.

"What?" He said. "Say what you have to say. I'm tired and I want to go home."

"I have to show you."

She went to the other side of the bed and bent over the thing standing in the shadows. She turned around and he saw the she held a bundle in her arms. His heart began to pound in his chest when she came back and he could see it was a baby.

"I - where, um, what is this?"

Emily had tears in her eyes, something he'd only seen once. She held the sleeping child out to him. "This is our daughter, Spencer."

She was holding the baby out to him, but he couldn't make his arms take the child. He stared down at the baby and saw himself reflected in her face. Her hair was wavy and the same color and he saw that she had his nose.

"I don't understand. You were hurt, Emily. You almost died."

"It was a miracle, Spencer. I don't know how to explain it. I only know she's here and I'm here. That has to count for something."

He looked at the baby, asleep in Emily's arms and she was beautiful. He felt as if he stepped into a dream.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She looked up at his angry and unhappy eyes. "I didn't know until I woke up in Bethesda and they told me I was pregnant. I almost called you right then and there."

"Why didn't you."

"Do you want to hold her?" She offered the baby to him.

"Emily."

She sat down on the bed and cuddled her little girl. The light of happiness in her eyes nearly made him reach out for the baby. Instead, he chose the chair near the wall and sat.

"I didn't call you because suddenly, it wasn't about me anymore. I had to protect the life within me. I couldn't let Ian know about her. I had to disappear. I wanted to call you so many times after she was born, but I was afraid. It wasn't just about you and me anymore."

Reid looked down at the baby, his daughter, and watched her sleep for a minute. He could feel Emily's eyes on him, but he didn't look up. He listened to the slight inhalations of the baby's breath and felt a smile begin at the corners of his mouth.

"I'd like to hold her," he said.

Emily nodded and handed their baby to him. He took her carefully and cradled her to his chest. "She's beautiful."

"Yeah, so beautiful, I can hardly bear it."

"What's her name?"

"Lily."

"Lily," he repeated like savoring something wonderful on his tongue.

"Yeah, she has your eyes and every time I look at your eyes they remind me of springtime and my favorite flower in spring is the lily."

"I love it."

He looked up at her and saw that there were fresh tear tracks on her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Spencer. I'm just starting to realize how much I hurt you."

"I can't say it's okay, Emily. It's not okay. It's not okay at all. You lied to me and you kept my child from me. That's not okay. I don't care if you were trying to protect us. You should have told the team. We could have helped you."

"I told you -"

The baby suddenly began to wiggle in his arms and cry. "Um, you better take her."

He handed off the baby to Emily even though it hurt his heart, but the little girl was crying and he couldn't deal with it.

"Look," he said. "I should go."

"We need to talk, Spencer."

"I can't, not right now."

"Alright, I understand, I just wanted you to know about Lily."

The baby wailed in Emily's arms. "Spencer, she's hungry. I want to talk to you, though. "

"No, I said I can't do this. I'm leaving."

"Please tell me you'll call me. I -"

"Don't say it."

"Then please call me for the sake of Lily."

"Don't use her to manipulate me."

He couldn't take his eyes off the crying baby until Emily began to shift her blouse.

"I really have to go."

He jumped to his feet and hurried out the door. He ignored her calling out to him. His head was reeling and his eyes were getting hot and teary. It wasn't enough that Emily was back and alive, now he had a child. He leaned back against the door to her room. He turned and looked at the room number again. No, it wasn't lucky that Emily lied to him. Was it lucky that Lily came out of one night of desperate passion?

He walked away to the elevator and as he walked, he wondered what to do next.