Chapter 26

Thirty years ago...

"Naomi, we're going to be late!" Sam called.

He knew she wasn't looking forward to this and he had almost cancelled, but it was being done for him, for Charlie, too, and they really should be there.

"Come on, Mommy! There's going to be water balloons!" Tim called.

He was simply excited. He hadn't made the connection between Sam being gone and this party. Besides, with Sam away so often in the last couple of months, Tim didn't seem to worry about whether he was there or not. Sam tried to convince himself that this was a good thing, that it was better that Tim not think about it than it would be if he worried.

At the same time, though, it was hard to realize that his own son had lost enough of that connection to not miss his dad.

The door opened and, to Sam's relief, Naomi looked fine. She had been struggling this week, what with Sam finding out about her pregnancy and the knowledge that he was going to be leaving. Still, right now, she just seemed happy about the party. They had chosen to keep the pregnancy a secret for now since they had lost so many already. Tim didn't even know yet. Naomi couldn't tolerate the congratulations or the concern.

"Are you ready?" Sam asked, smiling, but trying to ask it sincerely.

Naomi nodded, even as Tim ran over and grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the front door.

"Billy told me that they had water balloons! Come on!"

"We'll be there on time, Tim," Naomi said. "Calm down."

Still, Tim didn't let his excitement ebb one little bit as they left the house and headed for the party.

When they arrived, Sam and Naomi were inundated with people coming over to say hi, to welcome them, then wish Sam luck, all with the semi-forced jollity of people who knew that this was serious business but were trying not to think about it too much.

At least, the adults were that way. Tim ran off with the other kids and the water balloons would have started instantly except that Billy's mom, Katie, made him wait until after they'd eaten. A kids table had been set up and an adults table. Everyone got their meals and, with a weather eye on the kids, making sure that nothing went seriously awry, the conversation got a little serious. Not fully, but the questions started.

"When are you shipping out, Sam?"

"Tomorrow."

"Do you have any idea how long you'll be gone?"

"Probably about a month," Sam said, with the confident tone that didn't allow for any kind of questions about whether or not he'd make it back at all.

"How's Tim taking it?"

"Oh, it isn't really real for Tim yet," Naomi said. "He knows that Sam is leaving, but I don't know that he's realized that it's for a long time rather than just a regular work day."

Sam didn't bother saying that his regular work days had led to times when he didn't see Tim awake for days at a time. Naomi didn't bring it up, either. They just acknowledged the nods of people who had similar experiences.

The meal was simple and, about halfway through, Charlie arrived with his usual declaration.

"The life of the party is here!"

Sam rolled his eyes a little.

"Well, the life of the party almost missed the party, Charlie," he said. "Come and eat before all the food is gone."

Charlie just laughed and filled his plate with food. Sam made room for him to sit. Charlie showed no sign of discomfort. He loved being the center of attention, and this party was for the both of them.

Once the food was mostly consumed, Katie gave permission for the kids to start playing with the water balloons. However, she gave a stern warning that, if any balloon hit an adult, that would not only be the end of the water balloons, but it would be the end of a lot of things.

With the delighted screams of kids playing in the water going on in the background, Sam helped clean up the leftovers while chatting with some of the others there, including Charlie.

"So, guys, are you really ready to go?"

Charlie nodded. "Ready and rarin', Todd."

"You haven't talked about it at all, Sam. Is it that big?"

Sam just shrugged nonchalantly. He knew that Charlie wanted to play up how dangerous it was and how exciting it could be, but he just wanted to get in, get out, and get on with his life. He had never realized just how much he stood to lose until this mission.

"They're all big in special ops. You know the drill. All classified."

"Yeah, I know," Todd said. "Katie and I will keep an eye on Naomi and Tim while you're gone."

Sam nodded. "Thanks. I really appreciate that."

"And what will we do without all your bombastic entrances, Charlie?" Todd asked, grinning to dispel the more serious tone.

Sam chuckled. "You'll have a little less noise at your cookouts."

"Oh, come on, now," Charlie protested. "I am far from the loudest guy here."

Right at that moment, Tim got hit with a water balloon, right in the small of his back, and shrieked. They all looked at each other and laughed.

"I believe that was your son, Sam?" Charlie said.

"Well, you're the loudest guy over the age of ten."

Charlie chuckled. "Guilty as charged. Gotta live it up while you can. There's that one poem you recited once. I remember it was about seizing life or something."

"Which one?" Sam asked.

"Something about rosebuds? I don't know. You're the guy with all the words in your head that you can't stop sharing."

"'Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.'"

"Yeah, that one! Gotta have fun while you can."

"Do you know what that poem is called?"

"Nope."

"It's by Robert Herrick. 'To the Virgins, to make much of time.'"

"Virgins?"

"Yep. The last stanza is appropriate for you, I think, Charlie."

"Hey! I'm no virgin!"

Sam grinned and recited the end.

"'Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may, go marry:
For having lost but once your prime,
You may for ever tarry.'"

Todd burst out laughing, while Charlie, for once, looked just a bit embarrassed. Sam didn't rub it in, but the laughter did attract the attention of others who joined them and the conversation moved on to football and whether the Navy would beat the Army in the Army-Navy game that year.

Then, while they were comparing teams, Charlie suddenly nudged Sam.

"Sam...Naomi's crying," he said in a low voice.

Sam turned around and his smile faded. He handed his glass to Charlie and walked over to where Katie was sitting with her arm around Naomi's shoulders. He vaguely noticed that Cynthia had her camera out, but he didn't care about pictures. This was more important.

"Katie?" he asked.

"The door's open, Sam," she said and gestured for them to go inside.

Sam walked Naomi into the house and sat down beside her on the couch.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Naomi said, softly. "It just all hit me. All at once."

"It's all right."

"I can't keep doing this, Sam. It's too much."

"I know," Sam said. He hesitated. He wasn't sure if he wanted to give her false hope because, for all he knew, he would change his mind once the mission was over, would find a reason to keep doing it, but if his feelings stayed the same, he'd be more than happy to agree with her.

Naomi hugged him tightly, and he thought about the baby they now knew she was carrying. Did he have the right to risk his life like this when he knew how much he had waiting for him at home, how hard it was for Naomi to watch him leave time after time? He didn't have to do these missions that were so much more dangerous than the other duties he'd had in the Navy.

"I can't keep doing it, either," he said, finally.

Naomi pulled back from him.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Sam nodded.

"I don't want you giving up on all your dreams because I'm overly emotional right now," she said, sounding more like herself.

"I've been thinking about this for weeks, Naomi," he said. "With all the work I've been doing, all the preparations...I'm afraid that I'm going to turn into my father. A good man but so distant that I might as well not be a father. I don't want that for Tim...and I don't want it for myself. There has to be something else I can do that will allow me to spend more time with you and Tim."

"If you mean it..."

"I do."

"Then, we'll figure it out...when you get back."

"Yeah. When."

He kissed her gently on the cheek and then they got up and rejoined the party. If the others had noticed Naomi's breakdown, they understood the reason, even if they didn't know all of it. The party went on.

Tim hadn't even noticed.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Present...

Gibbs looked up as Faith walked out of Legal with the McGees. There was something about her stance that told him she was not happy, but her interactions with the McGees were completely respectful, so it wasn't about them. She walked with them to the elevator, but she did not get on with them. Instead, as soon as the doors closed, she turned around and walked back to Gibbs.

"I need to speak with you, Agent Gibbs," she said, her voice sounding rather irritated. "Right now. In private."

"Yes, ma'am," he said.

Then, she turned around.

"You may as well come, too, Agent DiNozzo," she bit out.

"O-kay," Tony said and got to his feet.

They walked together to the elevator and waited for it to arrive after the McGees had left. However, once they were on, it was Faith who stopped it, not Gibbs. She didn't even give him a chance to ask any questions. She rounded on him, setting her briefcase down with a practiced and emphatic click. Gibbs couldn't help noticing that it was perfectly aligned with the walls of the elevator.

"You asked me to put everything on the line, Agent Gibbs," she said, angrily. "Everything. This is not just me putting my career on the line. This could be my life as well if the threats continue. How dare you keep me in the dark about vital parts of this case!"

"What are you talking about, Captain?" Tony asked, clearly surprised by her fury.

She looked at both of them, but it was clear that her anger was mostly directed at Gibbs.

"When were you going to tell me that Agent McGee has gone rogue in an attempt to get his father off the hook for these charges? When were you going to tell me that, in addition to having people upset about a JAG lawyer being actively involved in Dr. McGee's defense, there was a man who is going to step on who knows how many toes and break who knows how many laws because he's decided to go off the grid? This is something I should have known from day one! It is no longer day one. It is now more like day seven, and I will not accept being blindsided by information like this if you expect me to continue doing this job."

Gibbs suppressed a grimace. He should have thought about the McGees mentioning what was happening with Tim, even in the most general way. Normally, he would have expected them to be more cautious, but he had to admit that Faith had been chosen at his instigation and so they probably had felt safe admitting to Tim's absence.

"We're trying to find him," Gibbs said.

"That's not good enough, Agent Gibbs," Faith said. "I don't care what you're trying to do. I care that you deliberately kept me in the dark while asking me to go well beyond what most lawyers would even consider. You either trust me all the way and I'll do this or don't trust me at all and I walk. I will not accept this halfway crap."

There was a moment of silence, and then, to Gibbs' surprise, Tony stepped in.

"Maybe you're right and we should have told you from the beginning," Tony said, "but we've been trying to keep this as quiet as possible...for McGee's sake. We don't want him to suffer for what's happening with his dad. If we had known what he was going to do, we would have stopped him, but we didn't know until after he'd already gone."

Faith took a deep breath and Gibbs judged that her anger was tempered just a little.

"What do you want to know?"

"How much has he done already?"

"We don't know, but we do know that he's already been searching through NCIS files," Gibbs said.

"And, officially, he's still employed here," Tony added.

"His parents said that he quit."

"He did," Gibbs said, "but Vance is treating it as a mistake."

"So, legally, he's done nothing wrong beyond miss a few days of work without getting leave."

Tony shrugged. "Well, that might be going a little far. He probably won't be stopping at using NCIS resources."

"Understood. Is there anything else I should know?"

"Probably, but we don't know it, either," Tony said.

"Are you sure of that?"

"As sure as we can be," Gibbs said.

"Fine. I'll accept that, but I'm warning you, Gibbs. If I find that you're keeping information from me again, I'm out."

Then, she turned around and flipped the switch on the elevator. When the doors opened, she stepped off and then turned back.

"Check your house for bugs. Both of you. I'll do the same in my office."

Then, she turned once more and walked away.

"I think she means it, Boss," Tony said.

"Yeah, she does."

"You didn't tell her about Ducky."

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because you never know who might be listening. Even here."

Tony looked out of the building, following Faith's progress.

"Looks like we'll get some rain here, soon," he said. "Those are some pretty dark clouds."

Gibbs only grunted, so they went back up to the bullpen and got back to work.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim dove to the floor and covered his head as the roof began to cave in right where he was standing. The creak brought one large beam down, along with a large amount of smaller debris. The beam landed right next to his head, but it didn't hit him. Tim lay where he was for a few minutes, feeling his clothes getting soaked from the rain now absolutely pouring into the shack.

As he lay there, he just prayed that nothing else would fall, that he'd find that he was just fine. He kept his eyes closed for a few seconds and then, when nothing else happened, opened them and took a deep breath when he saw how close the beam was to his head. He'd been spared by a matter of inches.

"Wow," he said, swallowing hard.

Carefully, he inched his way out from underneath the beam and tried to avoid the rest of the debris that had fallen down with it.

Overall, he had been very fortunate not to have been injured or even killed by that collapse.

Sitting on the floor, he started shaking from the adrenaline rush. He breathed heavily and tried to calm down. After a few minutes, he started searching for his flashlight. It was really getting dark and he didn't want to be without it. His hands were still shaking as he reached out to retrieve it from the floor.

Looking around the shack, he decided that he'd feel a lot better if he retreated to the car. Sure, a tree could fall on the car, too, but he felt like the old, heavy steel body of the car would be more resistant to crumpling than the already-collapsed roof of the shack.

Decision made, he got to his feet and made his way out of the shack. Once he got to the car, he climbed into the back seat, pulled off the poncho, wrapped up in his damp blanket and lay down on the seat.

He was still shaking a little bit. Every crash of thunder and every creak in the trees made him jump. In the end, he covered his head with the blanket and prayed for the best.

For the moment, he wasn't thinking about being alone. He wasn't thinking about hacking. He wasn't even thinking about his father. He was just hoping that he didn't have a tree fall on his head.

Eventually, his heart calmed as the storm eased off to just a heavy rain and he fell asleep.