... Chapter 26 …..

Beth squinted against the faint scatterings of light that had woken her up, inanely wondering how it had managed to get past the thick layer of dust that coated the boarded up windows. Pressing her palms to her eyes, she supposed that it didn't much matter. While its presence told her that it was some time during the day, its dreary hue was also an unfortunate reminder of the heavy grey clouds that still lingered oppressively over the house.

She lay there for a moment and listened for the rain that usually accompanied it only to hear nothing. Having lived in the south her whole life, she knew that was likely only temporary. The weather they were having was just indicative of how the wet seasons went in Georgia. The entire area would be inundated for weeks on end... maybe even longer as the storms rolled through in waves. Each front would be punctuated by feeble bouts of sunshine and the reprieves between them were usually just a precursor to the next torrential downpour right behind it.

Languidly stretching the thought away, Beth rolled onto her side only to freeze when she saw that Daryl was in her bed with her. Her breath hitched as she stared at him, thoroughly confused as to why he was there. He was in the process of waking up himself and hadn't yet looked over to notice that she had as well. He yawned from under the arm thrown over his face and looked for all intents and purposes to be quite content to be there.

Unable to look away, Beth searched her memory for any conversation that could explain his unexplainable presence. It had been a few days since they had both been awake at the same time so the recollections of things said and done had become convoluted. Applying the effort needed to focus her sleep addled thoughts, she was finally able to remember him being left in his own room, fighting off the remnants of a fever that seemed to have developed immediately from his injuries. He hadn't woken up at all as it raged through his system leaving her to take care of him without him ever knowing it.

After he had kissed her, she had cleaned up the bathroom only to tiredly decide that her dirty clothes could wait. From there she had crawled into bed, falling asleep almost instantly. Although she was exhausted, she had still managed to hear Daryl groan in pain from the other room. The low guttural noise induced by his wounds had echoed across the narrow hallway between their rooms and her eyes had flown open at the sound, having never heard it before. Upon hearing him moan again, she had pushed herself out of her bed to go make sure that he was alright.

It was sometime early morning and she remembered being surprised that so much time had passed since they had been in the bathroom. There had been a faint gloominess filtering in to Daryl's room and she used what little light it provided to take a closer look at him. It's dimness revealed that his eyes were still closed and he was sweating profusely, neither being a good sign. Unable to see much other than that, she had lit several candles at his side to replace the ones that had burned out long ago.

She placed a palm gently on his forehead only to find it hot and clammy despite the chill that lingered in the small room. Worrying at her bottom lip, the realization had made her nervous. Although her father had taught how to suture any wound that needed it, he had stubbornly insisted that she stay away from anyone retaining a fever. A highly intuitive man, Hershel's fear of an epidemic contagion had later proved itself to be disastrously prophetic when a mysterious disease had run rampant through the prisons close quarters. Its origins had remained unknown but it had managed to kill a lot of people, the fever precursoring its symptoms seeming to take almost as many lives as the affliction itself.

Hoping that wasn't what Daryl had, she had checked the condition of his bandages, peeling back his covers to find that he had sweated through his sheets to the mattress beneath him. Upon seeing it, her already pounding heart had begun throbbing noisily in her ears. Unsure of what to do now that her worst fears had been proven, she had fetched the bucket of cold rainwater she had thankfully thought to replace in the bathroom. The whole time she had racked her brain in an attempt to figure out what she had missed... something she hadn't seen… an open wound on his legs perhaps.

There hadn't been any rips in his pants that would indicate an injuries being there so she hadn't felt the need to address it. At the time she had been relieved. It had been embarrassing enough to ask him to take his shirt off, she couldn't imagine the rash of hell he would've given her if she'd told him his pants had to go as well.

Coming back into his room, she had quickly seen that she needn't had worried about it. At some point during the night Daryl had kicked himself free of their hindrance on his own. The searing heat radiating from his body must have demanding it and she remembered thinking something was seriously wrong when he, of all people, would disregard one of the most important rules of survival, one that had been drilled into all of them since the very beginning - always be ready to run. Knowing it herself, she had slept in her damp clothes despite how dirty they were and how personally uncomfortable it had been.

Seeing Daryl's pants laying in a heap on the floor next to his boots had somehow made her even more scared than she already was. Much like when she had seen her father cry, she couldn't help but feel as though the more responsible one of the two of them was faltering.

After checking him over for any wounds she might have missed, she had spent the rest of the morning dipping a towel into the bucket of cold water and pressing it to his heated skin. Daryl had lain there pallidly under her ministrations, his breathing was swallow and stilted. She remembered how frightening it had been seeing him in such a way. Practically larger than life, the man seemed to walk through the world like he owned it. For having never met anyone else so custom built for surviving the hellish existence they all dwelled in, it had been almost more than she could bare to see him laid so low.

Sniffling, Beth had purposely refused to further think about what it would mean to her if anything happened to him for fear of actually crying. With her chest feeling like it was tight and constricted, she had to keep reminding herself to pull an even breath. The fact that she'd been so incredibly tired hadn't helped matters any. She remembered struggling to keep herself from blowing things ridiculously out of proportion, her mind trying to run away with itself with thoughts of him dying and having to be buried in the very cemetery that lay outside his window.

With Daryl still sleeping and herself not feeling comfortable enough to do so until his fever broke, she had sat at his side and mended his jacket using the same needle and thread she had sewn him up with the day before. It was the only thing she could think to do in an effort to preoccupy her mind and keep herself from worrying. When she hadn't been pressing the damp towel to his sweltering forehead, she meticulously patched each hole, one by one.

Inevitably, the water in the bucket had gotten progressively warmer as it drew the heat from his skin. While she had another collecting rainwater on the front porch steps to replace it with, she hadn't been looking forward to actually going out into the torrential rain and getting it.

Dipping the towel in one more time, she wrung the excess out and turned around only to find Daryl's heated gaze staring right at her. She paused, more relieved than she could say. Since most of the others had never woken after the heat had scorched through their systems, Beth considered the fact that he had to be a conclusive sign that he didn't have whatever it was that they had. Swallowing heavily, she had pressed the towel to his forehead, using its damp weight to push his hair from his eyes.

''Hey...'' She had managed to whisper.

Almost immediately, his brows had drawn in confusion and he began struggling to find his bearings as the weight of the fever pressed down upon him, wrecking havoc on his body and mind. With a groan, he had tried to push himself out of the bed, paying no heed as she pushed against him in to keep him where he lay. Being weaker than he thought, Daryl seemed confounded when she actually managed to do so, the implausible feat only making him somehow more distraught and disorientated.

''Don't.'' She rushed to say, ''You're hurt and you have a fever but you're going to be ok…''

Daryl being Daryl, of course he ignored her as he continued to fight the rest that he so desperately needed. It had only taken a moment before he began shivering from the attempt, his breathing quickly becoming labored and listless in his chest. She had placed a soothing hand on his stubble lined jaw and the small gesture was enough to effectively make him stop in his tracks.

''Daryl, listen to me…'' She had said as calmly as she could manage, ''Go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise… Shhhh, just go to sleep.''

His eyes glossy, he had slumped back down on the damp pillow, seemingly taking her word for it as he proceeded to pass out again almost immediately. Beth recalled expelling a huge sigh of relief, distinctly remembering being glad not to have to resort to sitting on the stubborn mans chest in order to keep him laying in the bed.

With Daryl out again, she had gone outside to change out the buckets of water. The storm blanketing the area hadn't abated much overnight and the thin clothes she'd been wearing provided minimal protection against it as she had carefully opened the door. Going outside only long enough to grab the full container from the porch step and replace it with the empty one, she had ran back inside to the foyer, shivering helplessly as the rain immediately soaked through her clothes yet again.

She had looked down at the puddle she was creating on the hard wood floor, feeling very tired of being a cold and wet mess.

Setting the sloshing bucket in the bathroom, she returned to Daryl's side and had dared to feel his forehead again. While it had been still tacky, the heat that had taken root there earlier had subsided significantly. Considering it a turning point, the overwhelming fatigue that she had been staving off since coming to his room came rushing back all of a sudden, draining her completely of the last of her energy.

With his pants still laying on the floor and her own clothes plastered uncomfortably to her skin, she had mustered her last reserve to wash all of them quickly before allowing herself to go to bed. Back in the bathroom, she had gingerly peeled her jeans down her legs, dropping them to land in a soggy heap. Her dirty t-shirt and bra had followed, joining the wet denim on the floor. Instantly shivering for not having their cold weight pressing against her skin, she had used half of the water in the bucket to wash everything they had, a leftover bottle of shampoo serving as detergent. While hanging the items over the shower rod, she had justified her decision by not wanting to make herself as sick as Daryl was by attempting to sleep in cold wet clothes for the second time in a row.

She had literally crawled into bed from there, too damn tired to care anymore that she was only in her underwear. Her ankle was throbbing and Daryl was so out of it that he would be none the wiser anyway. At least this way, their clothes would be clean and dry by the time they were both ready to wear them again.

Feeling convinced that her last ditch effort was worth it, Beth had buried herself under her covers and had instantly fallen asleep. As much as she wanted to tell herself that it was due to the overwhelming exhaustion she had been laboring under since the moment she had seen Daryl emerging from the rain, deep down she knew the truth. It was because she cared about him, more than she wanted to admit even to herself, and he was finally showing signs of getting better.

As long as he was, that was all she cared about.

…..

Back in the present, Beth lay next to Daryl in her bed, feeling a lot better for having the events of the last few days fall back into place. With a much better grasp on what had occurred, she stared at his profile, still not quite believing that he was there. After his fever had broken she had gotten up several times to check on him, increasingly relieved with each trip to find that his temperature was evening out. In the time it had taken for it to do so, his pants had dried and she distinctly remembered laying them at the end of his bed so he would see them easily. After setting the new clothes she had picked out for him at the store on the chair in his room, she had placed his knife and cigarettes on his side table, just in case he happened to wake up before she did.

Her own clothes had still been slightly damp so she had left them where they hung, put on a clean tank top and had gone back to bed, still quite content to sleep the rest of her life away like she had never slept before. Beth had been in the process of doing just that when the dim light inundating the room had played across her closed eyelids, slowly encouraging her to wake up. When she had, there he was… laying in her bed next to her like he'd been there the whole time.

As if finally sensing that she was awake, Daryl's head lilted over, his clear gaze meeting hers for the first time in what felt like forever.

''Hey.'' He said quietly, his voice low on the air.

Beth felt her heart begin to pound against her ribs. With the color back in his chiseled face and the stubble darkly defining his jaw, she was so relieved to see him looking like his normal self that she decided that she didn't care why he was there, she was just glad that he was.

Tucking her pillow comfortably under her chin, she regarded him for a moment before asking equally as quietly, ''How are you feeling?''

Slumped against the beds headrest, he thought about it for a moment before shrugging slightly. ''A'right, I guess. Feelin' like I'm hungover… still sore as hell. Christ, how long was I out of it for?''

Having just wondering the exact same thing herself, Beth could only answer, ''A while. I figured it best to let you sleep.''

Daryl picked up the edge of the new flannel he was wearing, seemingly confused by its presence. ''This you?''

Noticing that the shirt hung open over his chest, Beth just nodded and dragged her eyes up from the expanse of defined skin it showed. Daryl pulled a deep breath and finally getting to the reason why he was there to begin with.

''What tha hell happened after I left tha bathroom? Last thing I remember doin' was crashin' hard… but this mornin', I don't know… I'm feelin' out of it… like I missed somethin'…''

He seemed genuinely at a loss so Beth told him about the fever that had held him in its grips for longer than she would've liked. As she did, she made sure to leave out the fact that she had been worried about him to the point of tears. There was nothing gained by having him aware of such a thing. Instead she explained the situation as simply as she could, in as few words as possible. It was done and there was no need to expand upon it unnecessarily. Daryl wasn't the kind of person that would appreciate hearing how he had been incapacitated and at her mercy without his knowledge anyway.

When she was finished, he dragged his hand down his face, obviously having a hard time coming to terms with what he'd been told. It was clear that he didn't remember any of it. Looking over to where she lay next to him, the corner of his mouth rose. ''I ain't sure I'm liking tha fact that you're steppin' up to tha plate an' takin' over my job of saving tha day all of a sudden.''

Beth smiled, unable to help herself. ''Someone around here has to do it. Wouldn't have to be me if a certain guy… I ain't saying no names or anything, wouldn't feel the need to go falling into strange ravines he shouldn't be traipsing around to begin with. I mean, I would've thought you'd had enough of doing that at the farm.''

Knowing that she was referring to the time her fathers horse had tossed him into one when he had taken the animal without permission, he smirked and said, ''Yeah, well… at least ya didn't feel tha need ta shoot me in tha head after tha fact so thanks for that.''

''You're welcome.'' Beth managed to say, suddenly realizing out of the blue that she had never shared her bed with a man before. Why that fact had decided to make itself known at this point in the conversation, she had no idea.

Glancing over to the streams of light weakly filtering through the slats at the window, Daryl settled himself back on his pillow, seeming to take comfort in the silence of the moment before uttering, ''Stopped rainin'... least for tha time being. Figured I'd go back an' get whatever bolts I can salvage while there's a lull between storms.''

Beth's brows drew. While she knew it was his nature to want to go do such a thing, she couldn't help but feel that it was in his best interest not to push his recovery too far. ''Maybe you should wait… I mean, at least until you've healed a little bit more. Aren't you tired?''

Daryl gave a single shrug, indicating that he was but didn't want to go so far as to actually say so out loud.

''Then lets just go back to sleep. I'm still really tired too.'' Beth paused, hoping that her insistence didn't come off as forward as it sounded. ''Anyway, it's not like I can go with you, my clothes aren't dry.''

Daryl glanced down to where the thin strap of her tank top had fallen from the soft curve of her shoulder and sighed, ''Yeah, I can see that… an' that's tha reason why I ain't stayin' in here with you.''

''Why not? I trust you.''

''Well… don't trust myself.'' He muttered, meaning it. When Beth's confusion lingered in her eyes longer than he seemed to prefer, he explained himself further, making sure to keep his tone calm and even as he did so. ''What I said to ya before? It ain't changed. Jus' regret tha way I said it is all. You an' me? We're playin' a dangerous game here. Ya may not know it… but I do.''

The conversation having suddenly turned serious, Beth hugged her pillow a little closer. ''I don't think it's a game.''

''Ya know what I mean. If this thing goin' on between us continues, it'll end badly for one or both of us.'' Entrusting that she would understand, he shook his head ruefully. ''I can't have that.''

He really meant it. Beth could feel her heart constrict in her chest at the notion. Propping herself up on her elbows, she found herself asserting, ''It's no way to live being scared of living Daryl. I don't want to live my life that way… do you?''

Sitting up, Daryl swung his legs over the side of the bed. Pulling a deep breath, he looked over his shoulder at her. ''Don't know what I want. I ain't never had ta explain myself ta anyone before. Jus' know that I ain't the right choice for you… an' you… well, you ain't somethin' that would be good for me neither.''

She swallowed her trepidation before asking, ''Is it because of what you said? Because I'm a virgin? Because… that's something that could be easily rectified…''

''Christ Beth, don't say shit like that!'' Daryl groaned, pressing his palms to his eyes in exasperation. ''I ain't kidding. That's tha last fuckin' thing I need right now, that thought running 'round in my head!''

''Well, what then? Is it my age? Because if it is, there's not much…''

''It ain't none tha above, a'right?'' Daryl interrupted, his tone sharper than it needed to be for having to do so. ''I done told ya there ain't a goddamn single thing about ya that doesn't make me want ya an' I meant it.''

When he saw she was staring at him as if waiting for him to explain himself further, Daryl turned on the bed to face her.

''It's more than that… an' I ain't expectin' ya to understand. It ain't got nothin' ta do with you. It's me an' ya daddy's voice ringing in my ear tellin' me ta take care of his youngest. It's tha look Maggie will give me when we catch up ta the rest of 'em an' have ta explain ourselves. It's the fact that nothings gonna change that I'm an emotionally stunted asshole that could never be what you deserve an' when this…'' He circled his finger between them from where they both were on the bed, ''whatever this thing is that's goin' on between us? When it blows up in our faces, you're gonna end up hatin' me for it. I ain't built for what ya askin' of me an' I ain't pretending I have it in me ta give ya what you should be expectin' from… well, from someone who'd be ya first.''

Beth regarded him for a moment, her breath lodged in her throat. Time dragged out long enough to where Daryl dropped his gaze from hers uncomfortably, having lain it plainly on the line. Upon seeing him do so, she said quietly, ''You know what I think? I think you're just scared. Scared to take a chance on me, on other people… on life in general. Everyone else has disappointed you so why should I be any different, right?''

Daryl stood up sharply. ''What do you know? You think ya know me an' maybe right now you do, probably more so than most, but don't go thinkin' for a second ya know tha shit I've gone through.'' His face was serious as he continued, ''My life ain't never held no surprises. It didn't before tha turn an' it sure as hell didn't after it neither! Who is it ya think you see when ya look at me, huh? Some fuckin' boyfriend you'd be proud ta bring home for Sunday dinner? That ain't who I am an' that ain't tha world we're livin' in!''

Taken aback by the intensity in his voice, Beth sat up, dragging up the covers with her as she said just as seriously, ''I know that! I'm not stupid! And you're right - I don't know what you've gone through or what kind of person you used to be… I just know who you are now! So you can try to hide behind your brother and your bitterness and your low expectations for anyone that dares to get close to you all you want… but you're too late, I've already seen it! I saw what you did for Sophia… what you did for everyone at the prison and most importantly, what you've done for me. So, stand there and make yourself out to be the worst person in the world if that's what makes you feel better, but that will never be what I see when I look at you!''

Breathing heavier for the weight of the words spoken, Beth meant every word of it. She couldn't help but feel as though they were at a crossroads, one where both paths led to the point of no return. All she was asking of him was to open himself up to the possibility of something more developing between them, not to get married and live happily ever after! She'd be lying if she said she didn't feel better for saying what she had said to him though, having wanted to say it for a while now… usually when he indulged his inclinations was to assume the worst about himself, as he was doing right now.

Daryl ran a hand down his face resignedly, apparently arriving at the conclusion that she wasn't going to just accept his bullshit at face value. ''I ain't done none of those things so I can come off as some kinda fuckin' hero, so don't try an' paint me as one. All them things ya said? That's jus' me trying ta survive livin' in this shithole an' that's all!''

''I am too!'' Beth asserted, her hand at her chest. ''Only difference is that I'm at least willing to try and actually live while I'm doing it! That's all I'm saying to you. I don't care what my sister would think, I guarantee you she's out there somewhere doing the same thing. And my dad? He would trust me to make my own decisions.''

Although Daryl was looking at her skeptically, she took it as an encouraging sign that at least he was still listening. He sat back down on the edge of the bed about as far away from her as he could manage, the same dubious look in his eyes that she had seen from him when the two of them had been alone in his room after his nightmare. He had been full of doubt and unwilling to make the necessary move on his own then and again now, Beth could see their grey depths challenging her to somehow convince him that he deserved the chance she was offering.

Beth's fingers entangled in the blanket as she continued, unknowingly putting it all on the line herself. ''Maybe you're right, maybe I'm not ready for everything that could come with taking things further between us, but that won't always be the case. I'm not naïve, I've just never felt anything like this before and it's exciting… and nerve racking… and I… I just know that I like it when I'm near you and I'm being honest enough to admit it. I want you to kiss me… and since you're stuck with me for the unforeseeable future anyway, won't you at least consider it?''

Daryl regarded her thoughtfully as he weighed the consequences of what she was asking of him. Beth sat there self consciously while he did so, not quite believing she had practically begged the man to make out with her. What else could she do? He was ridiculously hard headed when it came to the decisions he chose to set in stone and this might be the only chance she got to persuade him to do otherwise. Besides, it wasn't like she was offering her virginity to him on a gilded pillow, she just wanted him to be aware that if something like that were to happen, she'd be agreeable to him being the one that took it.

With an indiscernible sigh, he pushed himself from the bed and headed for the door. Feeling like she had rocks in her stomach, Beth watched him as he went, kind of wishing in hindsight that she hadn't been so forward when presenting her argument.

''A'right.'' He said, turning to face her. ''I'll consider it.''

Having expected him to predictably not budge, Beth was thrilled. Figuring it best not to let him see that though, she shrugged indifferently as though it made no difference to her one way or the other. ''Fine. You do that.''

Although her features were completely schooled to neutral, the ruse was hard to maintain when he was standing in her doorway looking so ruggedly appealing. With the worry he had put her through now a thing of the past, everything about him spoke to her more so than usual, the sporadic trickles of sunlight filtering through the windows casting him in the faintest of glows.

The corner of his mouth tilting up, he made the point of adding, ''Jus' so we're clear, it's kissing only. I ain't been doin' nothin' but proving myself ta be a bullshit liar when it comes ta doin' that anyways.''

After Beth nodded in agreeance Daryl indicated towards her pillow with a drop of his head. ''Go back ta sleep if ya tired. I'm gonna go get my bolts an' scout out the area while tha rains stopped long enough for me ta do so. I'll get rid of them bodies outside when I get back. If for some reason anythin' happens while I'm gone, go back ta that ravine and I'll find ya there. I mean it, ya hear? Don't be tryin' nothin' that'll make me come back here an' spank ya for it.''

Beth's eyes widened, the sexually charged attempt at humor coming from a least likely of sources. Momentarily at a loss for words, she finally managed to sputter, ''Um, I think… that would be considered outside of the realm of just kissing…''

''It would be… but don't think for a second that I won't do it.'' He drawled, the glint in his eye clearly seen past the hair that hung in his face. ''Seriously though, if anything happens, jus' get ya ass outta here and I'll meet ya there. I won't be gone long.''

Having just won her battle, Beth figured it best not to push for the entire war. ''Ok.''

Leaving her where she lay, Daryl disappeared into the darkness of the house. It wasn't until she heard the front door lock behind him that she allowed herself to fall back asleep. With him gone, there wasn't much reason to not do so.

As her eyes closed, Beth replayed their conversation in her mind and smiled to herself. Although Daryl's terms had applied to kissing only, it didn't necessarily mean that everything else was off the table. She considered it a start, a mutual agreement between the two of them that allowed them to explore this new aspect of their relationship without misgivings. After all, that was all that they needed, just for one of them to open the door. Without the others resistance, there were so many things could come from it, allowing anything to be a possibility.

….

Comments and reviews are appreciated as always :)