Can I just say I caught a wicked case of RL? Thank Chuck Norris for Spring Break. Whew. SHQ

005. Boyfights.


A Ninja's Rules for Fighting And Stuff

(by Umino Iruka)

1) Don't fight unless you have to. Mom said fighting should always be a last resort, so I guess you should always avoid it if you can.

2) You have to fight to protect the people you love. Even if it's something big and scary, and you're not sure what to do… you have to try!

3) Ninjas never cry. You can't ever cry. If you do, that means you lost.

4) But sometimes… it's okay. The Third Hokage himself said so, and he's always right!

5) You shouldn't fight with a kid living at the same shelter as you. Unless he started it.

6) Never underestimate your opponents. Especially if they're taller than you.

7) If you're in a fight, be stronger than the other guy.

8) If you can't be stronger, be faster.

9) If you can't be faster, be smarter.

10) If you still can't win… prank their ass.

11) When it comes to that Kakashi jerk, just skip straight to the pranking part.

-Or-

You drag them both in by their ears.

Your silence is worse than anything you could say; it shows in their eyes. They glare at the ground, stubbornly holding back tears. One has several long scratches running down his arms. The other has a violet bruise flowering under his left eye. Their clothes are filthy.

Quietly, you clean the scratches and press ice to the bruise. One stares defiantly at the floor. One fiddles with his bandages.

"What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"He started it!"

"I did n-"

"I didn't ask who started it," you interrupt.

Tight silence.

"Look at each other."

They do so with painstaking slowness.

"Now," you begin, "I don't expect either of you to be perfect. You'll fight. I know this. Sometimes because you're angry, sometimes because you're scared, sometimes because you're lonely or sad… Sometimes it's just what boys do."

You pause.

A familiar presence nudges at your awareness. Briefly, you glance toward the window.

"But," you continue, "The moment you start fighting against each other instead of for each other, everything you do here becomes pointless."

They fidget. You sigh.

"I want 500 words on mission protocol by tomorrow morning. At least 300 should focus on teamwork. And write it together. Dismissed."

They dash out of the room with the kind of energy you sorely wish you had. Absently rubbing your scar, you lean against your desk and glance out the window.

"Quelling rivalries, are we?" quips Kakashi.

Part of you is annoyed that he managed to break the class wards so easily, but most of you is busy appreciating the strong hands rubbing gently at your shoulders.

"Not quelling," you mutter, closing your eyes with a sigh. "Just… adjusting."

"Is that right?" he drawls.

You can hear the smirk in his voice.

"When a boy fights," you say quietly, "He is moved by selfish reasons- anger, fear, sadness. When a man fights… he is moved by love. They need to learn that."

Kakashi pauses, then laughs. His hands slide down from your shoulders and slip around your waist, holding you close.

"Those brats are lucky, sensei," he chuckles, pressing a clothed kiss to your neck. "But I think I might be luckier."

You are not at war with a deck of cards. -SHQ