Thank you so, so much to those that reviewed last chapter, I'm glad you're enjoying this story and also to the follows/favourites. I know I say it every time but I really do mean it. So there is more glimpses to Nathan's past in this chapter and it'll all eventually add up to tell the full story in the coming chapters. Also a flashback used in here that is linked with one I used briefly in chapter 9 , I had the whole thing wrote out but it didn't really fit in that chapter at the time so it actually worked nicely in here. Anyway enough talk and on with the reading :)...
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Everything was slowly coming back to him as the struggle to keep his eyelids open was finally ceasing. They were beginning to open with ease once again as he made out the blurry haze of his familiar surroundings. There were loud disturbing voices penetrating throughout his eardrums that he couldn't block out. They seemed to be demanding all his attention even though the ever unpleasant pain coursed its way down his arm.
He shifted slightly from where he was laying on his side not exactly sure how he got there hoping his movement would ease the dead pain that coursed through him. But it did nothing of the sort. He wanted to move, to get up, and to run but it felt impossible. He wasn't sure how long he was down there until he heard an almighty slam followed by hastened footsteps across the wooden floor, the force of every step hammering this disturbing situation to its very core.
"Nathan…" His father's hands were on him in an instant pulling him from his sideward position rolling him to his back.
The movement was haste, rough but he expected no less. Dan had always been like that, even in situations such as this he was sure his father didn't have the sense to know how to act because he never allowed himself to feel like the bad guy. To feel bad, to care. Even thought this was all his fault. He could hear his voice calling him again and it brought him out of his trauma induced haze. He wasn't sure if there was worry, a pleading sound to his voice or if he really was so out of it he was imagining things. Because his father never worried. Maybe things really had got this bad and it wasn't just some fucked up dream.
"Nathan.." Dan urged him on feeling his heart hammering in his chest. It wasn't supposed to come to this, they weren't supposed to come after him. It wasn't Nathan's fault Dan hadn't complied with his side of the deal. He had never meant for things to get this out of hand.
"Dad…" Nathan said hoarsely, the phlegm lodged in his throat from his unconscious haze making it difficult to speak. He had to say something, anything to stop his father's hands shaking him like he was. His stomach clenched tightly, he felt like he was going to be sick and he just wanted Dan as far away from him as possible. He didn't want his hands on him. Not after this.
"Nathan…can you hear me?" Dan questioned hastily noticing his son coming around.
"You…" Nathan started wincing slighty as he tried to lift himself up only it seemed impossible. He was too weak. "You...did…..this." He said in angry breaths as he tried his best to stop his stomach from heaving, squeezing his eyes closed…the feeling to empty his stomach contents becoming more powerful than ever. He wasn't sure he would even be able to get up to do it at this stage.
"Son.." Dan reached down in an attempt to pick him up and at least put him in a more comfortable place so he could figure out what he needed to do.
"Don.t…" Nathan spat out.
"Don't call me that."
Ladies and Gentlemen as we have have commenced our final descent into Tree Hill N.C. would you kindly return to your seat, fasten your seat belts and return your seat to the fully upright position and ensure that your tables are stowed.
Nathan was quickly shaken from his thoughts surprised the journey had gone so fast. Had it really gone that quick coming over, mind you he couldn't even remember much of the journey here. It's like his mind had blocked it out, he didn't want to remember it, how he was feeling after leaving Haley. But things were good now. Things were different. He shouldn't have to worry but he was all the same.
Andy had given him the all clear a week ago, he was on The Wests tracks and they had gone up to Charlotte two days ago. Andy said they still had colleagues back in Tree Hill but they were of no danger to Nathan. It was under control. Andy had it under control. It was the truth. He kept telling himself that yet he just couldn't shake off the nagging feeling. He couldn't even pinpoint what that feeling was but it just didn't feel right. Maybe it was the nerves with being back in Tree Hill, he didn't know…he just hoped things would change in time for the wedding.
Why was he thinking about Dan of all people? He couldn't understand it, it's not like he wanted to go back and relive that night, he hadn't done that for a long time. He refused too yet the whole way here on the plane he couldn't get it out of his head. It taunted him. The memory bringing about a fresh resonance of pain in its wake. It was like Dan's way of getting inside his head even when Andy had things under control. As though he was coming so close to that moment of escape only to be dragged back down by the past. Why couldn't he let it go?
This is our life now Nathan. Your my son. Nothing is going to change that.
They were his last words to him the day he left Charlotte a whole year ago. And the very words that hadn't left his head all through this flight. Dan was wrong. Nathan wished he had said it, maybe if he had his father would never have come back to Tree Hill looking for him bringing him in on this. His trouble. Our Life..Nathan thought bitterly. It wasn't their life, it was Dan's. He was just trapped in it and he was going to get out if it was his last wish on earth. He had to get out.
Please ensure all personal items and articles of hand luggage are stored securely in the overhead lockers or under the seat in front of you and that no items are obstructing the exits. After landing please remain seated with seat-belts fastened until the aircraft has come to a halt at the gate and the captain has switched off the seat-belt signs.
Nathan shook his head chastising himself for even thinking about Dan again. This weekend was about the wedding. He was coming home for Keith and Karen. To be with his real family; the people that mattered. To be with Haley. God he couldn't wait to see her again, to allow her to lift this weight. Because being around her did just that, lifted everything else off, it didn't matter. He had no time for it. Being away from her gave him too much time to visit that dark place within his mind and he hated it there. It didn't come as a surprise that Dan came along with that territory. He didn't want Haley to see him like this, full of vengeance, this immense anger for his father. He knew it wasn't healthy, it wasn't right but he couldn't help it. He just had to control it, harbour it. Keep it for that one person. Dan. No one else should ever have to see it.
Nathan willed his thoughts of Dan away as he closed his eyes and rested his head back against the seat his mind flooding with the memory of the last time he seen her.
"Promise you'll visit again." Sophie drawled as she tugged on Haley's jean pants. Haley smirked bending down and bringing the little girl in for a hug. "Of course I will." She smiled. "And I promise I'll bring Mr. Waffles next time." She could hear Nathan chucking above her at that and she quickly sent him a playful glare.
"Yay..Chester can't wait to meet him." Sophie grinned widely.
"Ok come on Soph Haley's got a plane to catch." Lauren prodded taking the little girls hand before pulling Haley in for a quick hug.
"Thanks so much for letting me stay."
"You're more than welcome anytime." Lauren smiled as they pulled away. "I'll be out in the car." She signalled to Nathan before leaving with Sophie in tow giving them a moment's peace.
The two were left alone then. Nathan glanced across at Haley as she put a strand of hair behind her ear nervously and bit down on her lip. He shook his head before turning to face her and pulling her into him without notice. It only took a couple of seconds before her arms wrapped tightly around him also. He rubbed his hands gently up the small of her back if possible trying to pull her in closer to him out of desperation. But he knew it wouldn't help to cease the inevitable, she had to leave and once again he was not going to be with her.
He held her close neither saying anything for several moments. He brought his hand through her hair and gave her a light kiss from where her head was resting against his shoulder. "Promise me you won't worry." He said softly to her.
Haley immediately pulled back so she could glance back at him. "You know I can't do that." She said honestly.
Nathan stared deeply into those brown eyes, he knew it was too much to ask. It was in her nature to worry and care for others but he just wanted her to put herself first for a change. "I just want you to focus on yourself Hales and your family, you've had a lot going on with Jake and everything..I'm sure he misses you."
Haley sighed softly at that. "I wouldn't say so, mum saying he's gone a bit AWOL since the accident."
"Well if anyone can make it work you can." Nathan said resting his hands on her waist.
Haley nodded not so sure if it was as easy this time, she missed her brother, things had become so distant of late. And maybe her going away hadn't helped matters but she hoped giving him some space would allow him to open up to her when she got back. She hadn't a proper conversation with him since the accident and a lot had changed since then. A lot.
Nathan could tell Haley was deep in thought, he hated seeing the worry evade her emotions like this. He didn't want her to feel this way. It was enough for him to be bogged down with it but he didn't want her to be too. "Hey…" He prodded gently breaking her out of her thoughts.
Haley snapped up hearing his soft husky voice. She said no more instead pulling him into her again feeling his body mould against her small frame, clasping around it. Nothing felt better. "I'm going to miss you so much." She admitted her voice muffled by his shirt.
Nathan closed his eyes as she held him against her his stomach tightening at her words. None of this seemed fair. Why could they never just be happy like other couples their age. Like Lucas and Brooke?..Why had it to be so complicated. "Things are going to be different this time." He said repeating his words from last night and he meant it, everything would be different this time. No more lies, no more hiding.
"I know." Haley murmured. But it still didn't make this easier. "You better answer your phone Nathan Scott." She joked trying to lighten the intensity of this situation. It was dragging them down, the thought of it all weighing heavy on their shoulders.
Nathan chuckled lightly as he pulled back. "I'll tape it my ear so it'll be on at all times….that good enough for you James?" He teased back sarcastically laughing further as she narrowed her eyes at him.
Haley playfully smacked him. "Ugh you're still an annoying jerk."
"And you're still a bossy b…"
"Do not finish that sentence mister if you know what's good for you." Haley said in a teasing manner.
Nathan just laughed before leaning his lips down grazing them against hers…"You're still the bossy bitch that I love."
"Hmm…you better." Haley said not able to resist the closeness of their breaths much longer as she brought her arms around his neck pulling his mouth towards hers each groaning simultaneously as their tongues finally touched and slid against each other both in complete peace and content. Their once slow, soft kissing quickly built up intensity as their breathing intake became shorter each so wound up in the feeling of the others mouth; the hot moistness emitting this overwhelming need to quench the burning desire awakening within their bodies.
Eventually and reluctantly Nathan pulled away panting heavily as he rested his head down on her shoulder. Haley the same gasping for breath wasn't so sure why he had pulled away and put his head down like that. "You alright?" She questioned between breaths not really wanting to pull away at all, time wasn't exactly on their side.
"Yea.." Nathan said catching his breath before lifting his head up catch her gaze. "I just….I don't know how you do that." He admitted as he looked deep into her eyes trying to figure out how he could go from being so in control of himself and his surroundings one minute to completely powerless with what he felt and what was happening to him the next.
Haley looked back quite shocked by the intensity of the gaze he was giving her and opened her mouth to question him just when the loud speaker decided to cut through signalling it was time for her to go through to departures. She stood there frozen not really knowing what to say quite annoyed at the woman who had cut through on her time. She wasn't ready. Not now, not like this.
She hadn't even realised Nathan had pulled her close towards him again until she heard his voice and felt his warm breath fanning out across her ear.
"Two weeks." Nathan said as he kissed down her neck ever so softly before pulling back. Haley nodded, if she was honest two weeks wasn't all that bad, she would be busy in Tree Hill preparing for the wedding…it would go by in no time. It was Nathan she was worried about, he was the one still here hiding out while they tried to track down The Wests. He was the one in danger. He was the one that she didn't want to leave alone.
Nathan could see the concern evident across her features. "Haley I'm alright…I'm fine." He tried to reason just wishing she would quit her worrying. It would do them both no good.
Haley sighed inwardly not wanting to call him out on it but she couldn't help it all the same. "We both know that's not entirely true." She said softly looking into his clear blue eyes.
Nathan swallowed hard at her words not even bothering to argue with her on this because she was right. In fact as far as right went she hit the nail on the head and she always did. The announcer called up again and Nathan knew he had no choice but to let her go now or else they could stay back and over like this for hours.
"We're both going to be alright." Nathan said barely above a whisper giving her a chaste kiss before pulling away and detaching himself from her completely. If he didn't now he never would. He gave her a small smile as he walked backwards from where she was standing waiting to watch her go. Haley nodded her head at his words smiling back at him as she made her hand into the phone sign and held it up to her mouth playfully letting him know she wouldn't let up on the phone joke mouthing the words "I'll call you" over to him. Nathan laughed back albeit forced as he watched her turn and walk away from him not entirely sure in what circumstance he would see her again.
20 minutes later Nathan found himself wondering through arrivals his holdall bag slumped over one shoulder. He couldn't wait to get home and just rest; the flight having not provided much opportunity for that. He just needed to switch off but he knew that wasn't really possible till he saw her.
"Nate…" A familiar voice shouted. He turned around at that and pulled his brother in for a manly hug and pat on the back.
"You put more peroxide in your hair Luke…it's looking a little white." Nathan joked as they pulled back.
Lucas just shook his head surprised with himself that he actually missed his brother's joking taunts. "It's good to have you back little brother." He said honestly.
Nathan nodded his head letting out a small breath shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers. "Feels good to be home."
"Let's get going then." Lucas said as they started making their way out. "Keith's at home…bag of nerves didn't even trust him to drive."
Nathan scoffed. "Come on."
"I'm serious…I've never seen him this nervous, it's quite funny actually."
Nathan chucked at the thought. "God help him tomorrow."
"I was saying the same thing." Lucas muttered as he opened the trunk. "Maybe a few drinks tonight will take the edge off." Lucas implied.
Nathan slipped his bag in banging it down before hopping into the passenger seat. "It might make him worse." Nathan laughed. "So it's just us guys then."
"Yea well you know how they joined their hen and stag night.." Lucas said and noticed Nathan flinch at the mention of that night. Remembering what went down he quickly berated himself. "Sorry man I forgot.."
"Don't worry about it Luke." Nathan said. "It's not like we can't talk about it."
"I know." Lucas said. "I just think we should enjoy this weekend, the rest can wait."
"Sounds good to me." Nathan said. "Anyway this weekend is about Keith."
Lucas nodded smiling to himself. "Don't tell him that…he' be even more nervous."
"Is that even possible?" Nathan joked.
"Well as I was saying seen as they joined their parties,,,we decided they had to stick to the rules on the wedding night."
When Nathan didn't respond further Lucas glanced over and noticed him staring out the window just watching everything go by. He hesitated for a moment before finally speaking. "You miss her?"
Of anything he thought his brother would ask he didn't think it would be so direct. He should have known though, Lucas was definitely not one to walk on egg-shells around him. He was always direct, straight to the point. It was a good thing, frustrating at times but at least you always knew where you stood with him.
"Yea.." Nathan sighed. "I think I'll go see her later."
"I kind of thought you would." Lucas offered. "I'm glad you have her Nate, Haley's a really great person…a little annoying at times." Lucas joked which got a laugh out of his brother. "But she's amazing."
"Were you surprised she came to Boston?" Nathan questioned turning his gaze from the window to Lucas.
"Yes and no I guess." Lucas admitted. "I mean I was surprised at first..I didn't think things were so serious between you two but then again this is like something Haley would do, she cares about you a lot you know…I didn't realise that till you left."
Nathan swallowed hard at the thought of that. "I'm sorry you had to lie to her Luke." Nathan knew how hard that had been on him. Haley was his best friend long before Nathan came into their lives. He never wanted to come between them.
"It wasn't your fault."
"I know but…"
"You know I can see it now." Lucas interrupted not allowing Nathan to retaliate further.
"What?" Nathan questioned not really sure what his brother was on about.
"You two." Lucas supplied simply.
"What about us?" Nathan quizzed. What was he going on about? So much for Lucas getting to the point he thought ironically.
"Brooke was right." Lucas replied giving Nathan a knowing look.
Nathan wanted to prod him further on it but decided to let it slide. Going into the ins and outs of his and Haley's relationship was not something he really wanted to engage in right now, he needed to relax a bit and deep conversations like this would do nothing of sort. Especially when it wasn't his area of expertise anyway. He heard his brother chuckling quietly to himself and he glanced over at him strangely.
Lucas noticed Nathan's perplexed gaze and tried to reign his laughter in. "I'm sorry….just thinking about it isn't it kind of funny?...I mean you two were such asses to each other."
Despite not wanting to talk about this further Nathan couldn't help but laugh along with Lucas. "Yea I guess we were.."
"You guess….seriously Nate….there was all the movie nights we had to practically kick one of you out for arguing with each other when we were trying to watch the film, the trip to Cape Park.."
"God I forgot about that." Nathan interrupted shaking his head.
"The time we hit the car into the tree and we were stuck on the highway."
"I significantly remember you guys high towing it off for help and leaving us there."
"Yea because ye caused it….it was punishment, we thought you'd work out your differences." Lucas reasoned. Nathan smirking beside him as he thought about it...
"I can't believe this…the nerve of them!" Haley shouted rubbing her hands across her face as she sat up on the bumper of the car which had swerved into a gravel path off the road.
"The nerve of them?" Nathan retorted. "This is all your fault, hell if you had just all let us play decent music none of this crap would have happened."
Haley scoffed and then started smiling when she noticed how ratty Nathan had become. He had found the situation so funny seconds before and he had wound her up about it because she was so angry. "Not laughing now are you." She quipped back.
"Shut up Haley." Nathan blew her off as he went around to the trunk of the car.
Haley scoffed at his rudeness. "You know it funny how you put this on me when you're the one that reached over to change the station from the back of the car."
"Well if you had just changed it from the front that wouldn't have happened would it sweetheart?" Nathan sarcastically replied popping his head up from where he was going through stuff in the boot.
"Jackass." Haley muttered under breath. "No one else was complaining and they never have done when we've gone on road trips without you may I add."
"That's because they're all too afraid to stand up to the Queen Haley James, she might stab them with her crown." Nathan muttered sarcastically as he continued rummaging through the back.
"Will you cut that crap already..You don't know me!" Haley hastily replied. What had it been, 2 weeks since she met him?
"No I don't thankfully…but I know your type." Nathan said simply.
"Sorry but I don't play by the rules of high school." Haley bit back sarcastically. "So whatever you think my type is your wrong.." God he was so infuriating.
Nathan scoffed at that coming away from the boot of the car and leaning against the bumper to get a good look at her. "You don't play by the rules of high school….seriously…you've been judging me since I got here."
"Yea well you make that pretty easy." So what she thought maybe she had been judging him, maybe it wasn't fair to judge him but he walked around like he enjoyed that opinion he gave off about himself. He wanted it.
"Well that makes two of us." Nathan quipped.
"Excuse me.." Haley said hopping of the bumper. "If I remember correctly I was nice to you the first night I met you…you're the one that acted like an ass and just leered at me."
"Come on Haley…don't give me that, I could see you were looking down at me from the moment you met me."
Haley wrung her hands through her hair. "Oh my god…you're just so stubborn…you won't even say it.."
"Say what." Nathan huffed annoyed at her prissy attitude.
"That I'm right.."
Nathan scoffed. "What because you're always right is that it? Sorry but I'm not going to feed your already pretentious attitude."
"Stop twisting my words. I didn't say that." Haley retorted back fed up, all they were doing was going back and forth as always. No outcome. She never felt so frustrated in her life, Nathan Scott just brought it out of her. How he was related to Lucas she'd never understand.
"You didn't have too." Nathan muttered incoherently under his breath.
"Your obviously not used to not getting what you want."
"What the hells that supposed to mean?" Nathan said getting defensive.
Haley watched him in surprise noticing she'd hit on to something there. "What?..I mean you hate me because I didn't beg for your attention at the party and then again today with the stereo you threw a big hissy fit just because I wouldn't change the station…"
"You don't know what you're talking about." Nathan said wishing she would just drop this topic of conversation already. Obviously it wasn't getting them anywhere only more worked up.
"Whatever." Haley said flicking him off as she went to sit down underneath the tree beside the car. Before sitting she called back to him. "You know Peyton lost her mother as well but it doesn't make going around being a jerk ok….I don't care what Lucas or any of them say, I'm not making excuses for you."
Nathan was stunned to silence at her words. That was the last thing he expected to come out of her mouth. He didn't even realise Haley knew about his mother, the funeral had been in Tree Hill over a year ago before he left his father to move there. Obviously she knew a lot more than he thought. He could feel his heart thumping against his chest at her words, like it always did when someone mentioned his mother. The pain hitting him once again as clear as day. He didn't even know how to feel about the fact that she brought it up right here….he was angry, that was for sure but a part of him didn't want to be angry at her because she was right. And he actually respected her words, none of it, whatever happened with Dan or his mother made being a jerk the right thing to do. Of course it didn't. Being a jerk was just easier, that way he couldn't get hurt anymore because he'd let no one close enough. There was always the fear when they learned about his past they'd push him away anyway. So what was the point?...But, how could he tell her that?
Haley noticed Nathan a bit taken aback by her words and felt the guilt rising in her chest. She was angry and it just came out, it was the truth but she knew it wasn't right to just throw it out like that. She didn't know what to say now…a sort of awkward silence had fallen between them.
Nathan cleared his throat before turning and going back around to the boot of the car. It's not like he had anything to say to her now after that. His thoughts were solely on his mom and the past again. He was doing so well blocking it out since he came here and just like that it hit him again. He didn't know what it was but every time he got close to that girl it seemed harder and harder to pursue his tough exterior and she didn't even realise she was doing it.
Haley watched him leaving before shrugging to herself and sitting down below the tree. Leaning back against the bark she let out a heavy breath wondering where the hell the rest of them got too. It was the heat of the day now and she just wanted to be back in the air conditioned car. Feeling her forehead sweating slightly she peered into her bag and grabbed the bottled water grateful she had taken her own. The ice she had put it in last night had helped keep it cool though she knew it wouldn't last much longer.
Seconds later Nathan came round to the front running his hands up his sweaty bangs sighing in frustration. She stared at him for a few moments appreciating the view and quickly chastised herself. It's not like she could deny he was hot, his ego just didn't need any more feeding and she certainly wasn't going to be the one to supply it. "There's no beer, no food…nothing." Nathan said frustrated as he leaned against the front bumper to Haley's right. "This is ridiculous!"
"We were stopping to pick it up in the next town." Haley muttered.
"Is that information supposed to make me feel better?" Nathan said sarcastically.
"I'm just telling you what the plan was….god, what is your problem?" Haley bit back exasperated with his mood, it's not like he was the only one stuck out here in the sweating heat.
Nathan sighed inwardly knowing he was coming on a little too harsh, he knew Haley and she could be a lot worse with him if she wanted to, yet she was choosing to make this situation a little easier for the both of them so the least he could do is cooperate. "You're right…I'm sorry." Nathan said as he went over to sit down beside her drawing one knee up close to his chest as the other leg panned out across the grass.
"Ok either I'm getting sun stroke or you are…did you just apologise to me?" Haley teased albeit questioning him again to make sure she actually heard right. "And you just said I was right." She laughed thinking back to what they were arguing about earlier.
Despite his previous anger Nathan smiled, of course she was going to have a field day with this one. "Well I'm kind of dehydrated and you do have a battle of water so.." Nathan shrugged glancing over at her smirking at how tweaked her expression had become.
Haley scoffed and then smiled slyly which wasn't a good thing as far as Nathan was concerned.
"Only if you say the accident was your fault." Haley teased
Nathan scoffed. She was still thinking about that. "Wow you are stubborn."
"I could add in Sorry Haley I think your amazing and I never should have knocked off your music because I love it really."
Nathan laughed this time. "Funny aren't you." When he was met with a defiant glare he looked at her wide-eyed. "You're serious?"
"I could add on more." Haley prodded as she unscrewed the cap off the water bottle. "Hmm…so good."
Nathan shook his head at her. "Unbelievable." He muttered to himself.
"Just say the words Scott!"
"You're being ridiculous."
"No I'm not you are making a big deal of nothing…if you had said it a few moments ago this water would be yours." Haley teased. "Besides it's a win-win, you get the water and we will have sorted it out like the guys wanted us too."
Nathan couldn't help but laugh at her, she had really thought a lot about this. "You're strange you know that…"
"I'd prefer quirky…..weird even." Haley pondered as she rested back against the branch again.
"Ok the accident was my fault and I'm sorry….can I've some water now?" Nathan said not even looking over to see her reaction at his words.
"There was more.." Haley mused.
"Haley.." Nathan exasperated.
"I'm only joking." Haley said as she tossed the water at him. "Here."
"Thanks." Nathan said not even calling her out on her joking manner which wasn't usually used with him because the need to quench the thirst and dryness of his throat was too strong.
"Ah…that feels good." Nathan said as he gulped down another mouthful. "What's taking them so long anyway?"
"I don't know." Haley shrugged. "Next towns a good bit out, think they were going to go look for the nearest garage or something."
Nathan smirked at that. "Or maybe this was their plan…they knew if they left us here long enough we'd likely kill each other." Nathan joked.
"Little harsh don't ya think.." Haley mused.
"Well we did kind of ruin the whole trip."
"Correction you did." Haley said patting him on the arm.
"We really going to go there again.." Nathan retorted. "And I thought we were making progress."
Haley just laughed at that as she shuffled down against the trees and closed her eyes to get some rest, Nathan soon followed.
"Remember we found you asleep by the trees." Lucas said laughing at the memory.
Nathan shifted from his thoughts immediately. "How could I forget…Haley thought I was practically trying to force myself on her just because I fell asleep on her lap."
"That was so funny."
"Not for me it wasn't….she threatened me with a scissors."
"That's our Haley for yea."
"Yea." Nathan agreed smiling to himself. She sure was feisty but at the same time the most endearing and compassionate person he'd ever met.
"We've all come a long way since then." Lucas said.
Nathan nodded. They had and they also had a long way to go. At least he wasn't pushing Haley out anymore, things might be difficult right now but he also had a lot of good things going for him. And he wasn't willing to lose them for anything.
XXXXXXXXXX
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"It looks beautiful." Brooke said as she walked into the white tented area and glanced around the room.
Haley stooped down off the stool from where she was rearranging the flowers to admire their work. "We've done well Davis."
"Yea we sure have, they're going to love it."
"It's weird not having Peyt around." Haley commented.
"Yea." Brooke said sighing. "Miss her bad music I guess."
Haley laughed. Peyton had gone away for a week to spend some time with her father. Well it was that among other things as far as Haley knew, not that she could blame her…Jake wasn't exactly himself at the moment.
"How are things between her and Jake anyway?" Brooke wondered.
Haley shrugged. "They're on a break as far as I know." She glanced off to the back entrance of the tent where the shore was at view. The waves settling off a sparkling aura in the black night.
"He'll be ok…hey he came out with us the other day." Brooke offered trying to comfort her.
"I know." Haley pondered. "He just seems really closed off with me all of a sudden, like for ages he was always so interested in what I was doing…remember.."
"Over-protective.." Brooke said.
"Yea.." Haley reasoned. "And It was annoying at times but I knew he was only looking out for me…but now it's like he doesn't even care and I know he's been through a lot…he's just so flippant with me all of the time." Haley said sighing as she glanced down at her hands. "I don't know how to help him Brooke, I've tried talking to him…"
"Maybe just be honest with him." Brooke admitted softly.
Haley's head shot up at that in surprise.
Brooke shrugged. "I'm just saying maybe if you two are completely honest with each other you might be able to work everything out.."
"I never wanted to hide anything from him." Haley admitted softly. "Just straight after the accident seemed to be a really selfish time for me to be telling him about my life…"
"There's never going to be a right time."
Haley was starting to realise that now. She thought she could do it in these two weeks she was apart from Nathan, she thought she could get through to her brother and tell him everything. She wanted him to know and understand and be happy for her. She knew what she was doing, it was the first relationship she had since the Kyle scenario and she knew it was right. There was no going back, she was just sure Jake wouldn't accept this.
"I'm just afraid he'll never come around to this." Haley said softly.
"Haley.." Brooke said going over to her. "Nathan's a good guy, I know it, you know it….yea the things that have happened between ye in the past doesn't exactly stand up to that statement but you two have worked past it, you understand it….Jake will too." Brooke promised.
"Yea.." Haley said running a hand through her locks. "I just wish things were that simple."
"Talk to him, Hales." Brooke said pulling her in for a hug. "Before the wedding."
Haley pulled away nodding. "Yea…I need to make this right."
Walking through the orchid covered entrance Nathan made his way into the white tent smiling at the sight before him. It was taking everything in him not to run over there and just grab her in his arms. "Nice view." He said casually making a point of looking at her and not the vast ocean that could be seen from the opposite side of the tent.
"Yea." Haley said automatically in reply before freezing in her action. She recognised that voice. That familiar husky voice that sent chills coursing through her body. She was afraid that maybe if she turned around he wouldn't be here. Was she really going that crazy? Why would he be here though, he told her he'd see her the day of the wedding. Despite her reservation Haley turned anyway and felt that familiar course of feelings emit themselves within every fibre of herself. "Nathan.." She said in breathless surprise. She hopped off the stool meeting him halfway in the centre of the room before throwing her arms around his neck and fusing their lips together. A light groan leaving her mouth as she finally met his again.
Nathan pulled away after several moments brushing back the piece of hair that had fallen in front of her face. "I should stay away more often." He joked as he pulled her against him wrapping her into a big bear hug. Haley's laughed against his jacket letting the sexy scent of his aftershave absorb her. He always smelt so good….so Nathan. She smiled at the thought. "What are you doing here?" She finally questioned as they pulled back from each other.
"Just came out for a walk.." Nathan teased. "And Lucas kind of told me where you'd be." He muttered quietly even though no one else was in the room. Haley laughed again at his teasing manner.
Nathan smirked back. God, he'd never get enough of that laugh. It was good to see her smiling, he knew things were a little tougher than normal at home lately and if it meant easing that for a few moments he was glad he could do it. "God I missed you." Haley said honestly as she pulled herself flush against him again. He felt so good, she just wanted to stay like this. She'd missed this, all of it.
Nathan placed a soft kiss on her cheek before working his way gently down her neck up to her earlobe teasing his tongue against her skin. Haley moaned a little loudly at his actions only spurring him on further as she titled her head to the side allowing him more access. "Nathan…" she whimpered softly feeling that pool of desire in her stomach burn for him. It was a ravaging burn, a fire inside of her that needed to be put out fast. She couldn't understand it, how he did it. He just turned everything inside of her completely on its head, all her former worries about Jake, about the wedding, everything became inferior to the feelings and the desire that rushed through her now like wildfire. She was out of control of her mind yet never felt so powerful all at the same time.
Nathan brushed his hands across the curve of her hips before dancing his fingers across the flesh that was exposed underneath her blue blouse. He started walking them backwards not sure where he was walking them too until Haley grabbed his hair roughly bringing his lips back up to meet hers. She had to feel him again, hoping in some way the urgency of her mouth against his would signal to him exactly what she did need. Nathan kissed her back just as roughly this time as he felt her hands zipping down his black jacket and pushing it off his shoulders. He walked them back until Haley was backed up against the pillar at the side of the tent and he attacked her neck again as his hands roamed right up her stomach cupping her bra-clad breasts. Everything felt different this time, urgent, desperate…it wasn't like before where everything had moved at a torturous yet sensual pace.
Nathan licked and bit at her weak spot feeling her wither underneath his touch and softly bit on her earlobe. "Remember when I was leaving you at the airport…" He said huskily in her ear as one of his slipped up the side of her bra, his fingers reaching around to stroke her nipple ever so softly, Haley automatically leaning into his touch.
She groaned wanting more when she felt his finger stop in its tracks. What was he playing at? Was he really waiting for her to answer him…seriously they were going to have a conversation now? Instead of pondering these thoughts any further Haley muttered a barely audible "Yes" hoping it would be enough for him to continue his path. She sighed contently when she felt his fingers tease her breasts again as he brought his mouth back up to hair. "I said I dunno how you do it…" Nathan whispered against her ear again as he pulled on her earlobe.
Haley squeezed her eyes shut at his action. She remembered exactly what he was referring to, she hadn't a clue what he was going on about at the time and she wondered why he was bringing it up again now. She couldn't concentrate on that now, couldn't he see that? The things he was doing to her were making it impossible to concentrate. She felt the loss of his hand immediately as he left her breast allowing her bra to cover them again as his hand trailed a light teasing path down her stomach to the button of her jeans. God, he was such a tease sometimes. He knew what she wanted yet he wasn't going any further. "Nathan.." Haley urged between breaths not even taking notice to where they were about to do this, the desire to have him inside of her washing every other thought away.
"I want you to feel the same way Hales…" Nathan said huskily against her ear once more and as if to prove his point grinded himself up against her emitting another groan from her throat. She knew exactly what he was talking about and she felt it, she felt it every time she was with him. It was always so overwhelming like right now and there was nothing she could do to stop it. It consumed everything in her and she never felt so whole. "I do.." Haley whimpered feeling his obvious erection rub up against her jean pants. She rubbed herself up against it wanting to find some form of relief herself not even realising she was doing it.
"God Hales.." Nathan groaned feeling her ride his cock outside his pants. He couldn't take much more of this, he brought his hands up under her thighs hoisting her up on him as he started walking them out.
Haley didn't know what he was doing, he was hardly stopping this was he? She knew they weren't exactly in the best place but she couldn't stop now, not after he'd worked her up like this. Since when had she become such a fiend…Brooke would laugh at her for this right now. Especially as it seemed like such a Brooke thing to be doing. But she didn't think it was out of the ordinary, it felt right; all of it did with him. "Nathan…." Haley said tersely. "I want you now." She said as she once again moved herself up on his cock and back down again.
Nathan was lucky he didn't lose his footing at the action, it spurring him on to his last as he made his way out the back of the tent and laid her down on a grassy patch overlooking the sand by the shore. It wasn't exactly where he wanted to go but he couldn't wait any longer either and right now the need to be inside of her quenched every other concern in his mind. He wasted no time slipping off both is boxers and jeans before moving to Haley's not even getting them down the full way as he plunged himself inside of her both groaning loudly in satisfaction, their bodies having finally received what they truly desired.
"God….you feel so good." Nathan moaned breathlessly as he pounded himself inside of her before pulling back out and pounding again; both setting an urgent rhythm that was nothing like what they'd engaged in before. Whether it was the time apart, their anger at the situation that caused it…neither knew but everything about this was full on intensity. Haley was panting heavily at his actions loving this new way he was taking her, it was what she wanted the first time but they had taken it slow. It was nothing short of amazing then but right now as he pounded into her she could feel him hitting spots in a completely different way. She knew Nathan was afraid to be rough with her, she could see that apprehension in his eyes the first time but right now he was completely letting himself go with her and her whole body was wraped up in this reckless intensity.
"Come on baby….come for me." Nathan urged her as he pounded into her again hitting her g-spot every time. He knew she was on the verge of it as he felt her muscles begin to clench around him tightly. He kept up his pace hoping she would come sooner rather than later because he knew he couldn't hold off much longer. Haley could hear his voice urging her on and she lost it in an instance as she heard what he called her , the way he said it along with the way he pushed himself inside of her allowing every part of her to let go and just succumb herself to him in every way. His name came out through breathless pants as she felt herself ride out her high with him before coming down from ecstasy. Hearing her call out to him in that breathless way sent him over the edge seconds later as he finally found his release inside her moist warmth moaning her name as he too came down from his high.
Nathan lay his head down just over her shoulder panting heavily allowing his body time to calm down. He could feel her heavy breathing underneath him as she ran her hands up and down his sweaty back, the action relaxing him even more. Seconds later Nathan pulled out of her and lay down beside her feeling his heart still beating heavily in his chest. Haley hissed at the loss of contact immediately feeling the night air hit her sweaty body. It still took a couple of moments before her breath came back to normal…"Wow…" She said not even sure how to voice what happened between them just then.
Nathan was just as perplexed as he ran over everything in his mind. So firstly he was just coming down to see her, he missed her. Then they were hugging, they kissed and everything after that was a big blur. A big intense blur. He wasn't sure what came over him but he just had to have her in that moment. "Hales.." He whispered softly wondering had she fell asleep or something she was so quite.
"Hmm…" Haley replied still wrapped up in the feeling of peace that was currently plaguing her mind. Everything felt ok right now and she just wanted to hold onto that feeling for so long because she hadn't felt it in a while. Not in its complete entirety.
"I wasn't too rough with you…..was I?" Nathan stated apprehensively not sure he wanted to know the answer. Sure he'd never hurt her he knew that but things had got so intense between them and his body had fuelled him on so much he'd lost all rational thoughts of what he was doing.
Haley perked up out of her dream-like haze after that comment and looked across at him in surprise at his words. "What….no…why would you say that….that was amazing." She admitted blushing slightly at her admittance, even after engaging in an act like that with him she still found it embarrassing to talk about it.
Nathan smiled softly then at her words, he knew Haley hated to say things like that. He could never understand it..She would get embarrassed by the little things yet they just had sex here on the beach moments before. "Yea it was." He said back before reaching across and pulling her body flush against his side kissing the top of her head.
"I'm glad you let go.." Haley said softly into the darkness. "I never want you to hold back on me Nathan, I love you." She spoke honestly and softly as she reached up and kissed him on the lips lightly.
He didn't want to hold back on her anymore, she was given herself to him completely and he could see that in the way they made love. Haley was becoming so free, daring almost..she was placing her trust in him. Trust.
He knew there was some things she was still in the dark about. A lot of the things about his past with Dan being one of them. But Haley said she'd be here when he was ready. And he wasn't just ready to open that can of worms yet. He knew the anger he was feeling for Dan was an ugly emotion and he didn't want her to see it. If he could just deal with it and overcome it himself, maybe then he could tell her. Because he wanted to, he knew telling her would help close off those wounds. But he didn't want to tell her out of rage.
"Stay with me tonight." Nathan whispered to her through the darkness.
God it's all she wanted to do. Just lie here with him and forget the world. Forget everything. Everything felt so right here, nothing could get in their way, endanger them or come between them. But just as quick as that thought came she realised the promise she made to herself and to Brooke.
"I can't." Haley said honestly as she rubbed her hands across his chest. "I have to talk to Jake before the wedding."
Her words were like a bucket off cold water over his chest washing the warmth inside of him out. "I wish we'd told him earlier.."
"You wanted to." Haley reasoned. "And I said not to…I was just waiting for the right time and like Brooke said there is no right time."
"Don't put this on yourself Hales." Nathan said sighing. This was going to be nasty he'd seen the way Jake warded guys off Haley and that was only a warning. He was going to blow a fuse, Nathan had no doubt about it. "Maybe I should go with.."
"No..I think this is something I've got to do myself."
"Right in case he tried to kill me or something." Nathan tried to joke however, it falling flat among them. "I understand Hales." Nathan said rubbing her hair softly. She had said it on the phone a few times when they'd called each other. Jake was always out, he never wanted to listen to her, never spoke to her. He knew he had no right but Nathan was angry, Jake had been through a lot yea but it gave him no right to treat Haley like this. Couldn't he see it was tearing her up?
Haley lifted herself off his chest reluctantly as she slipped her pants back up and fixed herself as Nathan did the same. "I want to be able to dance with you at the wedding tomorrow and just be with you…I'm tired of hiding us."
Nathan sighed, he wanted nothing more than that he just wasn't sure it was a good idea. "I know Hales…it's just you know how angry he is going to be with this and then us flaunting it off in front of him…god knows what he'll do to me."
"He's no right to do anything." Haley reasoned.
"Hales in all fairness I've been a bit of an ass to you a lot when Jake has been around." Nathan said reluctantly meeting her eyes.
"So have I." Haley replied. "A lot's changed Nathan, a lot he doesn't know about…hell he doesn't even know what's happening with you now.."
"We can't tell him that." Nathan jumped in feeling bad they couldn't tell the full truth. "At least not yet.." Nathan said rubbing her arm in reassurance.
"I know." Haley said. "But I can tell him about what happened during the storm and hopefully he'll see the other side of things." Haley muttered more to herself as she glanced at her clock noting it was already past midnight. "Crap It's getting late." She glanced over at Nathan noticing him fidgeting with the grass not meeting her gaze.
"Hey it'll work out you know…he'll just need time." She prodded trying to get him to meet her eyes. He was so nervous, it was sort of cute…if it hadn't been cause of this situation.
Her words did little to calm him. Saying no more Nathan stood up reluctantly holding his hand out for Haley.
"I wish I could stay." Haley said as he pulled his arm around her shoulder holding her against him as they walked back inside.
"I know." Nathan replied. "But you need to work things out with Jake, right now that's more important." Nathan said as he let go and turned her to face him bringing her in for a slow, soft kiss.
Haley pulled back leaning her forehead against his. "I'll see you tomorrow ok, whatever happens with Jake…I'll be here." She said as she gave him one last chaste kiss and walked up to the entrance.
Nathan nodded albeit unsure with how all this was going to work out. He called out to her just as she reached the orchid entrance.."Hales….if things go badly with Jake, maybe we should keep our distance tomorrow..if we have too." He reasoned. He knew it was going to be hard being in the same room as her and not being near her but he didn't want any fights to break out. Tomorrow was Keith and Karen's day, they didn't need all this drama among it all.
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Haley dropped her keys at the side table entrance as she shut the door behind her doing every little thing slowly and carefully as if to delay the inevitable. How had things become like this? Her and Jake used to be so close, their fights usually lasting about a day until one of them caved…usually a bag of maltesers was involved in that apology. That felt like so long ago. She knew she was partially to blame, but it's not like she really understood what was going on with her and Nathan from the beginning. She needed time to figure it out herself and sadly by the time she did the accident happened. Everything seemed to spiral out of control after that. But it was time to be done with hiding. Haley turned nearly jumping in the air when she noticed her very brother standing in the doorway of the kitchen come dining. "Christ Jake you frightened the life out of me." She said holding her heart. "Where's mum and dad?"
"Up in bed." Jake commented off-handily. "I told them I'd wait up for you, Mum was surprised when you didn't come home at 11 seen as you rang her at quarter past 10 and said you and Brooke had finished..it's quarter past 12 now." Jake said standing with his arms crossed.
Haley couldn't quite pinpoint it but something was different. Yea, there was nothing new with Jake's attitude, surprisingly she was getting used to him directing his anger towards her but this…this interrogation look in his eye was different. She wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. He was given her an in here to start the talk she needed to have with him and she knew there was no point in chickening out now. But it didn't stop her interrogating him first. "And so this is your first time caring in how long Jake?..How many nights have I been out with the gang and didn't come in till late and you never wanted to hear about what we were up to or how they all missed hanging out with you, you didn't care then did you?" She quipped as she walked past him into the kitchen willing herself to calm down. Shouting would do no good. Arguing would do no good. They needed to be calm.
"I've always cared Haley…maybe a little too much." Jake retorted back angrily as he followed after her.
Haley scoffed. "Oh yea and I haven't….I tried to help you Jake and you lashed out at me every time…hell you've being ignoring me for the past month."
"I was hurting Haley but you know what the difference here is..I know I was in the wrong, I'm not the one going around like a perfect angel."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Haley questioned.
Jake laughed bitterly as he pulled his hand out from where it was resting behind his back slamming the brown envelope down on the counter. "Maybe you should take a look at this before you go off on me about what a bad person I've become." He seethed before turning around and walking out the door.
With shaking hands Haley swallowed hard, her heart beating frantically in her chest as she took the envelope in her hands knowing what this was about but not really understanding it all the same. She hesitantly opened the envelope allowing the pristine snaps to fall out before her very eyes.
She gasped putting her hand to her mouth as the snaps of her and Nathan at the river court evaded her mind.
Nathan and her lying in the grass at the side of the court laughing in a complete world of their own. She remembered that day very well, it was the say her feelings really started to change for him. Nathan and her outside the hospital. Nathan and her at the market dock. She felt the chills run up her spine as she glanced at the pictures. What sort of creep would do this, would mess with their heads like this? One person came to mind and she instantly felt sick. Was Jake hanging out with him….when did he get these pictures?
She grabbed the pictures stuffing them into the envelope not wanting to see any more of it. It was then she noticed what was laying underneath the pile. She narrowed her eyes as she lifted up the snapshots of Nathan, some with Dan and what was evidence of dealings. None of this made sense…..why was Nathan…
She felt the bile rising up her throat at the thought as she shook her head. This was all Damien, she knew Nathan. She knew him.
But what was he hiding? Another voice taunted her. She ignored it thought, these pictures with Dan were obviously from ages ago. There were things she didn't know but she trusted him completely. She wasn't going to fall for this. As she flicked through to the last picture she felt her stomach recoil again. The date and place of the last one. 4 weeks ago. But how?...Nathan was in Boston, he never said anything about going to Charlotte.
As much as she wanted to look away from it she couldn't peel her eyes back. She let the hurt ripple through like an onslaught of terror. There he was in his black jacket, the same one he was wearing tonight and sunglasses and….she didn't want to look at it anymore. Haley felt her hands shaking again as she slumped to the tiled kitchen floor. Little over an hour ago she'd never felt so at peace with the one thing in her life that was constant. She remembered how nervous he had been about her going to Jake, the way he was fidgeting with the grass and refused to meet her gaze.
She didn't want to believe it. She couldn't doubt him. She knew him.
Then the pictures flashed through her mind once again. And they wouldn't leave….
(Song used: Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars)