For The Thrill Of It

Chapter Twenty Six: Virginity

Disclaimer: I do not own anything mentioned in the following fanfiction, except for the character of Kristen Shaw. She is of my own design

"Hit me"

She didn't hesitate like she did the last time he asked her to hit her. Instead, she swung a punch but found that it didn't hit its desired target as he moved out of the way, dodging the punch.

"You aren't listening to me, babe. Remember, always keep your eyes on me" he said as he continued to jockey in his position, bouncing from side to side.

He'd started training her shortly after her break down in the gym, understanding that she needed something to keep her mind off the ever present guilt she was facing. She was grateful that he'd dedicated his lunch hour and the few hours they used to spend relaxing in his bedroom to her and getting her hand to hand combat ready. It was a great distraction and a great way to funnel everything she was feeling towards one task, which was currently her trying to beat the crap out of James. They'd been at it for a few days and everyday when she woke up, she found herself an inch closer to normal than she had been the day before. Her progress was slowly but it was coming; and all because of him. It was almost inhuman the way he was able to understand her. He wasn't clingy or overbearing or overprotective; he was there when she needed him and didn't pressure her or push her like he usually did. He was just there. Nothing more, nothing less. If anything, it made her love him more.

She dropped her fists and gave her limbs a good shake before bringing them back up, beginning to jockey much like he was. She lunged and punched again, James deflecting the punch with one of the hand held cushion pads he was holding.

"Good. Remember, fist goes where you're looking" he said as he nodded appreciatively, putting his padded hands back up. She wiped her brow with the back of her hand and then pulled off the gloves she was wearing, tossing them to the side.

"How about we fight for real. Cut this hit the cushioned target crap" she said breathlessly as she stretched her arms, rotating them in her shoulder sockets several times before cracking her neck as she turned her head sharply to either side.

She watched him chuckle appreciatively and then pulled off the cushions on his hands followed by his shirt, Kristen's eyes going immediately to his almost perfect abdominal section.

"I'm not going to hit you" he said as he came back to the sparring mat, her eyes still glued onto his middle. He snapped his fingers a few times which broke her from her revere, Kristen grinning at him without embarrassment. She wasn't ashamed to admire him; he was gorgeous.

"That's so not even fair" she complained as she pointed to his bare chest, James just smiling wickedly at her.

"That's sweet, you're saying I'm distracting" he said as he cocked his head to the side and put his hands in his sweat pants pockets. He had such a smug, arrogant look on his face that she just laughed, looking away as she gave a sigh.

"So we're playing that game?" she countered as she pulled off her own tank top, revealing a black sports bra. She wiped her face with her shirt and then tossed it away, grinning back at him as his eyes raked over her now shorts and bra clad body.

"Distract away, I'm still not going to hit you" he countered as he finally took his eyes off of her and brought them up to her eyes, her hands busy retying her long hair into a pony tail.

"Fine. I'll hit you" she said as she brought her bare fists up and slowly began to circle the mat, James doing the same but keeping his fists down. They were grinning each other as they rotated around, Kristen full of aggression and spice as James just looked cool and collected. She was itching to go and he was just walking like it was nothing.

"You can try" he replied wittily, as they continued to circle each other, fire in her eyes as he antagonized her.

That was all the motivation she needed. A second later she was lunging across to him and the next thing she knew he was behind her with her arm weakly twisted on her back to try and do her no harm.

"What'd you do wrong?" he asked, his lips close to her ear and his breath tickling her neck, Kristen using almost all of her will power to try to not shiver. She could feel his skin on her bare back and that was almost enough to make her turn around and jump his bones right then and there. But instead, she just closed her eyes and sucked in a breath, stilling herself.

"Closed my eyes when I threw my fist" she muttered as he let her go of her and she jogged to the opposite side of the mat, giving her limbs another good shake. This was the first time they'd sparred since she'd started training with him days ago and she knew she wasn't going to be perfect, but she was expecting better from herself.

"Don't close your eyes this time" he warned as they began to circle each other again, Kristen gritting her teeth with concentration. They continued to circle around each other again and like last time, she lunged forward and began the exchange again.

This time, it ended with his elbow an inch away from her stomach, his eyes peering up at her cautiously as she took in the fact that she was once again beat.

"Didn't anticipate" she mumbled this time as he got up and took a step back, his body beginning to glisten in sweat which only added to the distraction. She closed her eyes and refocused, channelling all of attention to beating him. She needed to prove to herself that these past few days of working her ass off to be a better fighter was paying off and that she was making progress.

"Just focus and remember everything I've taught you" he said to her quietly as they began circling each other again, Kristen's fire burning in her chest.

She wait longer than usual to make the first move but eventually, she engaged him in hand to hand fighting. She focused on her movements, blocking a faux punch here and deflecting a fist there. They went at it for the better part of the minute before it ended with his elbow an inch from her face, Kristen once again fuming in anger. The scenario where he beat her happened four more times till eventually, she pushed him away from her and cursed at herself angrily, stomping a foot down on the mat in frustration.

"Hey, just relax. You're doing fine" he said encouragingly as he separated from her and smiled, putting a hand on her shoulder for comfort.

"I'm losing, how is that fine" she bit back to him as she glared, frustrated for not performing better. She needed to win, and part of her just wished that James would let her beat her, but at the same time she respected him for not letting her. He knew she'd only get mad if he let her win so he just persisted; she was going to have to earn it, which is what she wanted to do.

"This isn't about winning, this is about being a better fighter. Chances are when you fighting someone they aren't going to be as good at this as I am. So just relax and focus on your training" he said as he kissed her temple affectionately before going back to his position across from her on the mat, smiling at her.

"And if I do meet someone who's as good as you?" she said humorously as she brought her fists back up and begin to bounce, feeling like a lion getting ready to pounce as they circled each other.

"Just flash them that killer stomach of yours and they'll be putty" he countered sarcastically with a grin, both of them smiling before going back to work.

It took a little longer for them to begin fighting again, but soon enough she was lunging forward and a combination of movements eventually brought them to the floor.

She was pinned down for a second by James, his body hovering above her's with either hand on one of her wrists, his knees propping him above her. They stayed like that for a second, Kristen stunned at the position they were in and the smirk on James' face before she retaliated, using a few deft movements to gain the upper hand and eventually pin him down, straddling his hips as she held down his arms.

"Take that" she whispered to him as she finally gave into the urge and kissed him, feeling the heat of his skin and the pulse of his heart just through his lips.

"If this is what the sex is going to be like, count me in" he said as soon as she pulled back and gave him a mischievous smile, Kristen laughing outright as she climbed off of him.

"About that..." she started, moving over to her water bottle as she took a swing, relishing the cool liquid. She didn't know how to tell him that she was a virgin; he was so experienced and as of less than a month ago, she hadn't even kissed a guy. His experience level intimidated her, but the way she saw it, she'd rather him know about it now than when they were making out heavily on a bed sans clothes. Their relationship had been based on full disclosure, but she just didn't know how to tell him.

"No, I get it. No pressure, none so ever. It'll happen when it happens" he said as he slowly got off the mat and joined her by their stuff in the corner, snatching her bottle from her hand and taking a hearty swing.

"No, James, it's not that. I want to, I do. I just..." she exasperated, trying to put into words what she needed to tell him.

"What is it?" he asked gently pulling on the shirt he'd discarded a few minutes ago. The shirt was halfway over his head when she blurted it out, sucking up the courage and letting it go.

"I'm a virgin" she said before cringing, screwing up her face in a contorted way as she watched his reaction. He stopped all movement for a second but regained it back a second later, putting his shirt back on with robotic movements.

"You're a what, now?" he asked in a hushed tone for clarification, looking at her with a mixture of confusion, surprise, and disbelief.

"A virgin" she repeated, keeping the face as she watched him further react to this news. She didn't know how it would change things between them, but she had faith that it wouldn't matter. At least, she hoped it wouldn't.

"Wow" he said quietly after about a minute of silence, her eyes watching his face pass from confusion, to surprise, to incredulity.

"I know I'm 23 but its like, you have to keep in mind that—" she spluttered, blurting out her reasoning in a mess of words.

"Kristen"

"No, just let me finished. I was like in and out of prisons and working jobs and—"

"It's alright"

"—I just didn't have time for boys let alone sex. And besides, sex should mean something—"

"Kristen, it's alright. Actually, it's better than alright. It's perfect"

She stopped talking this time and just sat on the bench she'd been sitting on, a stupid look on her face as she watched him walk over to her slowly and crouch down.

"And you're right. Sex should mean something and for me, it hasn't meant something other than needing a sexual release for a really long time. Which is why I'm more than happy to wait until you're ready" he said as he gently put his hands on her knees and looked at her dead in the eyes, the way he was looking at her sincere enough to withdraw a smile from her lips and a new round of butterflies from her stomach.

"I must have done something to please the karma gods because you are far too perfect" she said in reply as they both chuckled appreciatively, Kristen out stretching a hand and putting it on the side of his face as he just smiled, his eyes gentle.

"Thank you" she said quietly to him as she just looked at him, taking him in. He'd changed so much in the two months they'd known each other; he'd become this wonderful man who was such a big part of her life now. He'd managed to get her through one of the most troubling times in her life and she had her sanity because of him.

"For what?" he replied back with a smile on his face but confusion in his eyes.

"These past few days, being there for me. I don't think I would have gotten through them without you" she said as her fingers played with his ear and the hair on the back of his neck, giving him a genuine smile for appreciation.

"You would have. You're knuckles would be shot to hell but, you would have gotten through it eventually. I have no doubt in that" he replied back with humour as he took her hand off his face and gently kissed her palm, rising in his spot as soon as he'd done it.

"We should call it a night. Tomorrow's the day you go back to work in the Transporter room so, you should get your sleep" he said over his shoulder as he turned to gather their stuff and fold up the mat, halfway across the room before she even caught on.

"Wait, what?" she asked in clarification as she pulled on her tank, wanting to make sure she heard him right.

"You heard me" he countered over his shoulder once again, collecting her gloves and chucking them to her from across the room.

"James, I don't think I can—" she began, her stomach now in knots. She hadn't been back to that room since it'd happened, and despite how good she felt right now and how far she'd come from how she used to be, she didn't know if she could go back into that room.

"You can. And you will. Kristen, if you can't do it now who's to say you'll be able to do it three months from now? You can't run forever, and besides...the room's a mess of idiot Ensigns trying to figure out what the hell you did in your subroutine" he said earnestly before giving her a grin, throwing an arm over her shoulders and kissing her temple affectionately as they walked out, the lights in the gym turning off behind them.

-----------------

"So I told him I was a virgin"

She watched Nyota's head perk up and her eyes go wide, the Communication Officer completely abandoning the ham sandwich she'd been in the middle of eating.

"When?" Uhura asked in a hushed tone, her face eager with anticipation of finding out new information.

"Last night, in the gym" Kristen replied quickly, spooning some pudding into her mouth.

They were sitting at a table in the mess hall eating lunch, Kristen contemplating telling Nyota or not but eventually choosing to spill the beans because if anyone could give her sex advice besides James, she guessed it'd be Nyota.

"And?" Nyota pressed, her eyes lighting up.

"And what?" Kristen asked, confused at what Uhura was asking.

"And what did he say? Was he surprised, angry, upset? What did he say?"

"He said it was fine. That he was tired of meaningless sex and he would wait as long as he had to until I was ready" Kristen let out in a breath, raising her eyebrows to emphasize the point she was making.

"Wait, hold on. James T Kirk said he would wait for sex?" Nyota asked with critical eyes, needing clarification.

"I know, right? I was surprised too" Kristen said as she nodded her head a few times, leaning back in her chair.

She'd been very surprised at James' answer last night. She hadn't expected the answer he'd given her, but then again, he'd done a lot for her that she hadn't expected.

"Wow" Nyota breathed a second later, running a hand absentmindedly through her long pony tail as she took in the information.

"Yeah" replied, nodding once.

"That's big" Uhura said a minute later after contemplation, giving her verdict.

"You think?" Kristen asked, pursing her lips and cocking them to the side in thought.

"Like really big. Like, I'm pretty sure he's in love with you big" Nyota declared, opening her eyes to Kristen expectantly.

"Nyota, stop" Kristen said a second later, blushing slightly as she tried to brush away the topic. She'd thought about it before, whether or not Kirk loved her. But she'd told herself that it didn't matter; she loved him and when the timing was right, she'd tell him. She didn't need him to love her back just yet, she just needed him to like her a lot.

"What? The only viable reason for Kirk to have turned into this wonderful guy is because he's in love with you and he's being the guy he thinks you deserve" Nyota said, giving her two cents on the situation as always.

"Or he's just trying to be a better person" Kristen countered, leaning back towards the table as she rested her elbows on the edge.

"Maybe. But I got to tell you, the way he looks at you...I gotta tell you, that's love, darling. It's love" Nyota finished as she gave Kristen one final expectant look before rising, leaving Kristen alone to ponder.

Was it love? She was pretty sure it was on her end but she'd wait and see for herself if it was on his.

((Author's Note: *knocks on screen* Hello? You there? Where were you guys last chapter? Lol, anyways, hoped you like the chapter. As always, MUCH love to Jess, my beta. The vision of a battling Kristen/Kirk gives me goosebumps. Anyways let me know what you think of the chapter and I'll see you guys tomorrow! Please read and review, as always!))