Genesect stares at the screen, in disbelief, at the story that DragonNiro sent him.
There's no way he can review this, at all! No way!
He slams on the table.
"Oh, you got to be kidding me!"
The Angry Bug Show
Presented by:
Genesect
Genesect's replacement wii remote quest
by gemerl720 post
(Red Genesect is standing in front of the camera.)
"This is exactly what you wanted!"
(Suddenly, a blast shoots Red Genesect off, and Genesect the Angry Bug walks on, with a scowl.)
Sorry about that.
Anyway, do you guys remember my first review, about me getting a Wii U?
(Then, Intoxiquer flies in, with a calm expression.)
"I do!"
You weren't even there!
"Oh, yeah..."
(The Crobat flies off, leaving an angry Genesect there.)
Anyway, DragonNiro sent me a story over my laptop, and it's another story about me and gaming consoles.
(Genesect grits his teeth.)
Here we go...!
When Genesect goes straight to gamestop, he walks straight to the Employer that the pick up has arrived.
Like my criticism last time, wouldn't anyone question why a Pokémon, a Legendary Pokémon in fact, is walking into a game store?
The shop employee is behind the boarded up shop, something banging on the door.
Suddenly, a hole breaks through, and an cybernetic bug peers through the hole.
"HERE'S GENESECT!"
"Pick up for Genesect." Said the Employer.
Genesect picks up the game about Super Genesect 64 for the Wii U "WARNING, NOT REAL!"
Last time I saw this, I thought it was part of the story, but I can now tell it's the author breaking the fourth wall.
(Genesect sighs.)
Did we really need a warning that game doesn't exist? We all KNOW THAT!
Genesect gives the money to the cashier and puts the game in the bag and flies home.
(Genesect frowns.)
Yet again, where did I get the money from?! Legendaries don't have human jobs!
When Genesect gets back to his state room, Genesect inserts the disc to the Wii U. Genesect installs the Super Genesect 64 for the Wii U.
You know, you could just use 'he' instead of repeating my name!
Genesect uses the black Wii remote and tightened the strap to Genesect's purple mechanical wrist from the black Wii remote.
When he plays the mini game that Genesect unlocked, He shaked the wii remote really hard so he can unlock a miracle bomb.
ABOUT TIME!
Unfortunately he accidentally splits the black Wii remote in screams and cries in front of everyone while showing his black Wii remote that its broken. Scene cuts to Genesect at the therapist. "Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Go on." Said the therapist. Then Genesect continues freak out more.
…...Wat?
Step-Brothers: What the f**k happened?!
(Genesect blinks in disbelief.)
What the BLEEDING HELL was that moment? Is that suppose to be funny?!
(Genesect slams the table.)
I don't find this funny at all!
I just don't get it, did the author find this funny?!
Because I don't!
IT'S TOO RANDOM! There isn't a punch line at all, this isn't comedy at all!
Genesect runs to the gamestop manager and Genesect said "My black Wii remote and I accidentally broke my remote in half, because the color of my console and is white so please give me a white Wii remote so any other color of wii remote won't charge my money."
Grammar error! It should be "I accidentally broke my Black Wii remote..." ect, ect!
Seriously, that is some bad grammar!
"But we don't have any white Wii remote that has motion plus inside, we shipped them long ago but they are already sold out." Said the manager.
Thank goodness! I hope this story ends here!
"But I have one white Wii remote that has motion plus inside left. In order to get this white Wii remote is to do the dangerous task."
NOPE, it doesn't! And apparently, I have to do this dangerous task to get this freaking Wii U Remote.
(Genesect raises his arms and slams in frustration.)
I wonder what it could be!?
Genesect flies to the planet venus like canyon/volcano kingdom.
Wait, did I go to space, or not? I can't really tell.
(Genesect looks at the paragraph.)
Well, if I did go to space, I would have died before getting to Venus!
(The bug frowns.)
I didn't go to Space!
Space Sphere: I wanna go to space! SPACE!
Genesect is fearful and hatred, that lava and fire is the only weakness for Genesect because he is a bug and a steel type.
(Suddenly, Intoxiquer flies in.)
"NO SHIP, SHERLOCK!"
Technically, I only hate fire near me. I'm not scared of it.
(Then, Victini comes in, with a lighter.)
"So, I found this lighter and...
ARGHH!
Mewtwo is in the crater like volcano in the venus like canyon/volcano kingdom.
(Genesect looks surprised.)
Why is Mewtwo here?! Has he been dragged into this bullcrap as well?!
"Genesect, I am here because I'm homeless." Said Mewtwo.
But Mewtwo lives at the Hall of Origin! He doesn't live on Venus!
(Genesect frowns, angrily.)
He's NOT homeless!
"Come on Mewtwo, lets cooperate so I can get the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball!" Replied Genesect.
What?!
"Come on Mewtwo, lets cooperate so I can get the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball!"
(Genesect blinks, in confusion.)
WHAT?!
"Come on Mewtwo, lets cooperate so I can get the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball!"
The 10th Doctor: WHAT?!
What is this?!
I mean, what is this?!
(An angry tick appears on the side of Genesect's head.)
I...don't know what to say about this!
I mean, this doesn't make sense at all!
'A scary token that looks like the iron core of Venus but the size of a gumball'?!
One, who comes up with that description?! The author apparently! The author could have put 'The scary token that I need to find!'
And how would I know it's looks like the Iron Core of Venus?! I think there is, but I wouldn't like to know if Venus had an Iron Core!
And why is it the size of a Gumball?! Out of all the things, why a Gumball?!
Genesect and Mewtwo walked to the long bridge in the crater like volcano in the venus like canyon/volcano kingdom.
(Genesect raises his arms in the air in an not-impressed way.)
And, OF COURSE, me and Mewtwo have to go near the volcano, despite me hating FIRE!
"Don't look down Genesect." Said Mewtwo. The yellow lava erupts and flies up like a geyser and hits the bridge and Genesect looks down in fear.
SimonHDS90: I'm dumb! I'M DUMB!
Mewtwo saves Genesect by using blizzard and the yellow lava froze and Mewtwo tastes the frozen yellow lava and it's actally Velveeta cheese sauce.
Lord Shegorath: CHEESE! FOR EVERYONE!
Seriously?! The lava is cheese?! That's not creative at all! Besides, lava is more of red and orange, not CHEESE YELLOW!
Genesect is cranky that he is scared of boiling cheese and thrashes around the bridge and Mewtwo and Genesect falls down the bridge.
So, apparently, I get moody because I'm scared of molten cheese. Am I an idiot or something?!
(Suddenly, Mew appears in the background, with Genesect not noticing him. He then puts up a sign saying 'Yes, you are'.
He then proceeds to disappear.)
Mewtwo is mad at Genesect from making the bridge destroyed. The security camera is in the crater like volcano in the venus like canyon/volcano kingdom.
HOW WOULD A SECURITY CAMERA SURVIVE IN A PLACE LIKE THAT?! IT'S TOO HOT THERE!
The mystery monster's minon looks like Kirby but made out of Velveeta cheese sauce.
(Genesect frowns.)
A monster's minion looks like Kirby but is made out of cheese?! Does the author have an obsession with cheese?!
"Attention Attention, Do not grab the rings hooked on the hook under the bridge, thank you." Said the P.A. Genesect made a fantasic idea that he told Mewtwo to quickly grab 50 or more rings to drain the boiling Velveeta cheese sauce.
How would I know that would happen?! How would I know that it would drain the cheese away, all from that?
In fact, why would the minion say that? Better not to figure it out myself?
"Quick Mewtwo, grab 50 rings or more before we are melted to macaroni." Said Genesect.
(The Bug grimaces.)
Or better yet, have Mewtwo teleport us both out?! Or, I dunno, FLY OUT?!
Mewtwo and Genesect quickly grabbed 50 rings and the boiling Velveeta cheese sauce is drained with a toilet flushing sound. Mewtwo begins to laugh about the toilet flushing sound effect.
SLAM!
(Suddenly, out of nowhere, a table appears, and Genesect look furious.)
WHAT?!
Mewtwo is laughing at toilet humor?! THAT'S THE LOWEST FORM OF HUMOR!
I don't even find that funny!
Mewtwo is a respectful Legendary, and this fic is making him look like an idiot!
"Stop laughing Mewtwo before we are distracted!" Yelled Genesect. "When I hit three, we have to land with our feet." Genesect and Mewtwo are 6 seconds away from the secret hole that flushed away the boiling Velveeta cheese.
Just a thought, who would think of filling a canyon with molten cheese?
Genesect counted to 3 and opened their legs and landed on a platform floating on the Velveeta cheese safely.
For a moment then, I thought this would turn into a Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus-like fic, but then it changed.
….
….
I do not have any fetishes or anything like that!
(Genesect frowns.)
I just wish he'll stop writing Meloetta in that way...
But unfortunately they have a balance beam with red and blue-green tentacles under the beam.
Wait, is Deoxys here or something?
Genesect and Mewtwo are ready to walk the balance beam, they don't want to end up like Misty and Dawn being captured by the red and blue-green tentacles under the beam.
OBJECTION!
(Genesect points out.)
Okay, first things first, how would Misty and Dawn even service in this place? This place is like an active volcano, with molten cheese everywhere. Since it's LIKE a volcano, humans are unable to live here, since it's too hot!
True, Pokemon are more hardy, but humans are not! Misty and Dawn would be dead at this point!
And the second thing is, if Dawn and Misty came here together, why?!
They haven't even meet each other in the Anime, so how would they meet each other, because by the rate of Ash introducing old friends to new ones, it looks like it would be by accident!
They decided to attack the red and blue-green tentacles under the beam by using techno blast from Genesect, Hyper beam from Mewtwo. The red and blue-green tentacles under the beam are knocked out and the P.A. said "Do not attack the red and blue-green tentacles under the beam or it will get worse and capture you." They shouldn't haven't done that,
Happy Mask Salesmen: You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?
Mewtwo and Genesect ended up like Misty and Dawn. Mewtwo generates a blue aura and transforms into Mewtwo's awakening form. The new form of Mewtwo is from Pokemon X and Y.
We already know that. It's been a few months since X and Y's been out. We're all ready of ORAS*!
Meloetta is the red and blue-green tentacles under the beam's weakness.
WHAT?! WHAT IS MELOETTA DOING HERE?!
Is she trying to get that blasted token?! Keldeo would be angry for Meloetta being risky.
(Genesect pauses, then turns to camera.)
I know this sounds like a proper bad time to do this, during a review, but I was quite upset when I heard Keldeo jumped into that Plot Hole.
Keldeo has been a fantastic critic and I was sad to hear that. I was inspired by him mostly, along with other critics, and to have him gone...
Well, that's shocking...
(Genesect crosses his arms.)
I sent my condolences to the Swords and Meloetta, to show my respect towards what Keldeo did.
I do plan to keep criticizing. I'm still reviewing fics no matter what. Good or bad, come what may, fics are meant to be reviewed.
I am the Angry Bug, and I will review.
However, I do believe Keldeo will return one day. Who knows when, but I still believe.
Sorry if that was a bit cheesy.
Anyway, let's get back to the fic.
Meloetta said "Stop capturing Mewtwo and Genesect you monster." Meloetta used psychic and the red and blue-green tentacles under the beam are stunned, the red and blue-green tentacles under the beam rised up out of the ground and it's gigantic Deyoxys colored Tentacruel, the guardian of the balance beam.
(Genesect sweats nervously.)
This...doesn't make any sense...
"Wait a minute, you used psychic, I am a water and poison type." He shrinks and dies from Meloetta's psychic attack, Dawn, Misty, Genesect and Mewtwo.
Ron Burgundy: That escalated quickly.
Misty screamed that she saw Genesect and she ran away. Dawn disappeared for no reason.
I kind give credit to author knowing Misty's fear of bugs, but what happened with Dawn?!
"Run Genesect and Mewtwo, go to the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball!" Meloetta announced.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY 'TOKEN'?!
They finally got to the chamber and grabbed the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball. A Giant Cheese puff ball is like worse than a bolder and they escaped.
Great! More cheese!
(Suddenly, Intoxiquer flies in.)
"Actually, I hate cheese."
Genesect used Flamethrower and the Giant Cheese puff melted into boiling Velveeta cheese sauce and the perfect chaos like Cheese sauce monster is the mystery monster.
What is this, Sonic the Hedgehog?!
"Who dares awakened from my Giant Cheese puff egg." Said the Cheese monster. Genesect didn't know the bolder is an egg.
….I'm not going to make an egg joke...
The Cheese monster hurls out hot boiling Velveeta cheese sauce. "That's what I call a Munster cheese!" Said the Cheese monster evil laughing.
Rocket Raccoon: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
StarLord: That's a fake laugh!
They have to hold the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball, Mewtwo and Genesect flies out of the secret chamber and filling the boiling Velveeta cheese sauce due to the Velveeta cheese sauce barf attack and clogged it from its body of the Cheese monster.
…...Does the author find body waste humor funny?!
Meloetta is in charge of the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball. "Mewtwo, Genesect, you are the only hope to stop the Cheese monster." Said Meloetta.
(Genesect shakes his head.)
I hate cheese!
The new form of Mewtwo is still on and Mewtwo used Psystrike and Genesect used Techno Blast at the Cheese monster. Genesect's drive glow and releases a super charged thunderbolt from its cannon and hits the Cheese monster.
The Cheese monster exploded out a Giant glow and the crater like volcano in the venus like canyon/volcano kingdom begins to convert into a normal floor and the venus like canyon/volcano turned into a girls scout for the grand canyon and the clouds became white and normal blue sky with a rainbow and birds flying and made grass, water, trees, moss and nature. The Cheese monster turned into a permanent bag of Cheetos puffs.
…..WHAT?!
That...is IT?!
(Genesect shakes his head.)
You know what, I'm not going to even to say ANYTHING!
(Genesect then cocks his head in confusion.)
What the heck is 'Cheetos Puffs', anyway?
Meloetta still has the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball.
Meloetta gave the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball to Genesect and he flies to gamestop.
So, me, Meloetta and Mewtwo go to Gamestop, to get a Wii U Remote that needs a freaking token from a molten cheese canyon thing.
Meloetta waved good bye to Genesect. Mewtwo turned back into its normal form with a farting sound. Meloetta laughed at the farting sound, Mewtwo walks away.
GREAT, MORE TOILET HUMOUR! Just when we can't get enough!
ASDF Movie Guy: I was being sarcastic!
Genesect gave the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball to the manager and gave him the white Wii remote motion plus inside for a perfect replacement for the broken black Wii remote.
Why is a token like that payment for a games controller, anyhow?
"Thanks for the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball, Mr. Genesect." Said the manager. "Have fun with your new Wii remote sir."
Still don't get it.
Genesect charged his money for the broken remote and the scary token that looks like the iron core of venus but the size of a gumball for the white Wii remote and placed it in the bag and flied back to the state room.
SPELLING ERROR! It's 'flew', not 'flied'!
Genesect puts 2 double A-Batteries in the white Wii remote and synchronized the remote to the Wii U and finally plays Super Genesect 64 for the Wii U and continued to play and tightened the strap to Genesect's purple mechanical wrist from the white Wii remote. When he plays the mini game that Genesect unlocked, He shaked the wii remote really hard so he can unlock a miracle bomb.
(Genesect frowns.)
So, I went through all that crap just to get a bomb in a game? Sounds realistic to me...
Genesect finally unlocked the miracle bomb to knock out all the enemies instantly and Genesect lived happily ever after.
And that's the end of this fic!
Finally!
So, what did I think of this fic?
(Genesect scowls.)
Just like my first review, it was TERRIBLE! I mean, spelling errors everywhere, grammar mistakes all over the place, things that could have been cut down a lot, like: ' iron core of venus but the size of a gumball', and all other things!
The story didn't make sense, no explanation at all in the story or weak explanation, like Mewtwo's homelessness excuse, characters out of character, monsters that were stupid!
And the cheese! What was this fic's obsession with CHEESE?!
IT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE!
(Genesect slams the table.)
I'm rating this fic 1 star out of five. It was an attempt at comedy that did okay at some points, but ultimately, this is a bad fic, end of story.
(Genesect blinks.)
I'm going to play some Ace Attorney, and maybe some Mario to calm me down. In the mean time, I'll see you guys on the next Angry Bug Show!
(Genesect walks off.)
Mentioned things:
Angry Joe: Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 (partially)
The Shining
Step-Brothers
Portal
Doctor Who
SimonHDS90
Oblivion: The Elder Scrolls Series
Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
Guardians of the Galaxy
ASDF Movie Guy
A/N: I guess this is kinda of tribute thing, I think? Anyway, the bit with Genesect talking about Keldeo was planned from the start. It's a reaction to Matthias Unidostres' fan fiction departure. I just want to say thank you to Matthias, since with his support with my stories, I would given up on some of them a long time ago, like KeldeoXMeloetta Sixty Oneshots and Prompts. I know this is kinda late but I was on holiday lately, and I didn't have time to finish this off. So, to Matthias, thank you for the support, and good luck with what ever you will do.