A/N: Sorry it took so long, been uber busy. I hate how life gets in the way of my writing. By the way, don't get the flu. It really sucks!

Bella

Chapter 26

Change is uncomfortable but it is for the best, right? We all have choices in life; its one thing or another and it doesn't always turn out the way we want. I made my choice and that was Edward. I was willing to risk everything to give him a second chance. Why? Because I am madly in love with him and no matter how I played it out in my head, I always would be in love with him.

I wish that I figured it out earlier instead of putting Ryan through so much. I actually felt bad for him falling in love with me as if it was my fault. I loved Ryan, in my own way, but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough for me because in the back of my mind I would be thinking of one person. Edward.

Ryan took the news better than I expected which made my guilt grow to the size of a large balloon that sat in the pit of my stomach. He explained he understood, as I looked him in the eye and told him I couldn't go back to California. The air in the room was stifling, nearly choking me to death while I spoke.

"I love him Ryan," I said quietly as I stared into his blue eyes. He blinked profusely, probably to stop what I hoped were not tears because if he started to cry, I would too.

"I figured as much," he said as he leaned his head back into his seat with a sigh. The fabric of the seatbelt rubbed uncomfortably against my hips as I shifted nervously in my seat. This was probably the most awkward conversation I have ever had in my life. Well, next to the one Mom gave me about the birds and the bees.

"I didn't expect this to happen. I mean, I didn't come here for this." I tried to explain but I knew I was digging myself further into my own grave.

"The way I see it is I have two options. I either kick his ass…" he trailed off as he looked around the plane, hiding his face from me.

I gasped in horror of the thought and his face shot around. He stared into my eyes, a pained look on his face. I gulped down the large lump that had now formed in my throat, fearing he might do something irrational.

"Or….I could just let you go and be happy." My eyes widened in shock as he stared back at me, a smile creeping up at the corners of his mouth.

"I….what?" I stammered through my confusion.

"Look Bella there is really nothing to say. I am not going to try to convince you to stay with me. If I did that, I would spend the rest of my life wondering if I just was that great of a debater to make you stay or you really loved me. I do not want to wonder if he would always be in the back of your mind. I cannot live that way, Bella. I want all of you or none at all and if you can't give that to me, I wish you nothing but the best."

I stared up into his beautiful blue eyes as tears stung my lids. Shock froze me as I turned his words over in my head. Everything he said I knew to be true and I knew he was right but I could not help but feel the guilty, especially for his understanding.

"I wish you would go back with me but that would be selfish of me. I want nothing more than your happiness, even if it means letting you go," he said as he brushed a piece of my hair that had fallen across my forehead.

That was the last memory I had of Ryan. The sadness filled my heart, making it nearly unbearably heavy as I looked around my dark, empty room. The quiet helped me think, but thinking was not necessarily a good thing.

Once Edward and Alice had dropped me off that night after dinner I immediately climbed the stairs to my room, never offering Charlie an explanation that I knew wouldn't last. It wouldn't be long before he made his way to my room to give me the third degree. I needed to find some way to explain it all to him without his parental instincts kicking in too much. My luck was running out and quick.

I wasn't sure how long I was sitting in the dark for but the knock finally came on the door. It scared me at first but I knew immediately who was on the other side. The door slowly swung open, a large shadow appearing in the doorway. I sighed as he stood in the hallway, his body motionless. He almost looked like a scary monster in a nightmare at least that is kind of, what it felt like. I was scared.

"Bella?" His voice was rough.

"Yeah Dad?" I whispered meekly as I pulled my knees into my chest.

"I think we need to talk." He flipped on the light switch, the brightness nearly blinding me.

The talk with Charlie lasted what seemed like hours as I spilled my guts to him. I couldn't keep lying to him. He deserved to know. Somewhat. I decided it would be best to leave out the part about Emmilie. Minor details.

He kept quiet through most of the talk, letting me explain my feelings and my reasoning for leaving Forks. He nodded here and there, as he listened intently as I confessed my feelings for Edward.

At the end, he sat still on the edge of my bed, staring back at me as I held my knees defensively into my chest. My heart was pounding as the seconds ticked by and he still said nothing, the anticipation nearly killing me. Was I going to be in trouble and grounded for life or was I going to be lucky yet again? I think my luck has run out.

"I will say that I am not sure I will ever understand the logic of teenage girls but I understand love Bella. I hope he treats you right sweetheart."

"Oh Dad," I said throwing myself forward, flinging my arms around his neck and hugging tightly.

"Now, now, don't go getting too excited. I said I understood love but it doesn't make up for your irresponsible behavior. You cannot just fly off to where ever you want because some stupid teenage boy has hurt you. You won't be going anywhere for a long time young lady and I hope you realize you can not go unpunished for this."

I pulled back and looked into his stern face. I nodded quickly, glad he understood and glad he wasn't upset, at least not too upset. He sighed heavily as he got to his feet, the floor creaking underneath his weight.

"It's late and you better get some rest. We will discuss your punishment tomorrow." He made his way to my door but before he left, he turned to me and smiled.

"Goodnight Dad," I said as I curled up underneath my comforter.

"Goodnight Bells. I love you." He pulled the door shut quietly and the room grew dark once more, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

-------

Charlie was right when he said I would not be going anywhere. I spent the rest of my Christmas break locked up in the house catching up on reruns of Golden Girls and Andy Griffith. Not exactly the way I pictured the rest of my break. Nevertheless, it was worth it because tomorrow I would finally see Edward. It was the first day back at school and it would be the first time I would be able to see him since my punishment.

It was hard to fall asleep that night and the next morning I woke up nearly thirty minutes before I was supposed to be awake. I jumped out of bed, wide-awake and crept down the hall quietly towards the bathroom for a nice hot shower.

After the shower, I made my way back to my room, noticing the house was eerily quiet. Usually Charlie was already out of bed by now with the rich aroma of coffee beans brewing wafting up towards my room, waking me from a deep slumber.

I closed my door behind me quietly and immediately went to my closet in search of something fantastic to wear. It was not an extraordinary day except for the fact that it was my first day back to school in Forks in nearly six months. Not to mention this was going to be the first time seeing my boyfriend in nearly a week.

I pulled back the door of my dark closet and peered inside, sighing as I looked through the clothes. I tugged at sleeves of itchy sweaters, flannel shirts, overgrown and over-washed t-shirts. I suddenly wished that Alice were here. She could dress me in a matter of minutes.

I was beginning to become frustrated at my lack of fashion sense, which never seemed to bother me until now. I looked down at my pale yellow towel that I wrapped around me as I exited the shower and I threw myself backwards on my bed, moaning loudly. The springs squeaked underneath my weight like bad brakes on an old car. I heard footsteps coming down the hall, which I assumed was Charlie coming to wake me for school. I heard them stop in front of my door accompanied by a light tap and I called for him to enter as I sat up.

To my surprise it was not Charlie, it was Megan. She pushed my door open very slowly, a smile spread across her face as she stepped into my room. I held my towel around me tightly, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"I am sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to interrupt you but I heard you out in the hallway. Are you alright?" She said as she leaned against the doorjamb still smiling.

"Yes. No." I sighed loudly as I got to my feet, a draft from the hall blowing into the room and sending chills up my spine. "I can't seem to find anything to wear to school."

"What's wrong with what you normally wear?" She inquired a confused look on her face.

"Because…it's…oh you wouldn't understand." I sputtered like an old car as I turned towards my closet.

"I know we haven't really been able to get to know each other that well but I want to let you know that I am here for you if you need me. So if it's something I can help you with…let me know?" She smiled and turned to leave the room but I yelled to her before she left.

"Well, maybe you can help them. I just feel…stupid. It is a big deal. It's my first day back to school here and the first time seeing Edward since I got grounded."

"We can look through my closet for something if you would like." She waved me over and I reluctantly headed towards the door. I went through my mind, thinking about the outfits that Megan had worn over the few times that I had seen her and decided she had decent enough taste.

I followed Megan down the hall towards the bedroom she shared with Charlie. I got a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach as I entered. Thoughts of my mother in this room ran through my head as I looked around but it was nothing like it had been when she lived here.

The large bed sat in the middle of the room covered by a comforter the color of asparagus, neatly made. A picture of my mother sat next to the bed on a wooden side table. I assumed that was my father's side. A more modern painting, which looked a lot like a five-year old painted it, replaced the old country side painting that once hung above the bed. The room itself was just much more modern. Meg called my name from the closet. I followed her voice and stopped behind her as she pulled the closet doors wide open.

The closet was a small closet, about the same size as mine was but had nearly two times the amount of clothes mine held. There was a colorful array of clothing of many different fabrics hanging from inside. Meg pushed some of the colorful sleeves aside and looked through a couple of sweaters and shirts, nothing that looked appealing.

"Well Bella, what did you have in mind?" Meg said as she stepped aside and leaned against the wall, a smug look on her face as I stood in shock.

"I…I don't even know." I stepped forward towards the closet and fingered a pale blue long sleeved shirt. The fabric was soft and worn. It made me think of my mother. She used to wear soft clothes, the fabric softened from the many washes, smelling of fresh laundry and cherries.

I pushed aside soft fabrics, itchy fabrics, sweaters, t-shirts, jackets, jeans. I was overwhelmed as I pawed through the clothes, slowly looking it over before passing it up for another piece. My fingers finally landed on a soft sweater, a deep ruby red with a v-neck. I looked it over carefully and pulled it from the closet, examining it further, turning it over.

"I love that sweater," Meg said softly as she watched me.

"She was wearing that sweater when we first met," Charlie said from the open door. He was holding a steaming mug of what I assumed was coffee. He wiggled his mustache playfully and Meg laughed.

"I was just helping her find something to wear," Meg said made her way over to Charlie. She slipped her arm behind Charlie, leaned up, and kissed his cheek gently.

She whispered to him quietly, her long jet-black hair falling across her face, hiding her beautiful auburn skin. Charlie chuckled, a deep low sound coming from his throat and he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

I turned back towards the closet, embarrassed by their complete lack of shyness for showing affection. I was surprised at how often my father was affectionate with her, noting that he had never been that way with my mother. I pulled the sweater to my chest quickly and made my way towards the door wear Charlie and Meg were still standing, her arms still wrapped around him.

"Thanks Meg, I think this will work." I said shyly as I shimmied past them, trying not to interrupt their conversation.

"Not a problem, Bella. Anytime," She replied. I turned to look at her as I pushed open my door and she winked at me before I slipped into my room, closing the door firmly behind me.

I exhaled deeply as I leaned back against the door. A faint giggle from the hallway floated through the thin wooden door and I pushed away to finish getting dressed. A dark pair of blue boot cut jeans lie across my chair and I picked them up. I decided it would be perfect to pair with the scarlet sweater and slipped them both on quickly.

I searched through my duffel bag from California for a pair of calf boots as dark as coal. They finally revealed themselves underneath mounds of dirty clothes and other shoes. I pulled the boots on and zipped them up, the cool leather pulling tight against my skin.

I was nervous and my body shook gently as I headed for the door, fumbling with the doorknob as I made my way to the bathroom. Thoughts of hairstyles ran through my head as I remembered looking through Alice' fashion magazines with her one day. Experimentation was not welcome today, at all, so I got to work with just the basics I knew I could do.

I got to work on my hair, drying it first then curling it just as Alice showed me. Alice always complained that I never dressed up, but today I was going to go all out. I pulled my make up bag from underneath the sink and poured its contents out onto the counter. Eyeliners, foundations, eye shadows and lip-glosses littered the counter.

Once I had finished I smiled back at myself in the mirror, pleased at my reflection. I headed back into the hallway and down the creaky old stairs towards the kitchen. Charlie sat at the table, newspaper in hand. He looked up from his paper as soon as he heard the clicking of my boots on the linoleum and smiled thoughtfully at me.

"You look nice Bells. What's the occasion?" He said folding the paper back up with a loud crinkling noise and placed it on the table.

"No reason, Dad. It's just my first day back to school so…I just kind of wanted to look nice today." I said as I pulled a glass from the cupboard and filled it with orange juice.

He scrunched up his nose, nodded his head as he thought about my logic, finally assuming it made sense and he got to his feet. He stepped towards me, his heavy boots echoing throughout the kitchen as he put his arm around my shoulder. He leaned down, kissed my cheek gently and mumbled, "I love you" before heading out of the kitchen.

I couldn't help but recognize how different Charlie had become over the last couple of months. Meg had really changed him and all for the better. He was happier than I had ever seen him before and it warmed my heart. How cheesy, I thought as I rolled my eyes.

The ride to school was nerve racking. All I could think about was seeing him. I was nervous, excited and happy all at the same moment. The mixture of emotions was nearly too much to handle. I felt like I was going to explode like a firework.

I pulled into the parking lot after what felt like hours and found my usual parking spot open. The car idled in the spot for a moment before I turned the car off and grabbed my bag. I looked out the window and noticed the sky, which was dreary and gray. At least it was not raining. It might mess up my hair. I rolled my eyes as I thought about what I had just said. I was going to hurt Alice for turning me into a full-fledged girl.

I quickly scrambled out of the car, pulling my bag over my shoulder and heading towards where Edward and Alice usually hung out in the mornings. The bag bounced rhythmically against my hip as I walked slowly through the parking lot, scanning it for my two favorite people.

I spotted them near the normal spot, Alice sitting on the back of Edward's car and Edward leaning against the side, looking aimlessly down at his shoes. I stepped carefully towards them, trying not to make a noise when I stepped into a pothole. My ankle twisted and I screamed in pain as I went down, the contents of my bag spilling out in front of me.

Edward and Alice immediately looked up and they both came running when they noticed me. My face turned bright red and burned hot as I got to my hands and knees. I felt familiar hands grab underneath my arm and pull me up quickly.

My hands stung with bits of asphalt stuck into my skin. I glanced down at the palms of my hand and noticed my skin was a bright pink and was threatening to bleed. I lifted my eyes and was face to face with the most beautiful face I had ever seen. I felt dizzy at the site and I felt my knees get weak.

Edward grabbed my arm again, steadying me on my feet just as I felt a heavy object hit my side, nearly knocking me to the ground again if it wasn't for Edward grabbing my arm. A blur of midnight colored hair spun around me, tiny arms enrapturing me and squeezing me until a tiny squeak burst from my throat. She pulled back and giggled loudly as I struggled to put myself back together.

"Hell Alice. You nearly killed my girlfriend," Edward said winking at me playfully. My heart fluttered. He had never called me his girlfriend aloud and in public. I felt my face blush, probably a deep shade of pink and I smiled up at him lovingly.

"I am so glad to see you. I thought you might not show," She said, sadness in her voice.

"What? Why would I not come to school?" I asked apparently confused.

"Well, I just thought that you might have changed your mind and went back to California," She said looking down.

"Of course I wouldn't do that. I promise that if I decide to leave I will tell you next time. Besides, Charlie said I am not allowed to go anywhere for a long time and I believe that includes running off back to California." I smiled back at her reassuringly and a small smile curled up at the corners of her mouth.

Edward stepped towards me and I immediately wrapped my arms around his waist, locking my fingers securely. I nuzzled into his chest, taking in his smell, which was my favorite smell. I moaned happily, as he gently squeezed me and kissed the top of my head.

I pushed back from Edward, drinking him in like a tall glass of water. He was beautiful as usual in dark jeans and a jade green button down shirt, which made his green eyes sparkle even more. His bronze hair perfectly disheveled, beckoned me to run my fingers through it.

"I've missed you so much," I said pushing myself back into his chest.

"You have no idea," he murmured into my hair quietly.

"Come on you two, get a room." Alice huffed.

I turned to her, laughed and grabbed her arm, pulling her off towards the science building. Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I sighed happily. The feeling of being able to reveal out relationship to everyone felt as if I had a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.

We walked down the hall, the students scattering about quickly like rats as we headed towards our class. We had all managed to get the same science class this semester, our last and final semester.

My day went smoothly until after lunch when I ran into Jessica in my PE class. When she saw me, she seemed startled at my presence but I pretended to ignore her completely until she approached me while we were doing laps on the track.

I was half expecting her to be a bitch, complaining about what a horrible friend I was but instead she was as sweet as apple pie. She greeted me with a hug, which was awkward for me but she didn't seem to notice. She asked me where I had gone and what I was doing in California before switching the subject to her and Mike, of course.

"Jess? I have to stop you," I huffed out as we jogged together side by side around the track.

"What's wrong? Are you ok?" She said her voice full of concern. I stopped abruptly and a boy nearly ran into the back of me but I jumped back just in time.

"I am fine." I attempted to catch my breath again before I spoke.

"What is it?" She placed her hand on my shoulder as I bent down, hands on my knees, to catch my breath.

"I just wanted you to know that I don't care." I muttered as I stared down at the red asphalt of the track.

"What?" Her voice was full of shock. She pulled her hand away as I stood up straight to look at her.

"I said that I don't care. Not only did you not even care where I went, you did not care what happened to me. You never bothered to call or find out where I was and to top it all off you even tried hitting on Edward. You don't have to explain yourself; Edward told me all about it."

"I…I tried to go by your house but it was…" She stammered, trying to think of excuses but I cut her off.

"Like I said, I don't care so if you don't mind, please stop pretending you care one ounce about what happened to me and where I've been. I'd appreciate it if you just stopped pretending to care about anyone but yourself."

That was it. I turned and left her standing in the middle of the track while people gave her dirty looks as they ran around her. I raised my head up as I ran, feeling satisfied for sticking up for myself after so long of her selfishness. I was free.

The rest of the week went on without a hitch without any sign of Jessica. I assumed she must have transferred from the class. I spotted her once in the cafeteria, sitting with Mike Newton and Lauren Mallory. She raised her head as Edward, Alice and I entered the cafeteria and immediately turned away when we caught eyes.

On Thursday morning, I convinced Charlie to let me off my punishment. It had been two weeks already and I debated my punishment, which Meg joined in, and my sentence reduced to two weeks. The release from my dull prison overjoyed me as the thought of being able to spend one night with my boyfriend and best friend was present.

After school on Friday, we headed to Port Angeles for a movie before we headed back to Forks. I followed behind Edward and Alice in my car as we headed back towards the house. We pulled into the clearing where the house sat and I stared up at the large house. I was slightly nervous, knowing the last time I had been here was when I caught Edward and Rosalie.

I pulled into my usual spot, hesitating to get out as I continued to stare up at the house. It was dark, no lights on in the house and I realized that no one was home. A tap on my window startled me and I turned to see Edward and Alice smiling back at me.

Alice grabbed the door and yanked it open. I grabbed for my bag just as Alice was pulling me from the car. I stumbled from the car, nearly dropping my bag in the midst. Luckily, I grabbed the door to balance myself and stood up right. Alice and Edward both snickered at me but I gave them a cold look and they both stopped immediately.

Alice laughed again as she grabbed my arm and pulled me up towards the house, Edward trailing behind us. All was quiet except for the jingling of Edward's keys as he followed behind us up the stairs. He pushed past us towards the door as Alice and I stood arm and arm while we waited for him to unlock the door.

Immediately greeted with the smell of pine and a faint smell of gingerbread as soon as we entered the living room. Even though it was dark, I could still see the garland and the strings of lights that hung from the high ceilings. No one had bothered to clear the Christmas decorations, probably because everyone was in a hurry to get to Seattle.

"We haven't bothered to clean up since Christmas," Edward said as he rocked back and forth on his heels as he watched me look around the room. "I think that was Alice's job."

"Hey! You know I don't clean up very well." Alice huffed in defense.

"No but you can sure dirty up a place real quick."

"Why would anyone want to take down Christmas decorations anyways? They are so lovely," she said as she fingers a crystal icicle that hung halfway up the tree. She bent down quickly and plugged the lights in and the whole room light up, the ceiling sparkling like stars on a clear night.

I gasped in awe as I looked around the room. The twinkling lights shone through the crystal icicles, casting rainbows across the walls. Outside the sun was ducking behind the trees like a child before bedtime; linger amongst the treetops for a little longer before it went to sleep for the night.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Alice said as she gazed around the room at her handiwork. "You see why I wasn't ready to take down the decoration?" She exhaled loudly, a look of satisfaction on her face.

A sudden knock on the door prematurely interrupted us. Alice leapt from the floor like a frog escaping death and raced towards the front door. She squealed loudly and I heard a male voice.

Alice suddenly appeared in the living room, Jasper by her side. He was wearing a grin that spread from ear to ear as he stepped further into the room. I furrowed my brow in confusion as I looked back at them and they all laughed.

"I thought that Jasper went to school in…" I started but Alice interrupted me.

"College starts later than high school." She squeezed his arm and he looked down at her and smiled. "He has to go back next week but for now we are going to spend as much time as we can together."

"Hi Bella," Jasper said with a small wave of his hand.

"Hi Jasper, nice to see you again."

"Yeah. Glad you are back. "

"Me too," Alice chimed in. "Now I have someone to go shopping with." She bounced excitedly up and down, as if she were a small child who just received a new toy. Jasper let out a sigh of relief and she elbowed him gently in his ribs.

"What are you two doing tonight?" Edward inquired as he took a seat near the window, staring out amongst the trees.

"We are going for dinner and there is a back to school party going on at someone's house tonight. I did not even think about doing a back to school party. Too bad because I love parties."

"As we can all see," I said motioning to all the decorations. "You can't have another party here unless you planned on cleaning up this mess," I pointed out and she frowned.

"I already told you I didn't want to destroy such beauty. I mean look at it. Wonderful."

"If you say so, Al," I mumbled as I cocked my eyebrow at her.

"Well we have to go, we have reservation."

"Reservations? At what the local diner?" Edward joked and Alice shot him an icy look.

"Come on Jazz," she said as she pulled him to the door. "Don't wait up," she yelled behind her as the door slammed shut loudly.

"Was it really necessary to tease her?" I said throwing Edward a smug grin. He got to his feet, stalking towards me slowly like an animal stalking its prey and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Course I did. She loves the attention." I leaned my head back and looked up at the ceiling; the ceiling peppered with little lights.

"They are so beautiful, like little stars." I suddenly felt Edward's warm lips on the hollow of my neck, lingering for a long minute before raising his head.

"Not as beautiful as you are," he whispered into my hair as I brought my head forward. I stared up into his eyes, the dim lights dancing across his eyes as he smiled down at me.

My heart pounded violently in my chest like a drum, beating faster and faster with each passing second. We stared into each other's eyes silently; the tension in the room was agonizing.

He cupped my face gently in his hands as he leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on my lips. My lips tingled gently as he pulled away, the intense magnetism obvious. I felt my knees begin to shake and I prayed to God to keep me standing. I didn't want to embarrass myself right now.

I exhaled loudly in frustration, lust coursing through my veins like adrenaline. A lock of golden brown hair fell across his forehead and my fingers twitched to push it away. I slowly reached up and pushed the hair back, holding my hand gently to his head.

The desire to intertwine my fingers into his hair became unbearable and I thrust my hands up into his hair, knit my fingers through his hair that felt like silk. He moaned softly and I reached up and kissed him, harder than I had anticipated and he moaned again, this time into my mouth.

His grip tightened around my waist, pulling me up gently, closer to his mouth. I opened my mouth slightly, letting my tongue jet in and out of my mouth and gently ran my tongue along his bottom lip. My tongue met his and I gently massaged it, a small moan escaping my mouth.

"Bella," he breathed in between kisses. I tugged gently on his hair and he tilted his head back in pleasure as he pulled me closer into his tight rigid body. I kissed his neck frantically, planting small wet kisses along his collarbone as I felt his whole body tense up. He thrust his hips into me and I could feel the hardness in his pants, alerting me to his excitement.

"Bella," he said again as he pulled his head forward and looked down into my eyes. His eyes were dark with lust as he brushed my hair back out of my face.

"I love you Edward," I whimpered, pushing myself into his hips, the tightness in his pants growing. His eyes rolled back and I kissed along his jaw line all the while gently massaging his hair.

"I love you too Bella," he said, his voice rough and distracted. He kissed me roughly, nibbling on my lip as he held me tightly with both his hands.

Gently I pushed Edward and he stumbled back hurriedly, hitting the wall near the fireplace hard. The wall vibrated and a picture frame fell to the floor, the glass shattering. The noise echoed loudly, bouncing off the walls like a tennis ball. We stopped immediately at the noise and I gasped in horror.

"It's ok," Edward said as he stared down at the broken glass, his grip on me releasing.

"I am so sorry," I said backing away from him. He stepped towards me and grabbed my wrist, pulling me back towards him.

"It's just a picture frame Bella," He said cupping my cheek with his hand. I stared down at the picture but he pushed my face back towards him, a bright smile on his face.

"But Esme…" I said nervously, suddenly feeling guilty for being so careless.

"Don't worry about it," he soothed and leaned down, planting a soft kiss on my lips. The kiss lit my lust again, like a burning fire it rose up in my chest, warming my body.

I kissed him back, more aggressively and he spun me around. He backed me up slowly, until my back was flat against the wall. We continued with the passionate kisses as I ran my hands down his chest, stopping at his hips and hooked my fingers through his belt loops, pulling his hips into me. He groaned in pleasure as I held his hips to mine, his grip on my waist tightening.

He reached down, pulled my thigh up, holding it next to his leg, and ground his hips into me. I felt his excitement grind against me and I gasped in shock as I hooked my leg around him, pulling him towards me.

He surprised me as he pulled at my other leg, lifting me from the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he moved his hands underneath me, gently squeezing my butt as he pressed into me again.

I squeezed my thighs together as I held onto him and he dug his fingers into my butt, pushing me higher. I felt his hardness, the heat between my legs burning with desire. I wanted him; I wanted all of him.

Finally, after what felt like hours of kissing, I felt my back pull away from the wall as he carried me slowly towards the couch, our lips never breaking our kiss. He leaned down slowly, my head touching the soft cushion of the couch, the rest of me following. I felt his body press down on me, his knee wiggling its way in between my legs as he leaned over me. The dim light of the Christmas lights cast a certain glow about his face, making him look nearly angelic. I smiled up at him, locked my hands behind his head and pulled him towards me, embracing him in another kiss.

I felt his hands creep up my side, pacing gently up and down until his fingers touched bare skin at the hem of my shirt. He hesitated for a moment before he slipped his hand underneath my shirt, gliding up towards my breast. My breathing hitched as we continued to kiss, my mind only thinking about his hand that was hovering directly underneath my breast.

His hand was warm and firm as it pushed my bra up gently, his warm fingers splaying over my breast, encompassing it completely. I moaned out in pleasure, thrusting my hips up into him as his hand pressed harder down onto my chest.

My fingers raced towards his shirt, fumbling with the buttons, slowly unbuttoning them as I tried to focus on getting them open and not the fact that his hand was on my breast. Eventually the last button popped open and I pushed his shirt back, revealing his perfect warm skin. I ran my hands down his warm muscular chest, over his nipple and I could feel the thumping of his heart against my palm. I ran my hand further over his stomach, his body growing tighter. I stopped at the waist of his jeans, hovering over the button, waiting for the right moment.

His gently kneaded my breast, the pressure almost perfect before his other hand made its way to my other breast and mimicked the other one. I slowly parted my lips and he entered my mouth, massaging my tongue firmly, more frantic than before. A cool breeze floated over my bare stomach, chills vibrating up my back, shaking me gently as I felt the goose bumps rise on my arms.

I slipped two fingers underneath the waistband of his jeans, his skin soft and hot to the touch. I gently unbutton his pants, unzipping them quickly until I could feel the fabric of his boxer briefs against my fingers. I ran the back of my fingers up and down while he pushed himself further into my hand, wanting more pressure. I immediately felt his excitement against my hand and he sucked in air quickly in apparent shock.

His kneading of my breast sped up as my hand moved quicker over his rock hard erection. He broke our kiss and immediately brought his mouth to my neck, sucking and kissing the sensitive skin, leaving me gasping for breath while my mind clouded over.

I felt one of his hands leave my breast, gently gliding down my bare stomach and stopping at my jeans. I felt a quick tug and suddenly my jeans were loose around my waist, his arm hooked around inside them, gently caressing my butt. He shimmed my jeans down until they rest at the tops of my thighs. My mind was racing in so many directions as I continued to focus on his hands and my hands. The rubbing, kissing touching was making me go nearly insane with lust.

I quickly moved my hands to the sides of his jeans, pushing them down further while he kissed my neck hurriedly. He brought his lips back to mine, his tongue immediately finding mine once again.

I pushed his shirt back off his shoulders, the muscles in his arms flexing as he held himself over me. He pulled the shirt off the rest of the way, throwing it carelessly to the side. He pressed his chest into me, our bare skin touching, nearly igniting on contact. The heat between us grew with every kiss and touch that I thought I might burst into flames at any moment.

He pulled his mouth from mine as he raised my shirt over my head, my bare chest exposed to him. He slowly kissed his way down the middle of my chest as he gently massaged both my breasts in his hands, only stopping when he came to my belly button. He sat up and tugged at my jeans as they slowly made their way down over my knees, calves and finally my feet before he dropped them to the floor in a pile.

I lay before him in nothing but my underwear as his eyes scanned over my body. The icicles from the tree cast rainbows across his bare chest as he sat over me, a crooked smile on his face. He reached down gently and caressed my cheek with his thumb as I watched his chest rise and fall in an attempt to slow his breathing.

"I love you Bella," he murmured before he leaned down and kissed my cheek softly. I was sure I started to blush but was glad it was dark enough that he could not see.

"I love you too, Edward," I sighed happily, as I gripped his arm in my hand, the muscles tense.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked calmly as he searched my face for a sign of doubt but I nodded quickly my desire to continue. He reached down, painfully slow, slipped his fingers under the elastic of my underwear and tugged down until they were up and over my feet. He dropped them down next to my jeans before sliding his own off and dropping them in the same place.

I couldn't help but be nervous, it was my first time and I wasn't sure what I was doing at this point. He climbed on top of me, positioning him in between my legs adding to the already growing heat.

I held my breath, snapping my eyes shut as I waited. He kissed my jaw sweetly while I waited, the anticipation nearly killing me. My body began to ache as I raked my fingers down his back. Edward threw his back and hissed quietly before he dropped his head, his eyes closed. I was afraid I had hurt him but when he opened his eyes, I realized it had the exact opposite effect.

His eyes were dark as he stared down into mine, my heart racing in my chest as he positioned himself between my legs and lowered himself down into me. My muscles tensed as he pressed inside me. I immediately felt a sharp pain as he slowly pushed himself inside of me. I gasped in pain and he stopped suddenly, holding his body perfectly still over mine.

"I'm sorry. Bella? Look at me," he mumbled after I hadn't responded.

I opened my eyes slowly, my vision blurred as I looked up into his face. The pain stung like thousands of needles, pressing into my skin and I felt the burn of tears on my lids. I bit my lip as I tried to hold back the tears and nodded slowly for him to continue. He continued again, before he began thrusting gently, the pain subsiding with each lunge.

The heat between my legs grew to an all time high, the pleasure growing with every thrust. I pulled him closer to me, our bare chests touching, his heart pounded like a drum. He kissed me wildly as I let my mind run loose as well as my inhibitions. I hiked my legs around his firm butt, pulling him closer to me. He reared his head back as he moaned loudly, sweat beading across his chest, glistening in the dim light. I stared up at his face, studying his chiseled jaw as it drew tight, his teeth clenched and his eyes squeezed shut. A pained look crossed his face as he began to shake. He groaned again and I bit down on my lip as the thrusts became more urgent, deeper.

So many different sensations overwhelmed my body, ones I had never felt before as I fell further into the unknown abyss. The thrusts grew quicker and quicker, his moans more frequent. I moved my hips along with his, intensifying my pleasure until I couldn't hold back anymore. Heat radiated from my core, creeping outward with the sensation of a slow submersion into a warm bath until it reached my fingertips. I closed my eyes as I let the feeling overwhelm me, succumbing to the pleasure. I moaned loudly, digging my fingers into his back, a loud growl coming from his mouth as he thrust one last time before collapsing onto my chest.

I gently caressed his sweat laden golden hair and he moaned softly. His body lay heavy on my chest, his cheek sticking to my damp skin as he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me to him tightly. I twirled his disheveled hair lightly around my fingers while I listened to his heavy panting finally die down into deep long breaths.

He turned his face, his chin on my chest as he looked up into my eyes lovingly and grinned widely. I smiled back at him as I played with his hair and he kissed my damp skin. He pulled himself up and rolled over next to me, pulling me down onto his chest. Our naked skin gently pressed against each other, still warm and sweaty as we closed our eyes and drifted off into the most blissful sleep I have ever had.

A/N: I hope it's how everyone hoped and imagined. Review relentless my loves! I enjoy all of your feedback! It warms my heart.

~J