Characters: Shepard, Garrus, Miranda, and Conrad mothereffin' Verner!
Word Count: 531
Rating: K+
Author's Note: Set in a ME3, this is a scene that I'm pretty sure will never come to pass sadly... Still for the 100 Themes Challenge on dA.

69. Annoyance

"Shepard," Garrus began, annoyance clear in his voice, "I know we're having a hard time recruiting people for the cause, but are we really so desperate as to take on that idiot?"

The Commander rubbed at her weary eyes. "Yes, yes we are." She looked over at where Conrad Verner bounced from foot to foot in his fake N7 armor. Miranda, who up until that point had been giving him a lecture of some sort, snatched the M-8 Avenger from his hands before stalking over to the pair.

"This is ridiculous Shepard!" the XO hissed, "Did we really have to take this imbecile with us?"

"The 'imbecile' is standing right here," Verner huffed as he came to stand next to Shepard.

"We're going to have to get his feet wet at some point, and this mission is as good as any," Shepard quickly said before another argument could start. "It'll be easy. We go in, you get the information we need while the rest of us keep the mercs off of you. I want to keep a low profile for as long as possible, so we're going in quiet. Garrus, find a nest and set up shop. I don't want anyone getting within ten feet of Lawson, got it?"

"Understood Shepard."

"Good. Verner, you're on me. I want you watching my six. Think you can handle that?"

"Hells yeah! I'd do a better job if Miss Cold would give me my gun back though."

Shepard covered up her laugh with a cough as icy, murderous eyes were turned on the man. "Call her out of her name again and I won't be held responsible for what she does to you. Miranda, give him back his gun." The older woman scowled, but reluctantly handed over the weapon. "Okay, so-"

"Alright guns up," Conrad cut in as he switched the assault rifle's fire rate to full auto, "let's do this. COONNNRAAAAAAD VERNER!" he belted out the last part of his sentence like some type of ancient war cry as he kicked in the door to the Eclipse base and rushed in.

Shepard, Garrus, and Miranda all stood there, mouths agape.

"Oh my God... He just, he just ran in," Miranda breathed, stunned. "It's like he didn't even hear a word that you said..."

Why did I think this could work? Shepard thought as she slapped a gloved hand to her head. "Save him!" she ordered when nobody made a move towards the door.

"Do we have to?" Garrus whined over the gunfire that erupted from the building.

"Yes!" Shepard growled, wrapping herself in a blue corona as she geared up for a Charge. He might've been an idiot that deserved his fate, but she'd be damned if he reaped the fruits of his idiocy on her watch.

"Peek-a-boo bitches!"

"Get down you dumbass! A sniper has a red dot pointed at the back of your hea- Garrus!"

"Sorry Shep, but it was worth a shot. Heh heh, get it? 'Worth a shot?'"

"I'm working with a bloody bunch of idiots."

A/N: Leeeeeerooooooy! Jenkins. Bahaha! Conrad is an annoying little bastard, but he's weaseled his way into my heart. "You heartworm, you." (sorry, I've been playing too much DA2 lol) If I could recruit him, he'd totally be a staple in my ground team :p