Chapter 26: Pain and Love Go Hand in Hand

Meredith woke up a few days later, she saw practically the whole surgical unit by her bed. She was taken back for a second, but then started to laugh.

"Well what do I owe this surprise to?"

Everyone was silent and was looking at Meredith.

"What?"

Derek was the first to speak up

"Y-You're talking. Yesterday you were just doing small words but now your forming sentences and making sense. You're…almost Meredith again,"

Meredith started to laugh
"I've always been Meredith, just silent and mentally unstable for a few days. But I haven't changed. Unless…there is something that you guys aren't telling me,"

Meredith's smile went away as she scanned everyone's face. They were all full of news that they didn't want to tell.

"Derek, if you don't tell me right now, I swear I will get our of this bed and kick your ass…personally,"

Tears were starting to fill his eyes.

"Derek Shepherd, I swear I will-"

"You've got another tumor that may be cancerous on the occipital lobe of you brain that is pressing up against your spine. The doctors need to run more tests to confirm if it is cancer, but either way they need to operate ASAP," Christina spoke up.

Meredith just stared at them all.

"Why?"

Everyone was taken back

"What do you mean why Meredith?" asked Addison

Meredith sighed

"I've been in and out on consciousness for the past 5 days. I've hardly been able to communicate with my kids, especially with the one who was also affected by the shooting. I've now woken up, being able to speak, which is almost a medical miracle in it's self, and now you guys want to tell met that I may have a tumor in my head that will cause blindness and paralization if they don't operate? And if they do I may still be blind and paralyzed? Oh and don't forget that it may be cancerous too!"

The room was silent. Meredith just shook her head

"Just go,"

"But Mer,"

"OUT…NOW!"

The room slowly filed out, except Christina and Derek who stayed back

"I said out. I'm a patient and you can't deny my wishes and my rights. GO!"

Christina squeezed Meredith's shoulder and left with a few tears falling from her cheek, but Derek didn't budge

"Derek go!"

"Mer I'm not leaving,"

"Derek if you don't go right now…"

"What Mer what? You're acting like this everyone's fault; especially mine. Trust me, I've already been through that stage. What if I had been there when you got shot? What if I had pushed you out of the way and saved you? What if I had operated on you, then maybe you wouldn't be sitting here with a possibility of cancer, which as you know, is very had to cure? What if everything Mer? Trust me I know should have been there for you, but I wasn't. So please, don't blame this on me, you, or anyone else but that guy who decided to pull that trigger and tried to kill you,"
Derek was gasping in between tears. Meredith just sat there, staring up at him, looking for words.
"Derek I wasn't trying to blame everyone. I just want you to go. Please? I need time to think this over,"
Derek nodded and headed towards the door

"Do you want to see the kids?"

Meredith looked over to him

"Do they know?"

Derek nodded

"Not now, not for a while,"
He nodded again, and opened the door,

"Oh and Meredith,"

"Hmmm?"

"I love you,"

He closed the door behind him, closed his eyes, and started to cry and deep and painful cry. Inside the room, Meredith was also crying, not only for what she has to go through, but also for what all her friends and family will have to go through too.

----

Izzy sat in Meredith's office drinking her coffee. It had been a while since she had actually spent some quality time with her friend with their demanding jobs, husbands, and their soon-to-be-children. Izzy put her hand on her stomach. She was going to tell Meredith 5 days ago about the pregnancy. Her and Alex had been trying for a while, and this time, it worked. It had been one of the happiest moments of Izzy's life when she found out she was pregnant, and it hurt her that she couldn't spread the news. At least not yet. Taking another deep sip of her coffee, Izzy looked around. On Meredith's desk were pictures of Audrey and Jaccob playing in the backyard, of Meredith, Audrey, Jaccob and Derek at the kids 9th birthday party, Audrey and Jaccob when they were babies, Derek when he was trying to light firecrackers for the fourth of July, Meredith and Derek in front of the hospital, and of the intern 'gang' in front of the hospital. They all looked happy standing in the light blue scrubs; not knowing what lie ahead for them. A smile crept upon Izzy's face as memories came pouring in. Good and bad. Sad and happy. Dark and Twisty Meredith and Bright and Shiny Meredith. Pushy and Arrogant Christina and Kinda and Caring Christina. Ass and Jerk Alex and…well Ass and Caring Alex. Sweet and Lovable George to 'you-want-to-claw-his-eyes-out' George. But one memory would always be with Izzy. There was always a place in her heart for him; for Denny. Looking at that picture made a warm and fuzzy feeling enter Izzy's heart. All her friend's had been there for her, before and after Denny and she loved them for that. Now she had to be there for Meredith. Continuing around the office, and vase of wilted Lavender flowers sat beside the picture of Meredith and Derek. Izzy chuckled. She loved the connection between Meredith and Derek. She loved how everytime she saw Lavenders, Meredith came to mind. Meredith. That name brought kindness and protectiveness to mind. She loved Meredith, but at times she couldn't stand her. Izzy had always been there for her, but Meredith wasn't always for her. But that didn't matter. When Izzy needed her the most, she was there, and that was all that mattered. A small knock came at the door and Derek and Alex walked in. Izzy smiled and got up.

"No, you don't have to move…not yet anyway. We're were just looking for you,"

Izzy laughed

"And how did you find me here?"

Alex shrugged

"It was like the last place we looked. We even looked under gurneys and you weren't there, so we thought you'd must be here,"

Izzy rolled her eyes

"Seriously?"

Both men laughed

"No, this was actually one of the firsts. Seems like everyone who were trying to round up, they were some place where Meredith has left her mark,"

Izzy laughed

"So I take it, some of us were in an on-call room?"

Derek laughed the hardest and Alex just chuckled

"Actually, yes. We found Bailey in an on-call room,. It was kinda scary, but understandable,"

Izzy nodded

"Why were you guys looking for us?"

Derek and Alex exchanged looks

"Meredith's lab results are back,"
Izzy's face lost it's color.

"And???"

The men looked at each other again, and Derek sighed

"I kind of wanted to tell everyone together, but some of them threatened me with a tenblade. I swear surgeons can be pretty violent!"

"DEREK!"

"Okay okay…well... It's not cancerous, but it's still there. The tumor that is. We're about to go tell Meredith. Her surgery is scheduled for tomorrow,"

Izzy nodded

"Do Audrey and Jaccob know?"

"They've been told, and we're bringing them up to see their mom. We figured if they were there, Meredith wouldn't go on a rant like she did earlier,"
Izzy nodded

"So when are we going to go?"

"Everyone is up there now, they're just waiting on us,"

"SO WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WAITING FOR?"

Izzy jumped out of the chair and starting to run for the elevator. Derek looked at Alex

"What do you see in her?" he joked. Alex shrugged

"That's why I love her man. That's why I love her,"

---

"Wait so…it's NOT cancer?"

Meredith was sitting up in bed with Audrey and Jaccob by her side. Derek and Alex had just come in and explained to her, her labs.

"No, but it's a fairly large tumor Mer. There is a chance that…."

No one finished the sentence. Meredith hugged Audrey and Jaccob closer to her, and they started to cry

"Shhh, everything is going to be alright. Mommy's going to be here for you guys don't worry. I'm not going anywhere,"

The cries subsided, but the sniffles were still there. Meredith looked up. Everyone looked tired and pale, but also worried.

"Thanks…to all of you for being here for me. For us,"

Everyone smiled

"We wouldn't think of being anywhere else Mer, especially now," said Mark. Meredith smiled

"But what about your kids. And Burke….how are you guys taking all this time off?"

Burke smiled

"That's what nurse's and interns are for right? Just kidding Mer. The kids are with my parents right now. Don't worry they come to the hospital everyday to see us. Everyone is doing well and they're going back to school on Monday. Don't worry. As for all of our jobs and us… we're taking some time off. We still go in and work with our patients and do necessary surgeries or deliveries. Or if anything goes wrong, we have our pagers. All your patients have been given to the other nuero doctors seeing that Derek and you are not officially working. But you don't need to worry about that Mer. We just want you to get better and fast. The police have also been working on the case. They've got some suspects and don't worry, the guy who shot you will pay,"

Meredith smiled

"I'm so glad that I have your support from all of you. I love you guys so much, and I'm sorry I've had to put you through all this pain. The sooner I get out of here, the sooner you won't have to take care of me, I promise,"

Everyone rolled their eyes

"Grey, you may be a suck-up, but we love you. Trust me, I've got people running your suck-ups. Just get better…FAST!"

Meredith laughed

"Bailey when are you going to realize…I'M NOT AN INTERN AND I'M MARRIED!?"

"Meredith, you shouldn't be yelling,"

"Derek," Meredith gave him a warning look and he backed off.

"I'll stop calling you an intern when I die! And I don't care if you're married and have children. You're still Meredith Grey in my eyes,"
Everyone laughed. It was good to have everyone back again, even if one of the was critically sick.

"Okay guys, she needs her rest. Big surgery tomorrow. The sooner she gets it, and rests the sooner she'll be back to work," ordered Derek.

Everyone wished Meredith good luck and left, all with good feelings in their hearts.

"C'mon guys, it's almost time to go back to Uncle Burke's parents. Kiss mom goodnight, and you'll see her tomorrow morning before the surgery,"

The kids kissed Meredith and climbed down from the bed. They really hated leaving, but they knew the rules. The said good bye and walked out of the room, smiling. Derek leaned over and kissed Meredith. She forgot how good it felt to be kissed. She deepened as they continued. He ran his fingers through her hair. It was ratty and tangly from lying and sleeping all the time, but it was still felt good. They pulled away and smiled.

"We haven't done that in a while," she whispered

"No, we haven't"

Meredith smiled

"Maybe we should do it again?"

Derek smiled his McDreamy smile

"Soon Dr. Shepherd, very very soon,"

Meredith laughed

"Good night Dr. Shepherd, I love you,"
Derek kissed her again, lightly on the lips

"I love you too Dr. Shepherd,"

A/N: Wow that's the fasted I've updated since my first fic!!! But trust me this is a one time deal. I've got semester finals so thatstress and no fanfic '(. I'll have x-mas break to work on it though and my other fic so don't worry. Um...long chapter...YA! I don't think it is possible for someone to form sentences that fast...but I needed her to get better. I'm sure I scared some of you w/ the cancer...but i want her to get better...so tumor. Um...next chapter will be after the surgery and probably won't be till end of nxt wk. Love you guy!!!

Rember 3 Reviews will make me START writing the next story. PEACE, LOVE, HARMONY, and REVIEWS!!!!!!!