Chapter 25: What Sirius Saw
As far back as the shadows of his memories took him, Sirius Black could not ever remember being happy at home, nor could he remember what it was like to feel loved and valued by his parents. When he had still been young enough to crave their approval and love, he had tried to conform to their expectations, but everything about him, even as a small child, seemed to disappoint them. That was the worst thing, the thing that cut him most deeply: the cold look of disappointment in their eyes.
Cruelty he knew and could use. Rage, violence, and blackmail were ready weapons. That silent judgment of his mum and dad – judgment that always found him lacking – was the weapon that hurt him the deepest and most often. By the age of ten, Sirius had become an outcast in his family and had developed ways to protect himself against them. Useless and stupid , he thought of himself, for they often enough told him he was. When Mum set him on the Hogwarts Express at age eleven, he had been a bitter, resentful little boy who fought with anyone who gave him the slightest provocation.
Being sorted into Gryffindor had really been the final indignity against the House of Black even though it had been beyond his control. The punishment he received after that had been the worst ever. It had been the closest Dad had ever come to killing him, and Sirius never forgot it.
Before Hogwarts, he had thought there was something terribly wrong with him, that he was as stupid and useless as his parents said. Only after meeting the other students did he realize that not all parents were like his. James Potter, whom he had often met at events and parties before starting school, had nice parents who supported him instead of trying to squeeze him into some idealized role of a proper wizard.
The conflict with his parents had grown worse with each year that went by, and he sometimes thought he wouldn't live to see his seventeenth birthday. And then came the miraculous event – that Calyxa would deflect and transform his parents' displeasure.
Having friends he could depend on, friends who would go to great lengths to help him, gave him a warm feeling inside to combat the chill from his family. Before having tea with Mum, he and James had tutored Calyxa in Quidditch basics and terminology. Although she had no interest whatsoever in the sport, she had paid attention and learned enough to fake it. She and James had played their parts perfectly, subtle and smart and utterly believable, and Remus had taken the Polyjuice potion and posed as Uncle Balthazar. It had all been Remus's idea. He had planned everything, and Calyxa had performed for him. Remus was the mastermind, the evil genius, and Calyxa was the star. The rest of them did their bit, but those two really outdid themselves. Sirius imagined it was the two of them working together that did it, but it was still amazing.
When they had been planning their strategies, Remus had asked him if Mum would intercept any letters from Calyxa. Sirius hadn't thought of it, but it was another massively brilliant idea. James and Sirius used the mirrors to communicate, and Remus was in on that as well. He had helped her write a romantic letter that Mum had definitely read before giving it to Sirius. The letter had been subtly excellent, and Sirius marveled at the combined talents of Remus and the princess. Together they possessed a magnificent kind of genius.
In the letter, sweet and restrained Calyxa had written that she was worried that her parents were not convinced that Sirius was a worthy suitor. To gain her parents' favor, she had recommended several things. The first was that Sirius should come alone to pick her up for her visit. If Mum came with him, Calyxa's father might see Sirius as a weak mother's boy rather than a strong and independent young man. Shortly after receiving that letter, Sirius approached Mum and suggested that he go alone. She had agreed immediately – and told him that it was an excellent idea!
On the other hand, although he was tremendously glad and grateful that his friends were helping to make his life easier, he was also feeling melancholy. How horrible it was to live in a family that one's friends had to help you protect against! And how embarrassing that the girl willing to pretend to care for him was doing it because she was going out with one of his best mates!
When Sirius brought Calyxa home, all of them, even Mum, were a bit awed when they saw the "princess", for she was radiant! Regulus was just standing there and gawping at her like a dying Jobberknoll.
When Dad was introduced to her, Sirius and Regulus had expected him to mutter his usual gruff greeting, but he surprised both of them. Calyxa held out her hand, and Dad took it and bowed formally. It was something to see. It stunned them – they had never seen Dad bow to anyone. Mum must have coached him beforehand.
Looking sweet and a bit as if she admired him, she smiled at Dad. "Sirius is the most handsome boy I have ever seen," she said, "and I am happy to think that he will look like you when he is grown."
That made Dad smile a little. Sirius was amazed that the Great Stone Face didn't crack. "You're too kind," he said, but his voice was gentle, pleased. Mum was smiling as well, and it almost could have been a touching scene if it had been another family.
"Not at all." She held his gaze. "If it is not too forward of me to say, I hope you will honor me with a dance at the ball."
Dad was really smiling now. What was Calyxa doing? Was she flirting with him? Sirius and Regulus looked at each other with eyes wide. No one flirted with Dad. Girls were too afraid of him. Everyone was afraid of him! And he certainly didn't dance with anyone.
"It would be a pleasure," Dad said quite cordially.
"And you know our younger son, Regulus," said Mum.
As Calyxa said hello to his brother, Sirius watched Mum. The false cheer remained, but it seemed as if Mum had learned something disturbing when she saw how easily Calyxa had charmed Dad. Knowing Mum, her mind was probably racing to figure out a way to use this new knowledge to her advantage.
"Sir, ma'am," began Calyxa with a smile for both of his parents. "This is a little gift from Venice's island of Murano." From some secret pocket, she produced a large box wrapped in blue paper and tied with a sparkling silver ribbon. It must have been charmed to stay very small in her pocket, for she hadn't been carrying anything at all before.
"How thoughtful," sighed Mum as Calyxa set the package on one of the end tables. Mum untied the neat little ribbon, and the box fell open.
There was a little scene inside made entirely of colored glass. Sirius had seen enough pictures of Venice to recognize that this represented a little street scene, or canal scene, he thought with a grin. Tiny men in striped shirts and flat-brimmed hats poled little boats along the canal that flowed between graceful palaces. There were people dancing an elegant minuet in a central square, but they all wore strange, ornate masks and costumes. Atop one of the palaces was a golden lion with amber eyes and a tawny mane. Regulus reached to touch it, and the lion tried to bite his hand, and then it roared.
It was charming and very sophisticated. Sirius liked the lion, but he was sure that Mum and Dad would hate the symbol of Gryffindor. They would have preferred a Slytherin serpent, he thought.
"The lion is the symbol of Venice, of course," Calyxa told them. "And the people displayed there are dressed for the Carnival season, you see."
"What a lovely gift," said Mum.
"I am glad that it pleases you," replied Calyxa with a lovely soft tone similar to the way that her mother spoke. She looked at Sirius then with a little smile, and he smiled back.
Mum had made Regulus move into one of the spare bedrooms so that Calyxa could stay in his room, which was next to Sirius's. First, she'd opened a wide doorway between the two rooms, and then she'd decorated Regulus's room like a confection in pink, with a frilly canopy over the bed and lace everywhere. Calyxa had laughed when she saw it. "I think such a thing is for a small girl of three or four."
At dinner, Mum seated Sirius next to Calyxa, who appeared extraordinarily at ease and chatted with each member of the family with no hint of effort. While they were awaiting the main course, she reached over and straightened one of the clasps that had come undone on the front of Sirius's robes, and then she patted him possessively on the chest.
The whole event had taken less that three seconds, but Mum's eyes were gleaming afterwards, and Sirius grew even more troubled as he tried to figure out what she was planning.
As Calyxa stared out the window at the snowflakes in awe and enchantment, Mum sent a calculating look to Dad, and some wordless communication passed between them. "Sirius," she said, "you should take the princess on a short walk. A bit of a stroll around the neighborhood. To better experience the snow."
Calyxa turned to him with shining eyes. "By all means," she said with enthusiasm. "Such events are so rare in Venice."
It had grown late, and Dad would not have ordinarily allowed anyone to go outside at this hour, not after the house was locked up for the night. When Sirius fetched their cloaks, Mum accompanied him and told him to make Calyxa an offer of marriage and get her to agree no matter what he had to do or say. That way the engagement could be announced at the ball.
When he tried to complain, Mum used a curse he didn't know, and he knew he'd have no choice. He led Calyxa out onto the pavement and the light of the streetlamp. Although the house disappeared from their view, he knew that Mum and Dad could still see them. Anyway, he was going to have to ask her soon, for the curse Mum had used was beginning to strangle him.
"Whatever it is," Calyxa said as she stood with her face turned up to the thick snowflakes, "say it now. Do not suffer needlessly."
It wasn't much of a surprise that she knew, or had realized. "I have to... propose marriage to you," he gasped and was immediately able to breathe easier. "I've got no choice. I'm sorry to have to put you in this spot, and I'm really sorry for doing this to Remus."
"Marriage?" she asked in surprise.
"They're forcing me to it. I have no choice."
"Do you mean you would not want to marry me of your own free will?" she asked very seriously.
"Yes," he said without thinking. "No. I mean... that's not what I meant." She was laughing. He scowled as he felt himself being forced to his knees. "I have to ask you. No choice really." Now kneeling in the light frosting of snow on the pavement, he took her hand. "So – will you?"
"You honor me," she replied formally but with great ease, "but I cannot accept. It is impossible for me to even have a formal suitor until I am seventeen."
He heaved a huge sigh and let her take her hand away. "Good. Should I tell my Mum that?"
"Certainly. It is true. Tell her that I begged you to ask me again upon my seventeenth birthday."
"It's not the first proposal you've had," he observed as he got to his feet and brushed off his cloak.
"No," she agreed, "but it was the easiest."
They stood a few feet apart for several minutes in the hushed silence of the falling snow. For certain, those spying on them from the house would be able to recognize from their body language that his proposal had been rejected. "Are you going to tell Remus about this?"
"Yes, of course," she replied. "There is nothing to hide."
"You don't think he'll be upset?"
"No," she replied. "Why would he be upset? This was his idea."
There was no arguing with the truth; however, Sirius didn't think he'd be as understanding if it were his girlfriend on the receiving end of the proposal.
"I think that is your brother watching us from the window."
She must have shifted close enough to the house for it to reappear to her. It was a game he and Regulus had played as children, to see where they could stand and make the house disappear and reappear just by moving slightly.
When Sirius shifted closer to her, he could see Regulus in one of the windows with the lights behind him. "Yeah," he sighed, but he was really thinking, That bloody tosser, he knows I wouldn't spy on him if he were with a girl .
While he was feeling defensive, however, Calyxa's mind was moving in an entirely different way. "We must show him something worth telling," she said as she turned to face him.
They stood in profile with the streetlamp illuminating them, and Calyxa reached up to draw his head down and kiss him. It took him a second to understand what she was doing, and he reacted a little awkwardly. The truth was that he didn't have much experience in kissing girls.
He didn't really like her that way, but it was a nice kiss. He enjoyed it and thought that maybe she did as well. "Merlin," he muttered when she finished the kiss. He felt a bit strange. It was really nice to have someone here with him and to think that maybe she didn't really dislike him as much as he had originally thought. Then he thought about what had happened. "What is Remus going to say?"
"He is going to say that you owe him a great deal," she said with a little laugh, but she stopped quite suddenly. "Now your mother is watching."
Resisting the urge to glance at the house, he again shifted a little and used his peripheral vision. Unlike Regulus, Mum was peering out from a darkened window so it was hard to see her. It was late, and Mum and Dad were going to want to know what she said. "Let's go in. I'm going to have to talk to her."
Calyxa went up to bathe and get ready for bed, and Sirius went to make his report to his parents. When he told them that Calyxa had to wait until she was seventeen, Dad snorted and turned away. Mum considered it for a long time. "Go up to bed," was all she finally said. "See that your young lady is comfortable. Kreacher will bring up some wine. Maybe she'd like another glass to help her relax."
It worried him because they were acting so strangely and he still had no inking as to what they were up to. He washed up, changed into his night robes, and examined the new door as he waited for Calyxa to finish her bath.
When she came into her frilly, pink room, she stopped and frowned at him, looking a bit worried. She was dressed in a long nightgown and dressing gown and her hair was combed out. In her arm, she held a plush toy bird. After her mature and ladylike behavior in front of his parents, she looked very young and nervous.
"I don't know what they're up to," he admitted. "I know they have no idea that we're putting this all on, but they're acting too nice. Makes me a bit nervous."
"Ridiculous," she said in a low voice that sounded strange to him, as if she was trying to appear calmer than she really was. "You can easily see what they expect."
"What?" he asked in real confusion.
She glared at him. "Stop being deliberately stupid," she snapped, but she was more nervous than anything. "We are doing this to help you. Remus – he will be angry."
The words stung a little, but he could recognize how truly frightened she was. "I'm not playing. I really don't understand. What is it?"
Her eyes flashed. "They want you to... to..." She drew in a breath and looked him in the eye. "They want you... to give me... to give me a baby."
His mind could not comprehend what she was saying. "What?"
"By Losna," she muttered. "They want us to..." She stopped and scowled at him, shaking her head. Her very adult annoyance was strangely incongruent with her youthful appearance. "I do not know how to say it in English. They want us to make a baby. Together."
At these words, the whole world lurched sideways, and he had to sit down on the edge of his bed. What she said made sense, for if she became pregnant, her parents might agree to let them marry before she was seventeen.
'It happens all the time in Venice when one side wants to force a marriage."
"Yeah," he said. "I didn't realize." He felt completely and utterly stupid to have missed the obvious explanation.
She studied him and seemed to relax when she saw that he really hadn't known what his parents were thinking. "Perhaps they will leave us alone tonight."
It was so strange to think about Mum and Dad encouraging him to make love to a girl in his room while they were home. And Calyxa had been frightened. Had she thought that he might try to take advantage of her while they were alone? He hoped not, for having her fear him was the last thing he wanted. It would ruin everything!
"But we cannot be sure how truly private they will leave us." She stopped speaking and cocked her head to one side as if she had heard something strange. "That house-elf is coming."
"Kreacher?"
Calyxa set down her toy bird and sat close beside him. "Let him see that we have been kissing, and he will certainly tell your parents."
Since they had known they might have to pretend to be snogging at some point during the visit, they had planned for it. Without waiting, he clasped his arms around her and pressed his mouth against the side of her neck.
She held on to him as well, and he heard her sigh. "Oh, Sirius."
Kreacher, of course, came in without knocking. "Kreacher has brought some wine for the princess."
Calyxa gasped in surprise and leapt up.
"Get out of here, Kreacher, before I tell Mum you've been spying on the princess," snapped Sirius.
"Kreacher wasn't spying," complained the old house-elf. "Just bringing wine so the princess will be easy."
"You saw nothing," Calyxa told him in a rather commanding voice. "You did not see us alone here, and you did not see us kissing, for if you did, my mother and father will never let me see Sirius again."
"No, Kreacher saw nothing," the house-elf announced before turning to go.
"That was brilliant," Sirius sighed as he got up to pour some of the wine. "Cripes! This is the good stuff." He passed her a glass. "I bet he's on his way to tell Mum right now."
"I am sure you are right." She took a sip of the wine.
"At least we know they won't bother us until tomorrow morning."
"Perhaps," she said, gazing around at the walls. "Let me do one thing. Some special magic that will keep us safe if anyone gets too curious, even Kreacher."
"Some kind of Italian magic?" he asked, wondering what she meant.
"Well, something foreign," she said. She went to the window and looked out at the snow before closing her eyes and drawing in a breath. Then she opened her eyes and began to speak in Italian. Turning to the right, she began to pace the perimeter of the room while reciting what seemed to be a poem. When she reached the new door between their rooms, she passed through and entered the pink room.
He followed to the doorway and watched her pace along the perimeter of that room, all the while reciting the Italian poem. It occurred to Sirius that it was probably a spell.
When she approached the doorway again, he stepped back to let her pass. She reentered his room and completed the transit around the perimeter. Once she had reached the window where she had started, the entire room was flooded with an intense silvery light that slowly faded back to normal.
"There," she said with a sigh. "Now, tonight, they cannot see or hear what occurs in these rooms."
"Really?"
"If they attempt to penetrate the border by any means, either magical or physical, they will be misled into thinking that we are both in your bed."
Had his mates been here, he knew he would have been tempted to make a suggestive comment at her expense; however, he didn't want to make her nervous or uncomfortable when they still had to continue their charade tomorrow and at the ball.
"They'll be delighted then." He went over to the trunk at the foot of his bed and opened it. "James is at Remus's tonight. We can contact them with the mirrors. They won't be asleep yet."
"Contact them? Really?" She came over to where he was rummaging in the trunk.
"Sure." He got up with the mirror in hand and saw how her face had lit up at the mention of contacting Remus. It made him feel like laughing to see how eager she was, but at the same time, he felt a bit envious of the two of them. He hadn't ever been in love, not yet, but he thought it would be a good thing to have a nice girl to take care of.
He contacted James, had Remus take the mirror on the other end, and then gave his to Calyxa and left her alone in the pink room, closing the door as well as he could between them to give them some privacy.
Author's Notes: The usual thanks go to Vaughn, Phoenix, Clara Minutes, memory, and Finrod the Faithful.