A/N: Wow. I just finished this part of the story (Had a couple of weeks off studies and just wrote more than I slept) and this chapter is third from the end. Just... Wow.
It's not very long, and the one after that is even shorter, but the last one is over 4k words and following the events of "Swan Song".
This one is based on "Hammer of the Gods, starting from the point the last one ended.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Criminal Minds.
"Life isn't fair.
It's just fairer than death, that's all."
William Goldman, The Princess Bride
Slowly, very slowly, I dug myself out of the wrecks. I knew I was at the nursery, as it was where I died, and from the corner of my eye I could see Jenna but I looked away.
Breathe. I told myself, choking back tears. Deep breaths. There's nothing you can do to help her.
I crouched down, searching between pieces of stone and wood until I found the lighter and salt I held earlier. It was still the middle of the night, no more than a couple of hours after I returned. Otherwise, one of the neighbors would've called the police.
No more than a couple of hours since the battle, since Daniel and Jennifer died.
No more than a couple of hours since I died.
I crawled on my already bleeding hands and feet, making my way to where once used to be the garage. Thankfully, Darlin wasn't inside it, but she wasn't what I was looking for at the moment.
It took me another hour or so to pull the gasoline out, and another unknown period of time to pour it, along with the salt, over the wrecks.
It's gonna stink. I thought.
But I also knew it must be done.
The lighter clicked open, a small flame lighting the darkness of night before it was thrown onto what used to be my home, burning it down. Many bodies burned with it as I did my best to insure their rest in the next world before I took off on my motor and drove to Quantico.
I don't know how I managed to go through security looking the way I did, as it probably had something to do with my powers, but I managed to get to Hotch's office before I fell on the couch, sleep finally claiming my exhausted mind and body.
I was awoken a couple of hours later by the sounds of a conversation outside the office.
"Did you leave the door open?" A voice I managed to pin to Rossi asked.
"I never leave the door open." Another voice – Hotch's voice – replied.
My eyes remained closed as I heard two guns being released from their respective holsters and the door cracked open. There was a gasp of surprise – "Chessi!" – and my eyes fluttered open.
I looked at their faces, showing surprise and fear, and realized how I must've looked.
I hadn't took a shower in ages. The last time I did was before I even met Gabriel at the other world and since then I practiced, travelled worlds, fought, died, resurrected and burned a house.
It was safe to assume I looked worst to wear, and probably smelt not much better.
"What happened?" Was the only question that came out of Hotch's mouth as Rossi neared me and started checking me for injuries I knew he wouldn't find.
"A lot of things." I muttered.
"We were called early today because it was reported that your house was broken down and on fire and now you appear here after you've gone missing for over two months." He said. "What happened?"
"Like I said," I repeated, "a lot of things."
"You're not injured." Rossi said. "How are you not injured?"
"Chessi." Hotch's voice was stern and commanding. "What happened?"
So I told them. I told them I received a call in the middle of the night from Castiel, asking me to come and help, I told them I was stuck thirty years into the past and that I found myself at a different world. I told them I found a way back, and arrived late last night. My voice cracked when I recalled the fight, the deaths of my husband and child, my time in Heaven and my conversation with Death.
When I was done, neither of them seemed able to form words.
Luckily for them and unluckily for me, Garcia, who called everyone for briefing, interrupted us. Her surprised scream brought the rest of the team and I found myself surrounded by hugs, questions and stares.
It wasn't long before darkness found me again.
This time, I woke up in a small hospital bed. Reid was on the chair next to me, sleeping, and I could see Hotch talking to some police officers outside my door. I heaved a sigh, and Spencer's eyes opened.
"You're okay!" He called, suddenly holding my hand. "We were so worried. First you disappear and then you come back at your state and sleep for a week –"
"I slept for a week?" I asked, my voice hoarse.
"Nearly." He replied. "Hotch and Rossi told me about what… what happened. We also called Bobby but he has other matters on his head – Apocalypse and all – and Strauss said that if everything clears out, you could be back on the team in a week."
"Spence," I said carefully, "I'm not going back on the team."
"What?" He asked, confused. "Why?"
"There's an Apocalypse going on outside." I reminded him. "I turned a blind eye for too long, and all it ever did was hurt other people. I need to end this, because I'm the only one who can."
"What?" Spencer asked, confused. "How?"
"The Child of Creation." I said. "All I need to do is choose."
"So you're going to pick a side at the Apocalypse?"
"I already have." I informed him. "It cost me everything I had, but I have. I'm choosing team free will. But for that, I'm going to need Cas."
A week later, I was discharged and I hit the road in an attempt to find out information of my brothers' whereabouts. It seemed like I reached every place they were just after them, and the thought of waiting for them at Bobby's crossed my mind only I knew staying at one place for a long time would drive me crazy.
I can't let myself think or I'd break.
As I saw my plan, wasn't working, I thought of a new one. And the new one involved finding the whereabouts of a certain blue-eyed angel who was currently missing.
"Penny, I need your help."
The blonde sighed at the sound of my voice through the phone. "What do you need?"
"Search for white unidentified males, about 5"11'." I told her. "If there is eye color mentioned, rule out anything but blue. And…" I hesitated for less than a moment. "Search both ERs and Morgues."
"Will do." She said, typing. "I've got 74 matches. Are you gonna tell me what do you need it for?"
"You know I can't." I said, seeing a motel nearby and considering a stop. "I can't put you in danger."
"I'm using FBI resources to help you, Chessi." She reminded me. "I'm already in danger."
"Well, when you hacked into the FBI resources last time, you got a job offer." I said, smiling and deciding I need a break. "Maybe this time you'll get promoted."
"Shut up." She told me, but I could still hear the smile in her voice. "I'll email you the files."
"Thanks, Penny." I said, parking Darlin and walking towards the Motel manager. "You're a goddess."
"Tell me about it." She muttered as she hung up.
I paid in advance for one night at the motel before entering the room and taking a shower. When I was done, I opened my computer and entered my mailbox, checking if the files from Garcia had arrived yet.
To my surprise, the browser closed itself before the media player opened and a familiar song started playing.
"So 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me
Because you look so fine
And I really wanna make you mine."
I looked at the screen, trying to make the song stop, but it didn't even acknowledged I was there.
"Oh, 4, 5, 6 c'mon and get your kicks
Now you don't need that money
When you look like that, do ya honey?"
I tried to use my powers to stop it, but also knew I couldn't do it without ruining the laptop – the only possession I had left other than a couple of guns I bought, Darlin', and the clothes on my back.
"Big black boots,
Long brown hair,
She's so sweet
With her 'Get Back' stare."
Slowly, realization came to me as I started looking around for the familiar figure. I found him sitting on the floor, not at all laughing as I expected him to be.
Slowly, I walked towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me and I saw, for the first time since I met him, fear in his eyes.
"Well I could see,
You home with me,
But you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
Ain't got much to say,
Before I let you get away, yea!"
"Gabe." I said. "Are you okay?"
"No." He mumbled, stopping the song before with tears in his eyes. "I thought it could make me feel better, but it didn't."
"What happened?"
"You know how we always laugh that I owe you one, you owe me one, and all of that?" He asked and I nodded. "Well, I'm not laughing now. I really need this favor."
I didn't hesitated as I asked, "What do you need?"
Tears rose to his eyes and he looked away.
"Lucifer is gaining power, and I can stop it for a while but it's got a cost I'm not sure I'm willing to pay." He said.
"I'll help you with anything." I said. "Not because I owe you one or you owe me one. You're my friend, Gabe. And sometimes… I hope you see me as one as well."
"I do." He said. "I really do. You're my only friend, the only one I have left."
"So, I ask again." I said. "What do you need?"
"Diana." Fear rose within me as the severity he never showed came up. "I need you to help me not die."
A feeling of determination filled me and I took a deep breath, relieving at the feeling of usefulness once again.
"Alright." I said. "Tell me what's happening."
I was hidden on the ceiling of the Elysian Fields motel. I made sure to stay hide myself without my powers, in order to make sure Lucifer didn't notice anything was wrong.
Gabriel handed Dean the edited copy of Casa Erotica to be watched at the event of his death before pushing Lucifer away seconds before the latter killed Kali – the only one he ever loved.
"Lucy." He said as his brother stood up. "I'm home." Lucifer made a move towards Kali but Gabe raised his angel blade at him. "Not this time." He said as he pulled her up.
She leaned on him and I could see the way he cherished it, knowing this could be the last time he saw her, in case our plan failed to work and, more than likely, also in case it did. I wondered what would I have done the last time I saw Daniel, had I known.
Probably told him just how much I loved him.
"Guys!" I was brought back to reality by Gabriel's call as my brothers moved forward and took Kali away. "Get her out of here."
"Over a girl." Lucifer said, mocking, as the two humans and the goddess walked out. "Gabriel, really? I mean," his smile was almost mocking, "I knew you were slumming, but I hope you didn't catch anything."
"Lucifer." Gabriel said and I could just see how every word pained him. "You're my brother, and I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks."
Lucifer looked at him with rage. "What did you just say to me?"
"Look at yourself." Gabriel insisted. "Boo-hoo. Daddy was mean to me, so I'm gonna smash up all his toys."
"Watch your tone." Lucifer warned.
"Play the victim all you want." Gabe went on, as if oblivion to his brother's warning. "But you and me, we know the truth. Dad loved you best."
The sadness in his eyes was so familiar to me. It was the same sadness that appeared whenever I spoke of John.
Because John loved Sam best.
"More than Michael."
More than Dean, who was forced to grow up too fast, always on the lookout for monsters.
"More than me."
More than the twelve years old girl who was left at Bobby's house all the time, cut away from her family.
It was clear as day why Sam was to be Lucifer's vessel, at moments like this. But there was still one major difference between the two of them.
"Then he brought the new baby home," Gabriel said, "and you couldn't handle it. So all this is just a great big temper tantrum. Time to grow up."
"Gabriel," Lucifer said carefully, "if you're doing this for Michael –"
"Screw him." Gabe cut him off. "If he were standing here, I'd shiv his ass, too."
"You disloyal –"
"Oh, I'm loyal." Gabriel went on, and the three of us knew he was pushing the limits. "To them."
"Who?" Lucifer asked. "These… So-called gods?"
Gabriel sighed in despair. "To people, Lucifer. People."
"So you're willing to die for a pile of cockroaches?" Lucifer questioned. "Why?"
"Because Dad was right." Gabriel said. "They are better than us."
"They are broken, flawed abortions." Lucifer said.
"Damn right they're flawed." Gabriel countered. "But a lot of them try to do better. To forgive. And you should see the spearmint rhino." He shook his head sadly. "I've been riding the pine a long time, But I'm in the game now. And I'm not on your side or Michael's. I'm on theirs."
Team Free Will.
"Brother," Lucifer warned, "don't make me do this."
"No one makes us do anything." Gabe told him.
"I know you think you're doing the right thing, Gabriel." Lucifer told him. "But I know where your heart truly lies."
And without the need for a cue, I knew this was the moment I waited for. The fake Gabriel appeared behind Lucifer, preparing to attack, and with one swift motion the devil pushed the Angel Blade into his heart.
I knew it wasn't real, but I still had to stiffen my scream.
Lucifer looked into fake Gabriel's eyes when he spoke again. "Here."
He looked back to see the real Gabriel dissolving, in a plan I knew better than anyone, and as he reappeared next to me, both of our strengths were needed.
"Amateur hocus-pocus." Lucifer said, holding what he thought to be his brother's head in one hand as the other dug the knife deeper. "Don't forget. You learned all your tricks from me, little brother."
The knife twisted and my entire entity focused on creating the white glow that came out of the fake's eyes and mouth. In the light that blinded everything, Gabe created the outline of burnt wings – his wings.
Lucifer took two more deep breaths before walking away, and finally, Gabriel let himself break.
He cried for the father he missed more than anything. He cried for the fight between his brothers, and the way he was stuck in the middle.
He cried for the realization that, have I been gone, he would have died at the hands of his own brother. Because Lucifer was right. Gabriel did learn all his tricks from him. But I still had some of my own.
And I have lost enough in this stupid, petty war.
"So." I told Gabe hours later, when we both calmed down and sun started showing at the horizon. "What are you gonna do next?"
We were standing in my motel room, after he brought us here, and now he was going away once more.
"I think I'll lay low for a while." He said. "Take a break from all the Trickster-Archangel-Apocalypse crap. I heard Norway's beautiful this time of the year."
"Really?" I laughed. "What are you gonna go by? So I'll know what to search for when this is all over."
Gabe looked thoughtful. "I was thinking… Loki. Just kidding." He added, smiling at the look on my face. "Tom Iker."
"You do look like a Tom." I said with a smile.
"It was my vessel's name." Gabriel admitted. "Not the 'Iker' part, though. That's all me."
"You're insufferable." I laughed.
"But you love me anyway." He said with a smile as he pulled me to a hug.
"I'm gonna miss you." I whispered into his shoulder.
"This isn't goodbye." He told me. "Once all of this is over, I'll visit."
I smiled sadly, knowing I will barely see him anymore and that even if I would, things won't ever be the same.
"Stay safe, would you?" I asked. "I didn't go through all this trouble just so you could die on me now."
"I'll stay off the radar." He promised. "Live like… like a human. At least, until you sort out everything."
"What if I can't?"
"You can." He told me as he pulled away from the hug and kissed my cheek. "I trained you. I know what you're capable of, and tonight was an excellent example of it. You are brilliant." He informed me. "Smart, powerful, and stubborn as hell. If anyone can do this, it would be you."
He disappeared, probably moving himself to Norway, and I sighed as I opened my mailbox and started going through the list Garcia sent me, listening to Jet's "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" and reminding myself to pay for another night at the motel.
Review!