Chapter Twenty Five (Editied November 8, 2016)
Journal,
We've been here for a few days now; we're nearing the end of our time here at the Château.
It's harder to be here than I thought it would be, strangely enough. It's not hard all the time, just sometimes. But it's surprising, to find it difficult. I wasn't tortured here. The Château doesn't even look like the Manor, not at all. But sometimes I have these thoughts – I know they're irrational – that a Death Eater, or Voldemort himself is going to storm the place and hurt me. My Rosie. My husband. It's stressful sometimes, and it's resulted in me not sleeping well.
I think Ron blames Draco in a way, for me being tortured, because he didn't refuse to identify us when we were brought into the Manor by the Snatchers. By default, Ron also blames him for our troubles with conceiving. But, the way I saw it at the time, whilst being chased down by Snatchers, the only person that could not be identified at any cost was Harry. If Harry had been identified, Voldemort would have been called and we all would have died. In the grand scheme of things, Ron and I could have been killed without much consequence in terms of the war, so long as Harry survived and could get the remaining Horcruxes.
I went into that Manor knowing I could die. Whoever was going to identify us had no reason to lie; our pictures have been in The Prophet, and if they ever went to school with us, or were the parents of kids that did, they would be able to identify us. To refuse to identify us, if any of them were so inclined, would mean torture and death for them. I don't blame Draco for me being tortured. I blame Bellatrix, and she's dead. So I've had my closure in that sense, knowing she can't hurt me again. Those thoughts, though… they're just sometimes hard to shake.
I like Astoria, though. She's nice. She's a bit nervous around us, which is understandable, given our… reputations and she's younger than us. But she and Draco seem to fit together and complement one another.
HGW
Dear Miss Donnelly,
I'm not sure how I feel about staying here. In Malfoy's house. It makes me paranoid. It's like the Manor all over again, hearing Hermione's screams and knowing that I couldn't get to her. Even whilst we've been here, it's like we've been miles apart, in our own heads. We haven't really spoken much since we've been here. And then I ran my mouth. I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. I really do. But since I've been here, the fact that 'Mione and I haven't been talking, I haven't been sleeping well because I've been dreaming about the Manor all over again, and the fact that I'm spending a vacation with Malfoy of all people… I'd say I was crazy if I had gone back and told past me that this would be happening. It just all makes me so angry and grumpy… I guess I wanted Malfoy to be as angry and grumpy and hurt as I've been since we've been here. Misery needs company, right?
His wife seems okay. Bit twitchy, but okay.
RW
Ginny sat in their wing in the Château; Harry had taken the boys and Lily downstairs for a walk in the gardens.
"I like it here. It's pretty, I feel relaxed here… except for all the tension between Ron, Hermione, and Malfoy. I don't understand. Ron just seems like he's got a storm cloud hanging over him. I wish I could help him, but I don't even know where to start. Hermione… I get where she's coming from. She was tortured in one of Malfoy's houses. It's bound to make things weird, her being here and things being okay and good. It's grating her and stressing her out because she's expecting something bad. Harry… he seems okay. I'm so proud of him. He has a lot of reasons to not like Malfoy and not to warm up to this whole idea, but I think he's really embracing it. Astoria seems nice. I haven't really spoken to her, but she's got this… reserve of calm to her. Like nothing can phase her. She's going to need it. We all could use some of that calm reserve. I envy her that." Ginny's shoulders drooped and she stopped the recording. The transcript shot out into her hand. She folded it up and put it in her handbag.
Journal,
It's been okay, being here. Not as bad as I thought it would be. It's been… nice, actually. We've never been to France before, so it actually has been a vacation. The kids have been really well behaved. When we first got here, James was so unabashedly amazed. When I look at him, I see what I could have been had I not had the weight of… everything that I did on my shoulders. And I also feel a little guilty. We do spoil our children, Gin and I do. We don't overdo it – mustn't give our kids big heads over things – but they never want for anything, and we do extra things now and again for them. But to see James so awestruck over the Château, it makes me wonder: are we doing enough?
Talking with Astoria was good. I think she needed to hear what I said. I hope she did. It was good for me to talk about it, too. We were all such a bloody mess. Us supporting each other was the only thing that held us together back then, I think. I'm so thankful for Hermione, Ginny, Ron, the kids.
Ron, Merlin, mate. He really knows how to mess things up, sometimes. I just don't want to fight anymore. It's not worth it. Fighting amongst ourselves, over some House Rivalry and differences we all had in school, and it's trivial now. Especially when every day I look at people trying to be the next Voldemort, or Grindelwald. People who sympathise with the Death Eaters and Voldemort are still out there. We've got special units dedicated to weeding those out and making sure justice is served. It's not even that. It's the everyday criminals. Those that steal things, abuse their kids, kill people, and frighten the masses. That's what I have to deal with every day. I know Ron doesn't think it's trivial and that's fine. It really is. But there's more than that, now, a bigger picture. The world needs to be safe for our kids. That can't happen when we're concentrating on what's right in front of us. It's just so tiring.
HP
Kumbaya Experiment,
I can't get over the Weasel and his little outburst. I was livid. I think I would've punched him in the face if my son hadn't been there.
But even more, I can't believe the Weasel was actually right. I wanted to find Astoria. This was the best and first place to look. It conveniently took me out of the spotlight and allowed us all to have a vacation of sorts. When she wasn't here… I was crushed. I didn't know where else to look. There were also all these reports – complete drivel of course, but there were so many of them – about Astoria being unfaithful. I was so glad that Astoria showed up. That we talked. I just can't believe that Astoria didn't confide in me about how she was feeling. I had no idea…
I need to pay better attention.
Draco Malfoy.
A/N: I needed to do a serious re-edit of Chapter Twenty Five. I wrote it ad then cringed, really, because I put Ron in such a sudden, unflattering light. I do like Ron as a character, and I seemed to sacrifice that in favour of pushing a plot point that needed to happy. Hopefully Ron's reaction isn't so extreme now.